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favorite quotes or quotes you created yourself

I've been collecting funny or interesting quotes in a google doc for years, here are some choice favorites.

"We just need to learn to use our newly acquired powers for good, instead of stupid."

"In the beginning the universe was created, this has been widely regarded as a bad decision and looked down upon."-Douglas Adams

"It's not over until the fat lady makes her mixtape"

"Two stupids don't make a smart."
"Three lefts make a right, so we were halfway there at least."

"I took a calculated risk, but man. I am bad at math."
 
"Crustless gang, rise up! Rise up, crustless gang! Gentlemen, I have a dream. Where you will not be judged for your preference of food, but for your love of cuisine. I. Have. A. Dream! Where one day the crustless gang, and the crust gang, and maybe even the only crust gang, can sit at the same table, in peace. Thank you very much. Crustless gang rise up."
-Garnt "Gigguk" Manteeapho

24CtT4L.jpg
 
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"I want to laze around, but I'm lazy"

The original quotes from Tahilalats: "Gue pengen males-malesan, tapi gw males."
 
"All of her villain behavior only counts as villain behavior if you believe Kazuya Kinoshita deserves to be happy, and I absolutely, categorically do not."
-part of Geoff's explanation as to why Mami Nanami is the best character in Rent-A-Girlfriend
 
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Wizards's first Rule: "People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they're afraid it might be true. Peoples' heads are full of knowledge, facts and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool"

Rules for Rulers: Rule 0: "Without power, you can affect nothing."
The whole video is full nicely quoted stuff.

I really hate the whole "absolute power corrupts absolutely" quote, because it's wrongly applied to fantasy powers - why power corrupts is explained in Rules for Rulers (essentially: to keep (real world) power you have to make concessions to your powerbase, thus corrupting you), but that doesn't apply to fantasy powers. Saitama has absolute power, but there is no corruptive influence, because he can keep power without concessions.

MTG: Doomed Necromancer: "His sacrifice shall not be forgotten. Now toss his body over there with the others." —Phage the Untouchable
 
The worst pickup lines I've ever seen (I don't know where its from i just have a massive google doc with them in it)

Wanna go halfsies on a baby?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? because you have significant facial trauma.
 
Vallan.Mandrake said:
I really hate the whole "absolute power corrupts absolutely" quote, because it's wrongly applied to fantasy powers - why power corrupts is explained in Rules for Rulers (essentially: to keep (real world) power you have to make concessions to your powerbase, thus corrupting you), but that doesn't apply to fantasy powers. Saitama has absolute power, but there is no corruptive influence, because he can keep power without concessions.
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The quote "absolute power corrupts absolutely" refers to when you for whatever reason do not need to make concessions to your powerbase, so nobody can hold you back when you want to do something wrong. Also, the rest of the quote is "power corrupts" and goes on to say merely being part of the powerbase is enough to corrupt.
 
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"Pathetic. Always pathetic."

- me

:V
 
Just came across this one while watching an Idiocracy reaction-

"Being dead is like being stupid: it's only painful for everyone else." - Ricky Gervais

I feel it intensely.
 
"Today—the Golems of Wistram will know me. I have walked a thousand thousand wars! I have broken [Archmages] and [Heroes] who stood before me! I have championed every right, fought every foe in this world! I do not run from children!"
-Teriarch, The Dragonlord of Flame, Starfire Dragon of IItanus, High Eminence Teriarch, Ward-Regent of Voltail, etcetera
 
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As Erin switched her pants and wiped away the mess, she wondered what cruel twist of fate had dumped her in this fantasy world—yet still gave her the miracle of life every month.

"I've never heard of video game characters dealing with this! How do you expect Lara Croft to climb mountains with a giant frickin' diaper in her pants? I'd love to see Leia fighting stormtroopers on her cycle!"
 
"Quitting! It's like trying, only easier."
"My neck's barely managing to keep my ego upright. Stop making its job harder."
"Its all fun and gore till you're knee deep in bodies."

 
"The Best thing you can do in an emergency situation is the right thing. the Second Best thing you can do in an emergency is the wrong thing the worst thing you can do in an emergency is nothing at all," Teddy Roosevelt.
 
Did they hire you straight out of clown college, or are you just like this naturally? -myself
 
The poor marries for love, and or stability. So to the working class. The wealthy married their pocketbooks first

Power marries for power, but true wealth marries for gold
Both myself
 
"THE TRUE MIND CAN WEATHER ALL THE LIES AND ILLUSIONS WITHOUT BEING LOST. THE TRUE HEART CAN TOUGH THE POISON OF HATRED WITHOUT BEING HARMED. SINCE BEGINNINGLESS TIME, DARKNESS THRIVES IN THE VOID, BUT ALWAYS YIELDS TO PURIFYING LIGHT" lion turtle Avatar.
 
On a genre-fiction writer: "He is certainly in no danger of having to pull an all-nighter to write his acceptance speech for the Nobel prize in literature"

As an insult "he loves nature in spite of what it did to him" - Forrest Tucker
 
"I've fought babys stronger than you!! And i've dought alot of babys!!"
 
"There is a difference between helping and deciding for you," Sensei Kanoi Watanabe Power Rangers Ninja Storm
 
… so it is less a question about transcendent moral principles and more a question about who's ox is being gored -Longtimelurker on <historical figures>

People are never so honest about themselves as when they talk about others/People are never so honest about what motivates them as when they speculate about what motivates others.
 
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