Oh boy, now I wonder what new sociopathy we'll witness.
She managed to have the first 30 minutes of our last session be dedicated to that she will kill pedophiles in-game, leading to all of us being very confused as we kept telling her that there weren't any in-game and would not be any.
Oh, THAT kind of crazy, I see...
They fit right in.
in more funny and less horrible stories
...Maybe he doesn't want to play so much as hang out with his friends and playing rpgs are what his friends want to do and he isn't the type to rock the boat, even when he has no interest in this stuff?
Mutants and Masterminds weirdness
Rocker/Gangrel is Darkstar (A guy with alien armor he doesn't really understand and works for a government contractor i.e his mom)
Fixer/Tremere is Ivan (A mage businessman of The Red)
Medtech/Lasombra is Magus (A half fairy knight from Avalon)
Traveler is an NPC
Me: Okay. I have played mutants and masterminds, partly to make sure shit doesn't go horribly wrong, I made an NPC hero. I've played M&M with what is essentially just 3 characters, it constantly ended horribly. It is just a inter dimensional alien from another Earth whose planet has gone through like three apocalypses
Ivan: What kind of Apocalypse
Traveler: Well, my ancestors were space aliens who traveled to earth and started to interbreed with humans. Then they lost all of their space travel tech after making a hybrid ruling class. Then we had a World War with lots of nukes and biological weapons which rendered almost everyone sterile and made the earth cold and grey. Then we had all of Italy get locked into place by superhuman from another dimension as the world rotated, destroying the center of our authoritarian government and everyone who lived there died, destroying a lot of our communications, medical infrastructure, and pretty much everything else which kept us functioning since no one area has enough stuff to keep active.
Ivan: How the fuck did that government stay funcntional
Traveler: My dad was an unaging semi-immortal who can tank gunshots to the face and has strong telepathy, enabling him to sense any dissent from the ruling class. Then he eats their kids, so no one was willing to rebel.
Darkstar: So you are an illegal (He said he was playing a patriot, instead it comes across as an unhinged jingoist)
Traveler: No I am a refuge if anything.
Ivan: So where do you live?
Traveler: My crashed spaceship, I can't actually fix it though since all the scientists died in the crash.
Ivan: So you are homeless, good.
Me: How do you guys want to know each other?
Ivan: I try to stay abreast of the magic users around so I'd know Magus. We could have fought someone.
Magus: Who?
Ivan: A monster of The Grey
Magus: The what?
Me: It is the parliament for fungus, like the green is for plants. Also, I'm just saying it here. I am rolling the Clear and Red together because the division is kind of stupid. Aquaman has controlled like seals and dolphins before, plus alligators and amphibians are a thing.
Ivan: Yeah, Parliaments get redundant with The Black and The Gray
Me: No that one makes sense. The Gray is fungus. The Black is Rot. The absence and death of life. The Gray is still a form of life.
Magus: So what would we have fought?
Me: Basically the monsters from Resident Evil 7
Ivan: Pretty much, also I probably have government and military contracts so I probably know Darkstar's mom. But probably not that they are related or his name.
Darkstar: Got it.
Me: And everybody knows about traveler because he is a superstrong interdimenisonal alien with blue skin
Ivan: So he is kind of like a local oddity
Me: Do you guys work together often, or do you just live in the city with occasional teamups
Ivan: probably the latter
Me: Okay, so. Would you guys be living together? Ivan's minions would probably cause problems
Ivan: I am not letting these people live with me. I live in the penthouse with my pets
Me: People probably constantly complain about the hippogriff
Ivan: And I pay off the hotel owners
Magus: I live in my dorm
Me: That better be a single
Magus: It is fine
Me: You have an armor and some kind of medieval weaponry.
Magus: I can put it under my bed
me: Medieval Armor
Magus: Yeah, under my bed
Me: these things are often used as decoration for walls and columns. Imagine trying to fit that under your bed.
Magus: I'm not sure then, just have it be a stand
Ivan: So people walk in and see that then
Me: Maybe people just think that you can't possibly be Magus because why would a fairyland prince go to college. Or you have Activation as a flaw and a one point feature for foldable, where it is like a Kamen Rider thing
Magus: Kamen Rider?
Me: You know Power Rangers and they have like a phone, belt, or watch which they hold out then they get the armor.
Ivan: It would be net +0 so that works.
Magus: Let's go with that.
Darkstar: I probably live on base
Me: So, all of you are watching TV in your own places. You see the news, Aquaman has opened up an embassy in New York. This is causing lots of speculation where it is like "Should he really be allowed to have dual citizenship" because he does not make it a secret that his dad is American though he does keep a secret identity. There's lots of stuff about if it really should be legal for him to have citizenship while being king of like 70% of the world. People are asking if this means he is actually going to be enforcing that
Ivan: Oh God, that would be horrible. Anytime you go into international waters it is his.
Me: Yeah, that is what people are talking about. Like, are they still going to be able to fish or is he going to do something about that. What practices are going to have to be scrapped. The implications of the being relations with a bunch of mages and demigods since they are descended from supernatural beings. Most people have not seen an Atlantean other than Aquaman, his wife, Aqualad and Aquagirl. So there are people with fish heads and tentacle beards on the camera
Magus: Like a bearded devil
Ivan: Kind of
Me: There are some comparisons to Themyscira, but people don't really go there generally and there is not much in the way of...any contact or things which they might be involved in. But Atlantis literally owns the ocean and arguing against that would end horribly. Then there are people saying that Black Manta and other terrorists are probably going to keep attacking
Ivan: Yeah, Black Manta would do that.
Darkstar: I wonder if my mom knows any of them, are they threats, have they already infiltrated the government or are they working with us?
Me: Your mother stares at you. "You think that we have close ties to a hidden nation which might very well be at the bottom of the Mariana Trench and use ridiculous magi tech?"
Darkstar: Magitech?
Ivan: Maybe the conspiracy theories are right, only instead of reptile people it is fish people.
Darkstar: Maybe?
Ivan: Oh God, I definitely can't continue my secret project
Darkstar: What project
Ivan: Making a giant whale that you can live in. So I can have an excuse to have it eat people. But if Aquaman is more active he would probably be pissed if I do that.
Me:...Do you guys just want to say that you guys are on a telepathic conference call using Traveler as a receiver?
Magus: Yeah.
Me: What is Magus's thoughts
Magus: I'm probably okay with it in general, I'm from Avalon so I've probably had some kind of contact with them
Me: I'd say yes. Are all of you guys just staying at home?
Them: Yes
Darkstar: I'm probably trying to memorize the Declaration of Independence. As if I don't already know it. Maybe sitting on the sofa staring at a picture of Ronald Reagann
Me: Like, due to liking him or hating him?
Darkstar: Liking him
Me: Do you just spend time in the bathroom staring at the mirror while reciting the constitution or saying states names?
Darkstar: Yes
Me: Some of the staff around the base are worried about your mental state. So, who among you are by like the ocean or the Hudson
Ivan: I'd say I can probably see it
Me: Roll perception
Ivan: 30
Me: You see a dolphin in the Hudson
Ivan: I...what? Oh God. I open the window and call my Hippogriff
Me: Are you going towards the dolphin?
Ivan: yes
Me: This is what you see
Darkstar: It has sunglasses?
Magus: Look out, it has a laser gun
Ivan: Hey, hey you. What are you doing here?
Dolphin: *high pitched voice* Eeee eee eeekeee, none of your business
Ivan: I can talk to animals, stop doing that you ass.
Dolphin: *Deep voice* Fuck off
Ivan: I..uh...was not expecting that.
Me: Roll initiative
Ivan: Oh fuck, we have got to go *His minion rolls a 19 so he shoots off while the Dolphin fires a laser blast where he used to be.*
Me: Okay, you see if swim off. Do you guys meet up afterwards?
Ivan: I am going to go over to a fishbowl in my house then put my face up close to it. "Hey, hey fish-boy."
Me: I am going to say that since both of you have a Connection to the Red, you have ritualism, and I'm pretty sure Aquaman has ridiculous range on his telepathy. You can contact him
Aquaman: Hello, what is it?
Ivan: I just saw a dolphin with a laser
Aquaman: Was it a robotic one? Black Manta has made a few of those.
Ivan: I could talk to it, so it was probably alive. *Rolls to see if he can identify it. Success The Dolphin was a magical beast from the Marinas Trench*
Aquaman: I will start asking around
Ivan: I guess I do need to work on that giant whale project.
Magus: Can any of us swim?
Me: None of you have athletics so it would be straight strength
Ivan: 8 nope
Magus: 14 ish
Traveler: 24 very much
Darkstar: 4 no
Me: Do you guys meet up?
Ivan: I'll call everyone. do you want to meet up at a restaurant
Me: Where?
Ivan: Probably by the docks
Darkstar: Sure
Ivan: I'm paying
Me: So, here's the question. Long John Silver or Red Lobster
*lots of talk about how long it has been since any of them have been to the former*
Me: I'm just assuming Long John Silver. How do you guys get there?
Ivan: I take my hippogriff
Magus: Teleporting
Me: So there is just this guy in armor teleporting for several miles. Darkstar
Darkstar: I take my military humvee
Me:...I put your thing on the sheet. It is a motorcycle
Darkstar: Oh yeah right.
Me: And Traveler just rides a rocket which has some motorcycle-like controls, leaving a gray cloud behind him until he parks it next to Darkstar.
*Lots of them talking about how to move around in the water*
Darkstar: Couldn't I just use my bike?
Me: No
Darkstar: It phases through stuff
Me: A, you would need swim. B. You still need to breathe
Darkstar; But I have armor
Magus: You didn't take immune to suffocation, so you would still be drowning
Ivan: M&M is a game where the powers specifically do the thing they say
Magus: I could probably keep teleporting
Me: You still need to breathe.
Magus: Oh right.
Me: Okay, I did not make this adventure to be in the bottom of the Mariana Trench
Magus: It would still be cool
Me: Do you want to roll on how people think of you
Them: Sure
Me: *Rolls a 4 on Ivan* There is a woman collecting trash to try to throw at you, but an employee sees and tackles her because he does not want a superhero brawl
Ivan: I am kind of infamous, but that is okay
Me: *rolls a 3 for magus* An Irishman shouts at you. "Go back to fairyland" But the same employee punches him
Me: *14 for Darkstar* one guy gives you a thumbs up
Me: *3 fo traveler* A guy insults him for being blue and Traveler throws him out the door.
Magus: What is this, Marvel?
Me: It is New York, assholes are pretty common.
Ivan: Magus, are you welsh?
Magus: Yes
Ivan: I feel bad for you, and I am half-irish
Darkstar: Ivan is Irish?
Ivan: Irish-Russian
Darkstar: Wait, Traveler so what planet are you from?
Traveler: Earth from another dimension, I'm a refugee
Darkstar: I thought all refugees were muslim (His idea of a patriotic military hero is apparently ULTIMATES Captain America)
Ivan: Ignore him, anyways. Do you have anything? *paying for everyone's food*
Traveler: My spaceship is broken
Ivan: How do you still have that?
Traveler: No one has a good way to get it out of the ocean. I told everyone that there were probably a shitload of diseases and stuff onboard...oh, in about ten years expect a bunch of superhuman preteens. Things get weird when you travel through the bleeed
Ivan: I probably can't help with the ship
Traveler: It is a living being so you can probably talk to it
Ivan: What the fuck?
Traveler; Yeah, my people just found the thing, it isn't something we made. But still, it is not really moving
Ivan: Couldn't you just sell it?
Traveler: The government would probably try to kill superman with it, like they did with other stuff. and I don't want to be party to that.
Me: There is an explosion in the distance
Ivan: Oh, that's normal
Me: Are you guys going to check it out
Magus: Yeah, I give a fist bump to the employee on the way there
Ivan: Oh god
Me: So all of you are just driving or teleporting off?
Them: Yes
Ivan: You can ride my bear and make your balls grow 4 times as large
Magus: Yes
Me: *brings them to a new map and puts atlantean soldiers on it* You all see guys in weird armor shooting laser guns. Roll history or magic *Ivan and Magus succeed* these are fucking old atlantean power suits, like there are probably museums at the bottom of the ocean where you could find these*
Darkstar: So there is nobody I nit
Me: You have no idea, the face shields are blacked out. Roll initiative
Magus: I stab one with my shield *success and takes him down*
Me: Are you being lethal or no?
Magus: Lethal
Me: Blood spurts out as you stab this guy in the chest. You have takedown and can hit the next guy.
Magus: *takes down 4 guys before one nat 20s on resistance*
Me: So you are just carving these guys to pieces until one mook flexes and deflects the spear *success on fortitude check on the connected affliction*
Ivan: Oh god you people are murderous
Darkstar: I fire my rocket launcher *kills another 8 with area of effect blasts* Ahahaha, I'm getting into trouble later
Mooks shoot but don't do damage to Darkstar or Magus
Ivan: What the fuck? I try to be merciful and shoot one guy with my sleeper crossbow. *guy manages to get past the DC, and the bear he has misses*
Me: I forgot Traveler *25 and at the head* So he just goes over to the last guy and punches *success and the mook crumples* he just flies into the wall.
Ivan: are any of them alive?
Me: Punched guy
Ivan: I go over to heal with treatment
Magus: I use my healing staff *both succeed* why use bandages when you have magic
Ivan: Because bandages can be removed during interrogation
Darkstar: Maybe it is a false flag operation?
Traveler: I'm just going to try to read this guy's mind
Ivan: So is my raven *summons raven*
Both get 1 degree of success
Mook: Oh god oh god oh god I don't want to be here when the Kraken gets here
Ivan: Can I get an image of the Kraken
Me: Yes *puts in image that is taller than the buildings around them*
Ivan: I have the raven make an illusion of this thing for us.
Magus: Oh God
Ivan: So, if you don't want us to hurt you again, you will tell us who you are working for
Mook: I am from Scorpio
Me: Roll magic or history. *most hav some level of success* Scorpio is a terrorist organization which has a habit of stealing and using various magic and technological devices. It hasn't done a lot in the last few decades
Ivan: Well, that probably helps somewhat.
Me: *brings in more mooks and elite mooks* The boss mooks *rolls higher than everyone* lay down covering fire to raise the DC on to hit against their friends.
Traveler: Punch and grapples one guy since he didn't knock him out.
Magus: *Fires a bow of wind which the elite mook tanks* Huh
Darkstar: I ride up one of the buildings and shoot the boss guys without looking behind me.
Ivan: Do a 360 no scope
Me: Well, these guys have evasion 2 and have +15 to dodge *don't get hut by the sniper as it is line damage*
Darkstar: Crap
*several of them get one to two degrees of failure as the mooks open fire and some get crits, Darkstar has low dodge so multiattack works well against him*
Ivan: Well I bravely run away by shifting to my speedy escape mode *Has blending and speed on his array so he can escape from hairy situations*
Bear hits and takes down a mook, Ivan has his Firefox attack but it is cone and the mooks have evasion so it doesn't work well.
Traveler: *punches out 3 guys*
Magus: *Uses perception damage bow to take down all but the elite mooks* Sextuple kill
Darkstar: *uses assault rifle to take down one of the mooks*
They managed to take down the last guy afterwards, with him rolling a 20 to not get killed by the twister bow of wind
Ivan: I ask the guy from before why he didn't tell us that more of his guys were around
Me: He just coughs up blood.
They mind-read the next guy and get a mental image of Kordax, Aquaman's evil great-great-great-great granduncle along with the thoughts of the mooks being terrified of being killed by the guy
me: roll magic *Ivan and Magus succeed* Kordax is aqua man's several thousand year old grand-uncle. he was in a weird MacBethian situation where his father was also his uncle/cousin thing and raped his mom. His mother then threw him into the trenches to die after he was born with scales. He was raised by his evil wizard father and grew up to be like Atlantean Hitler and hates everyone.
Darkstar; Sounds like his mom is the real villain
Me: You can guess that part of this is in response to Aquaman opening up Atlantis's borders
Ivan: Open borders and diplomatic channels are two different things
Me: By that I mean having diplomacy with surfacers, actually letting people come to Atlantis, and having things like American mercenaries as contractors who teach atlantean soldiers. Which are all things Aquaman has been doing recently.
Darkstar: Oh he definitely hates this
Ivan: So, I could try to blackmail Aquaman
Me: A Kraken is heading over to New York City
Ivan: Yeah...hmm, I could use that for my clone project. But then it would be a knockoff
Me: It is not The Kraken, just a Kraken. There are a bunch of them.
Ivan: Eh...maybe I can do something with this.
Me: Okay, what are you guys going to do
Ivan: I go over to the nearest pet store, give the cashier a hundred dollars, then put my head up to the tank
Me: roll magic
Ivan *25* Fishboy, there is a Kraken attacking New York
Aquaman: Wait what? Who is sending it
Ivan: Your evil racist grandpa
Aquaman: Kordax? How did he recover from the lobotomy?
Ivan: I dunno, can you help with this?
Aquaman: I'll send Topo to help. And start looking for Kordax. How did he get out of the mental asylum? God, I wish my life wasn't some Shakespearian play
Magus: Do we just hear dolphin sounds while you put your head in the tank?
Ivan: Yes
Me: So, you take your head out. Everyone roll percpetion
Everyone But Ivan: *Over 25*
Ivan: So I don't see it
Me: There is just lots of screaming and water sounds as in the distance the three of them stare past Ivan as he explains everything, seaweed, hair and water pouring over his eyes while two Kaiju fight.
Ivan: I just can't see or hear it.
Me: What do you guys plan on doing?
Magus: We should fight it
Traveler: If we fight it, we can probably eat it
Darkstar: Yeah
They head off with Ivan and head to the beach where the monsters are grappling each other
Ivan: I try to use contacts to get with the government *30* there its probably someone for this
Me: The DEO
Wonder Woman: This is Diana Prince, Head of the DEO
Ivan: *silence before handing it over to Magus* Here, you speak to her. I can't do it, she intimidates me.
Me: Since you are from Avalon and are like a demigod, you probably have met.
Magus: Makes sense. "Hey Wonder Woman, ah. Have you heard of Kordax? He sent a Kraken after New York with a bunch of terrorists in stolen atlantean armor. Do we have people for this?"
Wonder Woman: Kordax? How did he recover from the Lobotomy? Nevermind, I will send a clean-up crew. Can your people fight it*
Everyone stares at a giant squid fighting an octopus that is using gigantic drums as clubs.
Magus: Maybe?
Me: Also, Ivan, you see the dolphin
Magus, Darkstar, and Traveler start punching, shooting, and stabbing the Leviathan and have difficulty with the 16 toughness monster.
Ivan: Hey dolphin if you guard the corpse of this monster, I will make you even stronger. *20 on persuasion*
Me: The Dolphin was in this for the laser. *Fires laser at the kraken but it succeeds the toughness check*
Dolphin: *deep voice* Deal
Me: Everyone can hear the Kraken as it speaks in a crackly voice. A fey, really? The Tuathe De Atlanteans recycle names and are so fucking uncreative that they keep naming their leader King Nuada no matter what gender they are
Magus: Well, I'll talk to my cousins later
Traveler: *success on punch and does get through the toughness, critical on grapple*
Me: He has increased strength limited to grapple, so he is fucking beaching the Kraken while Topo yells in a Jamaican accent and keeps beating it in the face with drums*
Magus: THIS IS AWESOME
Eventually they manage to bring it down to 4 toughness and kill the Kraken due to it nat 1ing, all while Ivan runs around with a jar trying to collect the blood that is flying
Me: So, the dolphin will guard the corpse. Is this just the four of you plus the animals walking away towards the city with the giant monster behind you and a bunch of slices of tentacle over some of your guys's arms
Magus: We can have a barbecue at Ivan's place
Me: I hope to god yo mean outside on the porch
Ivan: I'll roll int to cook *18*
Magus: It is good kraken steak
Me: Do you guys like sell the thing to Long John Silvers to get endorsements and commercials
Magus: Yeah
Ivan: I am rich but yes
Me: you could probably sell them cloned kraken meat
Ivan: Also yes
Me: I guess that is just what you are talking about while you head off
Traveler: So you are intimidated by Wonder Woman
Ivan: I want to be crushed between her thighs, so it is really awkward and I can't stay calm.
Magus: Understandable.
Ivan: She intimidates me too, but partly sexually. I can never go to Themyscira
Because a lot of the time it is the same guy (Khan/Ivan/Tremere)
I have this image of Altera working on a farm raising laser sheep...
for vim or mutants and masterminds
...Have checked to make sure the poor bastard didn't get attacked by the Abused Half Elf Science Experiment from earlier in the thread? The one that would poison a party member's family member in a bar owned by a powerful wizard.
she has not been in the last few sessions as she is doing something IRL
There is also the whole lack of pattern repetition. Like, I get that happening sometimes, but they do it over and over and over again. They are extremely consistent that way.
continuing the insanity of this game
yes
