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Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

This HoR fails reading and is clearly not up to his own exacting standards. Sleep time now, clever time in morning.

...Wait a minute, how the hell did Menka get away from Uchiha Itachi? He must have been really distracted to have not nailed down Menka.

And Liam may have it. D'oh.
 
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^_^; There were more references to Menka in the original draft, but I didn't want to make it too stupidly easy to figure out the loophole. I guess I went too far in the other direction.

As for how he got away, Itachi was a little too preoccupied with the sudden unexpected seizure you were having to care about a cat that behaved exactly like a normal cat under those circumstances by running the fuck away.

One of the things covered by that roll I had Black-Helm do was which way Menka's fight or flight response would fall, and being a cat, who in nature and this quest only pick fights they think they might be able to win, a 4 was enough of a success for him to feel the crushing guilt of abandoning you, but not a strong enough one for him to stupidly take the initiative and attack an S-ranker. Menka's tough, but on his best day he's like chuunin/special-jounin-with-a-sword-focus in terms of fighting ability. Itachi would've cut through him like rice paper.
 
[X] What was Weasel saying when he put the whammy on me?

Although if Sasuke hears the complete unvarnished truth, this could seriously screw with his head.
 
Hymn of Ragnarok said:
[X] What was Weasel saying when he put the whammy on me?

Although if Sasuke hears the complete unvarnished truth, this could seriously screw with his head.
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Is that such a bad thing however? I mean, we're already deviating from canon.. And a less moody and broody Sasuke, is a better Sasuke.
 
[X] What was Weasel saying when he put the whammy on me?

Yeah, this is likely to BSoD Sasuke, but better he hears it now than after he has time to really get his hate on.

Really, anything is an improvement over hearing it from MadaTobiBito. At least I think that's what happened in canon. I kinda stopped reading before then.
 
[X] The Red String

For a moment you consider asking Sasuke to leave, but the thought is dismissed almost as quickly as it arrives. He has a right to know as much as you do. Hell, you wouldn't have ended up in the hospital if you weren't friends with him, right? He should know why.

"Menka, what did Itachi say to me before I passed out?"

Sasuke's hands ball into fists involuntarily.

Menka growls. "I never trusted that fucking creep."

He takes a deep breath before continuing.

"You asked him, I dunno if you remember, but you asked him how to deal with the fact that you were sad about Shisui's death."

Sasuke looks surprised, but you nod. "I remember. What did he say after that?"

Menka glances at Sasuke, then looks back at you. "He said, 'Please, I beg of you, look after my brother-'"

"LIAR!" Sasuke roars, lunging for the cat.

You shield Menka with your body. "No! Sasuke, he's telling the truth!" you plead as he tries to pry Menka out of your arms. "That actually happened. It's the last thing I remember before waking up."

Eventually, sweaty and panting, Sasuke gives up his assault, but not before leaving long scratch marks on your arms. You really hope they fade before Dad visits again; he's been sympathetic to Sasuke up to now, but if he thinks the kid's hurting you he might change his mind.

"Why?" he asks, voice shaking. "Why would he ask you to do that?"

"Maybe we should hear the rest of what he said before we ask that," you say, sitting up and stroking Menka's fur to calm him. "Go on, man, what else did he say?"

Menka shivers. "I don't know if I should, Ino."

"The doctors said I've been put under some kind of long-term genjutsu," you tell him, petting his tail like he likes. "If I'm going to get rid of it, I need to know what he said to me."

Menka closes his eyes.

"'Please, I beg of you, look after my brother. And when the time comes... die by his hand.'"

The only sound in the room is an echo of laughter from the nurses' lounge down the hall.






[X] Write In (Like a Thief)
 
DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!

I am actually surprised.

It's motivating my own writing!
 
[X]Nurse, he attacked me! Look at those scratches!
-[X] Wha-, stop bullying my cat! I meant the Uchiha! Get him away from me!
 
[x]Now... That is... I don't even know what to say, really. Any idea why he would say something like this, Sakkun? I mean, besides having had a psychotic break? Usually insanity has patterns in it, and by understanding those patterns, we'll come closer to truth.
 
*jaw drops*

That's....holy shit I did not see that coming.

Itachi set us up to activate Sasuke's Mangekyou?!
 
Hymn of Ragnarok said:
*jaw drops*

That's....holy shit I did not see that coming.

Itachi set us up to activate Sasuke's Mangekyou?!
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Well, if he was willing to kill his entire extended family for Sasuke, and go on the run for Sasuke, and slowly die far from everything he's ever loved (which is apparently just Sasuke) for Sasuke... he can set up Sasuke to kill an innocent girl who has lived a blameless life and is Sasuke's best friend for Sasuke.

Hm... at some point, I think Itachi has failed to think this through.
 
Hymn of Ragnarok said:
*jaw drops*

That's....holy shit I did not see that coming.

Itachi set us up to activate Sasuke's Mangekyou?!
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Click to shrink...
Makes sense if you think about it; in canon the person he was closest to was Itachi, even Naruto never evoked the raw emotion that Itachi did for Sasuke, and even in the end he still loved his brother. Canon Sasuke had no one except the psycho that killed his family; hence Itachi dying for his Mangekyou.

Here we have us being Sasuke's closest and arguably only friend. Here the betrayal will be tempered by our existence as a support to Sasuke. Here killing Itachi won't have the same impact as in canon, which means no Mangekyou. Which means no ace in the hole for Tobi/Obito; the main reason Itachi wanted Sasuke to have the Mangekyou. Since Itachi only cares about his little brother, we're expendable resources for his plan.
 
Guile said:
Well, if he was willing to kill his entire extended family for Sasuke, and go on the run for Sasuke, and slowly die far from everything he's ever loved (which is apparently just Sasuke) for Sasuke... he can set up Sasuke to kill an innocent girl who has lived a blameless life and is Sasuke's best friend for Sasuke.

Hm... at some point, I think Itachi has failed to think this through.
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Story of his life.
Now let's try to ensure it doesn't backfire as badly as it did in canon.
 
[X]Now... That is... I don't even know what to say, really. Any idea why he would say something like this, Sakkun? I mean, besides having had a psychotic break? Usually insanity has patterns in it, and by understanding those patterns, we'll come closer to truth.

also FurikoMaru you forgot to add the visitor snip to the archive thread.
 
EnderofWorlds said:
Makes sense if you think about it; in canon the person he was closest to was Itachi, even Naruto never evoked the raw emotion that Itachi did for Sasuke, and even in the end he still loved his brother. Canon Sasuke had no one except the psycho that killed his family; hence Itachi dying for his Mangekyou.

Here we have us being Sasuke's closest and arguably only friend. Here the betrayal will be tempered by our existence as a support to Sasuke. Here killing Itachi won't have the same impact as in canon, which means no Mangekyou. Which means no ace in the hole for Tobi/Obito; the main reason Itachi wanted Sasuke to have the Mangekyou. Since Itachi only cares about his little brother, we're expendable resources for his plan.
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Yeah, that makes sense. In a very twisted sort of way. Clearly we need to purge this command from our minds.

So. Big moment here, and what we do should not focus on us. Sasuke, knowing this, is going to want to stay the hell away from us so that he does not kill us. Do we let him go or try and hold him close?

Hmmm....

[X] "That....that insane, sadistic, misbegotten scumbag friend murdering piece of shit!"
[X] Grab Sasuke by his shirt.
[X] "We are not putting up with this bullshit. Itachi's stolen my peace of mind but he sure as hell won't be stealing my friend. You and me, we aren't playing this bastard's game. I am going to learn how to get that fucking command out of my head, and then I'm gonna do it to you if you've got any." A beat. "Well...if you'll let me. Annnnnnnnd if my family can't do it themselves right now. But seriously, fuck that asshole sideways with an ant covered stick! And his little scheme too!"
 
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Wow, very nice. I guess forewarned is forearmed huh? I'd like a vote that involves Sakkun a bit more and isn't so enthusiastic but I'm not really lucid enough to write one atm. For now...

[x]Plan Hymn

I mean we just told him that his brother still loves him but wants him to murder us. Cursing at his general asshole-ness isn't exactly suave you know?
 
[X] "That....that insane, sadistic, misbegotten scumbag friend murdering piece of shit!"
[X] Grab Sasuke by his shirt.
[X] "We are not putting up with this bullshit. Itachi's stolen my peace of mind but he sure as hell won't be stealing my friend. You and me, we aren't playing this bastard's game. I am going to learn how to get that fucking command out of my head, and then I'm gonna do it to you if you've got any." A beat. "Well...if you'll let me. Annnnnnnnd if my family can't do it themselves right now. But seriously, fuck that asshole sideways with an ant covered stick! And his little scheme too!"
 
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Ah damn, I did forget to address Itachi apparently still caring about Sasuke in my write-in. But honestly, being pissed about him setting us up like this seems to take precedence, and we need to jump on Sasuke before he decides he needs to stay away for our benefit.

And seriously, how are we supposed to take this? We do not have the knowledge needed for Itachi's motives to make any sense at all. Writing him off as insane and pouncing on Sasuke seem appropriate. Plus potty mouth.




EDIT: Annnnnnnnnnd it occurs to me that Sasuke may not be willing to jump on board with us here all the way. Hngh. Thoughts, suggestions?
 
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Actually, I may have a better idea. How's this? Trying not to get too verbose, but I am trying to mitigate jumping to conclusions and getting Sasuke on our side. And including Menka.


[X] "That....that insane, sadistic, misbegotten scumbag friend murdering piece of-"
[X] No. No, you are not going to jump to conclusions yet, even if it would be oh so very satisfying Grab Sasuke by his shirt, and make sure Menka doesn't leave either. We are glad he shared this with us because now we can start working on fixing this mess.
[X] "I do not know what was going though your brother's head, because this is completely insane. It makes no god damn sense! So either Itachi really is a functional lunatic or he knows a lot of things we don't. I don't know, and right now I do not care because there are more important things at stake. You and me? We are not putting up with this bullshit. Itachi's stolen my peace of mind but he sure as hell won't be stealing my friend. We aren't playing this bastard's game. I am going to learn how to get that fucking command out of my head, and then I'm gonna do it to you if you've got any." A beat. "Well...if you'll let me. Annnnnnnnd if my family can't do it themselves right now."
[X] "But seriously, fuck that asshole sideways with an ant covered stick! And his little scheme too! I may not know what he's up to, but if it involves putting our minds through hell and letting my friend kill me and having him hate himself for the rest of his life, then I'm not playing! And I'm sure as hell not going to lose anything else just because feels like using us as pawns!"
 
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[X] Hymn's plan.

Just need to convince Sasuke that Itachi wants to ruin his life and maybe make him go missing-nin as well. Because seriously, killing a clan heir? Either you've got a cool eye power or you're backed by a village.

Kinda obvious which one is more useful. Outside of a shōnen manga at least.

If we take this far enough and make Sasuke paranoid, then when he finally finds out about the mangekyou, his response could be something like:

"Aha! Yet another plan by my brother to make me kill Ino. He obviously modified the shrine before he left / convinced you to help fool me. I'll not fall for this."
 
Oooh, better.

[x] Plan Hymn Mk.2

There's actually a pretty nifty little piece of plot that someone in the Paranoia! thread over on SB brought up. Itachi's "live in an unsightly manner" line is actually a reference to a historical japanese samurai drama piece. I'll have to look up the post again, but Kishimoto actually threw it in there to give readers outside of his targeted age bracket a big hint about Itachi's loyalties.

Of course the board decides to take a face dive the moment I try looking for it. Sigh.
 
[X] "That....that insane, sadistic, misbegotten scumbag friend murdering piece of-"
[X] No. No, you are not going to jump to conclusions yet, even if it would be oh so very satisfying Grab Sasuke by his shirt, and make sure Menka doesn't leave either. We are glad he shared this with us because now we can start working on fixing this mess.
[X] "I do not know what was going though your brother's head, because this is completely insane. It makes no god damn sense! So either Itachi really is a functional lunatic or he knows a lot of things we don't. I don't know, and right now I do not care because there are more important things at stake. You and me? We are not putting up with this bullshit. Itachi's stolen my peace of mind but he sure as hell won't be stealing my friend. We aren't playing this bastard's game. I am going to learn how to get that fucking command out of my head, and then I'm gonna do it to you if you've got any." A beat. "Well...if you'll let me. Annnnnnnnd if my family can't do it themselves right now."
[X] "But seriously, fuck that asshole sideways with an ant covered stick! And his little scheme too! I may not know what he's up to, but if it involves putting our minds through hell and letting my friend kill me and having him hate himself for the rest of his life, then I'm not playing! And I'm sure as hell not going to lose anything else just because feels like using us as pawns!"
 
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Its about those guys http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forty-seven_Ronin
 
Jans said:
Oooh, better.

[x] Plan Hymn Mk.2

There's actually a pretty nifty little piece of plot that someone in the Paranoia! thread over on SB brought up. Itachi's "live in an unsightly manner" line is actually a reference to a historical japanese samurai drama piece. I'll have to look up the post again, but Kishimoto actually threw it in there to give readers outside of his targeted age bracket a big hint about Itachi's loyalties.

Of course the board decides to take a face dive the moment I try looking for it. Sigh.
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I remember that, but I think bringing it up would be a little too meta. Also, Sasuke is definitely not in the state of mind to believe us.
 
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I'm ruling that the story of the 47 Ronin shouldn't exist in a recognizable form in a world where Japan doesn't exist. It suits Paranoia, because noticing stuff is what that story's all about, but I don't think a well-known story of loyalty is exactly a good place to mine for things to say to the brother you're trying to make hate you forever.

Also, Orochimaru's Kusanagi is not the real Kusanagi, but given there are at least two forgeries running around the real world that shouldn't break anyone's heart too badly.
 
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