Cu-nosuba: God’s Blessing on This Lancer’s Holy Grail War!

l---erddad---l · Jan 16, 2026

Davos said:
Your exponent system has me curious...You mind explaining it?

Each time it reaches a new level of crack, multiplying the previous crack, I add another.

I don't remember all of them, but I know the baseline was the Konosuba vibe the fic had, one of them was the crazy amount of sex that was happening, I think one of the breaking points was the sex line plot but I don't fully remember, and the most recent breaking point was stealing all of Ruler's command seals.

Actually, orders of magnitude is probably more accurate. So it's Crack*e5

Davos · Jan 18, 2026

"What in the world?!" Darnic shouts.

"Medea…do you have any idea what you just did?" Emiya asks.

"Not an inkling…I thought she was a Saber or Lancer Servant…why are there so many Command Seals?! Who are- AH!" Jeanne's fist smashes into Medea's face, blood dripping down her face now as she returns to the air.

"Die Musashi!" Kojiro shouts while slashing away.

"C-can we do this later, I think we have bigger problems!"

"I can't believe I am saying this, but I agree with the Saber! Oh God, I'm gonna be sick…" MHX says, getting a sharpened flag tip near her face.

"Don't you dare use his name you blonde wretch!" Jeanne says.

"Hey, I'm on your side!"

"Astolfo, get Medea's Master!" Vlad says.

"On it!"

"Is it safe for me to assume negotiations have fallen through and there will be asinine circumstances leading to a fight?" Saber asks while entering the door way, making Medea squeal in joy.

"Three blonde Sabers?!" Medea shouts before shouting in fright upon Jeanne's flag nearly impaling her, instead impaling her cloak to a pillar.

"I am a Ruler!"

"That explains the command seal amount."

"…Sounds like you we're a Ruler." Saber says, making a needle eyed Jeanne glare at her.

Saber raises her blade.

Jeanne recalls her flag.

"By my Command Seal, do not harm Saber!" Medea shouts.

"WHY?!" Jeanne shouts with her soul, making Saber laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" Emiya asks.

"When she was my Master, she issued an order that made me react the same way…it is rather delightful seeing the Saint get her comeuppance…or should I say 'justice poetique'~?" Saber asks, the last two words with a French accent, her smile faltering when Jeanne looks at her with twitching eyes…one of them turning yellow for a moment before she takes a deep breath.

"…My King, please stop taunting her…" Lancelot says.

Saber remains quiet as Roche enters the room.

"What's so important that you need me here? I was just about to finish a gol-" The swish of air breaking near him makes him stop. Looking down he sees his hand with Command Seals over Medea has been cut off.

He stares at his stump as Medea takes the hand and soon the command seals for herself, effectively freeing herself of all control.

Emiya, Kojiro, and Saber all pale.

Vlad stands and raises his spear at last.

"…I really do not want to shoot at a relative of Lady Aqua." Chiron says while readying his bow.

"That brat is here?" Medea asks.

"My hand!"

"Be quiet." Medea says before making another hand appear on his stump. Roche tinkers with it a bit and shoots out mana from it, now smiling fully.

"Oh Gods damn it Medea! I just talked him out of taking pot shots at every possible chance with his other hand!"

"Wait, his other hand is a- actually I don't really care enough….Oh Saaaaaber~!" Medea says while turning around, stopping at seeing Saber raise her blade above her head.

"EX-"

===

"…It appears Castle Yggdmillennia is in worse shape than we thought. They are missing a wall now." Semiramis says before bright beam of light is seen, making another wall evaporate, and causing everyone to come to the same conclusion.

'Saber is there.' They think with dread.

Semiramis glowers more when Gilgamesh places a hand on her shoulder.

"Set a course for that castle." He says.

"No."

"I'm not asking." Gilgamesh says.

"I'm not listening!" Semiramis says.

"That's a first." Atlanta says with crossed arms while leaning against a pillar, making Semiramis ball a fist.

"We have the Grail, we have no reason to seek a fight yet."

"Oh? I'm surprised you are not simply leaving with your prize." Gilgamesh says.

"The Grail is not my only purpose King of Heroes…but I would rather not deal with that Saber or her similarly deranged cohorts at this time…"

"A shame. I have plenty of matters to settle with both Saber and that Faker."

"Then you will do so on your own." Shirou says, purposefully tapping with the hand that has Gilgamesh's command seals.

"Hmph." Gilgamesh turns and walks to Achilles.

"…I'm not taking you there."

"I see no reason to respect your wishes…or are you really going to try and fight me?"

"…What about Lady Aqua?" Achilles asks, suppressing a smile as Gilgamesh flinches.

"What about her? You expect me to believe you are one of her followers?"

"No, but my teacher was on good terms with her, and I am sure she will be more than open to helping me if she were to hear you bother me."

"You coward…!"

"Not my fault you made your weakness so obvious…Why wouldn't I go after your… Achilles heel?" He asks with a smile, making everyone groan. Gilgamesh stares at him a moment before leaving.

'The TV is worse, the Shirou is worse, everything in this Grail War is worse…' He thinks.

"…Is it because of Vlad's recent additions to his legend you are resistant to approaching?" Karna asks.

"What recent additions? I thought he was a warlord?" Achilles asks.

"Yes, but his name is more famous from a vampire novel and subsequent similar works."

"What exactly is a vampire?" Achilles asks.

"A nocturnal creature that feeds by biting its victims and…" Karna trails off when he sees Achilles pales and shivers.

'This is the worst Grail War…' Achilles thinks.

===

"Let me go! Father needs help!" Mordred says as Cu and Fergus struggle to pull her back.

"She does not need help!" Kazuma shouts.

"He!"

"Are you kidding me?"

"If father is using Excalibur, he must be facing a truly troublesome foe!"

"Not our concern!"

"I agree with him…It would be better to wait for them to destroy each other." Kairi says.

"But we have plenty of firepower! We have 3 Sabers, 1 decent Caster, Jacky, and your party!" Mordred shouts.

"Don't include my party in plans, it'll only complicate things." Kazuma says, making Aqua pout, Megumin glower, and Darkness moan.

Rin looks at them flatly.

"…I am decent. Even without my Noble Phantasm-" Shakespeare says, making Jack and Mordred pale before continuing.

"I can enhance items and weapons to damage Servants."

"Wait, what?" Kazuma asks.

"I can enhance items and weapons. If you had a sword I could write about it as a blade that cuts anything, and it would harm Servants even if the wielder is human…that said, it would only be comparable to a C rank Noble Phantasm." Shakespeare says as Darkness grabs his shoulder.

"…Are you able to make a sword able to hit anything despite the wielder's inaccuracy?'

"I…think so? Though accuracy has never been an issue with swords."

"It is for me. Bless my blade!"

'…I'm actually curious if he can override Darkness' inability to hit anything.' Kazuma thinks as Aqua hands him his sword as Shakespeare writes.

"This blade is now blessed with the eye of the eagle, able to hit its mark by reversing causality!" He says and the blade glows brightly a moment, the light slowly fading to a slight glow upon Darkness' sword.

"You uncreative copycat! That's just plagiarism!" Cu shouts.

"…Do mine next." Kazuma says, shaking off a bad feeling.

"I christen your blade Fenrir's tooth! It can cut through anything!" Shakespeare says as Kazuma's blade begins to glow before quickly becoming dull.

"Strange…the glow should last a moment longer…does your sword already have a name?" Shakespeare asks and Kazuma frowns.

"I'd rather not-"

"I cannot change the name, but I can still enhance it if I know its true name."

"…Chunchunmaru." Kazuma says, getting a few giggles from most everyone present.

Even Jack struggles to keep her laughter in check.

Mordred just laughs outright.

"What kind of ridiculous name is that?" Shakespeare asks, paling when a giant earth hand grabs him.

"I chose that name." Megumin says.

"…Did I say ridiculous? I meant ridiculously amazing!"

Megumin doesn't believe him and tosses him into a tree.

===

"CALIBUR!" Saber shouts, erasing a wall from existence.

Unfortunately Medea and Jeanne are still alive.

One from avoiding, the other from shrugging it off.

"What?!"

"I am Servant who could easily be in a situation to fight 14 Servants. You think you alone can kill me, Queen of Blights?" Jeanne says, making Artoria grit her teeth before having to dodge a spike meant to impale her.

"This is far enough! Though I can understand your fury Saber, I cannot-"

"HER fury?!" Jeanne shouts, drawing Vlad's glare.

'J-Jeanne I think you need to take a deep breath!' Leticia says.

'I need to kill something…and I know who~.'

'But what about the Command Seal?' Leticia asks in Jeanne's head.

'…God damn it!'

'Oh wow, you are angry…'

"…Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise?" Lancelot says, drawing confused and enraged looks from everyone present.

"Why do you say that Lancelot?" Emiya asks, his blades in hand.

"Wasn't one of your goals to kill someone? Sure, it's a bit unconventional having Ruler lose her Ruler status, but having another Servant in the hunt for-"

"Don't say his name Lancelot!" Saber shouts.

"Why? What would be the issue in saying Kazuma's name my King?"

"Kazuma's here?!" Medea asks, making Saber frown.

"…They were comrades in the last war." Emiya says.

"…I truly made error haven't I?" Lancelot asks, Artoria's silence all the answer he needs; that and Medea firing a shot of magic through the ceiling to act as a firework.

"You will die here!" Vlad shouts.

"By my Command Seal, find and drink holy water!" Medea says and Vlad starts walking out of the room, looking for holy water, muttering the entire time. Musashi kicks Kojiro out a window.

"Sorry!"

"I'll find you…" Kojiro mutters from outside.

"Musashi, grab Saber premium! We have to go!"

"I am not- wait…premium?" Jeanne asks with rising dread.

"Because you're curvier!"

'Leticia, is murder still a sin?' Jeanne asks as Musashi hefts her onto her shoulder.

'Yes…But I'm not sure God can judge you too harshly after the last few days.'

"…For what it is worth Saint, I would not wish this on you." Saber says while keeping distance away from the fleeing Medea and Musashi.

"Wait…why are we taking her with us?" Musashi asks.

"Look at her. She'll look good in so many outfits!"

"Sweet a model sister!"

"…I think I'm starting to miss being burned at the stake…"

===

"Oh my God…I think that's Medea!" Kazuma says upon seeing the magic salvo.

"…How many Servants does that make now?" Cu asks.

"The better question…is the Witch of Betrayal single?" Fergus asks with a hand at his chin.

"She prefers her guys leaner." Cu says.

"Oh my, I didn't know you already met her~."

"Not like that…I accidentally killed her master who was also her darling."

"Oh…"

"Aqua, use create water!" Kazuma says.

"Why?"

"So Medea can find us!"

"I…don't think that's a good idea Kazuma. Medea isn't exactly the nicest person after her failed marriage."

"We already met before and are basically friends."

"…Figures you would make friends with her. I'm gonna go some distance away so we don't broadcast our hideout's exact spot." Aqua says before casting 'create water' some distance away. A few minutes later Medea arrives with Musashi and a sullen Jeanne.

"How did you get yourself dragged into another Grail War young man?"

"I blame humanity."

"…Alaya?" Medea asks and Kazuma gives a thumbs up.

"…Feel like I'm missing something here…" Musashi says.

"Let me go…" Jeanne growls.

"Not until you try these on!" Medea says, bringing out a bag of clothes.

"Where did that come from?! We didn't stop by a store!"

"It's magic~."

"…Not like this can be any worse than learning everything I knew about God was wrong."

"You weren't wrong. The God in the bible is real." Aqua says, making Jeanne smile with tears in her eyes.

"Oh thank the Lord, it isn't you!"

"Yeah, but he's a real bastard." Aqua says, making everyone but Darkness and Megumin look at her aghast.

"He doesn't really do much anymore aside from drink the best wine, not sharing said wine, and personally 'interviewing' curvy women in his office before sending them to Heaven." Aqua says making Avicebron lean against a wall with a groan, and making Jeanne go limp on Musashi's shoulder while crying slightly.

Shakespeare writes every word, causing smoke to appear from his paper.

"It has to be fake…this can't be real…It just can't…"

"I'm sure you'll meet him one day! You're just his type! He loves busty blondes!" Aqua says with a big smile making Jeanne groan and cry while clutching her head before covering her ears.

Kazuma grabs Aqua's shoulder.

"I think she's been through enough…"

"She religious or something?"

"…She's the Saint of Orleans, Jeanne D'arc." Kazuma says, making Aqua pale.

"…The armor and her episode when she learned you caused the flood didn't give you a hint?" Rin asks.

"She caused what?" Avicebron, Shakespeare, and Mordred ask at the same time.

"I thought she was a cosplayer since she gave us directions…" Aqua says.

"O-on the Brightside, you're not going to Hell!" Musashi says.

"I'm already in Hell…"

'Can't make her dress up now…' Medea thinks with a frown at seeing the Saint smile and laugh with hollow eyes.

"I can show her Heav-"

"Fergus no!" Rin and Cu say at the same time, making Fergus slouch and grunt in sad disapproval.

alextheconqueror · Jan 18, 2026

Davos said:
'…Is there a hero that can do this?' Leticia asks.

'If there is, I have not heard of them.' Jeanne thinks while looking at the rows of geometrical nest houses in dozens of trees, rereading the sign that says 'Avian-lon" before a group of twig suit clad birds fly toward Jeanne, landing on a branch level with Jeanne's face.

There's a bird version of the guy with the flute that controls rats? I never remember his name

Davos said:
"Gweetings, Saint of Orleans."

'Awwww!' Leticia thinks in Jeanne's head.

That's incredibly cute

Davos said:
"If are you gwing to ask about our new found ability to speak your twongue, even with some troubles, our crow brethren deciphered your language and taught us…as for why, we are nwot entirely sure. We dew have stories from fworefathers, but that is not the purpose in our message to yew…"

"Then…what is your purpose?"

'Oh Lord, I'm talking with birds…'

'…Are we a princess now?'

This is not disney, and thank god for that

Davos said:
'Is there a single rule these people haven't broken? Least it can't get more absurd.'

When I find it I will tell you

Davos said:
"It is enroawching on our air space and plummeting the value of our homes. We seek your aid in destrowing it!"

"…You're doing this for real estate prices?"

"Ywes!"

Understandable, have a nice day

Davos said:
"Is it nwot your role to mwaintain some order in this war? And what order can there be if one side already has a gwail?"

Tbf, the black faction was the one that had it before and the battle was to recover it

Davos said:
"The Red faction has a grail? How would that even be possible?" Jeanne asks with crossed arms. The bird tweets and another arrives with a photograph, struggling to fly up to Jeanne with it. On the picture are Shirou, Semiramis, and Gilgamesh talking around a table with the grail.

Is this the normal grail or Gilhamesh's grail?

Davos said:
'Are…you ok Jeanne?'

'I just got pigeonholed into helping literal pigeons, and back to dealing with those two walking blonde migraines…I think I'm going to have that backrub when I return.' Jeanne thinks, and Leticia squeals in joy.

'You're no Saint~.'

'I'm not letting you take control when it happens.' Jeanne thinks, making Leticia gasp in horror and betrayal.

'You're no Saint!'

'I never claimed to be one…~'

She got you there Leticia

Davos said:
Caelus finds himself in front of Medea's room, still unsure what to say. Fran nudges him.

'It won't get easier if you wait. I doubt she'll attack you.'

"I know…but I am not that good at consoling people…especially for such unique reasons." He says before knocking on the door.

You are too good for this war Caelus

Davos said:
"It's open!" Medea yells back in an oddly chipper tone. Caelus and Fran enter the room, both of them stunned at the sight before them.

Musashi is in a checkered two piece race girl outfit, complete with long boots and a flag posing as Medea takes pictures.

Knew it, also glad that Medea agrees that Musashi rocks the americanized look

Davos said:
"…I was going to try and cheer you up, but I see that is not needed now." Caelus says, trying not to look at Musashi as she stays leaning on a box, her other twin blades barely contained.

"Oh…I'm actually quite sad…but I know how you can help~." Medea says before looking at Fran, a dress in her other hand.

'Oh God…She's just like Fergus!'

Nah, one wants to bed you the other wants to bed/marry you. Funny thing you just needed to say you are not interested and he would stop, struggling against him is like foreplay, like every celts mate ritual.

Davos said:
'…I doubt she'll attack you.' Caelus thinks with a grin, getting a glare from Fran as he is dragged out of the room.

I give it a 50/50

Davos said:
"We must return to the castle and-"

"No." Emiya says, cutting off Kojiro.

Maintain that attitude, you will need it

Davos said:
"…Can I at least walk?" MHX asks with flat eyes.

"Will you go off and attack someone?"

"…I'll try not to."

Let's see how long it lasts

Davos said:
Kojiro lets MHX back on the ground and she tears up.

Then she draws her blade.

"It hasn't even been 5 seconds! What is making you-"

"Archer…" Artoria says, Lancelot next to her with his blade ready in one hand, and an unconscious Gordes in the other as he stares down MHX.

Her saber radar is inmaculate

Davos said:
"Why are you so far away from the castle?"

"We are now the F-" Lancelot stops when Artoria presses her sword against his neck.

"That…is not important now. How goes your search for that wretch?"

They are french now

Davos said:
"No progress yet."

"Would you welcome aid in the endeavor?"

"Yes…I would like at least one sane person."

"I'm sane!" Kojiro and MHX say at the same time, making the other look flatly at the other.

You are not, neither is Artoria

Davos said:
"I'm Emiya."

"Lancelot." He says, taking the hand after dropping Gordes to the ground, freezing at the groan a moment before picking him back up.

'Never expected Lancelot to have such grim armor…' Emiya thinks before filling them in on what little they know.

He has a more white knight-ish look as a Saber

Davos said:
"Why won't you die?!" Mordred shouts as she is parried once more.

"How can I die against a pretty girl trying to kill me? What kind of man do you think I am?!" Fergus shouts, momentarily stunning Mordred before they continue.

That's Sigurd type of logic, kinda based

Davos said:
"…How long do you think they can keep this up?" Kazuma asks.

"Going by his appearance, I think Fergus can easily go a few days." Cu says.

"I'd say the same with Mordred." Kairi says.

Yeah, their endurance is hiiigh

Davos said:
"…So why was the blonde knight panting again?" Jack asks, making Kairi mutter something about walking his skeleton and Cu goes outside.

"She has a habit of lowering her guard on her left side!" He shouts.

"Thanks Cu!"

"Bastard!" Mordred says.

"Isn't that you?" Cu asks with a smirk and one eye closed, making Mordred now take a swing at him and making it a three way brawl.

Surprised it took this long

Davos said:
'You bastards left me alone with this question!...But I know how to handle this…~' Kazuma thinks before going over to Darkness and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"She can explain."

The brain of the group everybody

Davos said:
Reika pinches Jack's cheek.

"That's enough Jack, you know what sex is, so stop teasing the depraved young man."

But little troll Jackie was priceless

Davos said:
"…You do know she is the collective of London's abused and forgotten orphans right? What do you think happened to some of them?"

That0s dark

Davos said:
"…So she was just making us uncomfortable on purpose?" Kazuma asks before looking down at a smirking Jack.

Kazuma raises his hand.

Rin points a finger gun at him.

"I was going to steal her water." Kazuma says, making Jack squeak.

Not taking any chances

Davos said:
"Thanks big sis!" Jack says, making Rin look away.

Her desire to be a big sister overpowered her

Davos said:
"Have you checked the graveyard?" Saber asks.

"He refuses because I suggested that earlier." MHX says.

"Never mind then, I am sure there is nothing there." Saber says, making MHX start to unsheathe her blade again.

This is like Abridged Alucard and the Nazis. the fact that both MHX and Crimson Fucker are right make it better

Davos said:
'Not sure I like seeing an alternate version of myself handled by him…especially after what he told me what transpired that one night in an abandoned-' Saber stops the thought when bile starts to rise in her throat. Then she sees Jeanne approach them sullenly from afar.

Let's be honest you are just grossed because he is an alternate version of Shirou Emiya

Davos said:
Saber raises her blade.

She feels something warm land on her head, dripping down her face, others nearby looking in shock and disgust.

Except MHX who smiles broadly.

"Oh God…" Saber mutters before another warm plop lands on her head, now making Jeanne smile.

'Worth delaying that backrub~.' Jeanne thinks.

Agreed

Davos said:
'Briseur de Serment!' Leticia thinks at her.

Why are you calling her Oathbreaker? She wasn't even going to let you take control during it

Davos said:
"…After everything, you think I would agree?" Artoria asks.

Weren't you the one that started all hostilities?

Davos said:
"You would have an opportunity to kill the King of Heroes." Jeanne says, making Artoria pause.

"Well?"

"I'm listening…"

And that's how you convince an Artoria

Davos said:
"I see little point in this endeavor. Does the Red side even have any Sabers?" MHX asks.

"…They have servants who could become Sabers." Jeanne says.

"Absurd, a Servant can't change class mid war." Emiya says.

"I did." Lancelot says.

I still doubt it actually worked

Davos said:
"Yes I became a Caster and got a self sufficient core now without a- woah!" Lancelot dodges Kojiro's blade.

"You must die!"

"Why?!"

"All Casters must die!" Kojiro says as MHX slashes at Lancelot.

Lancelot messing it up, story as old as time

Davos said:
"If you can become a Caster, then it is only a matter of time before you become a vile Saber!" MHX says before taking another swing, only to be stopped by Artoria.

He is already a qualified Saber though

Davos said:
"You will not harm him. That is my privilege!"

"My king!" Lancelot says with tears coming out of his helm as he holds back Kojiro's blade.

This would be more heartfelt if not for how ridiculous it is

Davos said:
Emiya and Jeanne cup their heads at the sight before them.

"Sorry about my colleagues…"

"Don't worry about it…I have little love for those two…"

Neither of us

Davos said:
"But I am curious how you plan to approach them when they have aerial superiority."

"They don' have aerial superiority." Jeanne says with a vacant smile, confusing Emiya as another warm dropping land on Artoria.

HA!

Davos said:
Astolfo meets them again by the gate, looking flatly at Ruler.

"I really don't think Vlady will take those three back…or these two….how do you keep getting servants?"

"That's not why I am here…"

"…Ok. I'll get them." Astolfo says.

"You're not going to try and dissuade me?"

"It'll be more fun this way~." He says and a few minutes later Vlad is squinting at Jeanne, occasionally looking at Saber.

Classic Astolfo

Davos said:
"We are not taking them back…and why are there two more servants?"

Are you even surprised at this point? You did the same

Davos said:
"We're Counter Guardians…her as well." Emiya says, gesturing to MHX.

"We are not breaking any rules or threatening humanity." Darnic says.

We both know that's a long shot

Davos said:
"…This is…quite a surprise. I do not know what we can do, but we should include Caster and Saber in this discussion. I am sure she can help. Caelus?"

I wouldn't do this if I was you

Davos said:
Saber turns to leave the room.

"Where are you-" Emiya starts to ask but Saber ignores him.

I'll tell you where, far from here

Davos said:
A minute later, Medea enters along with Musashi in a blue cocktail dress, and Musashi freezes with pale cheeks at seeing Kojiro.

Yeah, here it comes

Davos said:
Medea stops upon seeing MHX, smiling at her and making MHX shiver.

Don't worry you are a comedy character, she can't mindbreak you or even lewd you, wait this is a fanfic, RUN MHX, RUN!!

Davos said:
"I will handle the Saber."

"No you will not…she is mine." Kojiro says, making Musashi look away a moment.

"…I think I would rather fight the Saber then this grinning Caster."

This one is personal

Davos said:
"Allow me to guess…met in the prior war?" Vlad asks with a hand at his head as Kojiro and MHX charge forward, trying to kill Musashi and Medea.

More like prior life in Musashi and Kojiro's case but yeah, basically

Davos said:
'Take care of Kojiro, I'll distract her~.'

'I…would rather not fight him…' Musashi thinks while evading and parrying Kojiro.

'What? But you defeating him is a core part of your legend!' Medea thinks while blasting MHX back with a burst of mana.

Well, that's male PHH Musashi, female Musashi is a variant that travelled between worlds until she died in Shimousa after fighting Kojiro. and I mean both died as result of the battle

Davos said:
"Enough! We are not here to fight, we have a common enemy and-"

Jeanne startles when Medea suddenly appears in front of her with a jagged knife, bringing the knife onto Jeanne's shoulder, making everyone stare open mouthed.

"Are you insane?!" Darnic shouts.

We clarified she is a long time ago

Davos said:
"I don't want to hurt you Saber~." Medea says.

"I'm not a Saber."

Yeah we only saw her as a Lancer

Davos said:
"That is not-" Jeanne stops the same time as 31 command seals appear on Medea's arm.

"…What in the…" Jeanne and Medea mutter at the same time in wide eyed shock.

And here we are, rule breaking again

Davos said:
"Medea…do you have any idea what you just did?" Emiya asks.

No she didn't

Davos said:
"Not an inkling…I thought she was a Saber or Lancer Servant…why are there so many Command Seals?! Who are- AH!" Jeanne's fist smashes into Medea's face, blood dripping down her face now as she returns to the air.

See, and being honest kinda deserved

Davos said:
"Die Musashi!" Kojiro shouts while slashing away.

"C-can we do this later, I think we have bigger problems!"

Like he cares at this point

Davos said:
"I can't believe I am saying this, but I agree with the Saber! Oh God, I'm gonna be sick…" MHX says, getting a sharpened flag tip near her face.

That took a toll on you huh

Davos said:
"Don't you dare use his name you blonde wretch!" Jeanne says.

"Hey, I'm on your side!"

As I said before, like she cares a this point

Davos said:
"Three blonde Sabers?!" Medea shouts before shouting in fright upon Jeanne's flag nearly impaling her, instead impaling her cloak to a pillar.

Only one of them is a Saber, two if we count Mordred but she didn't saw him, we need to be glad she didn't saw Artoria Lily

Davos said:
"I am a Ruler!"

"That explains the command seal amount."

"…Sounds like you we're a Ruler." Saber says, making a needle eyed Jeanne glare at her.

Poking the nest the first chance you got

Davos said:
"By my Command Seal, do not harm Saber!" Medea shouts.

"WHY?!" Jeanne shouts with her soul, making Saber laugh.

Huh, deja vu

Davos said:
"Why are you laughing?" Emiya asks.

"When she was my Master, she issued an order that made me react the same way…it is rather delightful seeing the Saint get her comeuppance…or should I say 'justice poetique'~?" Saber asks, the last two words with a French accent, her smile faltering when Jeanne looks at her with twitching eyes…one of them turning yellow for a moment before she takes a deep breath.

It's not Poetic justice when you were and still are clearly the villain here, alongside Medea but being in different sides

Davos said:
"What's so important that you need me here? I was just about to finish a gol-" The swish of air breaking near him makes him stop. Looking down he sees his hand with Command Seals over Medea has been cut off.

That was completely unnecessary, you only needed to use Rule breaker, you know, like you did with your last summoner

He stares at his stump as Medea takes the hand and soon the command seals for herself, effectively freeing herself of all control.

Emiya, Kojiro, and Saber all pale.

Vlad stands and raises his spear at last.
[/QUOTE]
Why didn't you did something before!? You could had ended this from the start with your broken NP when in Romania!

Davos said:
"…I really do not want to shoot at a relative of Lady Aqua." Chiron says while readying his bow.

"That brat is here?" Medea asks.

Appropiate answer to Aqua being here

Davos said:
"My hand!"

"Be quiet." Medea says before making another hand appear on his stump. Roche tinkers with it a bit and shoots out mana from it, now smiling fully.

...I'm seeing a pattern

Davos said:
"Oh Gods damn it Medea! I just talked him out of taking pot shots at every possible chance with his other hand!"

"Wait, his other hand is a- actually I don't really care enough….Oh Saaaaaber~!" Medea says while turning around, stopping at seeing Saber raise her blade above her head.

"EX-"

This casttle is not surviving more of this

Davos said:
"…It appears Castle Yggdmillennia is in worse shape than we thought. They are missing a wall now." Semiramis says before bright beam of light is seen, making another wall evaporate, and causing everyone to come to the same conclusion.

'Saber is there.' They think with dread.

Again, understandable reaction

Davos said:
"Set a course for that castle." He says.

"No."

"I'm not asking." Gilgamesh says.

"I'm not listening!" Semiramis says.

"That's a first." Atlanta says with crossed arms while leaning against a pillar, making Semiramis ball a fist.

Ha, got you there

Davos said:
"We have the Grail, we have no reason to seek a fight yet."

"Oh? I'm surprised you are not simply leaving with your prize." Gilgamesh says.

"The Grail is not my only purpose King of Heroes…but I would rather not deal with that Saber or her similarly deranged cohorts at this time…"

Shame you are the main villain, you feel like a good fella

Davos said:
"A shame. I have plenty of matters to settle with both Saber and that Faker."

Are you still salty about your death and rejection? I mean kinda valid but come one

Davos said:
"Then you will do so on your own." Shirou says, purposefully tapping with the hand that has Gilgamesh's command seals.

"Hmph." Gilgamesh turns and walks to Achilles.

"…I'm not taking you there."

Also don't you have Vimana? You know a fucing spaceship that you used as a flying throne because you wanted to stylish

Davos said:
"I see no reason to respect your wishes…or are you really going to try and fight me?"

"…What about Lady Aqua?" Achilles asks, suppressing a smile as Gilgamesh flinches.

"What about her? You expect me to believe you are one of her followers?"

"No, but my teacher was on good terms with her, and I am sure she will be more than open to helping me if she were to hear you bother me."

Damm, Achilles disrespecting the king like nothing, this is why you are goated

Davos said:
"Not my fault you made your weakness so obvious…Why wouldn't I go after your… Achilles heel?" He asks with a smile, making everyone groan. Gilgamesh stares at him a moment before leaving.

'The TV is worse, the Shirou is worse, everything in this Grail War is worse…' He thinks.

Quantity over quality brother, not my fault you are used to both

Davos said:
"…Is it because of Vlad's recent additions to his legend you are resistant to approaching?" Karna asks.

"What recent additions? I thought he was a warlord?" Achilles asks.

"Yes, but his name is more famous from a vampire novel and subsequent similar works."

"What exactly is a vampire?" Achilles asks.

Something like, a syren I guess? I know Greece had a vampire equivalent monster

Davos said:
'This is the worst Grail War…' Achilles thinks.

Be glad you aren't in snowfield

Davos said:
"Let me go! Father needs help!" Mordred says as Cu and Fergus struggle to pull her back.

"She does not need help!" Kazuma shouts.

She actually doesn't

Davos said:
"If father is using Excalibur, he must be facing a truly troublesome foe!"

Or a pest she wants squished

Davos said:
"I agree with him…It would be better to wait for them to destroy each other." Kairi says.

"But we have plenty of firepower! We have 3 Sabers, 1 decent Caster, Jacky, and your party!" Mordred shouts.

He even counted Shakespeare

Davos said:
"Don't include my party in plans, it'll only complicate things." Kazuma says, making Aqua pout, Megumin glower, and Darkness moan.

Rin looks at them flatly.

He isn't even lying

Davos said:
"…I am decent. Even without my Noble Phantasm-" Shakespeare says, making Jack and Mordred pale before continuing.

"I can enhance items and weapons to damage Servants."

Yeah, the writers are OP as supports

Davos said:
"I can enhance items and weapons. If you had a sword I could write about it as a blade that cuts anything, and it would harm Servants even if the wielder is human…that said, it would only be comparable to a C rank Noble Phantasm." Shakespeare says as Darkness grabs his shoulder.

"…Are you able to make a sword able to hit anything despite the wielder's inaccuracy?'

Yes he can, and that's just hrunting

Davos said:
"It is for me. Bless my blade!"

'…I'm actually curious if he can override Darkness' inability to hit anything.' Kazuma thinks as Aqua hands him his sword as Shakespeare writes.

"This blade is now blessed with the eye of the eagle, able to hit its mark by reversing causality!" He says and the blade glows brightly a moment, the light slowly fading to a slight glow upon Darkness' sword.

"You uncreative copycat! That's just plagiarism!" Cu shouts.

And I'm surprised he didn't go for Hrunting, but yours is better though

Davos said:
"I christen your blade Fenrir's tooth! It can cut through anything!" Shakespeare says as Kazuma's blade begins to glow before quickly becoming dull.

"Strange…the glow should last a moment longer…does your sword already have a name?" Shakespeare asks and Kazuma frowns.

Oh poor boy

Davos said:
"I cannot change the name, but I can still enhance it if I know its true name."

"…Chunchunmaru." Kazuma says, getting a few giggles from most everyone present.

Even Jack struggles to keep her laughter in check.

Mordred just laughs outright.

Yeah, expected it

Davos said:
"What kind of ridiculous name is that?" Shakespeare asks, paling when a giant earth hand grabs him.

"I chose that name." Megumin says.

"…Did I say ridiculous? I meant ridiculously amazing!"

Megumin doesn't believe him and tosses him into a tree.

The name is ridiculous Megumin, accept it

Davos said:
"CALIBUR!" Saber shouts, erasing a wall from existence.

Unfortunately Medea and Jeanne are still alive.

One from avoiding, the other from shrugging it off.

Not surprided, doesn't look like that killed anyone besides Gilgamesh

Davos said:
"What?!"

"I am Servant who could easily be in a situation to fight 14 Servants. You think you alone can kill me, Queen of Blights?" Jeanne says, making Artoria grit her teeth before having to dodge a spike meant to impale her.

Yeah, Ruler is the second best to fight other heroes, just behind Savers

Davos said:
"This is far enough! Though I can understand your fury Saber, I cannot-"

"HER fury?!" Jeanne shouts, drawing Vlad's glare.

Honestly, valid crashout

Davos said:
'J-Jeanne I think you need to take a deep breath!' Leticia says.

'I need to kill something…and I know who~.'

'But what about the Command Seal?' Leticia asks in Jeanne's head.

Magic resistance exists for a reason

Davos said:
"…Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise?" Lancelot says, drawing confused and enraged looks from everyone present.

"Why do you say that Lancelot?" Emiya asks, his blades in hand.

"Wasn't one of your goals to kill someone? Sure, it's a bit unconventional having Ruler lose her Ruler status, but having another Servant in the hunt for-"

I know where this is going and I just need to say, TELL HER LANCELOT!

Davos said:
"Don't say his name Lancelot!" Saber shouts.

"Why? What would be the issue in saying Kazuma's name my King?"

"Kazuma's here?!" Medea asks, making Saber frown.

HE SAID IT!

Davos said:
"…They were comrades in the last war." Emiya says.

"…I truly made error haven't I?" Lancelot asks, Artoria's silence all the answer he needs; that and Medea firing a shot of magic through the ceiling to act as a firework.

For Saber yes, for me, you did good

Davos said:
"By my Command Seal, find and drink holy water!" Medea says and Vlad starts walking out of the room, looking for holy water, muttering the entire time. Musashi kicks Kojiro out a window.

That's diabolical

Davos said:
"Musashi, grab Saber premium! We have to go!"

"I am not- wait…premium?" Jeanne asks with rising dread.

"Because you're curvier!"

She may not be a saber but she sure is premium, we also have an actual Saber in Lakhsmii Bai, wich is basically tanned Jeanne

Davos said:
'Leticia, is murder still a sin?' Jeanne asks as Musashi hefts her onto her shoulder.

'Yes…But I'm not sure God can judge you too harshly after the last few days.'

If anything he would commend your patience

Davos said:
"…For what it is worth Saint, I would not wish this on you." Saber says while keeping distance away from the fleeing Medea and Musashi.

But not enough to try to help her huh

Davos said:
"Wait…why are we taking her with us?" Musashi asks.

"Look at her. She'll look good in so many outfits!"

"Sweet a model sister!"

Not surprised Musashi is into this

Davos said:
"…I think I'm starting to miss being burned at the stake…"

Harsh but fair

Davos said:
"Oh my God…I think that's Medea!" Kazuma says upon seeing the magic salvo.

"…How many Servants does that make now?" Cu asks.

I lost count after 17

Davos said:
"The better question…is the Witch of Betrayal single?" Fergus asks with a hand at his chin.

I mean technically

Davos said:
"She prefers her guys leaner." Cu says.

"Oh my, I didn't know you already met her~."

"Not like that…I accidentally killed her master who was also her darling."

"Oh…"

Yeah, not the best first impression

Davos said:
"Aqua, use create water!" Kazuma says.

"Why?"

"So Medea can find us!"

"I…don't think that's a good idea Kazuma. Medea isn't exactly the nicest person after her failed marriage."

That's downplaying it

Davos said:
"We already met before and are basically friends."

"…Figures you would make friends with her. I'm gonna go some distance away so we don't broadcast our hideout's exact spot." Aqua says before casting 'create water' some distance away. A few minutes later Medea arrives with Musashi and a sullen Jeanne.

I mean, are you surprised? They are very similar, though Kazuma is less, you know, "evil"

Davos said:
"How did you get yourself dragged into another Grail War young man?"

"I blame humanity."

"…Alaya?" Medea asks and Kazuma gives a thumbs up.

I love how she rolls with it XD

Davos said:
"…Feel like I'm missing something here…" Musashi says.

An explanation for later

Davos said:
"Not until you try these on!" Medea says, bringing out a bag of clothes.

"Where did that come from?! We didn't stop by a store!"

"It's magic~."

Yeah, that tracks

Davos said:
"…Not like this can be any worse than learning everything I knew about God was wrong."

"You weren't wrong. The God in the bible is real." Aqua says, making Jeanne smile with tears in her eyes.

I feel a but here

Davos said:
"Oh thank the Lord, it isn't you!"

"Yeah, but he's a real bastard." Aqua says, making everyone but Darkness and Megumin look at her aghast.

"He doesn't really do much anymore aside from drink the best wine, not sharing said wine, and personally 'interviewing' curvy women in his office before sending them to Heaven." Aqua says making Avicebron lean against a wall with a groan, and making Jeanne go limp on Musashi's shoulder while crying slightly.

I wouldn't believe Aqua in Jeanne's place, in part because it's Aqua and in part because I know that the bible god is playing 4d chess against Outer gods to avoid them invading the planet
Yes, this is the lore, yes the angels were made to fight outer gods, and the most funny part, they have a a martial arts style called Jacobs limb and somehow Saint Martha knows it

Davos said:
Shakespeare writes every word, causing smoke to appear from his paper.

Not judging him, this is peak for him

Davos said:
"It has to be fake…this can't be real…It just can't…"

"I'm sure you'll meet him one day! You're just his type! He loves busty blondes!" Aqua says with a big smile making Jeanne groan and cry while clutching her head before covering her ears.

Not helping!

Davos said:
Kazuma grabs Aqua's shoulder.

"I think she's been through enough…"

"She religious or something?"

"…She's the Saint of Orleans, Jeanne D'arc." Kazuma says, making Aqua pale.

And here comes the consequences of your actions

Davos said:
"…The armor and her episode when she learned you caused the flood didn't give you a hint?" Rin asks.

She's Aqua, obviously not

Davos said:
"She caused what?" Avicebron, Shakespeare, and Mordred ask at the same time.

Story for another time

Davos said:
"O-on the Brightside, you're not going to Hell!" Musashi says.

"I'm already in Hell…"

Ouch, this is really her bottom

Davos said:
'Can't make her dress up now…' Medea thinks with a frown at seeing the Saint smile and laugh with hollow eyes.

Color me impressed, she have limits

Davos said:
"I can show her Heav-"

"Fergus no!" Rin and Cu say at the same time, making Fergus slouch and grunt in sad disapproval.

Not the time bro

l---erddad---l · Jan 18, 2026

alextheconqueror said:
I wouldn't believe Aqua in Jeanne's place, in part because it's Aqua and in part because I know that the bible god is playing 4d chess against Outer gods to avoid them invading the planet
Yes, this is the lore, yes the angels were made to fight outer gods, and the most funny part, they have a a martial arts style called Jacobs limb and somehow Saint Martha knows it

I believe you are mixing up the Nasuverse with the Dresden Files, possibly from the Nasuverse/Dresden Files crossover where Dresden is summoned in the 4th HGW?

In the Nasuverse, we know less about God than we know about the Buddha, and all we know about the Buddha is that he's real, he's just the canonical-to-Buddhism Buddha, and you can summon a lesser version of him from the Throne of Heroes.

God, meanwhile, we know exists, we know is either an aspect of the Counter Force or is an aspect of the Root. Past that we have very little knowledge about God's actual existence in the nasuverse.

alextheconqueror · Jan 19, 2026

l---erddad---l said:
I believe you are mixing up the Nasuverse with the Dresden Files, possibly from the Nasuverse/Dresden Files crossover where Dresden is summoned in the 4th HGW?

In the Nasuverse, we know less about God than we know about the Buddha, and all we know about the Buddha is that he's real, he's just the canonical-to-Buddhism Buddha, and you can summon a lesser version of him from the Throne of Heroes.

God, meanwhile, we know exists, we know is either an aspect of the Counter Force or is an aspect of the Root. Past that we have very little knowledge about God's actual existence in the nasuverse.

We actually learned more about Godthanks to Metatron Jeanne and some side lore about Jacob's limbs, like the fact that the angels(who can act as mystic codes as seen with Metatron Jeanne) were made by him, at least the normal ones, we also can inquire from the creation of Jacobs limbs that they are made to be warriors in most parts since Jacob's limb was made from wrestling an Angel.
I'll be honest I don't know where I read the "God is fighting outer gods" but I know it had nothing to do with that crossover, mainly by the fact that I don't even know, read or even are interested in Dresden files nor even knew that crossover existed.
Ngl I use it more as a headcanon than anything since I also am not sure about if it's canon or fanon since how hard it's to differentiate it in the Nasuverse but wouldn't be surprised if it's actually true
Still willing to believe this more than whatever Aqua says though, because It's Aqua

Davos · Jan 19, 2026

These last 3 comments made me realize I need to get back to fgo...At least I think that's where the God lore came from?

alextheconqueror · Jan 19, 2026

Davos said:
These last 3 comments made me realize I need to get back to fgo...At least I think that's where the God lore came from?

Mostly yes, also It's weird that I can see God acting as the better Counter force he is and sending someone to mitigate all this train wrecks happening? Only to also take a piece out of Aqua(verbally) who really likes to mud the reputation of any God she can
I can't stop thinking about this, Davos make this happen even if it's an Omake and my soul is yours

Davos · Jan 19, 2026

alextheconqueror said:
Mostly yes, also It's weird that I can see God acting as the better Counter force he is and sending someone to mitigate all this train wrecks happening? Only to also take a piece out of Aqua(verbally) who really likes to mud the reputation of any God she can
I can't stop thinking about this, Davos make this happen even if it's an Omake and my soul is yours

A very tempting idea.

alextheconqueror · Jan 19, 2026

Davos said:
A very tempting idea.

If you do, I recommend you trying with Saint Martha for the funny saint that suplex dragons or Noah because Aqua is here and he was the one to clean her mess

Davos · Jan 19, 2026

alextheconqueror said:
If you do, I recommend you trying with Saint Martha for the funny saint that suplex dragons or Noah because Aqua is here and he was the one to clean her mess

Hmmm....I do recall liking Martha, but I am unsure about adding even more characters to this ending.

alextheconqueror · Jan 19, 2026

Davos said:
Hmmm....I do recall liking Martha, but I am unsure about adding even more characters to this ending.

Fair enough, just an idea

Davos · Jan 19, 2026

alextheconqueror said:
Fair enough, just an idea

Might make an Omake after the next few chapters before the next ending.

Davos · Jan 19, 2026

"I'm God's type…hehehe…I'm a pretty girl…hahaha…!" Jeanne mutters while enveloping herself in Jack's heated blanket.

"It'll…get better?" Jack says while patting Jeanne.

Avicebron leans against the wall in equal despair.

"…How many tragedies occurred while God was busy?"

Aqua looks to the ground in self reproach, sad enough that Kazuma knows it is genuine and refrains from hitting or yelling at her.

"…I have to ask, why were you so hesitant about fighting Kojiro?" Medea asks, and Musashi scratches her cheek.

"It's…really mortifying to be perfectly honest…"

"But you won. Everyone from Japan knows how your duel ended." Rin says, further deflating Musashi.

"Yeah, that's part of it…"

"…There is a lot of difference between what happened and what is remembered isn't there?" Kazuma asks.

"Yeah…I really don't like talking about it…especially with a motley crew I just met. No offense."

"None taken. I wouldn't share my secrets with this untrustworthy looking man either." Fergus says while punching Cu in the arm.

"Cause you're a paragon?" Cu says, hitting him back.

"I am fairly certain most of us are villains or antiheroes." Shakespeare says.

"I'm not a villain!" Mordred says.

"You directly caused the collapse of your kingdom with your rebellion, including the death of your father." Shakespeare says, making Mordred groan before remaining quiet.

"I'm a Goddess." Aqua says.

"And a fool that causes trouble wherever you go." He answers back, gesturing to Jeanne.

"He has a point." Kazuma and Rin say.

Aqua naturally tears up.

"I'm just a philosopher and poet who dabbles in creation magic." Avicebron says.

"Who would sacrifice a child."

"I chose this!" Megumin says from outside while tinkering with a possible cape of moss.

"…and I doubt I need to explain Medea." Shakespeare says, making Jack stare at Avicebron and Medea.

"…Why are you looking at me?" Medea asks.

"We're a child victim. We're sure you can figure that out." Jack says while pulling out a knife. Kazuma pales as Medea raises her hand to use a command seal.

"And one of the most notorious and infamous killers in the world; only reason you haven't been killed is because you engender sympathy by looking like a child." Shakespeare says.

Jack curls up on Jeanne's lap, enjoying the warmth with a tear in her eye as Jeanne vacantly pats her head as Reika grabs the bard by the neck.

"What the Hell has gotton into you, ya second rate writer?" Reika asks, making Shakespeare gasp.

"How dare you! I'll pen that you have crippling depression and make your life terrible!"

"Been there, done that, why do you think I traveled half way around the world with Jack despite the killing into a magical super war?" Reika says while cracking a knuckle with one hand, making Shakespeare sweat.

"…Would you pardon me if I said it was to vent building frustration and because I believe the final epic absurdity is approaching and I do not want to have regrets by leaving things unsaid?" Shakespeare asks.

Reika smiles before throwing Shakespeare through the window and stepping outside, cracking her other knuckle.

"Kick his ass momma!" Jack says from Jeanne's lap.

"Language…oh it doesn't matter anymore…" Jeanne says.

===

"What do you mean the Ruler isn't a Ruler anymore?! What does that have to do with getting the concept and killing Kazuma? And how would that even happen?!" Alaya asks from a rip inside the castle.

"…After repeated trouble in finding them, we thought temporarily recruiting their aid would find them." Emiya says.

"…I forgot to tell you where they are didn't I?" Alaya asks.

"I thought you couldn't because of a massive influx of mana messing with your senses?" MHX asks.

"Oh, it got better like a day or two ago." Alaya says, making Emiya wince.

"So where are they? The castle in the sky?"

"No, the graveyard!" Alaya says and MHX stares into Emiya's back with the intensity of infinite daggers.

"Not a word, you have been eccentric and semi deranged at best this whole time, how can I have known your Saber senses were on point?"

"Oh I'm deranged?!"

"By your own words, you have admitted to being not of this world." Saber says,

MHX takes a swing at her as Kojiro enters the room.

"If we know their location, we must pursue them and kill Musashi!"

"Not Medea?" Emiya asks with a flat tone, making both blondes pale a moment.

"I'd rather not be anywhere near her…" MHX says.

"Likewise…but it is only a matter of time before she seeks us out." Saber says before extending a hand.

"You expect me to shake hands with a Saber?"

"How about a comrade with every reason to fight alongside you against a shared enemy?" Saber asks and despite the body wide shiver, MHX shakes the hand.

"That said, I need to punish Lancelot first."

Lancelot gasps in joy.

More so when Artoria brings out some chain.

"Tie yourself to the support beam so if you flee it'll crush you." Artoria says and Lancelot does as she orders, making sure the chains are extra snug, ensuring he is constricted.

"…You had no way of knowing the disaster your words would bring, so I do not blame you."

"What…?"

"You are a most honorable knight."

"My King!? Why?!" Lancelot asks, straining the chains and pillar, making dust fall from the ceiling.

"Because, this is the only way you'll truly suffer…as befitting an icon of chivalry."

"Noooooooo!"

'Chiron…I'm not sure why, but this feels very degenerate and something Fergus would do.' Fiore thinks at her servant.

'I don't think Fergus is much for…talking. But I agree. I'll go and get Astolfo so we can use his speed to catch up to-' Chiron stops when he enters the hall, seeing Astolfo slung over Celenike's shoulder, a rag in her other hand .

"…Did you chloroform your servant?"

"He needs to suffer for siccing that blonde knight on me."

"You bunch may want to save the foreplay for later, you can probably still manage a rescue if you hurry."

"This is not that!...but I agree. The Saint needs our help." Saber says.

"Not her, she's useless now! I was talking about the other one!" Alaya says in a chipper tone.

"Other one?" A dozen people ask.

===

"Everyone we have a problem!" Reika shouts upon reentering the catacomb, dragging a bloodied and bruised Shakespeare behind her.

"Is he dead?" Kairi asks.

"No, he's alive, but I'm talking about him!" Reika says and a moment later Kazuma's 'enemy detection' goes insane, nearly deafening him. He cautiously looks outside and sees the cause approaching them at a brisk walking pace.

It is Vlad the Impaler.

"…Why the Hell is he here?!"

===

"Why the Hell is he approaching the graveyard?!" Emiya asks.

"I don't know. Maybe he has Romania Radar? Though I'm sure you'll disregard that too." MHX says while looking squarely at Emiya.

"Will you let that go?"

"Like you did with the objective this whole time?" MHX says.

"…You're as petty as a Saber." Emiya says, making MHX draw both her blades.

"I should have known from the start…you are a vile dual wielding Saber! Prepare to return to the Servant verse!"

'…And I thought I was the Berserker here…' Fran thinks as steel clashing rings out.

===

'…Why in the Hell am I at a cemetery?' Vlad thinks before seeing a dozen persons emerge from a catacomb in the distance.

He recognizes Medea and grins.

'Fate truly works in strange ways…'

"Ok, he is still far away, we should have enough time to-"

"Cruaidin Setanta!" Cu shouts and a beam of light charges toward the Impaler, the heat of the beam burning the ground as it passes over to scorched Earth.

Vlad deflects the beam before it hits him.

"…He can do that?" Cu asks before taking a knee. Kazuma hands him some water.

"He gets a massive boost from fighting in his homeland…and you accuse me of plagiarism with that Excalibur knock off? And talk about uncreative…it has your name in the title!" Shakespeare says from the ground.

Fergus rushes forward, blade raised.

"It is time to find out if I can best Count Dracula!" Fergus says, making Vlad scowl as their fight begins. Despite his bravado, Fergus quickly loses ground. Cu stands up after a drink and runs forward along with Mordred and Musashi, fighting the Impaler four to one and still find themselves on the back foot.

'Why is he here?! Even if he followed the water from Aqua, he should not have been able to disobey a Command Seal!' Medea thinks while firing a salvo as one of the Sabers gets tossed aside.

Vlad dodges it and quickly knocks out another Saber as Megumin approaches in her golem armor, only for it to be destroyed by a dozen spikes, leaving her unharmed but shaken.

Avicebron sics dozens of familiars upon Vlad while also cuffing his limbs in earth. He alternates between destroying a familiar, deflecting an attacks, and destroying the cuffs without missing a step until all of his familiars are gone and the Sabers are further pressed back.

He reaches out and grabs Jack by the throat before she can stab him, tossing her at Mordred, sending the two back before turning towards Kazuma and the others.

'Crap crap crap! Wait he is still far a-'

The next moment Vlad is right in front of them, his prior traveling unseen by them.

He turns towards Aqua.

Shakespeare raises a hand.

"First-"

A spike stabs through his hand, interrupting him from casting his Noble Phantasm.

Medea raises her hand at last.

"By my Command-" She gets punched in the liver and falls to the ground before being kicked by the Impaler, defending herself from his kicks before feeling another leg hitting her… Glancing upward she sees a smiling Jeanne.

"Why?!" Medea asks, getting faster and harder kicks from Jeanne as her answer.

"Great…another deranged blonde…" Kazuma mutters, making Jeanne turn with a crack of her neck, now looking at Kazuma with half yellow eyes.

Vlad resumes walking towards Aqua who is backing away.

Darkness takes a swing at Vlad with her newly blessed blade.

She misses.

"How?!" Kazuma and Shakespeare ask in abject shock.

"….I suspect my high magic resistance is working against your blessing." Darkness says with forlorn expression as Vlad smacks her away, making her crash against a wall.

"Apologies Lady Dustiness, I do not harbor any ill will towards you."

"W-why are you approaching?"

"I do not know."

"Oh it must be because you're undead! Then I have nothing to fear!" Aqua says with a smug grin and fists on her hips as a vein appears on Vlad's head.

"I am not-"

"Turn Undead!" Aqua says, making a sigil and light appear, purifying Vlad the Impaler.

He still remains, unaffected by the spell.

"S-Sacred Turn Undead!" Aqua shouts and the result is the same.

Aqua turns and runs crying.

Vlad also runs.

"Why are you chasing me?!"

"I do not kn-wait a minute…" Vlad says, realization hitting him as he continues chasing Aqua.

"Are you part divine by any chance?"

"No, I'm fully divine!"

"Ah that must be why…"

"What are you talking about?! And stop chasing me!"

"I will after I drink you!"

Aqua screams and runs faster.

Vlad also runs faster.

Medea pales under Jeanne's kicking.

Kazuma reluctantly places a hand on Jeanne, making her slow a moment as she looks at him.

"Can you…give her a minute? I think she knows what is happening."

"I need this…You have no idea what I've been through the last few days. I had to put up with a masochistic knight, an absurdly eccentric young woman, and a horrible blue thing that annoyed me to no end! And that was all before this bitch showed up and kidnapped me!"

"Lady, I'm sure the exact circumstances are a bit different, but you just repeated word for word my own troubles." Kazuma says.

"Oh really? Then where is your-"

"Darkness, you're only good at being eye candy and should work as a waitress in a skimpy outfit back home like the useless help you are to pay for your keep." Kazuma says in monotone, getting a squeak of pure lurid joy from Darkness.

"K-Kazuma! This isn't the time~!...and h-how skimpy will my uniform be?" Darkness says with flushed cheeks, making Jeanne look in open mouthed horror as she turns to Megumin…then to Aqua before back to Kazuma.

"…The kidnapping?" She asks, her kicks slowing down.

"Alaya. I had no intentions of steeping foot in Romania this month," Kazuma says while looking Jeanne in the eye with a sincere expression, making Jeanne stop kicking Medea. She looks at Kazuma with a smile, making him raise an eyebrow.

'…He's kinda cute actually.'

'JEANNE NO! You're having a horrible day and aren't thinking clearly! Control your urges! Think about Sieg!' Leticia shouts in Jeanne's head as Kazuma helps Medea up.

'Oh I am…they both have brown hair, seem to be in similar shape and got dragged into a Grail War…Don't they both deserve something~?' Jeanne thinks back.

'I can't believe I am the one telling you not to indulge yourself…'

'…I could be talked into sharing.'

'Girl, I know you're lying.' Leticia thinks back, making Jeanne glance away from the spiritual stare of distrust.

"So…you have an idea why Vlad is chasing Aqua?"

"Before coming here, I ordered Vlad to find and drink Holy Water as a distraction. I figured he would go to the local church, not hunt down the water Goddess..." Medea says, making Rin pale and look to the side.

"…Rin…" Kazuma says.

"…The priest was suspicious so…I had Aqua flood the church, destroying it…"

"So…he's dead?"

"No, I think he is up there." Jeanne says, pointing to the castle in the sky.

"…Oh God…that means Aqua is the only one who can make Holy Water here…"

"But if he drinks the Holy Water, he'll be free…as well as Aqua." Medea says while looking back at the bruised Sabers standing back up.

"I have an idea." Avicebron says in a deep voice.

===

"You've been awfully quiet today big sis."

"Don't call me that…And I have a really bad feeling." Atalanta says.

"Is because Semiramis and Shirou are alone again and you can hear them after she convinced Shirou to put in a loud speaker?"

"No."

"That's a lie." Karna says, appearing into existence.

"Do you just wait in spirit form or around corners to expose lies?" Atalanta asks.

"No, I am just not that social." Karna says.

"That's a lie." Achilles says with a grin.

Karna also grins.

"Their being alone again isn't the main reason…I just feel something bad is going to happen soon…especially since we haven't heard too much about Mordred after she left."

"Indeed…I wouldn't be surprised if the Knight of Betrayal and her group are planning something…" Karna says.

"It'll be a glorious fight…hopefully without biting." Achilles says before feeling pressure on his arm…a very familiar pressure.

"Quite tasty actually~." Atalanta says, and Achilles turns, pale until he sees Atalanta holding a set of fake teeth on his arm with a big smirk.

"…Low blow sis."

"Bite me." She says while flashing her elongated teeth in a smile.

"You must be quite stressed if you are making jokes like this." Karna says.

"Bite me! I have a great sense of humor!" Atalanta says, making Karna and Achilles look at the other, and nod.

"That's a lie~." They say at the same time, making Atalanta's ear twitch.

===

"I will have vengeance for this humiliation!" Vlad shouts as he continues running on a makeshift treadmill of earth and stone, Aqua sitting just out of his arm's reach, shaking and shuddering at the proximity to Vlad.

"…This feels like a massively stupid solution." Kazuma says.

"And sadistic…It reminds me of Sisyphus…" Medea says.

"I didn't say it was a great idea…I wonder if we can add extra parts to have him generate electricity?" Avicebron says with a hand at his helmet.

"How long do I have to stay like this…? It's scary having him close…" Aqua asks

They shrug.

"What kind of answer is that?!"

"We do have a plan for the morning."

"What is it?"

"Attack that castle." Medea says while pointing to the sky.

"That's too long! Can't you just stab him with your stupid knife and make him your Servant!?"

"I'm not trading Musashi or Jeanne for him!"

"We got two other Casters!" Aqua says, pointing to Avicebron and Shakespeare.

"I am fairly certain he would just kill me or Shakespeare if one of us became his Master." Avicebron says.

"As slowly as possible!" Vlad shouts.

"Now I am completely certain." Avicebron says.

"…Bad time to mention his Madness Enhancement went up a rank?" Jeanne asks.

"How are you even going to get to the castle? Only one of you can fly."

"I…have that covered…" Jeanne says, glancing up at a bird that salutes her with its wing before flying off.

"Before that, we should probably learn why Musashi is wary of fighting Kojiro since he will likely be there tomorrow." Jeanne says, making Musashi groan.

"…Can one of you fight him instead? He'll be a great opponent!"

"No." Fergus says, surprising everyone but Cu.

"Aren't you usually happy to pick fights?" Rin asks.

"I am, but this is one she should handle herself. It's one thing to fight for oneself, it's another to fight for another, especially when they are themselves capable. It sounds like this is a great personal trial you have to face."

"…What if I offer to spend the night with you?" Musashi asks and Fergus shakes violently a moment, torn until he slaps himself.

"Oh wow, you are serious about this if you are turning down an invite…" Rin says with a shudder.

"I know what he is like with women, but he is an honorable man under all that lust." Cu says, making Rin look at him flatly.

"Besides, it is quite likely we will die tomorrow, so I see little point in agreeing to that invite…still saddening though."

"…Fine, I'll tell you why I am so hesitant in fighting him…I…am actually so very enamored of him…" Musashi says before covering her face.

Davos · Thursday at 6:37 PM

"Wait, you were what? Then why did you challenge him to a duel to the death after enraging him by being so late?" Rin asks, making Musashi become vacant eyed.

"…It might be faster if I start from the beginning. At that point in life I was challenging various places to duels…I was also not as social as I am now, which likely lead to that horrible day." Musashi says before taking a breath.

"Anyway, I did my usual thing of challenging a dojo's top fighter, thinking it was some old guy again…then I saw him."

"Kojiro Sasaki?"

"Yes, and I fell hard for him…"

"But you just met him." Rin asks.

"Have you not seen him?! He's gorgeous! And a fantastic fighter! Have you seen his hair? His face?! And he is refined and-!" Musashi stops and sits back down, playing with a bit of hair.

'…Can't believe that assassin got her from looks alone…' Medea thinks in shock.

"I mean…It couldn't have been that bad right? Your liking him I mean." Kazuma asks.

"I spent most of the night before the duel tossing and turning, unable to sleep until I had a long pleasant dream about him…"

"Wait…" Kairi says.

"Was that why…" Rin starts to ask, unable to finish due to shock and figuring out the answer.

"You were late to the duel?!" Kazuma asks, and Musashi nods.

"It was also why I forgot my sword. Knowing he used a long blade, I picked up a similar length blade to try and negate that advantage…only to forget it at my campground until I was halfway to the duel and already late so I…started carving an oar into a weapon." Musashi says, further dejecting Kazuma, Rin, and Kairi.

"…Why are you three so dejected about this?" Medea asks.

"It is so different to what we heard about Musashi Miyamoto…This would be like hearing if Heracles accomplished all his by bungling through them, or King Arthur pulled the sword of selection out by having a dozen men behind him also pulling on the sword." Kairi says, making Medea grimace and Mordred pale.

"T-that's beyond horrible a thought!"

"Her book is also one of the more famous works in our country…I studied that as part of my own training…" Rin says.

"My son wrote that after my death…Much of it is my views, and I did learn about the value of being unpredictable after that duel, but he wrote it way better than I could."

"Oh God…How can this get worse?" Kazuma asks.

"…When Kojiro was rightfully enraged, I tried tapping him on the head to calm him down, with a distant hope that he could still see me in a better light…"

'Awww, she's a romantic!' Leticia thinks in Jeanne's head.

"… Only to cave his skull in."

'Oh God…' Jeanne and Leticia think at the same time.

"God, what a woman…" Cu and Fergus say with dopey grins, drawing flat looks from their masters.

"What the Hell is your luck stat?" Kairi asks.

"Very erratic…One day A, the next day D-, and it can go higher or lower then that."

"…How?"

"I suspect I was cursed by a God, but that would be to convenient…especially since the most well known part of my legend is a day I don't want to think about again…'There goes Musashi, the warrior that slain Kojiro!'…That day was also the reason I never killed in a duel again…" Musashi says with vacant eyes until Fergus grabs her shoulder, looking into her eyes with his eyelids.

"…I'm not spending the night with you now."

"Still saddening, but I was going to offer advice on how to rectify the mistake haunting you."

"Impossible! By our nature as Heroic spirits, we can't undo our past!"

"Normally yes, but in your case you have a golden opportunity to meet the one you wronged."

"I really don't think another fight is going to help…"

"Only until you disarm him, drag him to a bedroom, and correct his view of you by-"

"By my Command Seal, say no more on the matter!" Rin shouts.

"Breaking both his hate as well as his h-mmmm?!" Fergus touches his clasped lips in shock before turning to Rin who now has Rule Breaker.

His shock grows when she stabs, and further again when the spent seal reappears.

"…You have unlimited Command Seals…?" Jeanne asks.

"It is called Rule Breaker for a reason." Medea says as Rin hands her the knife back. Medea makes the knife vanish, now holding a bag of clothes while looking at Jeanne.

"No."

"Musashi is too forlorn from recounting her past, and Mordred…I suspect would not take kindly at this point in time…and since it is arguably the final night, I, I mean we, could use a morale boost~." Medea says, getting a thumbs up from Fergus.

Cu shrugs and heads for the door.

"…Is this because your bulge is gay?" Jack asks, getting her cheek pinched by Reika.

"…Y'know Jack that's rather rude; Maybe you should talk with Vlad about manners?" Cu says and Jack pales.

'Think I almost want to be stuck with that annoying trio again…' Jeanne thinks.

'I'm sure you'll rock any outfit!' Leticia thinks as Jeanne glances over at a still shocked Kazuma.

'Hmm…~'

'Jeanne, no!'

'…Call it practice for Sieg?'

Leticia doesn't believe her.

===

Artoria looks at the sign of the bird kingdom in complete ennui and growing annoyance.

"Avian-lon…like Avalon…for birds…?" She mutters.

"I'm sure it's just a coincidence…The Saint told me they could help." Emiya says as two birds land on a branch nearby, roughly chest or eye level with them.

"Gweetings, I am Qwueen Elizabeth." A bird in the center of the branch says, making Artoria's eye twitch.

"Hello your majesty…I am a Counter Guardian-"

"Named Shiwou Emiya." The queen says, stunning Emiya.

"We know all your names. We have an excellent informawation network." Another bird says.

"I see…well that will speed matters along…"

"Before we begin, may I ask how you became the ruler of your kind? I would think a hawk or eagle would acquire that position…" Kojiro asks.

"How barbarous do you think we are? Do you thwink we are just animals?" Elizabeth asks.

"…So you don't eat food out of people's hands?" Kojiro asks, causing a robin to fly forward and land on his shoulder, a tiny sword at his neck.

"Mordred!" Elizabeth says, making the bird fly back and Artoria's eyes widen.

"But fawather! They insulted your honor as well all avian kind!"

"It is an honest mistake given our history. For the food question, we have our own crwop fields…and regarding the eagle or hawk question, I will not go into the full historwy, but such matters were settled when I pulled the holy relic from the riverbed of sewection."

'Oh no…' Emiya thinks before looking over and seeing an aghast Artoria ball a fist. Even Lancelot is glancing uneasily at her.

A moment later another bird arrives.

"What is it Wancelot? I am in the middle of explaining the Saint's plans. Is there a rebewillion?!"

'Oh no…well at least they are civil, I doubt they can say anything to make this worse for Saber.'

"No, another letter from Count Gwilgamesh asking for your hand."

"What in the…?" Artoria mutters.

"Oh that sweet talker…maybe I should agree to get him to stop~."

"Oh God…" Artoria says, feeling bile rise.

"…Has there been a lot of rebellions?" Emiya asks, hoping to smooth things over with a shift away from bridy Arthur's love life.

"Not quite. There was a wisk from Mordred and Wancelot oddly enough, but we managed to talk it out like reasonable grown ups. Only an idiot would let such resent build without addressing it at some point….it did hurt some feelings when I found my wife was cheating on me, but thankfully Wancelot and I hashed out that messy business."

"Is that what you call that night~?" Wancelot asks with a wink.

"We're in public Wancelot!...and we can't really use such language now can we~?" Elizabeth says back, making Artoria groan with a hand at her mouth as Lancelot calmly walks over behind some trees, the sound of retching is soon heard.

'…There is no proper solution for this matter is there?' Emiya thinks as Lancelot returns on shaky legs.

"Please tell me it doesn't get worse…" Lancelot asks Emiya who remains quiet.

"Why are you groaning?"

"…I see a number of parallels between my life and yours."

"Oh, it's you…How depressing…especially since you gave that wonderful saint such trouble. I hope we did better than you."

"Ecuse me?!"

"Speaking of the Saint where is she?"

"She…got kidnapped…" MHX says.

"…We are not surprised with this person here."

"That was not my fault and I am-"

"Compwletely incapable of rational action? We saw what you did at the church and castle."

"…Lancelot." Artoria says, sending a dread through the knight and Emiya.

"Yes my King?"

"By my Command Seal-"

"Oh no…"

"We are too commit birdy genocide!" Artoria shouts, eliciting a collective gwasp from the birds.

'If I knew she was like this, I would have voted for her instead of that traitorous witch!' Darnic thinks with a grin.

"B-but my king!"

MHX raises her blades at Artoria.

"I will not allow this to stand! I will not you perform Saber actions!"

"Surprising…I thought out of everyone here you would see the severity of the present threat." Artoria says.

"What threat?!"

"They have mostly followed my own legend…the legend of a Saber…"

"No….Oh no…"

"Indeed…if they are not stopped now, winged Sabers will cover the land!" Artoria says with a hand flourish.

"NOOOOOOO!" MHX shouts.

"Did you forget why we are here?!" Emiya shouts as Kojiro walks over and turns to face Saber, his blade drawn.

"What are you doing?"

"Until they have proven themselves as dastardly as those swallows I knew in life, I will give them chance to prove themselves. I, Kojiro Sasaki, though in great disbelief, will defend these birds!"

"You think you can stop three Servants?"

"I only see two." Kojiro says, and everyon looks at the glassy eyed MHX on the ground.

"Winged Sabers…but that means helping a Saber…but not helping could cover the world in tiny flying Sabers…But that means helping a Saber…Could other animals become Sabers…Shark Sabers?" MHX mutters as Emiya covers his head.

'Hmm~…I wonder if this how she felt when she almost made me kill myself a few days ago.' Artoria thinks as Darnic taps Emiya's shoulder.

"I know this is not an ideal time, but with how things are going I doubt there will be an ideal time…Are you able to recreate items larger than a blade?"

"In theory yes, but it depends on the complexity of the item…why?"

"I was wondering if you could create these." Darnic says before handing him a blueprint. Looking it over Archer pales before looking back at Darnic.

"What do you think?"

'I think you're a Nazi.'

"I don't think we have time with the present circumstances."

"I don't think you have to worry for long." He says before gesturing behind Emiya. Turning around he sees Saber with her sword raised high.

"EX-"

===

Musashi recovered quickly and is walking around in a black one piece swimsuit with blue edging and low black heels, grinning at Fergus' groans. Even Cu is feeling troubled. Kairi is trying not to look at her, instead focusing on a single chipped brick in the wall. Kazuma is also looking at a different old brick, feeling Rin's stare as he avoids looking at Musashi or Jeanne in her white one piece, white heeled boots, hoodie, and summer skirt thing.

'…How did I get talked into this?'

'You know how…Think they'll let us visit Sieg?'

'Doubt it, they'll think I'll just try and escape…though maybe if I had someone to watch over us…~'

'I doubt they would leave him alone with you…I would suggest the lady knight but she seems to be taking your dress worse than any of them oddly enough.' Leticia thinks, pointing out Mordred turned away and staring into a wall.

'…She looks like an older, curvier father…what the Hell?' Mordred thinks before shaking their head.

'Father would never dress like this. Father is too level headed!' Mordred thinks with a smile.

===

Saber laughs manically at the burning field.

"You may have destroyed our home here, but Avain-lon is a pweople, a concept, not a place! The sun will never set on our Kingdom!" Elizabeth says while flying away. Emiya takes a moment to stop staring vacantly to notice a group of birds carrying something.

The concept.

"What the-?!" He quickly readies his bow but they are out of range.

"Saber, do you know what you have-" Emiya stops when he sees Saber holding a few dead birds.

"…They're fresh. It would be a waste."

"They we're sentient creatures you bastard!" Kojiro says, his clothes half burned off.

"All creatures are sentient. These ones just angered me more."

"…It appears my plan is our only option now…" Darnic says, making Emiya groan.

"Winged….Sabers…"

'The fight to the death tomorrow cannot happen soon enough…least it can't get any- wait I should stop thinking that…' Emiya thinks as a rip appears nearby.

"Did you get the concept? Wait, why is everything on fire?!" Alaya asks.

Sliverhero · Thursday at 7:10 PM

Of course saber fucks it up. ALAYA is going to be so disappointed.

Davos · Friday at 8:48 PM

"What do you mean you let the concept escape?! And why is Mysterious Heroine X comatose on the ground, and why is Kojiro half naked?!"

"Saber did it." Emiya says.

"They deserved it!" Saber says.

"Just because they accidentally mirrored your life?"

"How would you feel if there was a bird version of you in an accursed carnal relationship with Kirei and Fujimura while talking about not trying to kill yourself?"

"That would never happen!"

"How many times did you say that in the prior Grail War?"

"That Grail War was absurd and you know it!"

"Saber tooth tiger Sabers…would have three Sabers…" MHX says from the ground.

"I really doubt there will be animal Sabers Mysterious Heroine." Kojiro says as crying is heard from the rip.

"Alaya?"

"That isn't me…this thing just came out of nowhere…though it kind of feels like- oh no…"

"What is it?" Emiya asks with a sinking feeling.

"…It is the collective unconsciousness of Avian-kind…" Alaya says.

"Mwy name is Alwaya!"

"That's my name!"

"No, it's mwine!"

"No it isn't!"

"Ywes it is!"

'…This Alaya sounds quite stupid.' Darnic thinks.

"I heard that! And I'm not stupid!"

'She can read minds?!'

"Yes I can! And I do not appreciate rude thoughts about me!"

"A horse Saber with a Saber riding on top would be a Saber squared…oh God…could trees become Sabers?!" MHX shouts while sitting up in a panic.

"…You really messed this up Emiya…" Alaya says before closing the rip.

"…Let's get started on your plan Darnic." Emiya says.

===

"Will you be quiet?!" Rin shouts.

"I can't help it! He's panting in fury while barely out of reach! How can you expect me not to cry like this?!" Aqua shouts back.

"Ima knock her out." Mordred says, stopping when Darkness grabs her shoulder.

"Violence is not the answer Mordred…but I can understand your frustration…so feel free to hit me in Aqua's place~." Darkness says, a smile creeping up on the last few words, making Mordred pale.

"I could put you in a cage if that will make you feel-" Avicebron starts to say.

"NO!" Aqua shouts louder somehow, eyes wider still as she shudders.

"It took me weeks to get over thinking of a cage as my safe space! I don't want to go through that again!"

"…Why did she think a cage was her safe space?" Reika asks while looking at Kazuma.

Kazuma walks outside and hands Aqua a bottle of wine.

"That is not going to make up for this!" Aqua says while taking the bottle.

"You owe me big time for all these troubles Kazuma!" She says before taking a big swig.

"When we get back I am going to have you do everything that delightful Kazuma bot did like… the foot…margh…" Aqua says before falling onto her side, asleep now. Kazuma turns back to see a dozen faces looking at him in contempt and shock.

"It was the only way to calm her down."

"That's not why we're staring…it seems like you've done this before…" Cu says.

"It's the only thing that works sometimes. It's not like I can use sleep magic on her, she's immune to that!" Kazuma says, making the bunch inside look more distraught.

"Wait, that came out wrong…"

Rin maintains a neutral face, fully aware how impossible it is to sleep with a crying Aqua from a prior night.

"For shame. A man does not use such dirty tricks to bed women!" Fergus says.

"I would never bed this blue thing!" Kazuma shouts.

"Despicable…!" Vlad manages to say while still running at a full sprint. Kazuma responds by bringing up two pieces of wood into a cross.

"Does this mean we'll have a little brother or sister soon?" Jack asks, making Rin blush a moment as Kazuma stammers.

"…Does that magic work on Servants?" Jeanne asks, making the others pale further.

"I would never use that on a Servant! I doubt it would work anyway!"

'Shame…' Jeanne thinks until Cu speaks up.

"But your steal works on Heroic spirits."

"Are you trying to ruin my good name Cu?!" Kazuma asks, getting stifled chuckles from his party, Rin, and Cu. Even Vlad laughs while running.

Jeanne maintains a neutral face.

'…Jeanne….what are you thinking?'

'N-nothing that bad!...Just…if we cannot get away from the group, maybe the group could be put to sleep and-'

Jeanne, this isn't normal behavior and I don't mean as a Saint but as a regular woman!'

'I deserve something damn it!'

===

"I cannot believe I am doing this…" Emiya says while in an underground bunker, creating another one.

"You're doing a great job." Darnic says.

"That isn't helping."

"I don't know why you are so distraught. Going by your name, you're Japanese no? We would have been allies once upon a time."

"That also isn't helping…"

"Could inanimate objects become Sabers? Could sabers become Sabers, becoming Sabers holding smaller sabers? Could those sabers of the Sabers become Sabers themselves, and holding smaller sabers like an endless abyss of swords?" MHX says while lying on a couch as Kojiro places a tray with tea and cake next to her.

Artoria comes by a moment later placing a dish of roasted pheasant next to her, drawing a look from Kojiro.

"Would it be better if it was a swallow?"

"I doubt the European swallows are as harsh and deserving of death as Japanese ones."

"Wouldn't that just be an African or European swallow on a migration route?" Artoria asks.

"That is hardly the point, and no, there are Japanese swallows."

"Sabers upon Sabers upon Sabers upon Sabers upon Sabers upon-"

"Done…I am disturbed how easy it was to create something so large…"

===

The next morning they wake up and see Vlad is still running on the treadmill after a peacefully napping Aqua.

They ignore the situation and drink coffee as Avicebron creates an airship. When it is done, they finally discuss the cruxes of the plan: The tireless Vlad who will certainly resume his chase off the treadmill when Aqua moves, and Megumin insisting on staying in her recreated golem form.

"I can just walk there."

"You can't walk in the air." Kazuma says.

"No, but I have a direct line to the mana underground and cast Explosion as much as I want. I will bring this castle down!"

"You'll destroy the Grail!" Jeanne says.

"Who needs the Grail when I have unlimited Explosions!?"

"You might hurt father!" Mordred shouts.

"Didn't your father kill you?"

"That's not important now!"

"I think we might be better off leaving her on the ground…with that seal, Vlad won't target her…but he is still an issue."

"…We may just have to wing it and rely on timing and angles. It's not like he can fly." Avicebron says, already on his third cup.

"My…connection might be able to help us on this matter." Jeanne says.

"How so?"

"We can expwain." Says a voice by the window. Looking that way they see a bird in a twig dress.

'…Oh God is this because of me?' Kazuma thinks as the bird relays their plan, the near genocide of their kingdom by Saber, and what they'll do. A few minutes later they set the plan in motion and wait for Aqua to wake up.

And wait.

And wait…

And continue waiting until Rin walks over and hits Aqua out of her snoring.

"OW! What was that-Eek!" She shouts when she remembers Vlad. Rin walks away and boards the airship.

"On the count of three, run this way and climb the airship."

"Shouldn't I be on it already?!"

"That'll risk him breaking the treadmill and possibly killing us all. Don't worry; you can do this you Goddess!" Rin says with a smirk as Aqua glares daggers.

"1-"

"Can't I get a chance to stretch first?!"

"2-"

"This is all so sudden!"

"We'll hewlp you!" A bird says from afar, making Vlad and Aqua look up.

"Why is that bird t-"

"3!" Rin shouts and the airship starts rising.

Aqua shouts and runs forward.

Vlad runs faster and breaks the treadmill to catch up.

Aqua barely hangs onto the edge and begins pulling herself up only to nearly fall back down as the ship gains height.

Mordred walks over.

"A Goddess and you can't do a pull-oh crap…" Mordred trails off when she sees Vlad hanging on Aqua's boot, looking away in disgust.

"Where is your underwear woman?!" Vlad shouts before a hawk crashes into Vlad's head, sending him and one of Aqua's boots falling to the ground.

===

In the Gardens of Babylon, an alarm rings out letting them know someone is approaching their airspace. Looking through some sights, Semiramis quickly spots the airship.

"A glorified familiar made into a transport…do they really think that is enough to destroy, let alone board my beloved Gardens~?" Semiramis asks aloud before firing a salvo at the ship, only to see it easily destroyed.

"What?!" She fires another only to have the result repeated. Tracking the beams, she sees a woman in a blue robe grinning at her as she creates eye shaped sigils, firing her own salvo at the Gardens.

As each salvo is met and countered, Semiramis grits her teeth.

"Who in the world can match my Gardens by themselves?!"

"Oh, that is the witch of Colchis. If there was a caster who can accomplish matching you, she would have a chance." Gilgamesh muses on after looking through a sight before continuing on sipping wine.

"Surely you can handle her?" Shirou asks.

"I can, but I am not inclined to do so…especially since you still have a lacking television."

'…You're just a spoiled brat.'

'I'm the original spoiled brat, and I can back up my claims mongrel.'

Karna enters the room.

"We are in deep shit."

"What has you so concerned?!" Shirou asks in shock.

"I am not concerned, only grossed out."

"…But you said-" Shirou stops when Karna gestures for him to look outside. A few steps later he sees the entire outside section of the garden covered in bird guano as Atalanta and Achilles struggle to maintain their balance upon the slippery surface while holding an umbrella over their heads.

"What in the Lord's-"

Another siren rings out.

Upon looking through another sight, he sees a sight that should not be possible this many years later, especially in these numbers.

Fighter planes with the Swastika on their wings.

"Focke-Wulfs…hundreds of them…how?!" Shirou shouts before finding the answer, balling a fist in growing rage.

'Darnic Yggdmillennia!'

At the same time Darnic is laughing, full of joy at finally flying a plane.

alextheconqueror · Saturday at 2:06 PM

While I was making my comments on the two chapters a third came out, if a fourth happens after I post this I will be mad, and happy and everything in between

Davos said:
"I'm God's type…hehehe…I'm a pretty girl…hahaha…!" Jeanne mutters while enveloping herself in Jack's heated blanket.

"It'll…get better?" Jack says while patting Jeanne.

I'm worried

Davos said:
Avicebron leans against the wall in equal despair.

"…How many tragedies occurred while God was busy?"

Less than you think since he usually is busy directing humanity to ensure their survival

Davos said:
"…I have to ask, why were you so hesitant about fighting Kojiro?" Medea asks, and Musashi scratches her cheek.

"It's…really mortifying to be perfectly honest…"

"But you won. Everyone from Japan knows how your duel ended." Rin says, further deflating Musashi.

"Yeah, that's part of it…"

"…There is a lot of difference between what happened and what is remembered isn't there?" Kazuma asks.

More common than you think, like extremely common

Davos said:
"Yeah…I really don't like talking about it…especially with a motley crew I just met. No offense."

"None taken. I wouldn't share my secrets with this untrustworthy looking man either." Fergus says while punching Cu in the arm.

"Cause you're a paragon?" Cu says, hitting him back.

I really like the relationship of these two

Davos said:
"I am fairly certain most of us are villains or antiheroes." Shakespeare says.

"I'm not a villain!" Mordred says.

"You directly caused the collapse of your kingdom with your rebellion, including the death of your father." Shakespeare says, making Mordred groan before remaining quiet.

"I'm a Goddess." Aqua says.

"And a fool that causes trouble wherever you go." He answers back, gesturing to Jeanne.

He is not lying, actually he is very on point

Davos said:
"I'm just a philosopher and poet who dabbles in creation magic." Avicebron says.

"Who would sacrifice a child."

*Cof cof* Canon *cof cof*
Sorry, I had to cough
At least he feel remorse about that

Davos said:
"I chose this!" Megumin says from outside while tinkering with a possible cape of moss.

Yeah, YOU did

Davos said:
"…and I doubt I need to explain Medea." Shakespeare says, making Jack stare at Avicebron and Medea.

"…Why are you looking at me?" Medea asks.

Because it's obvious

Davos said:
"We're a child victim. We're sure you can figure that out." Jack says while pulling out a knife. Kazuma pales as Medea raises her hand to use a command seal.

"And one of the most notorious and infamous killers in the world; only reason you haven't been killed is because you engender sympathy by looking like a child." Shakespeare says.

I mean technically he/she/they is/are still a child, just a bunch of them and we don't even know if Jackie is the actual Jack the ripper, but fair enough

Davos said:
"What the Hell has gotton into you, ya second rate writer?" Reika asks, making Shakespeare gasp.

He is not lying though, but yeah, making Jackie sad is a crime

Davos said:
"How dare you! I'll pen that you have crippling depression and make your life terrible!"

Wouldn't be the first won't be the last

Davos said:
"Been there, done that, why do you think I traveled half way around the world with Jack despite the killing into a magical super war?" Reika says while cracking a knuckle with one hand, making Shakespeare sweat.

Because you are crazy? Woman I saw you making human hearts in lunchboxes for Jackie to eat, you aren't good on the head

Davos said:
"…Would you pardon me if I said it was to vent building frustration and because I believe the final epic absurdity is approaching and I do not want to have regrets by leaving things unsaid?" Shakespeare asks.

No she won't

Davos said:
"Language…oh it doesn't matter anymore…" Jeanne says.

We need to cheer her up

Davos said:
"What do you mean the Ruler isn't a Ruler anymore?! What does that have to do with getting the concept and killing Kazuma? And how would that even happen?!" Alaya asks from a rip inside the castle.

A lot has happened here

Davos said:
"…I forgot to tell you where they are didn't I?" Alaya asks.

"I thought you couldn't because of a massive influx of mana messing with your senses?" MHX asks.

"Oh, it got better like a day or two ago." Alaya says, making Emiya wince.

And did nothing about it because of course

Davos said:
"So where are they? The castle in the sky?"

"No, the graveyard!" Alaya says and MHX stares into Emiya's back with the intensity of infinite daggers.

MHX: Somebody take the phone, because I fucking called it!

Davos said:
"Not a word, you have been eccentric and semi deranged at best this whole time, how can I have known your Saber senses were on point?"

They always are

Davos said:
"Oh I'm deranged?!"

"By your own words, you have admitted to being not of this world." Saber says,

She meant literally though

Davos said:
"If we know their location, we must pursue them and kill Musashi!"

"Not Medea?" Emiya asks with a flat tone, making both blondes pale a moment.

Both? Both is good

Davos said:
"I'd rather not be anywhere near her…" MHX says.

"Likewise…but it is only a matter of time before she seeks us out." Saber says before extending a hand.

Yeah she is-What is happening here?

Davos said:
"You expect me to shake hands with a Saber?"

"How about a comrade with every reason to fight alongside you against a shared enemy?" Saber asks and despite the body wide shiver, MHX shakes the hand.

This is unnatural

Davos said:
"That said, I need to punish Lancelot first."

Lancelot gasps in joy.

More so when Artoria brings out some chain.

"Tie yourself to the support beam so if you flee it'll crush you." Artoria says and Lancelot does as she orders, making sure the chains are extra snug, ensuring he is constricted.

"…You had no way of knowing the disaster your words would bring, so I do not blame you."

What?

Davos said:
"What…?"

"You are a most honorable knight."

"My King!? Why?!" Lancelot asks, straining the chains and pillar, making dust fall from the ceiling.

"Because, this is the only way you'll truly suffer…as befitting an icon of chivalry."

Oh god you are savage

Davos said:
'Chiron…I'm not sure why, but this feels very degenerate and something Fergus would do.' Fiore thinks at her servant.

'I don't think Fergus is much for…talking. But I agree. I'll go and get Astolfo so we can use his speed to catch up to-' Chiron stops when he enters the hall, seeing Astolfo slung over Celenike's shoulder, a rag in her other hand .

He would much rather break the bed with his hips

Davos said:
"…Did you chloroform your servant?"

"He needs to suffer for siccing that blonde knight on me."

Kinda expected

Davos said:
"This is not that!...but I agree. The Saint needs our help." Saber says.

"Not her, she's useless now! I was talking about the other one!" Alaya says in a chipper tone.

How dare you!
Also, other one?

Davos said:
"Everyone we have a problem!" Reika shouts upon reentering the catacomb, dragging a bloodied and bruised Shakespeare behind her.

"Is he dead?" Kairi asks.

"No, he's alive, but I'm talking about him!" Reika says and a moment later Kazuma's 'enemy detection' goes insane, nearly deafening him. He cautiously looks outside and sees the cause approaching them at a brisk walking pace.

It is Vlad the Impaler.

What the hell!?

Davos said:
"Why the Hell is he approaching the graveyard?!" Emiya asks.

"I don't know. Maybe he has Romania Radar? Though I'm sure you'll disregard that too." MHX says while looking squarely at Emiya.

She is never going to forget it

Davos said:
"Will you let that go?"

"Like you did with the objective this whole time?" MHX says.

"…You're as petty as a Saber." Emiya says, making MHX draw both her blades.

Oh, you shouldn't had done that

Davos said:
"I should have known from the start…you are a vile dual wielding Saber! Prepare to return to the Servant verse!"

Funny thing is, Saber is one of the classes he isn't qualified to

Davos said:
'…And I thought I was the Berserker here…' Fran thinks as steel clashing rings out.

At this point the berserkers are the sane ones

Davos said:
'…Why in the Hell am I at a cemetery?' Vlad thinks before seeing a dozen persons emerge from a catacomb in the distance.

He recognizes Medea and grins.

'Fate truly works in strange ways…'

Yeah, god is probably in your side for this one

Davos said:
"Cruaidin Setanta!" Cu shouts and a beam of light charges toward the Impaler, the heat of the beam burning the ground as it passes over to scorched Earth.

A saberbeam of course he have a saberbeam

Davos said:
"He gets a massive boost from fighting in his homeland…and you accuse me of plagiarism with that Excalibur knock off? And talk about uncreative…it has your name in the title!" Shakespeare says from the ground.

If it makes you feel better this is probably his anti army/fortress version, the anti unit should be Gae Bolg but sword, similar to his lancer self if I think about it

Davos said:
"It is time to find out if I can best Count Dracula!" Fergus says, making Vlad scowl as their fight begins. Despite his bravado, Fergus quickly loses ground. Cu stands up after a drink and runs forward along with Mordred and Musashi, fighting the Impaler four to one and still find themselves on the back foot.

Yeah, Vlad is OP in romania

Davos said:
'Why is he here?! Even if he followed the water from Aqua, he should not have been able to disobey a Command Seal!' Medea thinks while firing a salvo as one of the Sabers gets tossed aside.

Well you commanded him to go drink holy water

Davos said:
Vlad dodges it and quickly knocks out another Saber as Megumin approaches in her golem armor, only for it to be destroyed by a dozen spikes, leaving her unharmed but shaken.

Avicebron sics dozens of familiars upon Vlad while also cuffing his limbs in earth. He alternates between destroying a familiar, deflecting an attacks, and destroying the cuffs without missing a step until all of his familiars are gone and the Sabers are further pressed back.

He reaches out and grabs Jack by the throat before she can stab him, tossing her at Mordred, sending the two back before turning towards Kazuma and the others.

And this is why they banned japanese servants in Fuyuki, look what they can do with home advantage

Davos said:
"By my Command-" She gets punched in the liver and falls to the ground before being kicked by the Impaler, defending herself from his kicks before feeling another leg hitting her… Glancing upward she sees a smiling Jeanne.

"Why?!" Medea asks, getting faster and harder kicks from Jeanne as her answer.

You got it comming

Davos said:
"Great…another deranged blonde…" Kazuma mutters, making Jeanne turn with a crack of her neck, now looking at Kazuma with half yellow eyes.

Maybe not tempt the loose cannon
.

Davos said:
Darkness takes a swing at Vlad with her newly blessed blade.

She misses.

"How?!" Kazuma and Shakespeare ask in abject shock.

I'm with them, HOW!?

Davos said:
"….I suspect my high magic resistance is working against your blessing." Darkness says with forlorn expression as Vlad smacks her away, making her crash against a wall.

THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO WORK! HER USELESNESS TRASCENDS THE LAWS OF REALITY

Davos said:
"Oh it must be because you're undead! Then I have nothing to fear!" Aqua says with a smug grin and fists on her hips as a vein appears on Vlad's head.

"I am not-"

"Turn Undead!" Aqua says, making a sigil and light appear, purifying Vlad the Impaler.

He is not even a vampire unless he uses his other NP wich he doesn't even want to think about

Davos said:
Aqua turns and runs crying.

Some things never change

Davos said:
Vlad also runs.

"Why are you chasing me?!"

"I do not kn-wait a minute…" Vlad says, realization hitting him as he continues chasing Aqua.

"Are you part divine by any chance?"

"No, I'm fully divine!"

"Ah that must be why…"

Yeah, he got it now

Davos said:
"I will after I drink you!"

Bad choice of words!

Davos said:
Medea pales under Jeanne's kicking.

Kazuma reluctantly places a hand on Jeanne, making her slow a moment as she looks at him.

"Can you…give her a minute? I think she knows what is happening."

I don't think she is willing at the moment

Davos said:
"I need this…You have no idea what I've been through the last few days. I had to put up with a masochistic knight, an absurdly eccentric young woman, and a horrible blue thing that annoyed me to no end! And that was all before this bitch showed up and kidnapped me!"

This sounds very familiar

Davos said:
"Darkness, you're only good at being eye candy and should work as a waitress in a skimpy outfit back home like the useless help you are to pay for your keep." Kazuma says in monotone, getting a squeak of pure lurid joy from Darkness.

"K-Kazuma! This isn't the time~!...and h-how skimpy will my uniform be?" Darkness says with flushed cheeks, making Jeanne look in open mouthed horror as she turns to Megumin…then to Aqua before back to Kazuma.

"…The kidnapping?" She asks, her kicks slowing down.

"Alaya. I had no intentions of steeping foot in Romania this month," Kazuma says while looking Jeanne in the eye with a sincere expression, making Jeanne stop kicking Medea. She looks at Kazuma with a smile, making him raise an eyebrow.

Huh, they have a lot in common- Why did the atmosphere change?

Davos said:
'…He's kinda cute actually.'

Oh god it happened again, Kazuma's popular phase started with Rin and now Jeanne is the next victim!

Davos said:
'JEANNE NO! You're having a horrible day and aren't thinking clearly! Control your urges! Think about Sieg!' Leticia shouts in Jeanne's head as Kazuma helps Medea up.

'Oh I am…they both have brown hair, seem to be in similar shape and got dragged into a Grail War…Don't they both deserve something~?' Jeanne thinks back.

Wow, she has a type, would be more funny if it wasn't sad, no, actually, it's still funny

Davos said:
'I can't believe I am the one telling you not to indulge yourself…'

It was the other way around till now

Davos said:
'…I could be talked into sharing.'

'Girl, I know you're lying.' Leticia thinks back, making Jeanne glance away from the spiritual stare of distrust.

So THAT is your problem

Davos said:
"Before coming here, I ordered Vlad to find and drink Holy Water as a distraction. I figured he would go to the local church, not hunt down the water Goddess..." Medea says, making Rin pale and look to the side.

"…Rin…" Kazuma says.

"…The priest was suspicious so…I had Aqua flood the church, destroying it…"

Would had done the same

Davos said:
"So…he's dead?"

"No, I think he is up there." Jeanne says, pointing to the castle in the sky.

That's a problem for later

Davos said:
"But if he drinks the Holy Water, he'll be free…as well as Aqua." Medea says while looking back at the bruised Sabers standing back up.

"I have an idea." Avicebron says in a deep voice.

This sounds promising

Davos said:
"You've been awfully quiet today big sis."

"Don't call me that…And I have a really bad feeling." Atalanta says.

"Is because Semiramis and Shirou are alone again and you can hear them after she convinced Shirou to put in a loud speaker?"

Oh, she's petty, nothing new but didn't expected this

Davos said:
"That's a lie." Karna says, appearing into existence.

HAHAHAHAHAHA, I love this guy

Davos said:
"Do you just wait in spirit form or around corners to expose lies?" Atalanta asks.

If so, I aplaud his efforts

Davos said:
"No, I am just not that social." Karna says.

"That's a lie." Achilles says with a grin.

Karna also grins.

Aww, they are bonding

Davos said:
"Their being alone again isn't the main reason…I just feel something bad is going to happen soon…especially since we haven't heard too much about Mordred after she left."

"Indeed…I wouldn't be surprised if the Knight of Betrayal and her group are planning something…" Karna says.

I'm more worried about the nazi or the deranged king, the other one not yours

Davos said:
"It'll be a glorious fight…hopefully without biting." Achilles says before feeling pressure on his arm…a very familiar pressure.

"Quite tasty actually~." Atalanta says, and Achilles turns, pale until he sees Atalanta holding a set of fake teeth on his arm with a big smirk.

"…Low blow sis."

And she asks to not be called sister when acting like one

Davos said:
"Bite me." She says while flashing her elongated teeth in a smile.

Pfft, never expected to see her joking

Davos said:
"You must be quite stressed if you are making jokes like this." Karna says.

"Bite me! I have a great sense of humor!" Atalanta says, making Karna and Achilles look at the other, and nod.

"That's a lie~." They say at the same time, making Atalanta's ear twitch.

This duo is a menace

Davos said:
"I will have vengeance for this humiliation!" Vlad shouts as he continues running on a makeshift treadmill of earth and stone, Aqua sitting just out of his arm's reach, shaking and shuddering at the proximity to Vlad.

Wonder how long will the seal last

Davos said:
"…This feels like a massively stupid solution." Kazuma says.

"And sadistic…It reminds me of Sisyphus…" Medea says.

Don't remind me

Davos said:
"I didn't say it was a great idea…I wonder if we can add extra parts to have him generate electricity?" Avicebron says with a hand at his helmet.

Huh, might work but why would you do it?

Davos said:
"We do have a plan for the morning."

"What is it?"

"Attack that castle." Medea says while pointing to the sky.

Well, it's a plan

Davos said:
"That's too long! Can't you just stab him with your stupid knife and make him your Servant!?"

"I'm not trading Musashi or Jeanne for him!"

Valid

Davos said:
"We got two other Casters!" Aqua says, pointing to Avicebron and Shakespeare.

"I am fairly certain he would just kill me or Shakespeare if one of us became his Master." Avicebron says.

"As slowly as possible!" Vlad shouts.

"Now I am completely certain." Avicebron says.

Yeah, not touching that bomb

Davos said:
"…Bad time to mention his Madness Enhancement went up a rank?" Jeanne asks.

He had madness enhancement!? Oh god he got so angry he became a Berserker

Davos said:
"How are you even going to get to the castle? Only one of you can fly."

"I…have that covered…" Jeanne says, glancing up at a bird that salutes her with its wing before flying off.

The subplot is going to help us

Davos said:
"Before that, we should probably learn why Musashi is wary of fighting Kojiro since he will likely be there tomorrow." Jeanne says, making Musashi groan.

"…Can one of you fight him instead? He'll be a great opponent!"

"No." Fergus says, surprising everyone but Cu.

Damm, if a celt doesn't want to fight this means it's gonna be serious

Davos said:
"I am, but this is one she should handle herself. It's one thing to fight for oneself, it's another to fight for another, especially when they are themselves capable. It sounds like this is a great personal trial you have to face."

"…What if I offer to spend the night with you?" Musashi asks and Fergus shakes violently a moment, torn until he slaps himself.

"Oh wow, you are serious about this if you are turning down an invite…" Rin says with a shudder.

More serious than he has been in all this war

Davos said:
"I know what he is like with women, but he is an honorable man under all that lust." Cu says, making Rin look at him flatly.

Yeah, he is, the fact he didn't actually tried to rape anyone is an indication

Davos said:
"Besides, it is quite likely we will die tomorrow, so I see little point in agreeing to that invite…still saddening though."

Oh, yeah, that makes sense

Davos said:
"…Fine, I'll tell you why I am so hesitant in fighting him…I…am actually so very enamored of him…" Musashi says before covering her face.

The ship is sailing? Oh god the ship is sailing, KOJIRO X MUSHASHI OTP

Davos said:
"Wait, you were what? Then why did you challenge him to a duel to the death after enraging him by being so late?" Rin asks, making Musashi become vacant eyed.

"…It might be faster if I start from the beginning. At that point in life I was challenging various places to duels…I was also not as social as I am now, which likely lead to that horrible day." Musashi says before taking a breath.

Yeah, go for it

Davos said:
"Anyway, I did my usual thing of challenging a dojo's top fighter, thinking it was some old guy again…then I saw him."

"Kojiro Sasaki?"

"Yes, and I fell hard for him…"

"But you just met him." Rin asks.

"Have you not seen him?! He's gorgeous! And a fantastic fighter! Have you seen his hair? His face?! And he is refined and-!" Musashi stops and sits back down, playing with a bit of hair.

Aww, this is cute

Davos said:
'…Can't believe that assassin got her from looks alone…' Medea thinks in shock.

Davos said:
"I mean…It couldn't have been that bad right? Your liking him I mean." Kazuma asks.

"I spent most of the night before the duel tossing and turning, unable to sleep until I had a long pleasant dream about him…"

Oh, oh, ooooh, I see where this is coming

Davos said:
"Wait…" Kairi says.

"Was that why…" Rin starts to ask, unable to finish due to shock and figuring out the answer.

"You were late to the duel?!" Kazuma asks, and Musashi nods.

Oh good, I see it now

Davos said:
"It was also why I forgot my sword. Knowing he used a long blade, I picked up a similar length blade to try and negate that advantage…only to forget it at my campground until I was halfway to the duel and already late so I…started carving an oar into a weapon." Musashi says, further dejecting Kazuma, Rin, and Kairi.

It keeps getting worse

Davos said:
"…Why are you three so dejected about this?" Medea asks.

"It is so different to what we heard about Musashi Miyamoto…This would be like hearing if Heracles accomplished all his by bungling through them, or King Arthur pulled the sword of selection out by having a dozen men behind him also pulling on the sword." Kairi says, making Medea grimace and Mordred pale.

"T-that's beyond horrible a thought!"

Yeh, it's hard to swallow, hehe, swallow

Davos said:
"Her book is also one of the more famous works in our country…I studied that as part of my own training…" Rin says.

Right, Rin is also a martial artist

Davos said:
"My son wrote that after my death…Much of it is my views, and I did learn about the value of being unpredictable after that duel, but he wrote it way better than I could."

This is not good

Davos said:
"Oh God…How can this get worse?" Kazuma asks.

It can, yeah

Davos said:
"…When Kojiro was rightfully enraged, I tried tapping him on the head to calm him down, with a distant hope that he could still see me in a better light…"

'Awww, she's a romantic!' Leticia thinks in Jeanne's head.

This is so cute, I'm feeling something very bad is gonna happen

Davos said:
"… Only to cave his skull in."

'Oh God…' Jeanne and Leticia think at the same time.

Oh god, it got worse, it got way worse

Davos said:
"God, what a woman…" Cu and Fergus say with dopey grins, drawing flat looks from their masters.

All the celts are like these, have you seen Scathatch!?

Davos said:
"What the Hell is your luck stat?" Kairi asks.

"Very erratic…One day A, the next day D-, and it can go higher or lower then that."

Luck is supposed to be the ability to defy fate, but yeah I'm willing to believe it

Davos said:
"…How?"

"I suspect I was cursed by a God, but that would be to convenient…especially since the most well known part of my legend is a day I don't want to think about again…'There goes Musashi, the warrior that slain Kojiro!'…That day was also the reason I never killed in a duel again…" Musashi says with vacant eyes until Fergus grabs her shoulder, looking into her eyes with his eyelids.

This is just sad

Davos said:
"…I'm not spending the night with you now."

"Still saddening, but I was going to offer advice on how to rectify the mistake haunting you."

"Impossible! By our nature as Heroic spirits, we can't undo our past!"

"Normally yes, but in your case you have a golden opportunity to meet the one you wronged."

"I really don't think another fight is going to help…"

"Only until you disarm him, drag him to a bedroom, and correct his view of you by-"

"By my Command Seal, say no more on the matter!" Rin shouts.

"Breaking both his hate as well as his h-mmmm?!" Fergus touches his clasped lips in shock before turning to Rin who now has Rule Breaker.

He had the right idea though

Davos said:
His shock grows when she stabs, and further again when the spent seal reappears.

"…You have unlimited Command Seals…?" Jeanne asks.

"It is called Rule Breaker for a reason." Medea says as Rin hands her the knife back. Medea makes the knife vanish, now holding a bag of clothes while looking at Jeanne.

And we are going to abuse the shit out of this

Davos said:
"Musashi is too forlorn from recounting her past, and Mordred…I suspect would not take kindly at this point in time…and since it is arguably the final night, I, I mean we, could use a morale boost~." Medea says, getting a thumbs up from Fergus.

I mean, I don't think nobody here would mind

Davos said:
Cu shrugs and heads for the door.

"…Is this because your bulge is gay?" Jack asks, getting her cheek pinched by Reika.

Low blow kid

Davos said:
"…Y'know Jack that's rather rude; Maybe you should talk with Vlad about manners?" Cu says and Jack pales.

And come with vengeance

Davos said:
'Think I almost want to be stuck with that annoying trio again…' Jeanne thinks.

'I'm sure you'll rock any outfit!' Leticia thinks as Jeanne glances over at a still shocked Kazuma.

And now you go again

Davos said:
'Hmm…~'

'Jeanne, no!'

You started this

Davos said:
'…Call it practice for Sieg?'

Leticia doesn't believe her.

Nobody does

Davos said:
Artoria looks at the sign of the bird kingdom in complete ennui and growing annoyance.

"Avian-lon…like Avalon…for birds…?" She mutters.

I love it, no ifs or buts I just love this

Davos said:
"Gweetings, I am Qwueen Elizabeth." A bird in the center of the branch says, making Artoria's eye twitch.

A good start, hehehehe

Davos said:
"Hello your majesty…I am a Counter Guardian-"

"Named Shiwou Emiya." The queen says, stunning Emiya.

"We know all your names. We have an excellent informawation network." Another bird says.

"I see…well that will speed matters along…"

I mean, it makes sense, birds are everywhere

Davos said:
"Before we begin, may I ask how you became the ruler of your kind? I would think a hawk or eagle would acquire that position…" Kojiro asks.

"How barbarous do you think we are? Do you thwink we are just animals?" Elizabeth asks.

I mean he is right to expect it but yeah, sounds like tagging

Davos said:
"…So you don't eat food out of people's hands?" Kojiro asks, causing a robin to fly forward and land on his shoulder, a tiny sword at his neck.

"Mordred!" Elizabeth says, making the bird fly back and Artoria's eyes widen.

"But fawather! They insulted your honor as well all avian kind!"

"It is an honest mistake given our history. For the food question, we have our own crwop fields…and regarding the eagle or hawk question, I will not go into the full historwy, but such matters were settled when I pulled the holy relic from the riverbed of sewection."

'Oh no…' Emiya thinks before looking over and seeing an aghast Artoria ball a fist. Even Lancelot is glancing uneasily at her.

This is getting better and better

Davos said:
A moment later another bird arrives.

"What is it Wancelot? I am in the middle of explaining the Saint's plans. Is there a rebewillion?!"

'Oh no…well at least they are civil, I doubt they can say anything to make this worse for Saber.'

I think she is the one that is making it worse

Davos said:
"No, another letter from Count Gwilgamesh asking for your hand."

"What in the…?" Artoria mutters.

"Oh that sweet talker…maybe I should agree to get him to stop~."

"Oh God…" Artoria says, feeling bile rise.

This is the second time this happened

Davos said:
"…Has there been a lot of rebellions?" Emiya asks, hoping to smooth things over with a shift away from bridy Arthur's love life.

"Not quite. There was a wisk from Mordred and Wancelot oddly enough, but we managed to talk it out like reasonable grown ups. Only an idiot would let such resent build without addressing it at some point….it did hurt some feelings when I found my wife was cheating on me, but thankfully Wancelot and I hashed out that messy business."

"Is that what you call that night~?" Wancelot asks with a wink.

"We're in public Wancelot!...and we can't really use such language now can we~?" Elizabeth says back, making Artoria groan with a hand at her mouth as Lancelot calmly walks over behind some trees, the sound of retching is soon heard.

.....So this bird is actually the better version of Artoria. yeah that tracks

Davos said:
'…There is no proper solution for this matter is there?' Emiya thinks as Lancelot returns on shaky legs.

"Please tell me it doesn't get worse…" Lancelot asks Emiya who remains quiet.

It probably will

Davos said:
"Why are you groaning?"

"…I see a number of parallels between my life and yours."

"Oh, it's you…How depressing…especially since you gave that wonderful saint such trouble. I hope we did better than you."

"Excuse me?!"

Pfft, you did, you definitelly did

Davos said:
"Speaking of the Saint where is she?"

"She…got kidnapped…" MHX says.

"…We are not surprised with this person here."

Me neither

Davos said:
"That was not my fault and I am-"

"Compwletely incapable of rational action? We saw what you did at the church and castle."

Finally somebody said it

Davos said:
"…Lancelot." Artoria says, sending a dread through the knight and Emiya.

"Yes my King?"

"By my Command Seal-"

"Oh no…"

"We are too commit birdy genocide!" Artoria shouts, eliciting a collective gwasp from the birds.

Wait what, nononononono, Saber you are going to lose the protagonist status, think on the protagonist status!!

Davos said:
'If I knew she was like this, I would have voted for her instead of that traitorous witch!' Darnic thinks with a grin.

Of course the Nazi is on her side

Davos said:
MHX raises her blades at Artoria.

"I will not allow this to stand! I will not you perform Saber actions!"

"Surprising…I thought out of everyone here you would see the severity of the present threat." Artoria says.

"What threat?!"

"They have mostly followed my own legend…the legend of a Saber…"

Actually they did better than you, wait, oh shit

Davos said:
"No….Oh no…"

"Indeed…if they are not stopped now, winged Sabers will cover the land!" Artoria says with a hand flourish.

"NOOOOOOO!" MHX shouts.

I knew she was gonna say this but still wanna punch something

Davos said:
"Did you forget why we are here?!" Emiya shouts as Kojiro walks over and turns to face Saber, his blade drawn.

I don't think they ever knew it in the first place

Davos said:
"What are you doing?"

"Until they have proven themselves as dastardly as those swallows I knew in life, I will give them chance to prove themselves. I, Kojiro Sasaki, though in great disbelief, will defend these birds!"

Huh, this is unexpected

Davos said:
"You think you can stop three Servants?"

"I only see two." Kojiro says, and everyon looks at the glassy eyed MHX on the ground.

"Winged Sabers…but that means helping a Saber…but not helping could cover the world in tiny flying Sabers…But that means helping a Saber…Could other animals become Sabers…Shark Sabers?" MHX mutters as Emiya covers his head.

Oh god you broke her

Davos said:
'Hmm~…I wonder if this how she felt when she almost made me kill myself a few days ago.' Artoria thinks as Darnic taps Emiya's shoulder.

You probably feel better than her with that black hearth of yours

Davos said:
"I know this is not an ideal time, but with how things are going I doubt there will be an ideal time…Are you able to recreate items larger than a blade?"

"In theory yes, but it depends on the complexity of the item…why?"

"I was wondering if you could create these." Darnic says before handing him a blueprint. Looking it over Archer pales before looking back at Darnic.

Oh no

Davos said:
"What do you think?"

'I think you're a Nazi.'

We already stablished that

Davos said:
"I don't think we have time with the present circumstances."

"I don't think you have to worry for long." He says before gesturing behind Emiya. Turning around he sees Saber with her sword raised high.

"EX-"

Birdies nooooo!

Davos said:
Musashi recovered quickly and is walking around in a black one piece swimsuit with blue edging and low black heels, grinning at Fergus' groans. Even Cu is feeling troubled. Kairi is trying not to look at her, instead focusing on a single chipped brick in the wall. Kazuma is also looking at a different old brick, feeling Rin's stare as he avoids looking at Musashi or Jeanne in her white one piece, white heeled boots, hoodie, and summer skirt thing.

'…How did I get talked into this?'

I think you wanted to show off a little

Davos said:
'You know how…Think they'll let us visit Sieg?'

'Doubt it, they'll think I'll just try and escape…though maybe if I had someone to watch over us…~'

Won't work, they know Kazuma

Davos said:
'I doubt they would leave him alone with you…I would suggest the lady knight but she seems to be taking your dress worse than any of them oddly enough.' Leticia thinks, pointing out Mordred turned away and staring into a wall.

'…She looks like an older, curvier father…what the Hell?' Mordred thinks before shaking their head.

Oh sweet summer child, you haven't even seen Lartoria

Davos said:
'Father would never dress like this. Father is too level headed!' Mordred thinks with a smile.

I would prefer to call her

Davos said:
Saber laughs manically at the burning field.

Deranged
She definitelly lost protagonist status, say goodbye to the, now you won't be able to defeat Gilgamesh, just like Saber

Davos said:
"You may have destroyed our home here, but Avain-lon is a pweople, a concept, not a place! The sun will never set on our Kingdom!" Elizabeth says while flying away. Emiya takes a moment to stop staring vacantly to notice a group of birds carrying something.

The concept.

Oh, she meant literally

Davos said:
"What the-?!" He quickly readies his bow but they are out of range.

"Saber, do you know what you have-" Emiya stops when he sees Saber holding a few dead birds.

She messed up, she messed up bad

Davos said:
"…They're fresh. It would be a waste."

"They we're sentient creatures you bastard!" Kojiro says, his clothes half burned off.

"All creatures are sentient. These ones just angered me more."

She is a monster, she definitelly lost protagonist status, wich means her duty is now to job when fighting against the main heroes(Mordred)

Davos said:
'The fight to the death tomorrow cannot happen soon enough…least it can't get any- wait I should stop thinking that…' Emiya thinks as a rip appears nearby.

Yep, it always can get worse

Davos said:
"Did you get the concept? Wait, why is everything on fire?!" Alaya asks.

Davos said:
"What do you mean you let the concept escape?! And why is Mysterious Heroine X comatose on the ground, and why is Kojiro half naked?!"

"Saber did it." Emiya says.

It was her fault till the very end

Davos said:
"They deserved it!" Saber says.

No they didn't!!

Davos said:
"Just because they accidentally mirrored your life?"

"How would you feel if there was a bird version of you in an accursed carnal relationship with Kirei and Fujimura while talking about not trying to kill yourself?"

"That would never happen!"

And we already know that Shirou isn't against fucking Taiga(The only reason she isn't heroine is because she would win by default) and had a weird kinship(For lack of a better word) with Kotomine in HF

Davos said:
"How many times did you say that in the prior Grail War?"

"That Grail War was absurd and you know it!"

Both valid points

Davos said:
"Saber tooth tiger Sabers…would have three Sabers…" MHX says from the ground.

"I really doubt there will be animal Sabers Mysterious Heroine." Kojiro says as crying is heard from the rip.

You never know it

Davos said:
"Alaya?"

"That isn't me…this thing just came out of nowhere…though it kind of feels like- oh no…"

Bird Alaya?

Davos said:
"What is it?" Emiya asks with a sinking feeling.

"…It is the collective unconsciousness of Avian-kind…" Alaya says.

"Mwy name is Alwaya!"

Bird Alaya

Davos said:
'…This Alaya sounds quite stupid.' Darnic thinks.

"I heard that! And I'm not stupid!"

'She can read minds?!'

"Yes I can! And I do not appreciate rude thoughts about me!"

Collective unconsiousness of manking remember

Davos said:
"A horse Saber with a Saber riding on top would be a Saber squared…oh God…could trees become Sabers?!" MHX shouts while sitting up in a panic.

She is spiralling, someone stop her spiralling before she destroys everything

Davos said:
"…You really messed this up Emiya…" Alaya says before closing the rip.

How!? It was Saber's fault!

Davos said:
"Will you be quiet?!" Rin shouts.

"I can't help it! He's panting in fury while barely out of reach! How can you expect me not to cry like this?!" Aqua shouts back.

The presumed goddess has a point

Davos said:
"Ima knock her out." Mordred says, stopping when Darkness grabs her shoulder.

"Violence is not the answer Mordred…but I can understand your frustration…so feel free to hit me in Aqua's place~." Darkness says, a smile creeping up on the last few words, making Mordred pale.

You are giving him a complex Darkness

Davos said:
"I could put you in a cage if that will make you feel-" Avicebron starts to say.

"NO!" Aqua shouts louder somehow, eyes wider still as she shudders.

"It took me weeks to get over thinking of a cage as my safe space! I don't want to go through that again!"

Right, that happened

Davos said:
"…Why did she think a cage was her safe space?" Reika asks while looking at Kazuma.

If it makes you feel better it was her idea

Davos said:
Kazuma walks outside and hands Aqua a bottle of wine.

"That is not going to make up for this!" Aqua says while taking the bottle.

"You owe me big time for all these troubles Kazuma!" She says before taking a big swig.

"When we get back I am going to have you do everything that delightful Kazuma bot did like… the foot…margh…" Aqua says before falling onto her side, asleep now. Kazuma turns back to see a dozen faces looking at him in contempt and shock.

Yeah, kinda expected

Davos said:
"It was the only way to calm her down."

"That's not why we're staring…it seems like you've done this before…" Cu says.

Have you seen her?

Davos said:
"It's the only thing that works sometimes. It's not like I can use sleep magic on her, she's immune to that!" Kazuma says, making the bunch inside look more distraught.

"Wait, that came out wrong…"

Very wrong

Davos said:
Rin maintains a neutral face, fully aware how impossible it is to sleep with a crying Aqua from a prior night.

At least his girlfriend understand him

Davos said:
"For shame. A man does not use such dirty tricks to bed women!" Fergus says.

"I would never bed this blue thing!" Kazuma shouts.

"Despicable…!" Vlad manages to say while still running at a full sprint. Kazuma responds by bringing up two pieces of wood into a cross.

This is getting out of hand

Davos said:
"Does this mean we'll have a little brother or sister soon?" Jack asks, making Rin blush a moment as Kazuma stammers.

Depends on Rin

Davos said:
"…Does that magic work on Servants?" Jeanne asks, making the others pale further.

I mean, maybe?

Davos said:
"I would never use that on a Servant! I doubt it would work anyway!"

'Shame…' Jeanne thinks until Cu speaks up.

Girl, I know you have priorities but damm

Davos said:
"But your steal works on Heroic spirits."

"Are you trying to ruin my good name Cu?!" Kazuma asks, getting stifled chuckles from his party, Rin, and Cu. Even Vlad laughs while running.

What good name?

Davos said:
Jeanne maintains a neutral face.

What is she thinking?

Davos said:
'…Jeanne….what are you thinking?'

Yeah, what is she thinking

Davos said:
'N-nothing that bad!...Just…if we cannot get away from the group, maybe the group could be put to sleep and-'

Jeanne, this isn't normal behavior and I don't mean as a Saint but as a regular woman!'

'I deserve something damn it!'

Kazuma help this girls, she is dying of thirst

Davos said:
"I cannot believe I am doing this…" Emiya says while in an underground bunker, creating another one.

"You're doing a great job." Darnic says.

"That isn't helping."

Definitelly isn't

Davos said:
"I don't know why you are so distraught. Going by your name, you're Japanese no? We would have been allies once upon a time."

"That also isn't helping…"

Davos said:
"Could inanimate objects become Sabers? Could sabers become Sabers, becoming Sabers holding smaller sabers? Could those sabers of the Sabers become Sabers themselves, and holding smaller sabers like an endless abyss of swords?" MHX says while lying on a couch as Kojiro places a tray with tea and cake next to her.

She needs help

Davos said:
Artoria comes by a moment later placing a dish of roasted pheasant next to her, drawing a look from Kojiro.

"Would it be better if it was a swallow?"

NOOO!

Davos said:
"I doubt the European swallows are as harsh and deserving of death as Japanese ones."

"Wouldn't that just be an African or European swallow on a migration route?" Artoria asks.

I know a Monty python reference when I see one

Davos said:
"That is hardly the point, and no, there are Japanese swallows."

You need to know these thinge when you are a king Saber, surprised you don't know

Davos said:
"Done…I am disturbed how easy it was to create something so large…"

They are just big swords that... fly? I don't know what he's doing

Davos said:
They ignore the situation and drink coffee as Avicebron creates an airship. When it is done, they finally discuss the cruxes of the plan: The tireless Vlad who will certainly resume his chase off the treadmill when Aqua moves, and Megumin insisting on staying in her recreated golem form.

"I can just walk there."

"You can't walk in the air." Kazuma says.

She isn't a Shinigami, right?

Davos said:
"No, but I have a direct line to the mana underground and cast Explosion as much as I want. I will bring this castle down!"

"You'll destroy the Grail!" Jeanne says.

Nothing of value would be lost then

Davos said:
"You might hurt father!" Mordred shouts.

"Didn't your father kill you?"

"That's not important now!"

It is, she needs to answer for her crimes against avian-kind

Davos said:
"I think we might be better off leaving her on the ground…with that seal, Vlad won't target her…but he is still an issue."

"…We may just have to wing it and rely on timing and angles. It's not like he can fly." Avicebron says, already on his third cup.

Weeeell...

Davos said:
"My…connection might be able to help us on this matter." Jeanne says.

How would the birds help?

Davos said:
"We can expwain." Says a voice by the window. Looking that way they see a bird in a twig dress.

'…Oh God is this because of me?' Kazuma thinks as the bird relays their plan, the near genocide of their kingdom by Saber, and what they'll do. A few minutes later they set the plan in motion and wait for Aqua to wake up.

Davos said:
"On the count of three, run this way and climb the airship."

"Shouldn't I be on it already?!"

"That'll risk him breaking the treadmill and possibly killing us all. Don't worry; you can do this you Goddess!" Rin says with a smirk as Aqua glares daggers.

Don'r worry, you are good at running away

Davos said:
"Can't I get a chance to stretch first?!"

Like you ever needed it

Davos said:
"We'll hewlp you!" A bird says from afar, making Vlad and Aqua look up.

"Why is that bird t-"

Not the time

Davos said:
Aqua barely hangs onto the edge and begins pulling herself up only to nearly fall back down as the ship gains height.

Mordred walks over.

"A Goddess and you can't do a pull-oh crap…" Mordred trails off when she sees Vlad hanging on Aqua's boot, looking away in disgust.

As expected of Aqua, always making things more difficult

Davos said:
"Where is your underwear woman?!" Vlad shouts before a hawk crashes into Vlad's head, sending him and one of Aqua's boots falling to the ground.

Invisible

Davos said:
"Who in the world can match my Gardens by themselves?!"

*Sees Medea, Helena, Solomon, Gilgamesh, Sieg(Dragon form), Miyu, Illya, etc* A lot of servants actually

Davos said:
"Oh, that is the witch of Colchis. If there was a caster who can accomplish matching you, she would have a chance." Gilgamesh muses on after looking through a sight before continuing on sipping wine.

Not wrong

Davos said:
"Surely you can handle her?" Shirou asks.

"I can, but I am not inclined to do so…especially since you still have a lacking television."

Yeah, that's valid

Davos said:
'…You're just a spoiled brat.'

'I'm the original spoiled brat, and I can back up my claims mongrel.'

That's actually true, the spoiled and the claims part

Davos said:
Karna enters the room.

"We are in deep shit."

"What has you so concerned?!" Shirou asks in shock.

"I am not concerned, only grossed out."

"…But you said-" Shirou stops when Karna gestures for him to look outside. A few steps later he sees the entire outside section of the garden covered in bird guano as Atalanta and Achilles struggle to maintain their balance upon the slippery surface while holding an umbrella over their heads.

I've never seen this many shits

Davos said:
Upon looking through another sight, he sees a sight that should not be possible this many years later, especially in these numbers.

Fighter planes with the Swastika on their wings.

"Focke-Wulfs…hundreds of them…how?!" Shirou shouts before finding the answer, balling a fist in growing rage.

'Darnic Yggdmillennia!'

At the same time Darnic is laughing, full of joy at finally flying a plane.

Oh god, the nazi is happy, at least Shirou is getting flashbacks... of Japan, god this is so messed up

Also I want to say that I wanted to make an Isekai quartet omake of this fic but hadn't the muse/motivation to do so, I actually planned to add some Capsule servants details like General Shinji as a janitor and CG TOHSAKA as a arts teacher or something else
Also have Taiga as english teacher for le lolz

Davos · Saturday at 4:12 PM

alextheconqueror said:
Also I want to say that I wanted to make an Isekai quartet omake of this fic but hadn't the muse/motivation to do so, I actually planned to add some Capsule servants details like General Shinji as a janitor and CG TOHSAKA as a arts teacher or something else
Also have Taiga as english teacher for le lolz

Go for it!

alextheconqueror · Saturday at 4:19 PM

Davos said:
Go for it!

I will when I have time, I also have a chapter for a PJO Chaos Gacha shared fic I'm part in that I also need to write

Davos · Saturday at 4:49 PM

alextheconqueror said:
I will when I have time, I also have a chapter for a PJO Chaos Gacha shared fic I'm part in that I also need to write

Good luck. If you got a question you think I can answer when you get time, dm me.

Davos · 2026-01-26T04:05:47+0000

'Kiritsugu…I'm sorry.' Emiya thinks with vacant eyes as Darnic continues laughing happily as 'Flight of the Valkyrie' plays on the speaker in the cockpit.

"…Do we have a plan?" Fiore asks on the radio of her plane, Chiron piloting in front of her.

"Victory! By evading the enemy's magic until Astolfo can negate the protective field!" Darnic shouts.

"…Why are you in a plane? I thought you had a mount?" MHX asks while adjusting her very necessary pilot scarf and leather helm while flying her plane.

"I wanted to try flying in a plane!" Astolfo says in the pilot seat with a very annoyed Celenike behind him.

"Silliness aside, if he is the only one not in a plane it would make him an easy target." Lancelot says while standing on top of his own plane, using his Noble Phantasm to control the now black aircraft.

"…Why am I here? I already made the golems to pilot the other planes!" Roche says as Kojiro looks at the buttons.

"I told you already, we need you for the latter part of our attack. And do not worry, Saber will keep you safe…wait…" Darnic says before he notices Saber and Roche's plane ascending out of formation.

"Saber where are you going? Why are you-" He stops when he sees Saber fire her guns, prompting a dozen other golem controlled planes to mimic her actions.

"Have you gone mad? You are firing at nothing!"

"I am firing at something!"

"What then?!"

"Birds!" Saber shouts, causing Emiya to slouch forward in further despair.

'…I'm starting to remember why we threw her out…' Darnic thinks.

===

"…Why are they firing at the birds? I thought this was a united attack?" Shirou wonders out loud.

"Perhaps we mistaken their pincer for two separate attacks?...If so we could guide them into fighting each other." Semiramis says, flinching when Gilgamesh laughs.

"If this is anything like the last Grail War, they will likely fight each other without any help from us!" He says before sipping some more wine as Atalanta enters the room with a scowl, bits of white on her ears and shoulders. She wipes off the mess from a nearby basin of water as she speaks.

"I looked at the ship being guarded by Medea. Mordred and others are on board, including the two who flooded the church."

A wine bottle and glass drops.

Gilgamesh stands up and walks towards a nearby balcony, prompting a dozen birds to aim for him, before stabbed by low rank Noble Phantasms. With a wave of his hand, the stone railing is destroyed and he steps off the edge, falling.

"You didn't have to destroy part of my garden if you wanted to-" Semiramis stops when an ancient looking air vehicle flies out, Gilgamesh sitting on throne atop of it, heading straight for a certain ship.

===

"Are you sure this will work? I am uncertain I can pull this act up for long…" Darkness says from behind a tarp as she changes.

"You don't need to distract her for long; we only need a minute, which I am sure she will be shocked for upon seeing you." Kazuma says.

"…This feels wrong on so many levels…" Mordred says before noticing Aqua looking at her legs.

"You got something to say?"

"Give me your boot." Aqua says, still looking at Mordred's legs.

"What?"

"I can't go around barefoot on one leg! Who knows what kind of crap they have in that floating castle!"

"So I should go around risking stepping foot in that crap?! Can't you just ask Medea to give you some shoes?" Mordred says.

"She won't give it to me." Aqua says, now reaching for Mordred's shoes, only to be pushed back by Mordred.

"That's for drinking my wedding wine!" Medea says telepathically while destroying another beam from the castle.

"Then take the boots from one of Musashi's outfits!"

"She wouldn't give it to me!"

"I don't have the outfit anymore! It's apparently a rental." Musashi says.

"Then take the boots from Jeanne's outfit!"

"She wouldn't give it either when I asked!" Aqua says, making a few people turn to Jeanne.

"…I like the outfit…" Jeanne says while playing with a bit of hair, making Medea squeak in joy and Kazuma straining not to look Jeanne's way.

Leticia however stares at Jeanne.

'Didn't you want me to try the outfit on?'

'I didn't want you to go after the guy that drugs his own side!'

'I-I'm sure there was a good reason for that!' Jeanne thinks.

'…I have no words. You need therapy.'

'Pretty sure I need to kill something or get Fergus style therapy.' Jeanne thinks and Leticia groans.

"POOOOOOOORT!" Avicebron shouts with his soul as he spins the wheel to the left suddenly, forcing everyone to grab something for support. A missile narrowly avoids them.

Laughter fills the room via telepathy.

"Not bad, but can you dodge another shot you mongrels while the witch is busy with the Gardens of Babylon? I wonder, how durable IS that little clay coffin?" Gilgamesh asks telepathically.

'Oh crap…' Kazuma, Rin, and Cu think at the same time as another salvo scrapes along the side of the ship, missing from Avicebron turning to Starboard at the last second.

"Can you get us closer? I'll board his ship and kick his teeth in!" Mordred says while climbing the ladder to the roof.

"You can't beat him! Your father couldn't!"

"All the more reason for me to try!" Mordred says while climbing onto the roof. Gilgamesh gasps.

"Saber!? Is that you?!"

"Yes! And I'm going to board your ship and-" Mordred stops when the ship zooms forward, now maintaining pace with Avicebron's ship to allow for easy boarding.

'That son of a- He thinks he can beat me in a fight?!' Mordred thinks before drawing her blade and jumping onto the ship.

"…I have an idea. Medi, can you contact Megumin?"

'On it Kazzy!'

Mordred enters the inside of the ship, and stops at the sight before her.

Gilgamesh sitting at a table with two plates of food, wine, and a small cake on another smaller table.

'What the Hell?'

"…You seem different Saber…and why are you in red?" Gilgamesh asks with a tilted head.

"…You think I'm Artoria don't you?" Mordred asks.

"You're not? But you do look-"

"I'm his son."

Gilgamesh remains quiet before giving Mordred a once over.

"It appears you have as much of an issue with your feminine nature as Artoria…but don't worry, in my eternal patience, I'll correct the error of your thinking, right along side your mother." Gilgamesh says, each word making Mordred's eyes narrow while gesturing for Mordred to take a seat.

Mordred instead readies her blade.

Gilgamesh stands with a grin.

"As expected of Artoria's daughter. You too possess a similar zeal~."

"I'm going to-"

Gilgamesh's eyes widen as he starts screaming. Then to Mordred's shock he starts floating and thrashing about in the air, moving his limbs as if he is treading water.

"What the Hell is-"

A sigil appears over the ship.

'Mordred, move your ass! Megumin is going to blow that ship up!'

"Master, what the Hell is-'

'Gilgamesh is seeing something from Shakespeare's Noble Phantasm!'

'Oh God the poor bastard…' Mordred thinks with a shudder before running back to the other ship.

"Though you are no castle, you will be a fine first target of this world!" Megumin says while posing before spinning a tree trunk like a staff.

"EX-"

===

A thunderclap rings out along with debris from the spell, making defenders in the castle stumble a moment, and the fighter pilots struggle to correct their balance.

Even the birds change direction

"What in the Lord's name kind of Noble Phantasm was that?" Shirou asks.

"That wasn't Medea…I have her distracted!" Semiramis says.

As the planes regain their balance, Darnic grabs the piece for his radio.

"Was that from the Garden?!" Darnic shouts.

"No…that was Kazuma." Saber says in an even tone as she changes course.

Only to have to a barrage of guano clouds her sights.

Her wind shield wipers work overtime to clear her line of sight.

Her wing blades get caught on dozens of birds.

This does not fill her cockpit with the smell of chicken, and saddens Saber a moment.

But it still distracts most of the birds onto focusing on her, allowing her 'comrades' to get closer without issue, allowing Astolfo to use his Noble Phantasm to break the barrier around the Garden.

===

Kazuma and his group manage to land in the garden upon seeing the barrier vanish.

'Great job breaking that barrier Medi!' Kazuma thinks.

'That wasn't me…'

'What? Then who-'

The whine of an engine approaching it's limit is heard over head, and the group stops upon seeing a swastika fighter plane, wings smoking, a white out window over the cockpit opening up as a blur of blue jumps out.

The whole group stares in shock.

Shakespeare makes a note.

Mordred smiles fully, thinking 'So cool!'

Artoria stands up and points her blade at the group, focusing on Kazuma.

'…It hasn't even been a minute and we're already being targeted…Good thing I made that plan last night~' Kazuma thinks with a grin that makes Artoria scowl.

"Oh wow…Father is mad…" Mordred says with a slight warble before grinning.

The others ready their weapons.

Cu grimaces at fighting Artoria again.

Jeanne glares at Artoria, and Artoria ignores it after a quick glaring glance.

Fergus smiles at her, making Artoria resist an urge to step back.

Rin crosses her arms while puffing out her cheek with her tongue, making Artoria scowl again.

"Don't forget the plan…we have this covered~." Kazuma says, and all the Sabers save for Mordred leave. The Casters also stay as well as Aqua and Rin. Jeanne takes a moment later to leave.

"…Don't fall to this wretch." Jeanne says before leaving.

"You really think two Casters and Mordred are enough to-"

"Greetings dear." A refined, even voice says, making Artoria freeze, pale, and shudder in one second.

"It…It can't be…" Artoria mutters before looking and seeing her step out from the ship.

Gray hair, white and black clothing, a regal confident step and emotionless blue eyes that look straight at Artoria.

"M-Morgan?! How?"

"Are you genuinely surprised at my being here after how many other servants appeared beyond the initial 14? But more importantly, is that the tone to take at our family reunion dear?"

"Do not call me that…Do not call this that!"

"I thought that more proper since we are in mixed company…or do you miss your dear sister that badly~?" Morgan says with a slight smile and subtle roll of her hips as she takes another step, making Mordred gag and Artoria step back, also gagging.

'Yes, it's working!' Kazuma thinks behind a grin.

Then a shadow appears overhead, a single word heard despite the whistle of the large item's approach and the dog fight above between birds and machines.

"Oppressssssssor!"

Avicebron gasps.

"I completely forgot about him again!"

===

A few minutes earlier

"Excellent…with the barrier down and Saber's mad rush distracting them, we can land and strafe them proper now…Roche, drop the bomb, 'Fit Man'!"

"Bit much calling him a bomb…" Roche says before releasing the lever and dropping it.

===

The giant masked man of muscle lands, leaving a crater in the fine stone flooring. He stands up and looks at Artoria with a wide grin, giving his sword a test flourish.

"What are you doing Spartacus? I am on your side!"

"I would never side with you tyrant!" Spartacus says with a smile as he swings downward at Artoria, making her jump back before reentering, and blowing a hole in the laughing Servant with a mana infused thrust. He still swings despite half his body missing, making Artoria buckle under a hasty defense as he regenerates to full.

"Great…Another berserker with regeneration…" Artoria mutters before steeling herself.

Mordred steps forward, only to have Kazuma grab her shoulder, getting him a death glare.

"This could work for us. With him as a distraction, it frees up Shakespeare's Noble Phantasm." Kazuma whispers.

"I am not letting father risk death by that idiot! And how can he call her a tyrant?!"

"Easily." Kazuma says, getting a full glare from Mordred as she presses the blade into Kazuma's neck.

"I am no tyrant! How in the world did you come to that conclusion?!" Artoria asks, prompting Spartacus to smile wider still.

"Easily…a little birdy told me of your atrocities!" Spartacus says before taking another swing at Artoria. She tries to jump back but finds her foot encased in earth, leaving her stuck in place.

"Oh God damn it…"

===

Not much further away, the second group emerges onto another court yard, meeting Atalanta, Achilles, and Karna.

"Think we might have to make adjustments regarding you fighting the Caster or Assassin…" Cu mutters to Jeanne, gesturing to Karna and Achilles.

"Indeed…I am uncertain I can even best him." Jeanne says, raising her flag.

"What happened to not picking sides?" Achilles asks with a smirk as he readies his spear.

"…Circumstances changed and this is not of my volition."

"Either way, I'm curious how I compare to a Ruler." He says before narrowly dodging a rune aimed at his head. Cu smirks while brandishing his blade.

"The Child of Light will make for a great warm up though."

A moment of silence starts before they begin in earnest. As Jeanne rebuttals Karna, Cu and Achilles trade blows. Fergus walks towards Atalanta with a smile and open arms, as well as Musashi while holding a paper bag.

This disturbs Atalanta who moves her ears and quickly finds the real threat, but stops with her bow aimed at her target, unwilling to let the arrow loose.

The white haired and scarred child looks up at her with wide open, teary eyes.

"You're…killing us?"

"W-what? It's a Grail War I…I-"

"You're killing us?"

"N-no I-" Atalanta stammers, making sure to take a step away from the slowly approaching Sabers.

"It's ok…"

"What? How is that-"

"Maybe in another life…We could have had you as a big sister?" Jack says with a smile and Atalanta groans, letting the arrow fall to the ground.

'Worked just as well like big brother and the bitch of Colchis said it would! New big sis acquired!'

===

Artoria manages to block the attack but it sends her flying to a wall. Spartacus runs forward, blade raised, each step denting the floor before he swings. Before the blow connects, Spartacus jumps back. Artoria also jumps away as a fighter plane crash where they were standing.

On top of a nearby roof with a stone cross is the dark knight of the Round Table. He rips the cross off and jumps almost casually from the roof before running madly at the muscled giant, swinging the now darkened cross with full force, making the air break, and the giant step back.

"Why do you defend this tyrant? Did you not fight against this oppressor in life?! Or are you so content to be her dog?"

"I am!" Lancelot shouts before further pushing the giant back, now with Artoria joining the fight, Spartacus is now forced fight slightly more defensively.

"The abuse, the both physical and mental, is all so deserving to a lowly traitor such as I who deserves to be stamped underfoot and made into a stool to relive my king's feet!"

"Hng~!" Morgan bites back a moan, a blush on her cheeks appearing.

'Oh no…' Kazuma, Rin, Aqua, Mordred, and Kairi think at the same time.

Shakespeare smiles while laughing and writing.

"I can't wait for her latest monologue, the luridness will be legendary!" He says, making Morgan shudder.

Avicebron instead poses with an outstretched arm.

"What is the point of life if you cannot chase your desires!? Be free, and chase those-" He stops when Kazuma hits him.

"Stop it! Your inspirational speech, the bard's musings and that masochist knight's insanely proud lines about being abused will unravel- Wait was that the masochist knight Jeanne mentioned?" Kazuma asks out loud.

"Do you really think you can find redemption in a tyrant's forgiveness?!" Spartacus asks before going back on the offensive.

"My King is no tyrant, just stressed! And I will find it in every whipping-"

"Oh God…" Morgan says, drawing an odd side from Artoria before refocuses on the fight.

"Every disparaging taunt about my manhood-"

"I never said anything about that!" Artoria shouts.

"You should! Condemn me more!" Lancelot shouts.

"Ah~!"

"What in the-?!"

Lancelot begins a furious flurry of blows against Spartacus, picking up a lamppost to act as a second weapon.

"When this is over you should have me go out every night in beggar robes and seek alms from the people!"

"Why would I-"

"Oh GODS~!" Morgan says, arching her back before going to her knee, the wig falling off from the sudden movements to show her blonde hair.

"…You seriously couldn't go five minutes without moaning like a needy mess?" Kazuma asks.

"You've been gone for weeks, there wasn't anyone to properly abuse me…I'm a little sensitive…~" Darkness says, making Rin give Kazuma a side eye before recalling what Darkness is like.

Artoria stares in shock before gripping her blade so tightly she half fears her hand will break.

"You're not Morgan; you're that deviant blonde from the castle!"

"The surprisingly both thick skinned and thin skinned bear hugger?!" Lancelot asks before being grabbed by Spartacus. He swiftly swings the cross into the gladiator's head, temporarily stunning him be caving the head in.

"…I was going to kill you before Kazuma, but now I am going to cut off every limb first starting with a certain body part." Artoria says with slightly yellow eyes, making Kazuma shudder.

"…It wasn't my idea." Kazuma says.

"That's a lie!" Artoria and Mordred shout at the same time.

===

The Servants of Black soon drop and appear in the second battlefield, Darnic, Celenike, and Fiore landing further away. Chiron readies his bow alongside Emiya, MHX zeroes in on Fergus and Musashi, and goes to dash forward, only to stop suddenly by a hand on her ponytail.

"Musashi is mine." Kojiro says.

"Now is your chance. Claim what you seek!" Fergus whispers to Musashi. She nods before jumping up a flight of stairs and gestures for Kojiro to follow.

He doesn't need the gesture as he throws his scabbard to the side.

'Déjà vu…and not the good kind…' Musashi thinks before heading further into the Gardens.

Emiya and Chiron both fire their arrows, only to have them shot out mid flight. They quickly trace the interference to Atalanta, who subsequently fires an arrow at them and Karna. They all deflect with either bow, hastily traced blades, or a spear.

"Big sis, what the Hell? You almost hit Karna!" Achilles says before nearly being skewered between Cu's blade and another arrow from Atalanta.

"Forgot about me?!" Cu says

"She's my big sis!" Jack says while hugging Atalanta's waist and making Achilles crestfallen.

'Huh…Does this make Jack an ugly bastard?' Cu thinks in an odd moment of stillness before sending Achilles into a wall.

"Lord Darnic, perhaps we should regroup elsewhere and-"

"Nonsense…though we are in the air, this is still Romania." Darnic says before raising his hand.

"By my Command Seal, break free from Medea's seal and come to my side!" A massive tract of mana appears and Vlad appears with feathers in his hair.

He surveys the battle grounds and identifies the two most pressing targets.

The hero of India, one of the few who can stand against him while in Romania…and the horrid little killer from London in dire need of impaling.

The former meets his gaze.

The latter pales.

===

Artoria and Mordred clash blades as Lancelot contends with Spartacus.

Avicebron tries to capture Artoria or Lancelot's limbs again, but neither stay still long enough to be immobilized again. Shakespeare raises his hand.

"First Fo-" A helm cracks against his head, sending him to the floor unconscious.

"WHY?!" Kazuma, Kairi, Rin, and Aqua shout at the same time.

"No one deserves that, least of all Father!" Mordred shouts back while parrying a fast slash.

"Yes she does, she's trying to kill me!"

"Maybe you deserve it!"

"He does!"

"He doesn't!" Rin shouts.

"It's hardly convincing coming from the hussy who- Huh?!" Artoria stops when two loops around her, restraining her. She wiggles and struggles, bashing her against her assailant until she hears a moan.

"Oh yes…truly a despot~." Darkness says, her grip getting tighter on a paling Artoria.

"Unhand Father you sow!" Mordred shouts while hitting Darkness with the pommel of her blade.

"Hng~! But aren't you trying to kill him? And I finally hit a target! I'm restraining a major threat! Why are you unhappy at me being useful?!" Darkness asks before moaning, further making Artoria blanche at the drool going down her neck.

"…How many lays with that scumbag did it take to make you this disturbing? I know it only took one for her…" Artoria says while looking flatly at Rin.

Aqua looks at Kazuma and Rin in open mouthed shock.

"Don't blame me for her, she's normally like that!"

"No one is this perverted!" Artoria shouts before finally breaking free from Darkness' grasp and throwing her high in the air.

"The Japanese are…" Aqua says quietly, but loud enough for Kazuma and Rin to hear.

Rin begins trying to strangle Aqua.

Kazuma helps her.

"How about you heal Shakespeare instead of insulting us!?"

"Observation… not insult…!"

"…I thank you for the help Mordred." Artoria says, making Mordred smile fully.

The smile remains even as Artoria knocks her out with the flat of her blade. Artoria frowns a moment before turning back to Kazuma and his group, approaching once again.

===

Darkness lands on hard stone and has to close her eyes and bite her lips to keep from moaning out. When she opens it up she sees a delightful sight.

Celenike looking down at her in fright.

"God hates me…"

"He does prefer blondes." Jeanne says with a moment of dejection.

"What?" Celenike asks, and in her shock is picked up by Darkness who begins running back to her party.

"Astolfo!"

"Kinda busy here!" He says, while being fighting against Fergus.

"You cross dressing bastard!"

"You're a guy? In that outfit?" Fergus asks.

"I went through a thing and found them very comfortable."

"Surprising, I'll have to try that sometime." Fergus says, and Astolfo begins to sweat. Cu kicks Astolfo over the edge, prompting him to summon his mount in a panic.

"What the Hell Cu?"

"I will disown you if you start cross-dressing."

"What are you, my dad?"

"No, but I got someone I want you to meet~." Cu says with a grin that Fergus matches.

Karna and Vlad trade blows, squaring up against each other. After a moment Jeanne takes the chance to continue with the original plan, Jack and Atalanta following her.

Cu and Fergus quickly make their way to the two Archers. Cu quickly launches a rune at Emiya, trapping him in an arena with Fergus, startling one and confusing the other.

"Why do you want me to fight this guy?" Fergus asks.

"He's copying your sword!"

"Huh…didn't know that could be done. Interesting."

"You're not mad?" Emiya asks.

"Imitation is a form of flattery."

"It's a pale imitation!" Cu shouts while taking a stab at Chiron, before having to dodge his master's attack on top of Chiron's counters.

"I can still appreciate the intent. And don't we have other matters to attend to? Also I don't think dividing us is a good idea." Fergus says as Cu slams into a wall.

'Damn it…what would Kazuma do?' Cu thinks before a revelation hits him as he stands back up.

"He seduced Medusa!"

"What?! That's absurd!"

'It's true though. I heard them go at it all night back at my place.' Rin thinks at him telepathically.

Fergus readies his blade, shocking Emiya.

"…Why is that…"

"I never thought it possible to seduce monsters of that caliber. If you are truly capable of such a feat, you must quite the warrior and man. It will be my honor to fight you at full strength." Fergus says before finally opening his eyes.

"…Cu Chulainn, you're an ass."

Cu Chulainn merely smiles as he continues fighting Chiron.

===

'I'm surprised he's still alive.' Megumin thinks upon seeing Gilgamesh land some distance away, groaning in pain.

"Whatever…illusion they used…I will kill them for making me feel such fear!" He says upon standing back up only to fall back down in a stupor.

'Not often I face an opponent who can survive Explosion…good thing I'm drawing mana from the ground~!' Megumin thinks before beginning her chant.

"BLASTED TREE!"

The bolt hits Megumin, shattering her golem body and sending her real one falling to the ground. Looking up she sees a young man in glasses and a young woman in a bridal outfit.

"Who are you people?!"

"We were at the castle! You met us!" The man says.

Megumin remains quiet.

"You completely forgot us didn't you?"

"You are kinda bland and forgettable." Megumin says, drawing an annoyed growl from the young woman. They both straighten up when they see another approach.

"Relax will you, I'm just a regular person."

"…You have the marks of a Master."

"Yeah, but my servant isn't here…that said why are you two here?" Reika asks.

"…We're afraid of heights."

"Really? I thought you were just looking for some alone time~." Reika says, making Caelus blush and Fran growl with red cheeks.

"It's not like that! We were also tasked with keeping an eye out for trouble on the ground, like her!"

"Understandable…but I know there is a shed over there. I don't mind giving pointers either for free this time for the newly weds~."

"That is not at all what is- wait free?"

"Sorry, force of habit…thought I kicked that by now." Reika says and Fran raises her weapon to deflect a spear heading for Caelus' head. Gilgamesh is back on his feet and calls fourth the chain of Enkidu to bring Megumin to him.

"Hey what are you doing to the foremost Master of Explosion!?" Megumin shouts.

"Your entire existence is absurd. You must be a friend of that scumbag Kazuma, and thus a suitable bargaining chip."

"My existence is not-" A chain wraps around Megumin's mouth, and another section shoots skyward. A moment later Gilgamesh grabs it and begins his ascent to the castle.

===

'Oh my God, of course they are doing this now!' Atalanta thinks in annoyance, gauging the distance of where they are to the unmistakable wet sounds.

"I'm not surprised you betrayed us Atalanta." Semiramis says from her throne, shocking Atalanta into silence since the wet sounds still occur a floor above them.

'…Who the Hell is doing that then?' She thinks before she hears words in a language she doesn't know.

'Is that…Japanese?'

===

Shakespeare is healed and back on his feet, now shaking at the approaching Artoria.

"Shakespeare, listen to me very carefully…"

"Use it on her, got it!"

"No…use it on…" Kazuma swallows before whispering the final word, shocking his allies.

"Are you insane?!" Aqua asks.

"It's our best shot! He seems to respond well to pain so…"

"This is a terrible idea…" Rin says.

"F-First Folio!" Shakespeare says and Artoria braces herself, becoming confused when she feels nothing.

Then maniacal laughter is heard behind them as Spartacus starts becoming larger.

"…I can't tell if you're a mad genius or lucky…" Kairi says Lancelot is sent flying off the edge from the enlarged Spartacus.

===

The red head looks to the sky, smiling grimly along with a purple haired knight and a red eyed Lancer.

"No need to set up a base Da' Vinci…we found the cause of the singularity."

Cu-nosuba: God’s Blessing on This Lancer’s Holy Grail War!

Wait, google can see this?

laxing0@gmail

I trust you know where the happy button is?

Wait, google can see this?

I trust you know where the happy button is?

laxing0@gmail

I trust you know where the happy button is?

laxing0@gmail

I trust you know where the happy button is?

laxing0@gmail

I trust you know where the happy button is?

laxing0@gmail

laxing0@gmail

laxing0@gmail

I trust you know where the happy button is?

laxing0@gmail

I trust you know where the happy button is?

laxing0@gmail

I trust you know where the happy button is?

laxing0@gmail

laxing0@gmail

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