Advent of the God-Harem King [Highschool DxD/Exalted] (CLOSED)

[Crazael]

Akeno and Issei's relationship

Sona and Rias and there friendship and testing themselves against each other?

Great Red?

Fenrir?

I don't know, sounds like a lot of character rape to me /shrug

Click to shrink...

Does Great Red do anything more than just fly by in the novels? 'Cause if not, not having hime move much makes perfect sense and doesn't diminish the scene at all.

 

[Blight Gecko]

The reward is a little preview: yes, Azazel has a device that can help Issei (though it has an embarrassing appearance). Issei will use FA Teleportation for the travel, cutting down the time. What Azazel wants will be resolved in a few minutes, leaving ample time to do Sona's request.

Click to shrink...

I guess so. Umm... sorry that got out of hand. I was a bit frustrated at the time. You know how we stupid Internet people operate when we are behind a keyboard.

 

[Khyper]

act like dick or be a bitch

it kinda depend on the gender

 

[Lon]

Never did understand that. Why be mean if you don't have to?
It just seems like a waste of energy.

 

[Blight Gecko]

Never did understand that. Why be mean if you don't have to?
It just seems like a waste of energy.

Click to shrink...

It is what is called keyboard courage. When you are behind a keyboard it is easy to make hurtful comments thanks to the power of anonymity.

 

[Lon]

Eh, like I said, don't really get it personally.

Treat others how you want to be treated yourself.
Don't like being hurt, or trolled, or what have you. So I don't do it to others. Which makes others less likely to do it to me in return.

It just seems simpler that way.

 

[Crazael]

Eh, like I said, don't really get it personally.

Treat others how you want to be treated yourself.
Don't like being hurt, or trolled, or what have you. So I don't do it to others. Which makes others less likely to do it to me in return.

It just seems simpler that way.

Click to shrink...

The problem with that is that some people actually do enjoy those things.

 

[Z000]

for some it unintentional
they just have very little social skill so they have a hard time knowing their comment are hurtful or just trollish

 

[BlackThief12]

You know, someone should sent me a pic of female! Kiba, and there's a certain fanfic where Issei is a girl. And I have the stupidest plan ever.

 

[touhou ranfuku]

You know, someone should sent me a pic of female! Kiba, and there's a certain fanfic where Issei is a girl. And I have the stupidest plan ever.

Click to shrink...

Can't you just google it? Female!Kiba has two official illustrators.

 

[BlackThief12]

Already done it, though I wonder.... What would Vali's reaction with Muria's "trap" would be?

 

[Blight Gecko]

You know, someone should sent me a pic of female! Kiba, and there's a certain fanfic where Issei is a girl. And I have the stupidest plan ever.

Click to shrink...

That's Random

 

[BlackThief12]

Oh, I'll tell you what is my plan in the PM. >

 

[BlackThief12]

Well... I didn't sent any PM, but I want to make a spin-off of this series with my OC, along with a antivillain OC and a lot of bosses. Should I do it?

 

[EternitynChaos]

going to be blunt, kindly take it somewhere else please this is a quest thread, not a general writing thread and seriously not the place

 

[BlackThief12]

Okay. But still should I?

 

[touhou ranfuku]

Okay. But still should I?

Click to shrink...

It's not about' should' or 'shouldn't', it's about 'Do I want to write it', 'When would I finish the first chapter', 'When would I post this' and 'Would I complete the story'.
By the way post the idea in Ideas thread.

 

[BlackThief12]

Got it, and I'm going to make a Omake that you will not be expecting.

 

[BlackThief12]

Okay, I already done with the spin off of the Trial of the God-Harem King with the permission of Alexander.

 

[Higure]

[X] Okay

You might as well get this over with. Even if you are still uncomfortable with the whole 'being an Youkai Yakuza Boss' situation. It doesn't feel right.

{I agree with you.}

Woah! Did Bright-sensei just-

{Those peons and beasts should worship you as a God like all Solars, even the pathetic ones like you, are entitled to!}

Okay, nevermind that. Being an Youkai Yakuza Boss is fine.

Better than the alternative anyway.

"Sure." You nod while making the gesture of straightening a imaginary tie. "Lead the way sempai."

====

"Greetings Hyodo-sama." The headless armoured knight manages to bow even without his head, who is held under his arm. The ghastly voice comes from the helmet-covered head, two pale blue flames glowing behind the visor. "I am Smith the Dullahan. Forgive me for not having a more glorious name to give you. Sadly i quite forgot my original one. You know how it is, centuries of doing nothing but riding around to announce people's imminent deaths aren't good for one's sanity." His chuckle is like the rattling of bones. "Plus, with how often people die I haven't much free time for a long, long time."

"Err, no. Sorry, but I don't know how it is. I'm not even twenty." You say slowly. "But now you're better?"

"Very much! Japan's health care system is one of the best of the world. Why, once I even had a whole week completely free!"

"...What about those who die of violent death?"

"Luckily for me my urges only work on those who are going to die of natural death."

"I see." You already had some info on Dullahan, but nothing so detailed.

Your eyes look up to the massive horse standing behind Smith, its black fur and glowing eyes making it seems like it may belong to Raoh himself!

Smith the Dullahan is just one of the few but colorful monsters under Abe-senpai's care. After him you are introduced to a small colony of harpies, a lamia and even a mermaid!

...Nope. Sorry, but that's too much of a delusion even for you. It's not a normal Mermaid, but an Unfortunate Mermaid: instead of a human body with a fish tail, it's a fish with human legs.

Abe-sempai calls her Estleena.

Spoiler

You call it a tuna with legs. In your mind of course.

"Are you alright?" Kiyome asks as you leave the pool where the mermaid live. "Your right eyebrow is twitching so much it looks like it's trying to send a morse code."

"I injured it a couple of days ago during training, and it has done the same sporadically since then." You shamelessly lie. "It should stop completely soon."

Next is a bird man whose race originally came from Easter Island, but his ancestor migrated to Kobe and started a colony there.

"So you are the legendary Dragon who Ojou-sama respect and who managed to gain the trust of the Nura Clan. Fufufu, I see, you have a good look. I'm Takahashi. My name is Sky which stands for 'glittering sky'. Let's get along."

The bird-like monster man, with a cockscomb on his head, a beak for his mouth and wings on his arms shakes your hand, while acting like a gentleman. True to his name, his aura is so glittering it hurts the eyes.

"Yes, let's get along." You reply. Despite his quirks he seems like an okay guy.

After Sky-san it's the turn of a white gorilla.

...Come again?

"Hokyooooooooooooooooooooooou!"

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!

The gorilla howls before it starts banging on its chest with its thick arms like a drum. Abe-senpai then introduces the gorilla.

"I will introduce you to her. She is Christie a Yuki-onna and also known as a Yeti (Female)."

[Look! A big monkey!] Ddraig says in a fake surprised tone before bursting out laughing.

"HOLY COW!" The sudden sight is so surprising you instinctively jump back and perform three rapid backward somersaults. You cross your arms in a 'X' form. "Sorry sempai but I have to stop you there! Or it's a Yuki-onna or it's a Yeti! It cannot be both at once! No, before that I am pretty sure Christie(?) is a Yeti!"

The gorilla who doesn't possess even an ounce of femininity has a pretty ribbon on its head. It's even more unforgivable!

Abe-sempai seems slightly mad. "Don't be silly Hyodo-kun! Yuki-onna is the correct Japanese term to use to call a Yeti (Female)."

"Lieeeeeesss!! I met a real Yuki-onna! She was a gentle girl who wore a pale azure yukata and a scarf! Her freezing breath is so powerful it turned everything she cook into an ice sculpture!"

Many miles away Tsurara Oikawa suddenly feels the urge to punch a jerk in the guts.

"That's also a Yuki-onna. But Christie is a splendid Yuki-onna too! This girl's mother was a very fine Yuki-onna that drove away groups of mountain climbers to protect the mountain!"

When did this dialogue turned so surreal?

Kii and Mii comes to your rescue by taking you aside to whisper conspiratorially. "We know Oikawa-san, so we wondered too." "So we asked around and found the answer."

"Which is?"

"Yeti aren't native to Japan." "They arrived there two hundred years ago." "So when common people first met them-" "They called them [Yuki no Hitobito] ('People of the Snow')."

Are gorilla so different from monkeys that the old japanese couldn't make the connection?!

"Males were called Yuki-otoko ('Snow Male')-" "While females were called Yuki-onna ('Snow Female')."

'Are you telling me that beauties like Tsurara-chan and abominations against nature like that female Yeti are called the same because the kanji for 'woman' and 'female' are pronounced the same?!

Don't fuck with meeeeeee!!!!'

"Oh my Christie, why are you looking at Hyodo-san with such ardent eyes?"

...What did you just heard?


====

"You look like someone sucked the life out of you." Mittelt remarks quite bluntly as she sits in front of you, Eiko doing the same to her left.

Once again cursing Suika for making you averse to alcohol you gulp down the rest of your glass of milk. "I had one of my teen phantasies destroyed because my ancestors couldn't bother to be more original when naming new stuff."

She hums, managing to convey with her gesture absolutely nothing.

"Also, a gorilla tried to get intimate with me."

She hums again. "Are we talking of a thuggish looking girl or-"

You slam the glass on the table. "I'm talking about the damn monkey."

"Really Master." Eiko opens her fan to cover her mouth. "Eiko has no intention of telling you on what you should focus your interest, nor what kind of people you should frequent as befitting of your status, but please direct your salacious urges on targets who meet even a modicum of minimal standards."

"There are so many things to tsukkomi in that sentence, I don't even know where to begin."

[Wow, you are really tired.]

'Shut up Ddraig.'

"You can do that later." Mittelt takes out an iPhone (where did she get that?) and input a series of commands. "I send you a file. Read it."

Curious about what this is about you take out your own iPhone (what? You're rich, you can do it) and check your message list. Finding the file you open it. Uhm, it appears to be a very dense sche-

"...Mittelt." You begin slowly, unable to move away your gaze from the screen." "What, is this?"

"A complete schedule to manage your work, school, clan and harem made by me, Eiko and Rias-sempai." She says proudly, Eiko mimicking the pose. "It min-max everything, allowing you to advance all tasks without sacrifices. We even managed your dates: I am first because I'm the Alpha, Asia-chan is second, then we have Yang, Rias-sempai and Aika-chan. And if you read entry 36.7 you will find a list of future candidates, when and how is best to ask them out and-"

"Okay, stop." You lower your phone and stare right at her. "Look, I am grateful for this."

"As your First Mate, that's only natural for me."

You ignore her words. "But that was something I could do by myself!" What kind of Harem KIng can't manage his own Harem?

"Please." She waves you off. "Something so delicate requires a woman's touch."

You...may have severely underestimated the creature known as 'girls'.

[Whipped! So whipped!] Some of your male sempai chant before bursting out laughing, Ddraig joining them.

They are so going to pay one day. So much so.

====

Later, after running away making a tactical retreat, you decide to finally funfill Sona's request, so that Rikuo-kun and his friends could visit Kuoh without complications.

And with you following them, since there is no telling what kind of rumors about you they will meet. You really hope those about a secret cult worshipping you are false!

"So, I need to find a foreign girl harassing the shops and cafes in the area, as well as just generally being violent." You say aloud. "Without a single clue that could help me to find her."

There is a pregnant pause, during which a kid on a tricycle moves next to you, picks his nose, tosses something away and resumes his ride.

"Yeah, I am not doing this alone."

Ten minutes later you are knocking on the hotel's room where Homura and the others are staying.

"Who is it?" Homura's voice asks.

"It's me, Hyodo."

"Prove it."

You stare at the door unamused. "You, Homura, are a fan of Sengoku Basara. You styled yourself after Date Masamune."

The door opens, revealing an almost pouting expression. "I'm not a fan of Sengoku Basara. I like it: there is a difference."

You can't help but notice how she doesn't deny the second accusation.

She stands aside and motions for you to enter. When you step inside, instead of a large and modern hotel's room, what greets you is a large and traditional wooden room resembling a dojo. There is a Kotatsu in the center, the walls covered by weapon racks and other items of dubious origin. Mirai, Haruka, Hikage and Yomi are sitting in front of a TV munching on sweets.

"Does the hotel know of your room's redesign?"

"Nope. Don't worry, bribing the maids didn't took much."

You worry instead!

"Ara ara. Welcome Hyodo-san." Haruka greets you. "What bring you to our humble abode?"

You cough to clear your throat. "I require your help, all of you. Consider this your first mission."

"Who needs to die?" Hikage asks, taking out a knife.

Down with the blade girl.

You are about to tell them when you phone ring. It's a message from Azazel, telling you that he's still waiting for you to come to his laboratory and test his new Robo-Maid.

'PS: This will not take long. Pinkie promise~'

To you it's a mystery how the Fallen Angels aren't already extinct with a leader like theirs.

Useless old men aside, if what Azazel said is true you can take a quick detour. And Homura said she wanted to go through Azazel's training too (poor girl doesn't know what is waiting for her, but who are you to destroy her illusions). And, if you are lucky (which you totally are), one of the Fallen's gadgets could even prove to be useful to find the mysterious foreign girl.

[] Accept Azazel's offer and go to his base with Homura and the others.
[] Decline Azazel's offer for now and do Sona's request with Homura and the others.
[] Write-in.
====

Summer.

This is my excuse.

Click to shrink...

[X]Accept Azazel's offer, ask him if he would mind sending one of our minions through his traing from hell while we're there.
-[X] If he says yes, bring Homura along.
[X]In the mean time, order our remaining Ninja to locate, track, and observe the girl we're looking for.. Finding out her name and place of residence is the first priority. Give them everything we know about her. Make it clear that they are not to contact, be seen by, or attack their target. Scouting only.
-[X] If they can find out any personal information, such as interests or habits, that would also be useful.


Finally caught up. This is an impressive piece of work, Alexander.

 

[BlackThief12]

[X]Accept Azazel's offer, ask him if he would mind sending one of our minions through his traing from hell while we're there.
-[X] If he says yes, bring Homura along.
[X]In the mean time, order our remaining Ninja to locate, track, and observe the girl we're looking for.. Finding out her name and place of residence is the first priority. Give them everything we know about her. Make it clear that they are not to contact, be seen by, or attack their target. Scouting only.
-[X] If they can find out any personal information, such as interests or habits, that would also be useful.


Finally caught up. This is an impressive piece of work, Alexander.

Click to shrink...

Huh, I kinda like that plan.

[X]Accept Azazel's offer, ask him if he wouldn't mind sending one of our minion through his training from hell while we're there.
-[X]If he say yes, bring Homura along.
[X]In a mean time, order our remaining Ninja to locate, track and observe the girl we were looking for. Finding out her name and place of residents is our first priority. Give them everything we know about her. Make it clear that they are not to contact, be seen by, or attack their target. Scouting only.
-[X]If they can find out any personal information, just as interested or habits, that would also be useful.

I like that.

 

[Diller]

[X]Accept Azazel's offer, ask him if he wouldn't mind sending one of our minion through his training from hell while we're there.
-[X]If he say yes, bring Homura along.
[X]In a mean time, order our remaining Ninja to locate, track and observe the girl we were looking for. Finding out her name and place of residents is our first priority. Give them everything we know about her. Make it clear that they are not to contact, be seen by, or attack their target. Scouting only.
-[X]If they can find out any personal information, just as interested or habits, that would also be useful.

vote change

 

[kinglugia]

[X]Accept Azazel's offer, ask him if he wouldn't mind sending one of our minion through his training from hell while we're there.
-[X]If he say yes, bring Homura along.
[X]In a mean time, order our remaining Ninja to locate, track and observe the girl we were looking for. Finding out her name and place of residents is our first priority. Give them everything we know about her. Make it clear that they are not to contact, be seen by, or attack their target. Scouting only.
-[X]If they can find out any personal information, just as interested or habits, that would also be useful.

 

[BlackThief12]

Hey, just to anybody that doesn't know it yet, I have already gotten permission to write a spin off, and I already published. Check it out and please vote.

 

[Biofan09]

I see nothing horrendously wrong with this plan and votes aren't locked yet, so what the hell.
[X]Accept Azazel's offer, ask him if he would mind sending one of our minions through his traing from hell while we're there.
-[X] If he says yes, bring Homura along.
[X]In the mean time, order our remaining Ninja to locate, track, and observe the girl we're looking for.. Finding out her name and place of residence is the first priority. Give them everything we know about her. Make it clear that they are not to contact, be seen by, or attack their target. Scouting only.
-[X] If they can find out any personal information, such as interests or habits, that would also be useful.

 

[Alexander]

[X] Accept Azazel's offer and go to his base with Homura and the others.

You decide to accept Azazel's offer. Thanks to the magic he taught you travel time is drastically cut down, and even if you have to leave Homura behind you still have four other experienced ninja to help.

"Alright, a small adjustment of plans." You quickly send an affirmative reply and put away your phone. "I need you for a scouting mission to find a certain someone, but before that a quick detour to see what an acquaintance of mine want." You look at Homura. "He is also the one who trained me, so if you are still interested..." 'In the torture.' You mentally add.

The busty ravenette's eyes light up. "Sure I am!" Behind her you can see Haruka quickly writing something on a piece of paper and show it to you: [Please lend us Asia-chan's help]. You nod, which Homura takes as an expression of approval. "You said he's a Fallen Angel?"

"Azazel, Governor General of the Grigori: which is to say he's the president of his entire race. One of the first Fallen Angels, meaning he was probably there to see Babel's Tower crumble. Said to have taught men how to make weapons, and women how to make cosmetics." You pause, letting them digest that. "He's also a pervert of epic proportions, so if he takes too much liberties you're authorized to cut off the offending appendage."

"Why are all the people you know so crazy?!" Mirai asks in disbelief.

You shrug. "So it's life." And you believe it, even if it brings up very unfortunate implications. You kneel down and, index finger glowing with essence, start drawing a magic circle while mentally making the necessary calculations. "You're going to experience teleportation for the first time. There have been cases of people not taking it well, so if you feel like puking kindly turn away, 'kay?"

The umbrella-wielding shinobi grumbles but eventually nods. She and the others just watch as you complete the circle and then step inside when told so. Once everything is ready you add the final numbers to complete the spell.

And with a flash of light you and the shinobi are gone.

====

You materialize outside the warehouse that hide Azazel's facility, as the defenses put around it stop any attempt at teleportation inside its confines. Thankfully none of your passengers puke.

You raise a hand. "Wait." Moving slowly you creep close to the entrance before tapping with your foot the ground in front of it.

Clack!

Yep, the trap-door is still there. "I'm not going to fall for it twice, old man!" You shout in triumph, sure Azazel is watching you.

The shutter rolls up. You knew it, he gave-

Click!

And then the ground behind you springs forward, making you and the shinobi fly into the door and land into an old-fashioned cart of the type you can find inside a mine. Before anyone can react harnesses unwind and wrap around the six of you, pinning you down.

Then the cart starts moving horizontally before taking an abrupt dive downward.

You have no idea how Azazel managed to fit a roller coaster down there, nor why he themed it after dinosaurs and ancient maya temples. Instead you are totally sure the cart's speed is way above the safety measures of any country of Earth.

"HEADS WILL ROLL FOR THIS!!!!" Mirai screams, her head firmly nestled between Haruka and Yomi's boobs.

"D-Don't move!" You would add your opinion too, but sadly the back of your head is firmly pressed against Homura's breasts...and even breathing is enough to incite certain reactions you know she isn't going to just forget anytime soon. "Mmmh!"

"Something hard is poking me." Hikage drones.

'Please don't say anymore!'

When the ride ends the harnesses snap open and the cart tilts 90° forward, spilling the six of you out in an undignified heap.

"Muahahahah!! And so the foolish heroes finally return!" Smoke goes off while disco-lights paint it in many colors. Behind them thunder rumbles and lightning flashes. Floating down from above, his twelve black fallen-angel wings spread out, is Azazel...wearing the costume of Gemini Saga from his time as the Pope from Saint Seiya?!

Just what is this man smoking?!?!

[The good stuff.]

Quiet you!

A grenade is shot at Azazel, but it impacts against an invisible barrier and explodes, leaving the Fallen unharmed.

"Useless! Useless! Your attacks are too weak to even reach a superior being like myself!"

Then one lightning bolt hits him dead-on, leaving his body a charred mess that promptly falls down.

====

"Who exactly were you trying to impress?"

"You didn't show up in a while, and I thought it was because you were starting to lose interest. So I decided to fix it."

"I was just busy with other stuff! Did I come here when asked, or not?" You finish to apply the last bandage on Azazel's face and step back, huffing. "Don't talk like I am your only friend."

"Ah, but sometimes I feel like you are." The Fallen grins before putting an arm around your neck, his eyes looking at Homura and the others with a stare that undress women without making them conscious of it. "And your tastes are growing better and better! Maybe I should skip the 'honorary' and make you a full fledged Fallen Angel instead! Want to take my place?"

"No thanks." You jab him in one of the worst injuries, stepping out of the neck hold while he yelps in pain. "They're the Homura's Crimson Squad, shinobi that accepted to work under me. Homura here-" You gesture to the ponytailed girl. "Saw how effective the training you put me under is and expressed the desire to undergo a similar one."

"Oh?" Instantly Azazel's pose changes from sloppy to calculative, an intrigued glint in his eyes. "Do you want to become strong girl?"

"Strong enough to not take crap from anyone!" She declares passionately. "I thought my enemies were going to be only humans, but now I need to push myself much, much higher!"

"Well said!" Azazel claps. "That strong determination is why I love humanity so much! We will discuss it later, until then please wait here. Come with me Hyodo-kun." You follow him to another room, with a training ring in the center.

"You mentioned a...Robo-Maid?" Only now it hits you how ridiculous that sound.

"Yes! Originally I just wanted someone who would clean my study without yelling at me to toss away my porn!" He shamelessly declares. "Then I thought: 'if I am going to build a robot, it behooves me to equip it with hidden guns, cannons, a rocket punch and a jetpack!"

"That's not a maid! That's a killing machine!"

"It's both! I am a genius, why should what I build be limited by paltry things such as a lack of specialization?"

That sentence hurts you brain. Obvious to your suffering Azazel takes out a remote control and press a button. "Now come out, my beloved creation!"

A hole opens in the ring, followed by the sound of an elevator coming closer. Soon something steps into your view and Azazel's latest creation is revealed.

Wut.

"Greetings Doctor. Do you have orders for me?" It speaks with a mechanical, feminine voice.

Seriously, wut?

"What do you think?" Azazel ask you with a shit-eating grin.

"That's Mech-Hisui from Melty Blood!" You shout while pointing at the robot! "You damn old man! First Saint Seiya and now the Nasuverse? Stop mocking us Japanese otakus you bastaaaaaaaardddd!!"

"How is that mocking?" He protests. "I realized what for others is just a dream! Hisui, show him how your primary guns work!"

"Understood." Her hands detach and slide sideway, revealing two shotgun barrels. "Taking aim."

Wait, is she aiming at yo-?!"

"Fire."

She shoots.

A cardbox situated four meters to your left is shredded.

"Making correction to aim..." Normally you would have already started running, but a strange feeling is rooting you in place. "Fire."

She shoots again.

This time a lamp falls down from the ceiling.

"..." Hisui is silent. You're willing to bet she wants to act embarrassed, but doesn't know how.

"How strange. There must be something wrong with her targeting system." Mumbling to himself Azazel walks behind her and opens a panel in her back. He starts working on it and after a few minutes closes it. "Try again."

"Understood." She aims at you again. "Taking aim. Fire."

She shoots for the third time.

Azazel falls down with a gasp.

"You were behind her." You gape at the quickly bleeding scientist. "How the fuck did you get hit?!"

"There must be...a bug...in the programming." He wheezes out.

"You can bet there is!"

====

In the end you have to beg Bright to give you some pointers in first aid, lest you had Azazel bleed to death on your feet.

Update!

Medicine: -> O

Click to shrink...

After telling Homura to look after him until Asia arrive (and adding that if he gets touchy he's obviously well enough to take a little beating) you leave with Mirai, Haruka, Hikage and Yomi while fidgeting with the strange handheld radar Azazel gave you.

"Did you know that, even if you have zero talent in magic, being born and growing up in a certain place gives you a subtle but still noticeable magical scent associated with that place? No? Well now you do. That's how that thing works: it scans a large area and pick up the scents not native to the set area. I put Japan as the set area, so it may be a little indiscriminate...also, it is impossible to have a precise location. At the very least it can direct you to a specific district. That's the best I have for what you need."

You grunt. Despite the limitations it will be a great help, plus since Sona told you this foreign girl is seen at the shops and cafes of the area around Kuoh you can narrow the search even further.

It doesn't take long for you to work out how the radar's functions and obtains a first reading, which tell you there is a match just now in a popular shopping district near Kuoh. You tell the girls what you want them to do, divide the district into five zones, assign each one to a different person (you included) and then spit up.

====

At the beginning you honestly thought this affair was going to take days.

"Boss? I have a possible target." Hikage says over the phone.

Instead your good luck is still strong, because it takes only fifteen minutes!

"Are you sure? Describe it."

"A Chinese chick in a red cheongsam with bells in her hair. She's inside a cafe, beating the crap out of two guys who I think tried to flirt with her. Oh, one of them is taking out a kni-nope, just a broken arm."

Uhm, indeed it matches with Sona's description. But why does this girl feel familiar somehow? "Sound like her alright. I'm coming."

Thanks to the power of roof-hopping (and the common habit to not look up unless someone is making a ruckus) you quickly reach Hikage, who is sitting on the edge of a roof. "Where she is?"

She wordlessly points below. You follow the finger's direction and see-

Ma Renka, the daughter of Ma Kensei, calmly eating a parfait despite the two writhing bodies on her feet and the fact the other customers are giving her a wide berth.

That's why she felt familiar!

[] Write-in.

====

Again, I planned this in advance. Some may believe I just add things randomly...but believe me, it's all connected!

In my head.

 

[Crow]

"Muahahahah!! And so the foolish heroes finally return!" Smoke goes off while discolights paint it in many colors. Behind them thunder rumbles and lightning flashes. Floating down from above, his twelve black fallen-angel wings spreading out, is Azazel...wearing the costume of Gemini Saga from his time as the Pope from Saint Seiya?!

Just what is this man smoking?!?!

[The good stuff.]

Click to shrink...

I happen to agree.

"You mentioned a...Robo-Maid?" Only now it hits you how ridiculous that sound.

"Yes! Originally I just wanted someone who would clean my study without yelling at me to toss away my porn!" He shamelessly declares. "Then I thought: 'if I am going to build a robot, it behooves me to equip it with hidden guns, cannons, a rocket punch and a jetpack!"

"That's not a maid! That's a killing machine!"

"It's both! I am a genius, who why should what I build being limited by paltry things such a lack of specialization?"

That sentence hurts you brain. Obvious to your suffering Azazel takes out a remote control and press a button. "Now come out, my beloved creation!"

An hole opens in the ring, soon followed by the sound of an elevator coming closer. Soon something steps into your view and Azazel's latest creation is revealed.

Wut.

"Greetings Doctor. Do you have orders for me?" It speaks with a mechanical, feminine voice.

Seriously, wut?

"What do you think?" Azazel ask you with a shit-eating grin.

"That's Mech-Hisui from Melty Blood!" You shout while pointing at the robot! "You damn old man! First Saint Seiya and now the Nasuverse? Stop mocking us Japanese otakus you bastaaaaaaaardddd!!"

"How is that mocking?" He protests. "I realized what for others is just a dream! Hisui, show him how your primary guns work!"

"Understood." Her hands detach and slide sideway, revealing two shotgun barrels. "Taking aim."

Wait, is she aiming at yo-?!"

"Fire."

She shoots.

A cardbox situated four meters to your left is shredded.

"Making correction to aim..." Normally you would have already started running, but a strange feeling is rooting you in place. "Fire.

She shoots again.

This time a lamp falls down from the ceiling.

"..." Hisui is silent. You're willing to bet she wants to act embarrassed, but doesn't know how.

"How strange. There must be something wrong with her targeting system." Mumbling to himself Azazel walks behind her and opens a panel in her back. He starts working on it and after a few minutes closes it. "Try again."

"Understood." She aims at you again. "Taking aim. Fire."

She shoots for the third time.

Azazel falls down with a gasp.

"You were behind her." You gape at the quickly bleeding scientist. "How the fuck did you get hit?!"

"There must be...a bug...in the programming." He wheezes out.

"You can bet there is!"

Click to shrink...

There is so much win here Im not sure mortal words are enough to describe it...

 

[burningclaw2]

And as the saying goes, That was how Kohaku won.

 

[Stroth]

"Yes! Originally I just wanted someone who would clean my study without yelling at me to toss away my porn!" He shamelessly declares. "Then I thought: 'if I am going to build a robot, it behooves me to equip it with hidden guns, cannons, a rocket punch and a jetpack!"

"That's not a maid! That's a killing machine!"

Click to shrink...

Dude, you trained under Bright Shattered Ice. You'd think he'd have built up a tolerance to that sort of thing by now.

 

[burningclaw2]

Dude, you trained under Bright Shattered Ice. You'd think he'd have built up a tolerance to that sort of thing by now.

Click to shrink...

You'd think he'd have made his own Murder-Maid by now.