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Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[X] What's Goin' On

"... owowowowowow..." The young man stumbles off, blowing on his fingers and shaking them.

"Indeed not, Onihige-san, which is why I shall permit you to keep your tongue. From what I've seen here, teaching is not your true profession; confidence trickery is."

You frown indignantly. Hey, don't lump me in with some big-mouth bandit!

"Consider it a wedding present to your old friend's daughter," Nabiki goes on.

"Oh, is milady getting married? They grow up so fast! I'm sure you'll bring much happiness to your husband and honour to his household!"

"And I am sure you would not do anything so inauspicious as to deny a bride her request," she says sweetly. "You know what dreadful bad luck that is."

"... I do...?" :(

"Good. I'm glad we could come to an agreement."

And with that, Onihige wobbles off, supported by two of his students, the other young men Nabiki beat up stumbling after him.

"Very nicely done, Nabiki-san," Asuma remarks.

"Thank you, Asuma-san," she says breezily.

She climbs back into the carriage, a very old scroll tucked under one arm.

"Would you be so kind as to hold this?" she asks, leaning it in your direction as she cups her free hand under the blood dripping from her baseball bat. "I need to get tidied up."

"All right, now I really don't understand," you say, obligingly taking the scroll. "How exactly is what you just did not shinobi-like behaviour?"

"Those men were criminals, Yamanaka-chan," she says, wiping down the weapon with a rag.

You flinch. "Don't call me Yamanaka-chan."

"Would you prefer I do the same as you and label you an idiot without knowing anything about you?" she asks.

"Ninja get hired to take out bandits all the time," you point out.

Nabiki grants you a sidelong glance. "And how often do they leave them alive?"

"I would call that a point in our favour, actually," you reply. "Kind of hard for them to assault innocent civilians when they're dead."

"Yes," she says coolly, pouring a jug of scented water over her hands into a basin, "you wouldn't want them to put you out of work, now, would you?"

[X] Write-in (Like A Thief)
 
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[X] "If a ninja's livelihood is assaulting innocent civilians, A. they're an asshole, B. they're a crappy ninja, and C. a good ninja is probably going to make a paycheck off of their ass."
 
[X] Roll eyes. "You don't think much of me, do you Nabiki-chan, calling me a bandit. And my dad a bandit, I guess. And my friends, and half the people I know. I don't lump you in with Lord Morono, or those ronin jerks that go around selling their swords to guys like Gato."
This is particularly amusing given Yamcha was called the Desert Bandit.
 
[X] Putting out fire with gasoline (aka Guile's write-in)

"Do shinobi deserve more of my respect because they are better at committing murder?" she asks, unflinching.

"If a ninja's livelihood is assaulting innocent people, A. they're an asshole, B. they're a crappy ninja, and C. a good ninja is probably going to make a paycheque off of their ass," you say matter-of-factly.

And that's about when your heart squeezes in on itself.

The last time you saw that expression, it was on Chouji's face.

But she doesn't say anything. She dries her hands, puts the bat god knows where, and goes to her luggage. Opening a small trunk, she takes the scroll from you silently and places it inside, pulling out a book as she does so. With that, she resumes her seat, and is soon immersed in something called Brokedown Palace.

"Hey, there's no reason to pout," you say.

"I'm not pouting, Yamanaka-chan," Nabiki says calmly. "I'm reading."

[X] What do?
 
Social Link Broken

Well done everyone.
 
That's Hymn's write-in, not Guile's. Nobody but Hymn voted for that.
 
To specify, THIS was the winning write in-
[X] Roll eyes. "You don't think much of me, do you Nabiki-chan, calling me a bandit. And my dad a bandit, I guess. And my friends, and half the people I know. I don't lump you in with Lord Morono, or those ronin jerks that go around selling their swords to guys like Gato."

Not this-
[X] "If a ninja's livelihood is assaulting innocent civilians, A. they're an asshole, B. they're a crappy ninja, and C. a good ninja is probably going to make a paycheck off of their ass."
 
Yeah, I mushed both write-ins together because separately they would have received similar results anyway. I just dislike copy-pasting other people's dialogue to serve as a title.

Jiven said:
Social Link Broken

Well done everyone.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Yare yare dawa, you give up so easily.
 
[X] Pout. Wait, we're not pouting. This is a tactical withdrawal, because she's being dumb!
 
[ ] "Just reading, huh? Alright, fine. Guess I'll be talking to myself then."
[ ] "It really pisses me off when people lump me, my friends, and my family with the worst examples of shinobi. Or, I dunno, martial artists who go around picking fights every chance they get. No one's ever going to call us saints or anything close, but there's one bad apple spoiling the barrel, and then there's taking shit for the crimes of someone else. Could accuse monks of setting on their asses all day doing nothing, but my sensei was a monk and he's a pretty decent guy. Even if he doesn't let me have his cigs. You gonna accuse him of mauling innocent civilians too? Hell, shinobi get weaned doing community service."
[ ] "I can't really blame people for being suspicious of us. And if some people dislike us for killing, fine. I prefer avoiding violent conflict altogether myself, but I can't say I don't believe that the world would be a better place if some people were dead. It's not something to be done lightly though, and I'd like people to not..."


And I fizzled out here. I honestly don't know how to fix this, and I don't know how to convince Nabiki when I don't...understand...

I'm a fucking idiot, running my mouth instead of listening.



[X] Swallow your pride.
[X] "Nabiki. I don't understand why you think the worst of shinobi. I don't get where you're coming from, but even if we never see each after this or see eye to eye, I still want to try. Can you help my try to understand your side?"
 
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[X] Hymn you magnificent bastard, I read your Pooooooost!
 
Hymn, I assume the second part is the vote? Or is the whole thing the vote?
 
Second part is my vote, because preaching without understand the other side seems doomed to failure at this point.
 
Edited the archive copy of the last post so that Guile's write-in actually appears in it. Upon rereading as part of a sequence of updates, it was confusing.
 
So should I just go with Hymn's write-in? Does anyone have any objections?
 
[X] Hymn

Sure.

We did basically say we thought not killing was wrong. If we can get her to talk maybe we can get over that little gaff.

Two possibilities as to how she took that. We're a really jaded monster who can talk about killing without flinching, or we're a naive kid who has no experience and no idea what she's getting into.

In the first case she won't want much to do with us, in the second she probably thinks yelling at us won't help.

Even if this does result in a bit of a harsh discussion, that's better than nothing, and can lead to a moderately friendly resolution. Better than stewing and gaining contempt, anger, or doubt about us.
 
[X] You catch more flies with honey

"... I just don't understand," you say, a little more softly than before.

You can tell she's listening even if she doesn't look up. She isn't on the verge of tears anymore, but it really could go either way.

"I know we won't see each other again after this trip, and I know it isn't any of my business, but..." You swallow, feeling less like a professional kunoichi of Konoha and more like a confused teenager every second. "But I feel like I need to know why you... think the way you do."

Nabiki sighs, and places her book in her lap. She smiles sadly, and there's that weird note of affection again. "You've changed a lot, yellowhair," she says. "You've grown into a much kinder girl than I would have expected."

"But-" She reaches across the table and pats you gently on the head, "- that might not be such a good thing."

... okay. Well. Now I just have to figure out whatever the hell that means. Nabiki clearly isn't up for continuing this conversation, and even you aren't enough of a bitch to intentionally harass someone until they cry just to satisfy your curiosity.

You raise an eyebrow. "I have to ask: yellowhair?"

"You have only yourself to blame," she replies, going back to her book. "It isn't as though you took the time to introduce yourself when we first met."

"You had ten years to give me a nickname and the one that stuck was yellowhair?"

She glances at you over the top of the book. "It is the only one that is even vaguely complimentary."

"Heh. Fair enough."

=

"Why have we stopped?"

"What does it look like? We're setting up camp before nightfall."

"What?!" You stare at Kiba in disbelief. "We're camping? I thought we were going to stay at an inn, we have a delicate noblewoman with us and everything!"

"It will be so wonderful to sleep out under the stars again," you overhear Nabiki chirping brightly to Tsuruhiko.

"Not in the budget, Ino," Asuma says, shaking his tent open in one fluid movement.

"But I didn't bring a bed or a tent!" you protest.

"You'll be sharing with Ami."

Ami's eyes bug. "What?"

"No way!" you declare. "She hogs the blankets!"

"Blankets?!" she says in disbelief. "You sit up reading manga until midnight, laughing out loud at all the jokes, and then you hog the entire mattress, you greedy lunatic! One time I woke up with my entire left side pinned underneath you."

"I'll take first watch when we bed down," Asuma says wearily, "then Kiba and Akamaru, then Ino and Menka, and then Ami and I. There. Now it doesn't matter who sleeps where."

"How very broad-minded of you, Asuma-san," Nabiki comments, approaching. "Katsuhiro-san and I are going hunting for our dinner, if any of you are interested in joining us."

"I'll go with you, I guess," Kiba says, 'casually' resting his rifle over his shoulder. "I'm a pretty decent shot."

The elder retainer sniffs, a quiver of arrows slung across his back. "'Pretty decent' with a rifle nets you one kill and scatters the rest of the game, boy."

The boy grins in that particular way he knows shows off his canines and makes him look more badass than he actually is. "I haven't met a type of game yet that could outrun an Inuzuka's nose." His eyes flicker ever-so-momentarily in Nabiki's direction.

You resist the urge to sigh. Your teammate has no moves.

Fortunately for him Nabiki appears to have a sense of humour about a twelve-year-old boy hitting on her and lets it slide.

Ami gathers tinder and firewood while you construct traps around the perimeter of camp and try unsuccessfully to fend off mosquitoes.

"I hate the wilderness," you grumble, removing your sandals to shake out the pine needles.

"What? Why?" Ami asks, incredulous. "It's beautiful out here."

You ignore her. Clearly she's one of them. You sip from your water bottle and try not to think about what your Mom is cooking for dinner tonight.

Whatever that may be, you end up dining on venison. It's not so bad, but nowhere near as good as when Shikamaru's dad makes it - you make a mental note to request that recipe next time you see him.

You spend the rest of the evening

[X] stargazing with Kiba and Ami

[X] playing shogi with Asuma

[X] chatting up Tsuruhiko - maybe he knows what's up with Nabiki
 
[X] chatting up Tsuruhiko - maybe he knows what's up with Nabiki
 
[X] chatting up Tsuruhiko - maybe he knows what's up with Nabiki
 
[X] reading manga until midnight, laughing out loud at all the jokes.
 
There can be no secrets from Lupino! We must know everything!

... Eh.
(x) Stargaze. Lie outrageously about all the constellations. "Oh yeah, there's the yeti-riding-bull-clutching-crane-and-eel. See the hooves?"
 
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