Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[Selias]

[X] "How do the mechanics of Turtle-style actually work?" Even if they lie about it, it should give you something to go on.

 

[cyberswordsmen]

[X] "So how does Sukaha-san fit into all this? Where did she come from? Is she single?" How do you know you can trust her?

 

[Disminded]

[X] "So how does Sukaha-san fit into all this? Where did she come from? Is she single?" How do you know you can trust her?

 

[Guile]

[X] All you know is, you want to be Sukaha when you grow up.
It feels like she's laughing at everybody in the room.

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] How do I even begin to explain Sukaha?

"She's an old friend of Edajima-sensei's father," Momiji says, adjusting a crooked picture on the wall. "Her school and ours have been linked since before the Utai era."

"So she has her own school, then?" you ask.

"In the mountains somewhere," Mirioni says, nodding. Then he frowns. "But one of the seniors might've said it's on an island. Hey, Momiji, which is it?"

"Sukaha-sensei's a very private woman," Momiji replies, neither scolding nor uncertain.

Inside your head, you pout. How are you supposed to get accurate intel if even her allies don't know jack about her?

Menka rubs his head on your ankle in support.

"C'mon, man," Mirioni wheedles, "you've gotta know; where're we gonna send your mail next year if we don't even know your new address?"

Momiji frowns in mild annoyance. "Oi. Don't get carried away. I'm only up for consideration, there's nothing definite yet."

"Who else is she gonna take?" Mirioni asks, scoffing. "You're the best of the second-years. And none of the seniors have anything on you."

"Consideration for what?" you ask.

"Sukaha-sensei visits the school about once a year, and under certain rare circumstances she'll take an apprentice or two with her when she leaves," Momiji explains. He eyes Mirioni. "But she took Meiryoku-sensei's daughter just last year, so it's highly unlikely she's already looking for a new student."

"He's making a joke, Ino-hime," Mirioni tells you with a snicker. "Either that or he doesn't remember how fast Asuka-chan can drive someone nuts. If she were my apprentice I'd want ten more, just to keep a buffer zone between me and her."

"Can you really say that any of us deserved the opportunity more than she did?" Momiji asks, tilting his head ever-so-slightly to the side.

Mirioni holds up his hands defensively. "Hey, far be it from me to second-guess the woman who trained Rouga Noki and his wife." After a moment's consideration, he says wistfully, "Man, Nabiki-sama must really be something with grandparents like that."

"Grandparents?" you ask. "Wait a minute: How could Sukaha-san have trained Nabiki-chan's grandparents?"

The x-faced boy turns suddenly sheepish. "Sukaha-sensei is well-preserved," he mumbles.

"I should say so," you reply in disbelief. "Where did she grow up? I need to know so I can go bottle the air and sell it."

"She says she's from Wing Country."

You frown. "Where the hell is Wing Country?"

He shrugs.

Do these guys have no curiosity at all?!



[X] Ask some more about Sukaha
-> [X] Like what?
[X] Fucking Turtle-style, how does it work?
[X] Ask about Sorato
[X] Ask about the other teachers
[X] Ask about the other students

Pick two.

 

[Selias]

[X] Fucking Turtle-style, how does it work?

 

[Redon]

[X] Fucking Turtle-style, how does it work?

No help on that front... let's try this one.

 

[Disminded]

[X] Fucking Turtle-style, how does it work?

I don't really expect them to answer. I'm just drawn to the option with the most expletives attached...

 

[Guile]

Too many new characters!

[X] Fucking Turtle-style, how does it work?
-[X] Do you guys do exhibition matches?

 

[FurikoMaru]

So no second questions, aside from Guile's?

 

[Scia]

I am braindead and might add stuff tomorrow like where exactly to find her and what happen with her students after they come back from her.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

I'm tempted to ask if Suhaku has any relation to Tsunade, well preserved older ladies and all, but I'm pretty sure the answer is no and it's a waste of a question.

 

[FurikoMaru]

I'm tempted to ask if Suhaku has any relation to Tsunade, well preserved older ladies and all, but I'm pretty sure the answer is no and it's a waste of a question.

Click to shrink...

It wouldn't be a waste of a question if you asked Sukaha herself, but these two can only get you up to speed on what everyone knows about her.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

It wouldn't be a waste of a question if you asked Sukaha herself, but these two can only get you up to speed on what everyone knows about her.

Click to shrink...

Hmm! I'll have to remember that.

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] Take My Breath Away

"What does Sukaha teach, exactly? More advanced forms and stuff?" you ask.

"Well... no. Turtle-style doesn't really have a formal system of kata," Mirioni says, sounding rather embarrassed. "We don't have a single lineage like other taijutsu traditions; it's less a style and more like a bunch of different styles that're connected by family ties and friendships and stuff. We just all get grouped together 'cause we share techniques with each other sometimes."

"Like the way you all hide your chakra levels?" you say.

Mirioni looks blank. "What's chakra?"

._________.

Okay, at this point the universe is officially mocking you.

Thankfully Momiji comes the the rescue. "It's that personal energy the samurai and ninja use."

Mirioni's eyes widen. "But isn't that really-" he begins.

"Sukaha-sensei's tutelage has a stronger focus on weaponry than the Edajima school does," Momiji says. "She's more concerned with taijutsu's place in matters of war than with its uses as a tool of justice or spirituality."

It's your turn to stare blankly. "What does taijutsu have to do with spirituality? Is punching a guy in the rocks supposed to be a religious experience?"

"Sorry," the tall boy says, shaking his head, "I can't explain more than that. Even if you weren't a ninja, Miyamoto and I haven't achieved the right of transmission yet; no one's allowed to teach Turtle-style until they reach master status, especially not the philosophy. We'd be expelled."

"... wait, you're a ninja?" Mirioni blurts out, aghast.

You scowl. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Momiji shrugs. "Ninja are sworn to serve their Kage. Legitimate martial arts practitioners are sworn only to defend the innocent from injustice. Since we aren't allies, why would we tell you how we do what we do?"

That... hurts. It's not like when you and Nabiki were kids - there's no brazen declaration that 'ninja are the bad guys, grr'. There's just the calm, almost neutral statement of fact.

Which is, naturally, worse.

"Shinobi protect the innocent all the time," you protest. "Some career genin even get permanent gigs as police officers and emergency personnel in small towns - hell, thousands of Konoha-nin gave their lives to protect the civilians of Fire Country in three world wars and to defeat the Kyuubi no Kitsune!"

You make all of these protestations, but you feel awful just saying them.

Konoha is your home; it's not wrong to want to defend your home and your friends. You know that, and you know Momiji probably knows that.

But Konoha is a business. If a shinobi saves someone, it's because they expect to get paid for their efforts. If they put down a ruthless business empire, it's because that business' monopoly is bad for their village's traders. If they assassinate a corrupt official, it's because the daimyo tacitly requested it. Money rules everything, and everyone's trying to get some of it. Being a good person is what you do on your own time. That's what's made Konoha great; a concerted effort made to incentivize caring about the people around you, in order to foster teamwork and a community spirit and channel that united strength into preserving the whole. In the shinobi world this is nearly heresy.

Apparently in the martial arts world it's considered the bare minimum.

"So... you're not a lady-in-waiting?" Mirioni asks sadly.

"Why would you think I'm a lady-in-waiting?" you ask, genuinely curious. You haven't been playing demure in the slightest; it's been ore this and da ze that all day.

"You're dressed as one!" he says.

You boggle. "And this didn't tip you off?" You tap at the hitai ate around your neck.

._.; "I thought it was a fashionable necklace."

You suddenly understand why you were the only person in your year who bothered to sign up for the general Infiltration class.

"Well, it isn't, and I'm not," you say, shrugging. "I'm Yamanaka Ino the Fifth, heir to the Yamanaka clan and a genin of Konohagakure no Sato."

As though you just flipped a switch, Mirioni and Momiji snap to attention.

"Miyamoto Mirioni, heir to the Miyamoto clan of Tanzaku Gai, student of the Edajima school of Turtle-style taijutsu," Mirioni declares, bowing stiffly.

"Tsurugi Momiji, student of the Edajima school of Turtle-style taijutsu," Momiji says mildly. He doesn't bow so much as casually incline his spine.

A tiny thrill, certainly not the first of the day, goes through you, and now you get why. He's cool! A genuine cool guy, here of all places! Well, okay, yeah, sucks that he apparently doesn't trust ninja, but who cares? He's cute!

[X] Make an excuse to follow the two of them to their first class (which is apparently on art history, from the way they describe it).

[X] Head back over to the stables to fill everyone in on what you've learned.

[X] Hell, your shift doesn't start until after lunch; time to hit the town and see the sights! You've got souvenirs to buy.

-----

Welcome to shallow teenage girlhood. Population: you. 8)

 

[Selias]

[X] Make an excuse to follow the two of them to their first class (which is apparently on art history, from the way they describe it).

Art? We're there!

 

[Redon]

X] Make an excuse to follow the two of them to their first class (which is apparently on art history, from the way they describe it).

sure why not.

 

[Disminded]

[X] Hell, your shift doesn't start until after lunch; time to hit the town and see the sights! You've got souvenirs to buy.

Eh, we've already done the school thing. I'd rather go steal shit.

 

[Jiven]

[X] Make an excuse to follow the two of them to their first class (which is apparently on art history, from the way they describe it).

 

[iamnuff]

Lets not invite ourselves into the classroom.

[X] Head back over to the stables to fill everyone in on what you've learned.

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] The burning ghost without a name

All it took was a mention that you like art for Mirioni to fall over himself to invite you to class. You feel kind of bad for the guy; if he's like this when you're just being yourself you can imagine how much of a doormat he'd be if you'd actually put effort into charming him.

"... which, when contrasted with the most popular themes in their devotional art from before the war, presents us with the dual nature of the Water Country priesthood's relationship with their ocean-kami patrons..."

Culture Studies, it turns out, is not just art history, but rather history and cultural anthropology rolled into one class.

In other words, shiny-thing central; it's like someone opened up your Annotated World Atlas of Art History, turned it upside down and shook out an instructor to go with it. This unit they're doing on the island nations has already brought two private collections you've never heard of to your attention and introduced you to the existence of Water Country whale-ivory armbands, which, aside from being beautiful, apparently enjoy a brisk trade on the black market.

Mirioni looks like he's having trouble staying awake. Momiji is slouched in his chair in the back row, like a barbarian king on a throne, but his attention is focused on the teacher, so sadly, no chance for a nice chat during the lecture. Oh, well; at least all the new info you're getting means this wasn't a total loss.

The teacher places a fresh sheet on the projector and adjusts the magnification. "Now, when we examine the religious art of the Whirlpool Diaspora, what do we observe?" He scans the classroom. "Shinpei-kun?"

A boy with a rattail hairdo jumps awkwardly to his feet. "Um... well..." He squints. "That looks like the God of Knights again. Is that the same guy as before?"

"What makes you say that?" the teacher prompts.

"Well, he's in dark clothes like he was in the other pictures," the boy goes on, a trifle uncertainly, "and... I don't know, I'm sorry."

The teacher nods as Shinpei sits back down. "Tachibana-kun?"

"Is it because he's got the usual cloud under his feet, but he doesn't have any specific symbol, like the other gods?" another boy guesses.

"Correct," the teacher says, pointing his walking stick at the god in question. "The Kishigami is always depicted without distinguishing characteristics, to emphasize that his relationship is not with any one group of warriors, but with every fighter in the world. Does anyone else have any observations? Yes, Jounouchi-kun?"

"He's at the centre of the painting," the boy from earlier this morning says. "In the other stuff we've looked at he's always been off to the side."

"Which implies?"

"They thought he was more important than Water Country people thought he was," the blond declares confidently.

"Partially correct," the teacher says. "Can anyone tell me another possibility?"

There is an embarrassed silence.

"The subject of the painting is the Diaspora story itself," Momiji says. "The Uzumaki Clan did revere the Kishigami as their patron deity, but Islander art traditionally places whoever the main subject is at the centre of the work, no matter who they are otherwise, with the events depicted around them. The Kishigami is centred here because he's the centre of the tale being told."

Uzumaki? You cock an eyebrow in surprise. You know the Shodaime's wife's name, of course, but you didn't think she was part of a proper clan. Shouldn't you guys have covered that at the Academy?

Come to think of it, you don't know much of anything about Uzumaki Mito besides her name. She was a kind-hearted lady, you suppose, since when she died she stated in her will that all the orphans in Konoha were legally entitled to the use of her maiden name if they wished. But that's the only historical factoid you can call to mind about her - there're dead enka singers from Bird Country you know more about than that. Something doesn't add up here.

Listening to the ensuing discussion, you learn the sad tale of Whirlpool's downfall. In a nutshell, the Uzumaki were a powerful clan of ninja who, so the story goes, tried to cast a spell (you just barely manage to avoid rolling your eyes at the teacher's references to 'ninja magic') to bring their god into the physical realm. The result was the decimation of the island's population, human and animal, and the scattering of the survivors to the four winds.

Now that you do know something about - at least, you know the rumours that there's a pirate outpost somewhere on Whirlpool Country's south coast that was once a hidden village.

The class goes on, comparing the few surviving Whirlpool depictions of the Kishigami from before the Diaspora to those made after the exile, and really, the whole thing looks like an obsessive cult or an overenthusiastic fuuinjutsu researcher (or an obsessed cult of fuuinjutsu researchers) temporarily took over the island; the pre-Diaspora art includes a handful of pieces, though not enough to prove anything one way or the other, where the god is actually marked with a spiral and a few indecipherable symbols, as though someone were trying to shift him in the people's minds from everyone's god to just Whirlpool's god. But the moment the refugees make it to Fire or Lightning or wherever, the normal, mark-less Kishigami makes a comeback like nothing happened.

Eventually the teacher dismisses the students for their next class, and two or three of them come over to ask you questions; what it's like being a ninja, are your parents cool with you being one, why is there a cat following you around. The kinds of questions civilians always ask ninja when they aren't scared pissless of them.

Mirioni looks a bit glum when he realizes that he's literally the only person aside from Jou who didn't realize your profession at a glance, but he sticks around for the ribbing anyway because "Meiryoku-sensei left you in my care; if I can't even keep these apes in line, how could I face her again?"

Meanwhile, you are having the weirdest fucking day of your life and it isn't even lunch yet. What are you gonna do next?

[X] Actually, lunch sounds wonderful. Go grab an early bite to eat at a café and do some souvenir shopping.

[X] Stick around here; Momiji mentioned offhand that that Sorato character is in his next class.

[X] This is gettin' heavy; go tell your team what's what.

 

[Disminded]

[X] Actually, lunch sounds wonderful. Go grab an early bite to eat at a café and do some souvenir shopping.

I'm assuming this means we steal things.

 

[iamnuff]

[X] This is gettin' heavy; go tell your team what's what.

 

[Redon]

[X] Stick around here; Momiji mentioned offhand that that Sorato character is in his next class.

Recon!

 

[Selias]

[X] Actually, lunch sounds wonderful. Go grab an early bite to eat at a café and do some souvenir shopping.

 

[Guile]

We are a minor celebrity, in this school of DBZ rejects. I am RIGHT there with you on the 'weird day', Ino.
[X] Touch base with the team. If we're not going to be reporting findings, maybe bring these two along if they're bored? They're a pretty good comedy duo, they could take that act on the road.

Other random thoughts:
Kishigami? Is that a melding of the words for ogre and god, like 'kishin'?

The Uzumaki revered a man-eater god? And summoned him onto the island? Spooky.

And nice bit with Mito and the orphans, that helps explain why nobody figured out Naruto Uzumaki was actually, you know, an Uzumaki. Besides it just being another instance of Konoha's deplorable history and current events classes, I mean.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Other random thoughts:
Kishigami? Is that a melding of the words for ogre and god, like 'kishin'?

Click to shrink...

Nah, it's just the word for knight mushed together with kami.

And nice bit with Mito and the orphans, that helps explain why nobody figured out Naruto Uzumaki was actually, you know, an Uzumaki. Besides it just being another instance of Konoha's deplorable history and current events classes, I mean.

Click to shrink...

T'be fair, it's a military town; a lot of stuff is probably still classified. Of course, that doesn't really mesh with jinchuuriki being internationally-recognized phenomena, but I'll say one thing for running this quest - it has made me reassess my view of Kishimoto as a writer. It's hard coming up with this crap and making it simultaneously fun and consistent.

 

[Guile]

Well sure, but it wouldn't hurt Konoha to teach its genin stuff like who Orochimaru or Zabuza are, or where Tea and Snow country are, etc.

I realize its just a method of imparting information to the audience, but Sasuke and Sakura (if not Naruto) should really already know this stuff.

 

[FurikoMaru]

That's one of the problems with schizo tech; if Kishimoto hadn't established that they have cameras, it'd be more understandable that the kids couldn't recognize the most infamous missing nin in history.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Yeah, you'd think the Academy would have a class that's essentially, "These are the people where, if you encounter them, you either run and never stop, roll over and play dead, and/or take your cyanide."