Bride of OverMaster's Crummy Corner of Fanfiction

[OverMaster]

Smoking.

"Oh, no! Peacock just put on The Mask (TM)!"

"...!"

"..."

"Nothing actually changed at all."

"Oh, I wouldn't say about that, I don't think the Medicis would've blown up into THAT many pieces before."

 

[OverMaster]

Rei Doesn't Want to Communicate.

"I don't think this is gonna work," Najimi said as they approached her.

"Neither do I, but we've gotta try," Hitohito said. While Najimi kept the trembling Komi in place, Tadano smiled nervously at the blue haired, red eyed pale girl. "H-Hey, Ayanami-san. Do you want to be Komi's friend?"

"..." Rei said.

She looked at Komi.

Komi trembled. "...!?"

Rei pulled a cellphone out and made a call. "Commander. Komi Shouko wants to be friends with me."

"What," Tadano said.

Rei nodded slowly while the other three waited. She pocketed the phone back. "Yes," she said.

"Seriously?" Tadano said.

"Yes."

The boy laughed shakily. "Oh, oh, that's good! So, um..."

"What does a friend of Komi do?" Rei asked.

"Dodging attacks from Yamai Ren, mostly," Najimi said.

Rei ducked under a flying knife with the expertise of an Evangelion pilot. "Within my possibilities."

With wide round eyes, Komi hopped in happiness.

 

[OverMaster]

Patching Things Up.

Heidern, Shikinami Asuka, Nick Fury, Xander Harris, Aizen Sousuke and Jubei-chan stood on the deck of a pirate ship.

"This is a stupid idea," Asuka said eventually.

 

[OverMaster]

Punch Punch Uh Oh!

Ryu turned away from the defeated Rufus. "You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance," he said stoically.

Rufus groaned. "Awright... Where do I find this Sheng Long guy then? He your Master or sumthing?"

"No, my Master is Gouken."

"And where do I find him?"

"You don't! He's dead!" Ryu said.

Gouken walked by. "Hi, Ryu."

"Hi, Master," Ryu said politely. He turned back to Rufus. "Anyway, if you didn't defeat me, how would you defeat my Master?"

"Because he'd be old frail and weak now?"

"No!"

"Then who is this Sheng Long guy!?"

"Nobody!"

"You were making stuff up just to troll me!?"

"No! Sheng Long is my Flying Dragon Fist!"

"You name your body parts? You're weird!"

"No! I mean my Flying Dragon Punch!"

"Then why didn't you call it 'the Sheng Long '? By saying 'You must defeat Sheng Long you make it sound like a person!"

"I don't know!"

They looked at each other silently.

"Does Ken Masters also have a Sheng Long?"

"Yes!"

"Your fist or your Master?"

"It's not my Master or my fist, it's my punch! Even Dan gets this straight easily!"

"Your other fist is called Dan?"

"Aaaaahhhh!"

"Or is Dan another Master of yours?"

"Aaaaahhhh!"

Midnight Bliss.

Iroha and Morrigan pulled the Tatsuru No Mai and the Eternal Slumber on each other at the same time.

At the sidelines, Galford blinked. "I'm so glad I could see this...!"

Iron Man nodded absently. "Jarvis, recording the whole procedure..."

"Get copies ready, please," Charlotte said, looking intently.

Sakura, who was not interested on the moaning nude scene, lifted an eyebrow at Charlotte.

"I'm French, we're naturally horny," Charlotte replied with dignity.

 

[OverMaster]

Slowpoke.

He proudly took one of the figurines out of its box, showing it to Nick and Judy.

"I have... Heavily invested in this... Newest sensation... Taking the world by storm... I'll make millions... Funko Pops."

Nick winced. "Flash, everyone's already fed up of those and they lost all value."

Flash lost his smile very slowly, then dropped his shoulders even slower.

"Dammit. It happened again."

 

[OverMaster]

Releasing the Files.

The president shook his fist around. "Make America great again! This is our Hemisphere! Any country challenging us will be taught--"

The screens behind him all began showing him having sex with very young girls.

The gathered press paled as a single person.

The president frowned. "What's with those expressions, people?"

----

Chisame smiled and folded her arms behind her neck, leaning back on the chair and looking at her computer screen.

Kakizaki was biting on her knuckles. "All of my favorite Hollywood stars...! Even Dad's! And Grandpa's! Ew. So many liver spots!"

"That's why I stick to anime," Haruna said.

 

[OverMaster]

For Better or Horse.

The brown haired young lady smiled cutely.

"Hello, I'm Special Week, an Umamusume! I'll be studying with you, please be patient with me, ha ha!"

Chisame's glasses slipped down her nose. "What, now mares too!?"

"We gotta stay relevant, even OM doesn't write Unequally anymore!" Asuna said.

-----

"-- and the winner of the Grand Derby is Kasuga Misora!" the announcer shouted. The audience cheered, Kasuga held the golden cup up, laughing.

"What the hell, she isn't even an Umamusume!" El Condor Pasa protested.

"This is your fault," Gold Ship told Special Week.

"Oh, sure! Blame me now when you were the one who began daring her!"

Negima still didn't regain any relevance anyway.

 

[OverMaster]

Trans Magia.

Loco Musica and Leberblume went into the meeting room.

Utena was sitting at the head of the table, huddled with hugged knees, trembling violently.

"Now whaaaaat?" Loco said. "Puni Puni Poemi again?"

Kiwi shook her head. "No. Someone called a Kampfer."

"I've heard about those. What about that? They're nothing special," Nemo said.

"She transformed back as soon as Utena began spanking, and..."

Somewhere else Natsuru was sitting on his bed, huddled with hugged knees, trembling violently.

"It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't stripped me before..!" he told Disemboweled Tiger.

 

[OverMaster]

One Piece Goes to the Movies.

"That was an awful biography," Luffy said as the Straw Hats left the cinema. "Not only they got the story wrong but the actress doesn't even look the part, she looks like a dude!"

"That's a different Hancock, how many times do we need to tell you!" Nami yelled at him.

 

[OverMaster]

Home Alone versus Predator.

When Kevin's mom finally made it home, she found half of the house destroyed and Kevin sitting smiling proudly by the fireplace, with the head of an alien hanging on it.

"... I'm not asking," she decided for the sake of her sanity.