Better Enjoy This While I Can (ASOIAF, Stannis SI.)

[Psyckosama]

Imagine Oberin wanting to have a bit of revenge by having Podrick "die by snu snu", only for Podrick emerging from the whorehouse and thanking him

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Reminds me of this piece of fucked up MHA hentai art....

Spoiler: NSFW link

https://tulip.paheal

Dot

net/_images/0ea5a3bf6fe4d01af7ee3b391bf02410/3919170%20-%20Himiko_Toga%20Izuku_Midoriya%20Kyouka_Jirou%20Manami_Aiba%20Mei_Hatsume%20Mina_Ashido%20Momo_Yaoyorozu%20My_Hero_Academia%20Nemuri_Kayama%20Ochaco_Uraraka%20Rumi_Usagiyama%20Ryuko_Tatsuma%20Ryuko_Tsuchikawa%20Shino_Sosaki%20Tomoko_Shiretoko%20Tsuyu_Asui%20Wellllll%20Yuu_Takeyama.png

 

[ATP]

Podrick,hero of Dorne and new,better dawid.Is it you,Emperor of Humankind ?
Jokes aside - if Oberyn take Sarella,Sam would meet perfect waifu,they are both bookworms.
Sports - wrestling,sumo or both would be popular.
Food - tarta with either fruits or meat.And kebab,maybe.

 

[Flightless Man]

And thus Arianne Martell would encheforth be known as "The Smiling" for.... huh... unknown reasons.. yeah let's go with that.

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Oh... That's a really good epitath. Using that somewhere.

Time for Podrick to shine and show the Dornish his might!

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He's going to have at least one notch on his belt (snakeskin, because I think that makes it funny/sexy and not about flaying her))

I wonder if Oberyn will learn what had the whores so happy with Podrick.

---

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Well now I have to try and come up with something adequately amusing.

Imagine Oberin wanting to have a bit of revenge by having Podrick "die by snu snu", only for Podrick emerging from the whorehouse and thanking him

Click to shrink...

If Pod was a few years older at the first encounter, he'd be getting an invite to join Oberyn and Ellaria on a brothel run.

Reminds me of this piece of fucked up MHA hentai art....
[/spoiler]

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second warning scared me off.

Podrick,hero of Dorne and new,better dawid.Is it you,Emperor of Humankind ?
Jokes aside - if Oberyn take Sarella,Sam would meet perfect waifu,they are both bookworms.
Sports - wrestling,sumo or both would be popular.
Food - tarta with either fruits or meat.And kebab,maybe.

Click to shrink...

Pod's probably got an offer for land waiting for him and a knighting(maybe even a minor lordship somewhere) from Oberyn or Doran.

I'm pretty sure Sarella already left for Oldtown. Sam's answer will be coming soon.

Wrestling is going to be what the North insist on dominating. It's kind of already their sport in universe anyway.

 

[Psyckosama]

second warning scared me off.

Click to shrink...

It's actually rather hilarious. Just this isn't NSFW so I felt I needed to put in an access wall.

 

[Flightless Man]

Chapter 11: Take Me To The Rivers
Stannis​

"Now I don't want to embarrass any of you. So I'm going to be highlighting a flaw in each of us that we are all going to work on together." That gets nervous glances to start being exchanged between the trio of teens.

"I am not going to be able to shelter you from the world forever and it's best if we spend the time we do have..." I make eye contact with each of them for a solid five seconds before continuing. "Preparing you all."

"In what ways?" Brienne isn't frightened by the challenge and is intent on earning my respect.

None of them are really adept at the social skills, but they each have another area in dire need of improvement. "All of you need to get better at interactions with your peers." Each of them is heir of a respected house, with Samwell not being disinherited yet because of my intervention.

"I myself have learned how much... easier things are when you can take charge of a crowd." Robert and Renly are naturals at it, but I have to rely on years of drama class to do it even half as good. "Don't hide from yourselves because that will only make everyone else ignore you as a person of value."

"Samwell." The softest of the three gazes up at me with worry filling his face. "You can stay at Summerhall as one of my families household knights as long as you wish. But you need to earn your spurs yourself."

"How?" His eyes roam over his body with grim reality.

"He'll die without proper preparation and I'd like to have his services for years to come. "It's pointless to just shove a weapon in your hand, so we need to get you in better shape first."

Before my sentence is finished, Samwell is already shaking his head in denial. "I'll never be good enough."

"Well if that's how you feel, you really only have a few choices left." I'm not going to force him into anything, I just wanted to give him a chance that his father never did. "If knighthood's off the table, you better start learning some poetry."

"What ever for?" Interupts a very confused Gendry.

"If he can't stir a woman's loins with his body and skill in battle, Samwell needs to stir her heart with other talents." That shuts up my now blushing nephew. "Learning an instrument will help and learning how to dance is a must."

"That's it?" Samwell is in disbelief.

I almost laugh right in his face, but somehow manage to reign it in at the last second. "Oh heavens no Sam. You still need to care about your appearance and that means we're going to start running each morning." I think two miles a day will be a good start for the first week. "And you're going to be lifting weights with Gendry.

"... Oh." The groan from Samwell sounds exactly like me in high school and that does get an amused snort to escape.

"Sorry, but I feel the exact same way." I hate running nowhere, but Samwell isn't ready for much else. "You're also going to doing fifty push-ups and a hundred sit-ups each day. Those can be done at your own pace though."

"That doesn't sound too horrible." Admits the Tarly boy as nothing I listed is anywhere near as extreme as what his father insisted upon.

That makes me smirk like an evil older brother. "Good, because you also need find a house with a distinct lack of male heirs." His eyes widen and I have to silence him before he devolves into sputtering.

"Hush boy. You need to hear the truth about this." He can do what he wants, but he needs to be clear of the consequences each choice will bring. "You can't go back to Hornhill and you don't want to be a knight." Slowly Samwell nods at my blunt words. "So you need to seduce and marry a woman in a situation similar to Brienne here."

The girl with aspirations of knighthood jerks at my mention of her. "And you Lady Brienne..." I emphasize her actual title. "Need a husband who will let you fight. Not many of those and even fewer you would like."

"I know that Lord Stannis." She faces my stare with a firm expression of defiance. "Your best bet is an acknowledged bastard or a risen knight with a lack of land." And preferably someone with a desire to handle the more managerial side of running Tarth.

"You're also going to need to learn how to dance." She starts to protest and I bring out my trump card. "Just think of how much it will improve your footwork and stamina in a fight, while you ignore how silly you feel wearing a dress." I know it produces tangible results in athletes and I'm going to prove it works the same with a warrior.

"We shall have a little duel when before we leave the Peach. When I defeat you while I am wearing a dress and you your armour, you will not be allowed to train in plate until you return the favour." If Syrio Forel can kill a man with a wooden sword, Brienne can kill one while wearing a dress.

With a sigh my nephew reveals he is ready for his turn. "And what about me?"

"You have Houses to memorize, laws to learn, your letters need dire help, and you need to choose a weapon to start training with." It needs to look like I'm training you to replace me after all. "Oh, and then you need make friends with our neighbours while you start looking for a wife." You will have the easiest time of it, all things considered.

"Is that everything?" Gendry almost groans.

The teens are looking overwhelmed and far too gloomy to meet with Bella. "Yeah... I guess."

The next half an hour is spent in near silence and it's only when we can hear bells in the distance, that the teens start to perk up. Gendry straightens in his saddle and tries his best to flatten his hair before we arrive.

"Bella's a year older than Gendry?" Samwell draws my attention while Brienne helps my nephew look presentable.

"Correct." I hum in agreement. "And Mya is a couple years older than her."

"Are you going to make them learn all the stuff I need to?" Grunts Gendry, his eyes revealing how eager he is to share his torment.

"Bella will need to join you and Cressen for sure, but Mya might be more at Shireen's level." I'm not actually sure how educated my oldest niece really is.

Samwell interrupts with a confused voice to accompany his hand pointing forward. "Are those Lannister banners in front of Stoney Sept?"

Following his finger reveals the truth of his statement. I can count at least half a dozen men in red and gold armour waiting for someone and I have a suspicious feeling it's me.

"You lot stay a dozen feet behind me and get ready to ride straight for Riverrun." If Tywin is getting rid of me, I'm making sure Shireen survives. "If this goes bad, take my family to Winterfell."

Ignoring any arguments I kick my dark grey steed ahead of them and snarl back when the trio tries to catch up. They eventually follow my order and remain a safe distance away as I near the Lannister captain.

"Good afternoon to you. Might I ask what Lannister men are doing so far from home?" The man examines me and I vaguely recognize him as one of the red cloaks who serves in King's Landing.

"Lord Tyrion asked sent us to retrieve his niece." Explains the man I believe is from House Serret, the peacock on his shield only confirming it when he turns to face me. "He told me that you asked for her to join her cousins at Summerhall."

That clever little lion, using my own plan against me. "Of course Joy is welcome with us. But I don't think it wise to bring her to my destination here in Stoney Sept." A brothel is no place for a child and I Intend to offer all the ones at the Peach a different life.

 

[RichardWhereat]

And maybe have a little fun of his own.

 

[ATP]

Brienne - why not one of younger Kastarks?
Sam - maybe he should try mace or axe,if sword do not suit him? And if he wait,Joy would be good choice.Or Westerling girl.

How SI would explain,that he is dying running 2 miles per day and beating Brienne in armour wearing dress ?
Food - eclaires.I love them.

 

[Flightless Man]

And maybe have a little fun of his own.

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Well, only if Selyse is game.

Brienne - why not one of younger Kastarks?
Sam - maybe he should try mace or axe,if sword do not suit him? And if he wait,Joy would be good choice.Or Westerling girl.

How SI would explain,that he is dying running 2 miles per day and beating Brienne in armour wearing dress ?
Food - eclaires.I love them.

Click to shrink...

You've still missed the obvious on Brienne.
Sam's target will be revealed pretty soon.

He's running with sam. It will be more of a hike/jog for at least a year. Stannis will win with his sick dance moves and teach the whores a self defence class.

Food: I have been taking notes with every suggestion

 

[Flightless Man]

Chapter 12: Ask Your Father
Bella​

"Lord Baratheon," As soon as the well dressed man in my father's colours introduces himself, I drop to my knees with the rest of the women. "We are honoured to receive you." The matron is quick to grab my wrist and pull me before the balding Lord Stannis.

The resemblance is easy to see between us and I'm quite surprised by the three people with him. I thought he had a daughter, that's what his letter said.

"And I am thankful for how well you've been looking after my niece." My uncle's eyes lock onto mine and his wide toothy smile eases my nerves. "They have been treating you well?"

"The best they can," I defend the women who raised me with as much fierceness as I dare show. "I've never gone hungry or anything."

"Perfect." Claps Lord Stannis with relief shining in his clear blue eyes. "So I don't have to feel bad about offering everyone here a chance to move to Summerhall with us."

The boy who I know shares my blood looks shocked and interrupts. "You're going to have a brothel?"

I'm not sure why he's so shocked. Lords like whores.

"I need more performers and I think the women here would be excellent as the first dancers in a cabaret." The word means nothing to me and judging on the faces of the three teens, they are just as lost. "The girls who want a complete change of career... I can always use painters willing to make hundreds of the same little images."

"What for?" The pudgier boy tears his scorn filled eyes away from me. "You never talked about needing artist before Lord Stannis."

"Because I just thought of the idea Samwell," Admits my Lord Uncle with a mocking grin. "And to start with, I'll have them all start painting letters with Gendry, on small squares of wood."

His eyes are filled with wild ideas and it seems as if my uncle has forgotten all about us. "And once some of you can do that at a decent level, I'll start having them ink creatures onto playing cards."

He talks about a game where you make words from the jumbled letters and how the painted cards will be used in a strange form of magic. I had no idea my uncle was openly a wizard. Maybe he will teach me, If I serve him dutifully first.

"You must be my half sister, I'm Gendry." With an extended hand, the raven haired boy smiles at me nervously. "I'm glad I'm not the only one who decided to come live with our Uncle Stan."

"Are you a bastard too?" No point being sensitive, he's seen where I live.

He blushes and shakes his head back and forth. "I was a Waters until our uncle had me declared his heir."

"And now he and Edric are both Baratheons. As you will also be, once we leave here today Bella." The words echo in my head as I still can't really believe what's happening.

I used to dream my father would come bring me to the capital and declare me a princess to the world. But now that something so close is actually happening... I can't help but dread the bad luck that will follow. Good things don't happen to people like me.

"I am Brienne of Tarth and it's an honour to meet you Bella." The straw haired girl is nearly as big as my brother and I realize is wearing armour.

"Your just happy to finally not be the only girl in the group," My uncle snorts even as Lady Brienne ducks her head. "Not that I can really blame you. I did invite you with the promise of friends and Shireen is still a few years away from being your equal."

Samwell tries his own introduction, only to frown when he remembers his name was already given. "Uh... I'm Samwell Tarly and it's a pleasure to meet yo M'lady."

No one has ever called me that except in jest. But Samwells eyes shine with nothing but honesty, making my cheeks heat up against my will.

"I'm not a lady. I'm just Bella."

"Not once you walk out the door and I can just pretend we met outside instead." His offer has no hint of mocking, so I find it easier to just nod back at him softly in response.

Being given a chance at a fresh start is more than I've dared hope for in years. "That would be nice."

...

Jon Snow
​

Wearing new clothes that are nicer than anything I've ever owned, I wait in line with the rest of the Starks and Tullys. Though at the very end of the line of course. Lord Tully hasn't acknowledged my presence once, but neither has he done anything to make my stay at Riverrun horrible.

Learning that it was Lady Catelyn who asked my father for me to be given this honour was a shock. Though it made more sense when it was explained that Bran would be staying with his Uncle Edmure." It's better to keep bastards away from the true born and she finally had an excuse that my lord father would accept.

As Lord Baratheon and his escort file into the courtyard, I start to get lightheaded when I realize I cannot hide behind my status anymore. Arya and I are the reason he came. I'm going to judged in front of everyone.

"Greetings and welcome to my home Lord Stannis," Calls out Lord Tully from his place at the head of the line. "Please accept this offer of salt and bread, so we can discuss things inside like civilized people."

The bread I was given upon arrival was fresh but nothing special. The loaf prepared for today is something special. It looks like one of the fruitcakes that Lady Catelyn has prepared during the winter and now I finally know where the cooks learned the recipe.

"Look at her Jon!" Arya pulls on my arm as soon as she catches sight of a blonde woman in armour. "I thought Maester Luwin said that women couldn't be knights." She hisses in betrayal, seething beside me as the riders begin to dismount.

"I thank you for the offer of hospitality Lord Hoster," Lord Stannis calls over his shoulder as he makes a dash towards the carriage, pulling open the door for the ladies inside. "I present you daughter Lysa and grandson Robin in return."

The rest of the introductions pass by in a blur, until suddenly Lord Stannis is standing in front of me with a warm smile. "Nice to meet you Jon. I hope you aren't to upset at me for keeping you away from the Watch." Of course Father told him what my plans had been.

"I'm nothing but grateful M'lord." I never thought I could have a better life than the Wall, much less with Lady Catelyn encouraging me to take it.

"I hope you will be up for a round of golf in the morning Lord Stannis," Calls out Edmure Tully with a cocky smirk. "I'd like you to make sure we're playing correctly, before you give the instructions to the other kingdoms."

"Of course," Agrees the visiting Lord easily. "But do you have a squire, or do you need to borrow one of mine?"

That confuses Edmure and he's not afraid to reveal the fact. "What?"

"Your squire is an essential part of the game," Explains Lord Stannis as if it's obvious. "They decide which club you use for each shot."

"Oh." The Tully lord flushes in embarrassment. "I didn't think that part was important and haven't been using them when we train."

"That will get you disqualified from the Summerhall Games." My new Lord shakes his head in frustration. "I'll let you borrow Samwell this time. It'll let me and Jon here have a chance to bond with some friendly competition."

"I don't know how to play though Lord Stannis." I don't want to let my new Lord down so soon, but the truth now is better than embarrassment tomorrow.

The King's brother just chuckles and points a thumb at the boy who doesn't look related to him. "Neither does Sam. It's no big deal and we can go over the rules together once supper is over."

"Will you let me be your squire too?" Arya interrupts and I nearly groan in embarrassment.

Though to my surprise, Lord Stannis just smiles instead of getting mad. "I expect everyone of my wards to learn how to defend themselves. But I'm a little full on squires right now and I don't think you want to send your brother home, just to take his place."

"Could I be her squire instead?" Arya is nothing if not persistent, quickly pointing at the armoured woman instead.

"Lady Brienne is not a knight and she is armed because her Lord Father allows it." Corrects Lord Stannis with a calm voice. "Get permission from yours and you can train just as she does. And if either of you earn it, I'll knight you myself." He's careful to keep his voice low enough that neither Lady Catelyn or her father hear the offer.

Remembering one last thing that might change his mind, I sigh heavily. "Lord Stannis?"

"Yes Jon?"

"We have a couple wolves to bring with us." Ghost, Nymeria, and Summer are all in the kennels right now but I worry about how big they will get.

"You do mean dire wolves, correct?" He doesn't seem shocked or even slightly concerned.

"How did you know?" And why don't you care?

"Rumours are faster than horseback and I think every kid should have a pet." I didn't realize I said the last part out loud and feel my ears heat up with embarrassment.​

 

[ATP]

Edmure for Brienne ?

 

[Flightless Man]

Edmure for Brienne ?

Click to shrink...

You're getting closer.

 

[RichardWhereat]

You're getting closer.

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Edmure for Samwell?

 

[a guy1013]

You're getting closer.

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Jon to Brienne since Jon is legally a bastard

 

[Flightless Man]

Edmure for Samwell?

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I don't swap sexual orientation unless it's an AU/the sexuality was never confirmed one way or the other. Edmure could be gay, but Samwell is pretty clearly straight in the books/show. Lyanna and Brynden I think are both gay, but don't really have more than circumstantial evidence.

Jon to Brienne since Jon is legally a bastard

Click to shrink...

And Stannis doesn't have to lift a finger. Arya will do all the matchmaking herself, just so she can say Brienne is her sister.

 

[RichardWhereat]

I don't swap sexual orientation unless it's an AU/the sexuality was never confirmed one way or the other. Edmure could be gay, but Samwell is pretty clearly straight in the books/show. Lyanna and Brynden I think are both gay, but don't really have more than circumstantial evidence.

And Stannis doesn't have to lift a finger. Arya will do all the matchmaking herself, just so she can say Brienne is her sister.

Click to shrink...

Lyanna is gay? I have only seen that one a few times.

But my bet is Brienne and Samwell. Jon gets legitimised and Margaery.

 

[Flightless Man]

Lyanna is gay? I have only seen that one a few times.

But my bet is Brienne and Samwell. Jon gets legitimised and Margaery.

Click to shrink...

I always thought she and Dacey had a thing and that was why Lyanna Mormont was named after her. I'm not super invested on it, it was just my initial assumption when reading the series.

 

[Thedude1]

You know this something I needed to read genuinely. It's nice to see a genuinely good person who just want's to be happy. I've hoped into many stories seeing some mastermind with big plans and plots.

it's nice for me to read something light like this without worrying.

 

[Flightless Man]

Chapter 13: Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden
Stannis​

I watch Jon Snow pick himself up off the gently sloping hill and hesitate before the clubs. "What do we need to win this?"

It's been a tougher round than I expected, Edmure really does have an impressive long game. Knowing where the water traps are is also a plus, I'm down six strokes because of them.

Jon eventually hands me a two iron with a nervous expression. "I'm pretty sure this is the one you want Lord Stannis."

"Thanks Jon." I accept the club with a grateful nod and line up my final shot.

The ball sails through the air and vanishes through the trees, hopefully landing near the flag. "If you keep this up, we might even be able to compete in the games." It's not like I'm going to give Jon a choice in it, I need to take part in at least one event if I'm hosting.

I can tell Edmure has been trying to work up the nerve to say something all morning and I sigh in relief when he finally opens up. "I don't want to offend you in anyway Lord Stannis. But my sisters are very important to me and though they are concerned about your plans for Jon here..." The youngest Tully gives my new squire an apologetic look before shifting his eyes back to me. "They aren't going to press for answers."

"Lord Varys is excellent at his job." It's true, just not how I know what I do. "He let me know that it would only make things easier for everyone, if Jon doesn't come back to Winterfell-"

"What!" Roars the betrayed Jon, the hurt in his voice pulling on my heartstrings.

"...Until he has a new name and land of his own in the South." I return the furious stare with a calm one of my own, only letting a single eyebrow raise for emphasis. "To ensure Lady Catelyn no longer sees Jon as a threat to her children."

"...Uh." Guilt fills Edmure's voice as he avoids looking me in the eye for a while. "Yeah."

"So we're making an agreement as men." I place a hand on Jon's shoulder and turn him back around to face me. "The faster Jon earns his knighthood, the faster Catelyn can finally relax."

Edmure nods in agreement and awkwardly calls for Bran to get him a club. "Jon's a nice lad and everything, it's just..."

"I'm always going to be an insult." Growls the shame filled teen.

"That's true," I agree easily, seeing no reason to lie about the obvious. "But no matter how much you love your family, bastards all throughout history have been used to usurp families."

Jon starts to defend himself again, his face puffy and red with tears waiting to fall. "I'd never do that!"

"And I believe you, or I wouldn't have taken you as my squire." I return his gaze with an understanding one of my own. "But the rest of the world doesn't know that."

The boy bows his head and nods in acceptance of that, letting me continue with the embarrassing talk that could very well get me killed if Edmure so chooses. "I'm the King's trueborn brother and I've had those thoughts myself. So all this means is that you're in denial of desires that everyone has, or you're a better man than I am."

"I'm not better than you!" Jon is quick to deny what he thinks is a trap.

"Well it would seem we only have a few years to change that." Shaking my head in mock disapointment, I wink at Edmure to let him in on the game. "If I'm trusting you to serve my family long after I'm dead, I expect you to try to surpass me in as many ways as you can."

When he doesn't look anymore convinced, I shrug and admit what he's going to learn soon enough. "Samwell is already smarter than I am and Gendry takes after his father in the looks department."

Robin and Bran start to squabble once again over which club Edmure needs next and I try hard to contain my laughter. If the two would just stop trying to outdo each other, Edmure would have beaten me three holes ago.

"Why don't you care about us being bastards?" I can tell how hard it was for Jon to work up the nerve to ask and manage to avoid my normal flippant response.

"You should thank the Seaworths for that." I finally answer with a heavy sigh. "Ser Davos is the one who showed me it's not who you are born as that matters. It's the man you die as that the world will remember."

"But I don't even know who I was born as." The response is so pitiful, it nearly sounds like a whine.

"Well..." I trail off and watch Jon perk. "Lord Varys has a few theories about that. Would you like to hear them?"

He nods like a bobble head and I have to grab him before it rolls off. "If Ned Stark is your father, it's either by way of Ashara Dayne, the wet Nurse Wylla, or an unnamed woman from the Sisters."

"If?" Edmure notices that part, just like I had hoped he would.

"Samwell, take the boys and go find the balls." since I can't trust the two youngest to reveal the information in a way I want, I get them to clear out for the sensitive discussion. "We'll catch up in a moment!"

Once they're out of earshot, I turn back to Edmure and Jon with a blank face. "The Lannisters are already getting to take over once my brother's lifestyle ends in the obvious. What I'm about to say could end up with Houses Stark, Tully, and Baratheon, all in danger if revealed to anyone."

Lord Stark might not be your father..." Jon starts to panic when I speak, forcing me to squeeze his shoulder hard enough to get silence. "Even if you do share his blood."

"Brandon!" Gasps Edmure as he starts putting pieces together on his own. "... And Lady Ashara?"

"That's the preferable outcome." MY hard stare gets Edmure to think harder and his mouth forms an O when he finally does.

"No!" His eyes are glued to Jon now and I nod my head grimly. "If it's true, it's been kept secret for a very good reason."

Jon's not satisfied being the only one without a clue and he actually growls at me. "What are you talking about?"

"Who's the only other Stark who was in the South during the rebellion?" I snort back at the frustrated teen, waiting for him to connect the blatant clues. "And why is it a good idea, if we don't ever talk about this again?"

"... Oh." He finally understands and his entire face sinks with the weight of such an idea.

"Exactly." I watch Edmure's eyes soften as they lock onto Jon, but I'm forced to keep talking. "Your 'Father' had a good reason for the lie, if it really is one." I remind them neither Varys, nor myself has proof either way. "But if it is a lie, that would also make you my kin." Distantly I admit.

"I'm trying to put off a civil war. The easiest way I could think of, was setting up a power block in preparation." It worked against Aerys and I can only hope this will work against Cersei when it's required. "Your Father saw the sense in it once before and I hope you can convince him to again."

"How can you just let them kill your brother!" Jon is aghast when I admit why I've left the capital.

If that was the case, I'd be charging at Tywin with sword drawn. "Robert's killing himself with a life of excess and that's sadly every man's right."

I've already gotten word of Melisandre arriving on Dragonstone, with Joffrey quite eager to receive her as his servant. All I can do now is hope the lions and dragons tire themselves out before realizing I'm still alive.

I've gathered as many innocents as I dare and when winter comes, I'll just stick them on a ship with Davos. He'll make sure my family survives. If I can give everyone a fun time before I go, all the better.

 

[Flightless Man]

You know this something I needed to read genuinely. It's nice to see a genuinely good person who just want's to be happy. I've hoped into many stories seeing some mastermind with big plans and plots.

it's nice for me to read something light like this without worrying.

Click to shrink...

Thanks. I really needed to write something like this too. All this Stannis wants to do, is avoid the drama as much as he can. He thinks its game over once the Others come and so he's not trying to win the game, only enjoy it.

 

[NakedFury]

Devious. Sticking crazy with crazy in Melisandre and Joffrey.

Very quickly shit is going to spiral with that combo.

 

[Flightless Man]

Devious. Sticking crazy with crazy in Melisandre and Joffrey.

Very quickly shit is going to spiral with that combo.

Click to shrink...

I had a reason for wanting off of Dragonstone as fast as possible. I knew she had already left Volantis with the Prince of Dragonstone in her flames.

Should be all I need to let the Lannisters ruin themselves.

 

[Vanbers]

Devious. Sticking crazy with crazy in Melisandre and Joffrey.

Very quickly shit is going to spiral with that combo.

Click to shrink...

Plus, Varys has his whole... distaste for Magic thing. Which Melisandre would very much trigger, given his history of being sacrificed for Magic, and her being nearby and visible, and probably entirely capable of convincing a psychopath to sacrifice someone.

 

[ATP]

So,Lannisters would ruin themselves preferable without starting war,but Westeros still need King to fight Others.Well,you could leave this to Varys.
P.S Wjat about jam-rolls and cream cake? collar would do,too.

 

[Flightless Man]

Plus, Varys has his whole... distaste for Magic thing. Which Melisandre would very much trigger, given his history of being sacrificed for Magic, and her being nearby and visible, and probably entirely capable of convincing a psychopath to sacrifice someone.

Click to shrink...

Oh... I had actually overlooked that. That makes things easier.

Thanks for pointing this out.

So,Lannisters would ruin themselves preferable without starting war,but Westeros still need King to fight Others.Well,you could leave this to Varys.
P.S Wjat about jam-rolls and cream cake? collar would do,too.

Click to shrink...

Sugar is an issue, so Jam rolls is a reat idea.

 

[Flightless Man]

Chapter 14: Miniature Mischief
Shireen​

This year has been the most fun I've ever had and it's only going to get better once our new home is finished. It is sometimes hard to remember that I need to look sad sometimes. But Father explained why he's pretending he's dying and I can't let anyone else find out.

Only Mother, Davos, and Gendry know and I will not be the one to ruin the fun. Father and the Tullys need to discuss something very serious, so he's left it to Gendry and I to Mya until he's finished.

"And we only need to use the putters?" Asks the incredibly kind Samwell as he holds up the single club.

Father's new squire Jon, chimes in with a frown of his own. "That doesn't sound very challenging."

"Uncle Edmure made sure it will be," Corrects his brother Bran and I try hard not to blush when he hands me the next one. "He said one hole is inside a castle and another has a bunch of bridges we need to go around."

"If we only have one club, why do we need a... caddie?" My cousin Mya tries out the new word while Domeric Bolton covers his laugh with one hand.

"Because it will take forever for fourteen people to all play." And Mother said this would be a good way for us to make new friends. "That's why we need to team up. It's more fair if we go big and little for each team, so choose a partner you don't live with already."

To make sure Mya knows how excited I am to finally meet her, I grab her hand before anyone else reacts. Arya is only a second slower in choosing Brienne for herself, with Bran darting past me for the freshly knighted Domeric.

Gendry and Edric pair up next, taking advantage of the fact the brothers live in separate castles. Joy and Bella realize they are the only girls left and decide to team up as well. Robin is quite to choose Samwell, still believing his mother's words about worthy friends.

Seeing that everyone else has gotten a partner, Jon offers Devon Seaworth his hand with a warm grin. Father really did find me so many nice friends, just like he promised.

When Arya revealed that she intends to make her brother fall in love with Lady Brienne, I promised to help her from the other end. Though I don't think we need to do very much else.

Getting Ser Brynden to agree to train them in both in the morning was the easy part. Making sure both Jon and Brienne think it's a private lesson, that was the hard part.

If Arya is right, seeing Brienne in action will be all it takes for her brother to fall in love. I'm not so sure he's that easy to lead about, but she does know him best.

She was worried Bella might get in the way, since Arya says that my cousin is pretty like Sansa. But after Samwell's very obvious attempts to woo her, my new friend was able to relax. Since it looks like my other cousin is already just as taken with her own northern knight, Arya should be free to plot with no more surprises.

As I watch Gendry take the first shot, I hope he doesn't have to be alone for too long. Father wants him to find someone and I can't tell him to keep girls away from Summerhall just for Arya.

He hits the little white cork ball way too hard it sails right over the course the Tullys built for Bran and Robin. Friendly laughter follows from all of us and Gendry doesn't get mad like Joffrey would have. He just bows with a wide smile splitting his face and joins in.

"Well this is definitely going to be harder than I thought." He grabs a fresh yellow ball and explains once we stop giggling. "These balls go way farther than the ones we used on the full size course."

"Good to know," Arya struts up next and plops down her own white ball. "Thanks for testing it out for us."

Her hit actually has some control and it rolls into the long hollow tube. It curves the ball down to the little windmill, it's slowly spinning arms managing to knock away the ball.

"Argh!" The Stark girl hisses in frustration and gets out of the way. "Stupid wind."

Pretty soon I realize the game is a lot like Barathaball, with Mya responding well when I try to give her advice. She and Bella are going to be more like sisters than cousins, at least that was how Father explained.

...
Tyrion
​

It was a tension filled talk with Doran and his brother. But thankfully the still seething hatred of Oberyn Martell was soon directed away from my own head soon enough.

I'm not sure what he hopes to achieve by bringing his children to Summerhall, unless he just wants more chances to kill my squire. Whatever the boy did to the Sand Snakes, was more than enough to get the one called Tyene to inform me that Podrick was her man now.

The look in the young woman's eyes along with the very visible knives, was almost enough for me to agree with her. With a snort at the antics of the vicious Dornish teens, I realize that I know exactly what Arianne Martell wants out of the trip. Gendry Baratheon.

My own hope is for Edric to take a shine to Joy, so I can't even blame the Martells. So far our plans do not seem incompatible and I wonder if we might find a way to work together.

It's clear that Stannis is trying to ensure his family is part of a power block once he dies and as long as he doesn't intend to start anything... I will straddle both sides of my family for as long as it remains possible.

Getting Princess Arianne and Gendry paired off should be enough to get me some sway on my own plans for Joy. If that isn't, revealing how much of the missing gold has been found should hopefully tip the scales.

The waves rock the ship as we near Weeping Town, the largest Stormlands' port along the Sea of Dorne. As the storm increases in it's rage, I'm forced to hunker down and cling to the railing. If I try and go for the cabins below deck, I'll be blown right over board!

"Stannis better damn well appreciate this!" I roar into the wind and nearly jump out of my skin when I hear a response from right behind me.

"I thought you came on behest of your nephew?" Oberyn's Dornish accent is grating and I peer back with a frown. "Not the Lord Baratheon?"

"He's the reason I'm sailing into this gale!" I roar back with a very believable reason and hope he doesn't press any harder. "And not on my way back to King's Landing right now!" I might actually let something slip if he does, I'm having a hard enough time holding on for my life, let alone some secrets.

"Why haven't you called out for someone?" He asks with a shake of his head, right before he reaches out to grab my arm.

"I thought everyone was already down below," I admit with a growl. "Wasn't sure anyone could even hear me."

Oberyn is quick to snort, dismissing that idea immediately. "Podrick turned back around the moment we realize you hadn't made it and he's already halfway up the crow's nest looking for you."

I peer towards the mast and nearly scream in worry at the sight of Podrick slowly pulling himself up the rope ladder. I try to rush forward but the prince's hand holds me back.

"After seeing this..." He sounds contrite and I never expected to hear that tone from him. "I think I'll stop giving Tyene such a hard time. She and you both saw something I missed."

I only stop struggling when I see a pair of sailors start to ascend after my suicidal squire. "Thanks for coming for us."

"Your visit was enough to show me it's not the Lannisters as a whole who must die." He snarls and it's somehow even fiercer than the storm. "But I will kill your father and it will be justice." I can't actually deny that, not after my involvement in getting Father's signature.

If Oberyn will actually leave the rest of us be... I think I might just let him try.​

 

[ATP]

Podrick&Tyene,Jon&Brienne,Samwell&Bella,Gendry&Adrianne,Joy&Edric - all good ships.Devon and Domeric still need waifus,so....Mya for Devon,Arya for Domeric ?
Politics - Joeffrey would destroy his house prestige thanks to Melly,Varys take care of her,Tywin meet accident thanks to Oberyn...Westeros saved.
All we need is Ned letting wildlings/and giants/ come,preferable with surviving children.Others could stay for their side of Wall.
At that point,do not matter who would be King,Tommen ,Gendry,Jon or Faegon.

P.S i forget,that they have no sugar.Pity,many cakes need it,and honey is not always good as replacment.
You certainly could not made cream using honey instead of sugar.

 

[Draton]

Oberyn: "you seem a decent fellow, totally gonna kill your father though."

tyrion: "I am shockingly okay with that prospect"

 

[Flightless Man]

Chapter 15: We Are The Champions
Stannis​

Edmure was quick to speak with both Hoster and Catelyn once we finished the game yesterday and I was just as soon asked to speak with them both. Explaining my desperate need to keep things stable until the time is right was easier without Lysa's presence. If she had joined us, I would have had to curb my tongue when explaining Littlefinger's plotting.

Hoster's own illness helped in gaining sympathy for my plans to give my daughter a secure future. It's the reason he wanted to continue the talks today, with the rest of his family present for input. And I need to remember to be careful about how I speak of Baelish.

"Edmure only really has a few acceptable choices." Catelyn agrees with me as we take our lunch near the river and the children playing around the bend. "Lord Stannis is correct. If my we wish Edmure to bring in a useful ally, it's either Arianne Martell, Margaery Tyrell, or Asha Greyjoy." I try to keep a straight face at how clearly she dislikes the last choice.

"He could try marrying into one of the more influential Westerland houses." My face wrinkles in thought as I try and avoid steering the entire conversation. "Maybe try and split some of the houses in favour of you, if it comes to that?"

Excited laughter gets louder and it's clear the children have finally finished the game. The parade is still out of easy listening range, but we agree to put the talks on hold anyway.

"Who won?" Eager to avoid talks of his own betrothal, Edmure is fast at turning everyone towards the golfers.

"The girls did Lord Stannis," Admits an only slightly embarrassed Jon. "They took first, second, and third place."

"And why didn't I hear any singing?" I adopt a mock scowl as I gaze down at Shireen.

She sees right through it and rolls her eyes. "I didn't think you really meant it."

"Well I do." Selyse adds with barely concealed glee. "So you better tell your friends the words and fast."

With a huff of embarrassment, Shireen does so and brings the other girls to the side for a huddle. But Davos worries it's going to be like when he got caught by his wife, singing 'Fat Bottom Girls'.

"M'lord, are you sure this is wise?" He gives the beaten boys a worried look.

"Don't worry Davos, these young men are all honourable like a true knight." The seven boys perk up proudly at my claim. "They aren't going to let a little bit of harmless japing sour the good mood." I turn my gaze just a little bit harder as I peer into each boy's eyes one after the other. "Right?"

The bobbing heads are enough to satisfy me and I soften my face back to a half smile. "Good. Now just enjoy the song, I did write it myself after all." In French and everything, even if I am definitely not the one who created the masterpiece.

"You're becoming quite the entertainer." Chuckles the Tully heir as a cloud of flies try to get at his wine. "You should ask the King to name you his Master of Games."

"I'm trying to spend more time with my family, not less." I remind him tersely before looking at the now ready girls. "You teach them the words already?"

"The first verse and the chorus," Shireen agrees with a rapidly reddening face.

"Whenever you're ready." I start to whistle the tune for them and grin at how excited Arya seems to be.

My blushing daughter swallows her nerves and starts to lead the song. But half a beat too soon, Arya turns a teasing smirk towards her brothers and screams the next line early.

"And those guys are losers!" That only lights a fire in Bran's eyes and I know the boys are not going to let this defeat stand.

"No we aren't!" Wails a distraught Robin. "Gendry and Edric had the lowest score."

Hissing in frustration, Edric is quick to lay the blame at his half brother's feet. "Gendry's the one who kept losing his balls!" The younger Baratheon turns his glaring blue eyes onto his elder. "He kept whacking them so hard, one of them even burst apart!"

"I believe we're going to be seeing a lot of each other over the next few years." Snorts Edmure as his squires start talking about practising for next time.

"We have more important matters to discuss right now I'm afraid." Changing the subject with a stern motherly tone, Catelyn holds up the bowl mixed with strawberries and peers at me. "My eldest daughter Sansa, she would love this yogourt you brought. What will it take for you to give our cooks the recipe?"

Watching Bran chase my laughing daughter around with a frog, I point at them with my nose. "Just let your Lord Husband know that the match has my approval." Keeping his eyes on South of the Neck, should might even keep him walking around for years to come. "I intend to have her betrothal secured well before I face my end. And I haven't met many lads, that I would rather my little girl end up with."

"I will be sure to discuss it with him." She appears intrigued and so I ease off for now.

"What does your Ned intend to do about the increase in Wildling raids?" Her uncle cuts in gruffly. "The He hasn't been able to push the news from his mind, not once in the three days since he was told.

"Ned's going to the Wall once I return." The proud woman clearly doesn't want me to think my help wasted and is being careful with her words. "My husband needs to speak with the Lord Commander himself, before he decides on anything rash."

"Maybe I should go with you." Brynden strokes his chin in consideration, even as Hoster's eyes simmer with anger. "I'm not needed around here for a while." He doesn't need to be Lysa's tether to her childhood anymore and Robin has a new uncle to fawn over.

"Only three days and you already want to leave again?" The growl from Lord Tully contains more rage than I knew he could still muster. "Is my hospitality that terrible?"

"I thought hearing how Stannis here was able to put aside his own pride and apologize would have inspired you." Brynden looks away from his brother and sighs harshly. "But I should have known better. Just like a trout can't choose it's stream, us Tullys can't choose who we resent."

"Ain't that the truth." Jon mutters under his breath quietly enough, that I believe no other adult heard.

"Is that all you want, an apology?" Hoster shocks us all by taking a moment to calm himself. "Because if that's the price to have my brother back, I'll gladly pay it a thousand times."

He stands up and waits for Brynden to do the same, only speaking again once they share nearly a minute of silence. "I'm sorry Brynden."

"Do you really mean that Hoster?" The Blackfish sounds a little choked up and it's even easier to see his hands shaking at his sides.

"I was scared the rebellion was far from over and thought marrying you off was necessary to our survival." He shrugs at that comment and even chuckles a little bit. "Seems I was quite wrong about that. We did just fine."

 

[Flightless Man]

Podrick&Tyene,Jon&Brienne,Samwell&Bella,Gendry&Adrianne,Joy&Edric - all good ships.Devon and Domeric still need waifus,so....Mya for Devon,Arya for Domeric ?
Politics - Joeffrey would destroy his house prestige thanks to Melly,Varys take care of her,Tywin meet accident thanks to Oberyn...Westeros saved.
All we need is Ned letting wildlings/and giants/ come,preferable with surviving children.Others could stay for their side of Wall.
At that point,do not matter who would be King,Tommen ,Gendry,Jon or Faegon.

P.S i forget,that they have no sugar.Pity,many cakes need it,and honey is not always good as replacment.
You certainly could not made cream using honey instead of sugar.

Click to shrink...

On Gendry/Arianne and Joy/Edric, I revealed both plans at the same time, because only one will work out. And switch around the Devon and Domeric pairings. Mya is about the same age as Dom and Arya is about the same age as Devon.

Joffrey and Melisandre will do most of the work for Stannis. He really can just duck his head and play games until the Targs return.

Oberyn: "you seem a decent fellow, totally gonna kill your father though."

tyrion: "I am shockingly okay with that prospect"

Click to shrink...

Tyrion knows exactly why Oberyn feels that way and finds this the best outcome. Oberyn thinks he's being nice and is just trying to get Tyrion to calm down for the rest of the trip.

 

[James Wilt]

I just hope that Tommen and Myrcella can be sequestered away from King's Landing before Joffery decides that they would make good sacrifices to the Lord of Light...