Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

It's worth remembering that Lupin is a gigantic hypocrite when it comes to women. He's got this rather confused position where he thinks of them as people, sex objects and fleurs délicat all at the same time. Combine that with his inherent competitiveness, and this is the basic result.

Click to shrink...

So in essence, Ino has no moral objections to snatching up a guy's girl. That I am not surprised by. I can see how she can be of several minds on the issue, but if we wanna one-up the guy we could at least strive for a level of subtlety that Kiba wouldn't notice.

I don't think we're hitting even that. I would expect even Mirioni to catch on.

Seems to me like the best we could hope for is Sorato loses his cool and makes a scene for us to take advantage of, instead of doing the smart thing and weakening our credibility/position by illustrating what could be our plausible intentions in a negative light. And we are giving him a pile of ammunition.

Seems deadline is about up, so let's hope he's a hot head that lets us appear to be in the 'right'.

 

[Selias]

So in essence, Ino has no moral objections to snatching up a guy's girl. That I am not surprised by. I can see how she can be of several minds on the issue, but if we wanna one-up the guy we could at least strive for a level of subtlety that Kiba wouldn't notice.

I don't think we're hitting even that. I would expect even Mirioni to catch on.

Seems to me like the best we could hope for is Sorato loses his cool and makes a scene for us to take advantage of, instead of doing the smart thing and weakening our credibility/position by illustrating what could be our plausible intentions in a negative light. And we are giving him a pile of ammunition.

Seems deadline is about up, so let's hope he's a hot head that lets us appear to be in the 'right'.

Click to shrink...

Flirting with someone's girlfriend and stealing someone's girlfriend are two completely different things. Also, who cares if it looks like we're in the right?

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Flirting with someone's girlfriend and stealing someone's girlfriend are two completely different things. Also, who cares if it looks like we're in the right?

Click to shrink...

Yes, but doing it by blatantly ignoring the boyfriend is so painfully obvious and conspicuous.

And the people we want to get information out of, obviously. The students we've been chatting up for info? People who are discerning about who they spend time with? People who might suddenly look at this and remember they have something to do?

Kinda hard to mingle and chat people up for what they know when they're shuffling away and avoid associating with you. Are we that extreme yet? Hopefully not, but I hope it illustrates the consequences of a social faux paux.

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] Just a Mason-Dixon Valentine

You shrug again. "Eh. Some things are in the blood."

"Good of you to worry about me, though," you add to Mei with a grin. "Thanks."

She looks embarrassed. "I'm sorry if I misunderstood."

"Don't be sorry! You're a very kind person. Most people'd be too afraid to say stuff like that." You stand, and gesture to your chair. "Please, have a seat. Didn't mean to take up another student's place." Well, sure, she totally isn't dressed for taijutsu, but then, neither are some of the ninja you've met; no point in assuming.

Mei glances hesitantly at the blond boy, who laughs.

"Oh, Mei-chan isn't a student here," he chirps, "she's with me. Who're you with?"

"The bride," you say, before turning back to Mei. "So, visiting your boyfriend in class? How romantic! Are the two of you going out for lunch afterward?"

Mei blushes.

"We sure are," blondie says, squeezing her and gazing into her eyes. He cocks an eyebrow at you winningly. "Wanna come with? Beats the hell out of cafeteria food."

"Nah, I wouldn't wanna intrude," you demur, wondering if this guy is suicidal or just incredibly stupid. He doesn't sound like he's too infatuated with you to make rational decisions, but he doesn't sound worried, either.

On the plus side, the girl isn't giving off any waves of animosity. On the negative side, she is obviously pretty conflicted about what's happening.

"It's no intrusion," he says, oblivious to your inner musings. "I'm buyin'~" he adds playfully.

[X] "Well, if it's fine with Mei-chan..." ^_^ (Step your game up and get a free meal out of it.)

[X] "Sorry. I have to be on duty at 12:30. *to Mei* Will I see you tomorrow at the wedding?" :3 (Dial things down a notch, but don't lose sight of your goal, here; snub the shit out 'im.)

[X] Write-in

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

That was a lot less flirty on Ino's part than I was expecting, considering the wording of the write-in. Acknowledging the relationship alone pretty thoroughly covers our ass. Although if stepping up our game means moving on to actual flirting, especially while eating on the guy's tab, I wouldn't make a bet one way or another. Mostly because I'm starting to wonder if Sorato is actually a successful playboy.

This really makes me want to get into this guy's head.

 

[Vindictus]

'Lavishing attention' is different from outright flirting, isn't it? I think it is, anyway.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

'Lavishing attention' is different from outright flirting, isn't it? I think it is, anyway.

Click to shrink...

It's not, but when combined with "on the pretty lady," it takes a different tenor for me. She has a name, we know her name, we refer to her as pretty lady as if the prettiness is the part that matters.

 

[FurikoMaru]

'Lavishing attention' is different from outright flirting, isn't it? I think it is, anyway.

Click to shrink...

Well, ya gotta set the stage. If Lupino hadn't just spent twelve-and-three-quarter years as a girl, she'd be just as blatant as canon-Lupin, but she has, so she isn't. She knows you can't just blurt out "You're pretty" to a complete stranger and expect a positive response.

 

[Selias]

Well, ya gotta set the stage. If Lupino hadn't just spent twelve-and-three-quarter years as a girl, she'd be just as blatant as canon-Lupin, but she has, so she isn't. She knows you can't just blurt out "You're pretty" to a complete stranger and expect a positive response.

Click to shrink...

Well, in that case... [X] "Well, if it's fine with Mei-chan..." ^_^ (Step your game up and get a free meal out of it.)

 

[Disminded]

[X] "Sorry. I have to be on duty at 12:30. *to Mei* Will I see you tomorrow at the wedding?" :3 (Dial things down a notch, but don't lose sight of your goal, here; snub the shit out 'im.)

 

[Redon]

[X] "Sorry. I have to be on duty at 12:30. *to Mei* Will I see you tomorrow at the wedding?" :3 (Dial things down a notch, but don't lose sight of your goal, here; snub the shit out 'im.)

 

[Ct613hulu]

[X] "Well, if it's fine with Mei-chan..." ^_^ (Step your game up and get a free meal out of it.)

This sound like it will be very amusing and is most in line with Ino's character but we should only do this if it we don not actually need to be on duty at 12:30.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

[X] "Sorry. I have to be on duty at 12:30. *to Mei* Will I see you tomorrow at the wedding?" :3 (Dial things down a notch, but don't lose sight of your goal, here; snub the shit out 'im.)

The warning to not let the guy touch us is still ringing heavy in my mind. Not hit, but touch, and mealtime is one area where accidental touches are pretty easy to excuse and harder to avoid without tipping him off or being conspicuous.

Let's see if we can pass our findings on to Asuma.

 

[Guile]

It is tempting to keep going - and entirely in character to go off on a solo recon mission with a pretty girl while eating on some guy's tab - but we've had options to get back to the ninja pack for, what, 5 updates now?

Guess we should do that.

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] Now the line forms on the right, dear

"Sorry," you lie, "I have to be on duty at 12:30." You shake Mei's hand gently (ignoring your first impulse to kiss the air above it - what even is that? ). "It was lovely to meet you, Mei-chan. You comin' to the wedding tomorrow?"

"Of course!" the blond interjects gleefully. "She's been wanting to wear that new party dress I made her for ages."

You're torn between being impressed that he can sew and being incredibly skeeved out over the way he keeps answering questions you've been asking Mei.

Before he can say anything more, the door of the classroom opens and Meiryoku steps in, a briefcase in her hand.

"Find your seats," she says sternly. "That includes you, Shinyuu."

"Just improving diplomatic relations with Konohagakure," he quips with a grin.

Dear god, if the Irony gets any thicker in here I'll have to stick him in a suit of armour and call him Taisho.

"See ya, kunoichi-chan!" he says, before doing something that honestly shocks the ever-loving shit out of you.

He and Mei head over to his desk. He takes a seat, Mei takes the seat next to him, and they immediately start making out.

And Meiryoku begins the math lesson without saying a word about it.

... what the actual fuck?!

You pull out a small pad of paper and write a note to Mirioni.

Who died and made that guy god?

Upon reading the message, Mirioni's head jerks up to give you a completely poleaxed look. Then a massive grin spreads across his face, and he prods Jounouchi, showing him the note.

"Something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Jounouchi?" Meiryoku asks as the brunet guffaws loudly.

"I- no, Meiryoku-sensei," he says, getting himself back under control, his mouth a firm line as his cheeks redden in suppressed mirth. "I... had a frog in my throat."

The return note has a marriage proposal from Jou written across the top, but Mirioni has scratched it out.

That's Shinyuu Sorato. His old man left a lot of money to the school on the condition they let Shinyuu attend. We're stuck with him until we graduate.

You're kidding. Does he neck during the martial arts classes too? A part of you — and you don't know how potent that part might be — is roiling with jealousy.

Banned for blinding a senior during a spar in our first year.

You swear under your breath, glancing at the oral hygiene orchestra over there. Granted, you're probably going to be doing a lot worse than blinding people once you get promoted to chuunin, but geez. Maiming an ally. In a fucking sparring match.

Sorato catches you staring, and winks.

You shudder.

[X] How'd he blind him?

[X] Why'd he blind him?

 

[hunter09]

[X] How'd he blind him?

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

...Permanently blinded?

What an assclown.

Lemme get this straight, his father has enough money to excuse this, but he's still planning on stealing from Nabiki for Mei? Or his own ego? Or his father didn't leave him any money but hoped the school would straighten him out?

Not that we wouldn't be just as petty with the right provocation, but still.

What really surprises me is how Mei is going along with this. She doesn't strike me as the exhibitionist type, although if she's getting a thrill out of flouting convention....

Well now. Figure out what makes him tick, or figure out one of his tricks.

I seriously want to get into this guy's head and figure out what the flying hell he's doing here. Furiko, you're pretty good about giving logical if not outright sympathetic backstories for what appear to be jackass actions (see Ami, now one of our favorites) so this guy...

I feel like we know entirely too little about this guy and am half-expecting his blinding of a senior to have actually been a heroic action of some kind, and we don't know the full story. Like the senior was a jackass or something.

...Yeah, I'm voting motive.

[X] Why'd he blind him?

 

[Guile]

[X] Why?

We don't plan to be letting the guy touch us anyway, so why does 'how' matter? I don't suppose we brought our disguise kit? I wouldn't mind just going around disguised as young martial artist boys after this.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

We don't plan to be letting the guy touch us anyway, so why does 'how' matter? I don't suppose we brought our disguise kit? I wouldn't mind just going around disguised as young martial artist boys after this.

Click to shrink...

To be fair, getting blinded would make it harder to avoid being touched. First casualty of any encounter is the plan, et cetera.

 

[Redon]

[X] Why'd he blind him?

I'm of the figure out how he ticks persuasion here. Need to know what buttons to push.

 

[Selias]

[X] Why'd he blind him?

 

[Scia]

[X] How'd he blind him?

It might be important to know what to evade there

 

[iamnuff]

how is probably "stuck his fingers in his eye socket"

why might be more important.

 

[Disminded]

how is probably "stuck his fingers in his eye socket"

why might be more important.

Click to shrink...

We can assume "why" is "because he's a sociopathic ass-hat."

How is more relevant if we want to lure him into a dark alley and shank him with a rusty spork.

[X] How'd he blind him?

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] Why oh why do you wanna say goodbye

Long story, tell you after class.

'Long' is ominously underlined.

=

Oof, civilian math is rigorous. The later years of the Academy math curriculum were given over to ninja applications for the subject, like determining the arc of an arrow, or measuring the concussive force of an explosion, or just balancing a budget on a limited salary. The Edajima school's take on things involves a lot more abstract stuff. What the hell is trigonometry and why do you somehow know how to do it despite never having studied it before?

( "You're helping yourself cheat at high school math now? Isn't that kind of a waste of this gig?"

-_- "Trig is the Devil incarnate and I'm not learnin' it twice. She can fill the extra brain space with song lyrics like a normal kid.")

As soon as the bell rings, Mei and Sorato are out the door, arm in arm and leaning on each other like an elderly couple.

Not ten seconds later, Jou and Mirioni converge on you.

Before you can say a word, Jou grabs your hands. "Thank you," he says fervently, "thank you thank you thank you thank you. You don't know how good it feels to know there's at least one girl on the planet who doesn't think the sun shines out of Shinyuu's ass."

You stare, perplexed. "... what."

"I know!" he says, the relief of validation brightening his face. "He's the biggest douche in school, but every chick I know thinks he's some kind of prince among men! My mother has a crush on him." He puts on a high falsetto: "'Oh, why can't you be friends with that nice Shinyuu boy? He's such a gentleman!'"

If you were drinking something you'd have done a spittake just now. "In what language is 'gentleman' a synonym for 'moron who flirts with complete strangers in front of his poor girlfriend'?" you demand, incredulous.

"If it exists, every girl in town speaks it," Mirioni says, sighing. "They're always hugging him and posing for him when he wants to draw-"

"He draws?" Well, there's a possible explanation for the hubbub. Artists get cut an ungodly amount of slack thanks to the hotness factor. "Is he any good?"

Mirioni shrugs the shrug of a man who has given up on understanding the difference between 'art you like' and 'good art' and is happier for it.

"He says he's influenced by Expressionism," Momiji remarks. "But what he draws looks more like an attempt at Northern Mannerism, with a few odd colour choices."

"Ararara~?" You straighten up in your seat, eyes gleaming. "You're certainly well-informed, Momiji-kun. Do you draw at all?"

"No," he says. "I don't have the talent for it. But I do take photographs on the weekends."

"Really~? Think I could sit for a private portrait before I leave?"

"Oh, hey, I thought so; he left a sketch here," Jou calls, having gone over to Sorato's desk to check. He brings over a piece of paper and hands it to you.

On it is a drawing of a smiling Mei, and you can see what Momiji meant by 'an attempt' at Mannerism. The sketch captures all the details and contrast at once, like the shadow of her hair on her neck and the particular shape of her ears, but nothing is said about these features; they're just presented, as though each of them were drawn individually for an anatomy study and then blended into one picture. You can't even call it a realistic work, because though the details are there, they've all been... idealized is the wrong word. Upgraded, maybe; they're lit in a decidedly unrealistic fashion, like a leading lady in a movie.

Curiously, Mei herself, as a whole, is not. There's nothing to the drawing that gets across any sense of the relationship between the artist and the subject - it's like the artist doesn't exist. Or worse...

"... it's like he woke up one day and said, 'I'm gonna learn to draw so girls will like me'," you say, disgusted. If there's one thing you can't stand, it's dumbasses trying to exploit loopholes in the dating game. Cool guys are cool because they care about what they do, whether it's art or fixing cars or swinging a sword; doing something 'cool' just because coolness gets you laid is cheating, damn it!

"That offer of marriage is still open," Jou says, only half-joking.

"Anyway," Mirioni says, "you wanted to hear about what happened to Hazuki-sempai, right?"

"Mm," you affirm. "First of all, was the blinding permanent?"

"In one of his eyes, yeah," Jou says. "The left one got some vision back a few weeks later, but he's still legally blind."

"Hey, am I the one tellin' this story or not?"

"Geez, sorry."

"That's what I thought."

=

The thing you gotta know beforehand, Ino-chan [Apparently ninja don't warrant a -hime, you note with amused disappointment], is that Hazuki-sempai isn't the most personable guy around. He talked in class and when you talked to him first, but mostly he kept himself to himself. We didn't really give him a hard time about it; his parents died in a house fire about a year before he came to school, so no one expected him to be the life of the party or anything. He didn't like loud noises, and sometimes he could be downright rude, if he thought you were bein' too crass or whatever. But that's just how he is, y'know? He likes to be alone. Even now if you ask 'im, he'll say his hobby is napping.

As you can guess, a lot of the guys didn't like him, and Shinyuu flat-out hated his guts right from the start. He used to complain all the time about how Hazuki-sempai thought he was better than the rest of us, and how he was supposedly a jerk to women. Crazy, right? Considerin' who we're talkin' about. Hazuki-sempai had a few female admirers back then, 'cause he was kinda handsome, I guess, but he wasn't interested in datin' 'em; he was here on a scholarship, and he didn't wanna fall behind. I don't think I ever saw him say more than three words to a girl.

So anyway, we have open matches every October; anyone in the younger grades can challenge the seniors. Shinyuu challenged Hazuki-sempai. Now, Shinyuu doesn't completely suck at fighting or anything - at least he didn't back then, dunno about now - but he is definitely not what you might call a 'natural' at taijutsu, and Hazuki-sempai was and is; back then they were talking about hiring him as a teacher after graduation. So the fight was pretty one-sided, and it wasn't long before Hazuki-sempai had Shinyuu on the ground.

As he was getting back up, he said, "You're so smug, standing there looking down on everyone else!"

And, I'll never forget this as long as I live, Hazuki-sempai just answered, calm as anything, "Not everyone. Just you."

So Shinyuu pulled a little bottle out of his pocket and threw it at his face. Hazuki-sempai's, I mean, not Shinyuu's.

I don't know what was in it, you'd have to ask him yourself, but when it shattered, Hazuki-sempai started screamin'. Shinyuu got in one punch before the teachers separated them, and the second they declared the fight over he let out this... this happy whoop, like a little kid at his birthday.

Hazuki-sempai wasn't more than ten feet away. We could all still hear him crying, still see him thrashing while the nurses were holdin' him down to sedate him, and here was this kid doing a victory dance without a care in the world.

Shinyuu's good mood lasted about as long as it took for Edajima-sensei to disqualify him and ban him from studying Turtle-style ever again. I've never seen the teachers so angry before or since. He only managed to keep from getting expelled by telling them what was in the bottle and paying Hazuki-sempai's medical bills. To this day, he still says he won that fight and the teachers only disqualified him because of favouritism.

Hazuki-sempai's okay now, though. He owns a veterinary clinic, him and his wife. He still competes in tournaments sometimes, but only for charity events.

=

"... well," Asuma says. "Charming day you've been having."

Showing a massive amount of good sense, he is not smoking as he says this.

"I asked if the nurses who treated Hazuki-san were in town," you say, and hand over a business card. "One of them works at that clinic, the other moved away. I used the phone in the headmaster's office to make an appointment for four o'clock today; she sounds like she's willing to discuss it. The chemistry teacher who Sorato said gave him the idea for the acid-in-the-face tactic resigned in disgust when the kid wasn't expelled, and none of the boys seem to know where he took up work after that."

"Are we allowed to kill this guy?" Ami asks with a scowl. "He doesn't sound like he's likely to become any saner the older he gets."

"Don't talk about killing so casually," Asuma says sharply.

Ami flinches, and protests, "Didn't you hear what Ino just said, sensei?"

"Did you?" Kiba asks bluntly. "That Sukaha woman didn't hire us; Nabiki-san did, and her orders were to take any thieves alive so she could question them."

"Besides, we only have Sukaha-san's word for it that he's going to try anything at all," you add. "My sensing can barely do anything around these taijutsu specialists."

Ami looks troubled. "... but he's evil. He's a clear threat to the public good," she says.

"Yeah, he is. And I for one am gonna enjoy stomping the shit out of his crazy ass," Kiba replies with a mirthless grin. "But killing him shouldn't be our first plan."

"Well, what is our first plan?" she asks, looking over at Asuma.

"Excellent question," he says. "You tell me."

"... but..." Ami is clearly floored, her mouth hanging open.

"I'll be back in half an hour," he says, heading out the door. "The out-of-town guests'll start arriving at 3."

"... did he just Kakashi us?" Ami asks you indignantly.

"Looks like," you say, grinning.

"What does a scarecrow have to do with this?" Kiba asks.

"Kakashi is Sasuke's jounin sensei," you explain. "He does this kind of thing a lot."

"He does?" Kiba's expression brightens. "Well, hell. I guess karma really does exist."

He dodges Ami's first slap, but doesn't see her followup until it's too late.

[X] What plan are you going to propose?

-----

Artistic terms have been adjusted from what they actually are in-universe to the closest real-world approximation. Sempai/senpai no longer looks like a word.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

....Plan time?

Plan time.

*cracks knuckles*

 

[Vindictus]

[Q] Plan-
[embed=425,349]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgXTNBLaVtQ[/embed]

8)

 

[Guile]

Okay, so the main focus has to be on protecting Nabiki. If we can fuck over Sorato, we should, but if he doesn't try anything we can save a nasty practical joke for after we're gone (one that's obviously a ninja thing, so he doesn't take it out on the other students).

Ami should probably stick with Nabiki. She's good at being girly, and the best in a straight-up fight, and she doesn't have Kiba's nose or Ino's sensing/disguise/charm/whatever. Have one of the other on overwatch and one sniffing around, and trade off on those two tasks. Try not to pull anything too fun, the teachers at this school seem pretty on-the-ball.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Okay, so the main focus has to be on protecting Nabiki. If we can fuck over Sorato, we should, but if he doesn't try anything we can save a nasty practical joke for after we're gone (one that's obviously a ninja thing, so he doesn't take it out on the other students).

Ami should probably stick with Nabiki. She's good at being girly, and the best in a straight-up fight, and she doesn't have Kiba's nose or Ino's sensing/disguise/charm/whatever. Have one of the other on overwatch and one sniffing around, and trade off on those two tasks. Try not to pull anything too fun, the teachers at this school seem pretty on-the-ball.

Click to shrink...

Nabiki's got a room in the school she's been staying in. You don't have to worry about protecting her in the stable.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

And our job is protecting the valuables, not her, IIRC.

It's not really a cover to protect Nabiki when Nabiki protects herself just fine.