Governor's Gambit - Star Wars SI into Imperial Governor

[Freefaller]

Minda 1
- Population: 0
- Military Forces: 0
- Planet Type: Volcanic World
Minda 1-A
- Population: 0
- Military Forces: 0
- Moon Type: Barren

Minda 2
- Population: Undetermined number of primitives
- Military Forces: Undetermined number of primitives
- Planet Type: Hyper-Dense Jungle
Minda 2-A
- Population: 0
- Military Forces: 0
- Moon Type: Archipelago Filled Ocean

Minda 3
- Population: 200,000 Imperial Citizens(mixed species)
- Military Forces: ~3600
- Planet Type: Flat Plains
Minda 3-A
- Population: 0
- Military Forces: 0
- Moon Type: Barren
Minda 3-B
- Population: 0
- Military Forces: 0
- Moon Type: Barren

Minda 4
- Population: 0
- Military Forces: 0
- Planet Type: Ringed Barren Desert

Minda 0-A
- Population: 0
-Military Forces: 0
-Asteroid Belt Type: Super-Asteroids, many of which are dwarf-planet sized.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi there, just wanted to create some sort of comprehensive list of things here. There will be another informational with a more detailed breakdown of Las's available military forces, but this is just an overview and a way for me to keep things organized.

As always, I'm open to suggestions, and thank you for reading. The response has been incredible, across all platforms('cept for SV, mods have to clear Cap 2 there first).

-Freefaller

 

[Freefaller]

Military Strength Overview ( as of Jan 29, 2025, 1:04pm, PST)

• 1 StormTrooper Company: 200 Troopers, 50 personal guard, 100 Support Personnel
• 195 Imperial Army Line Companies: 152 troopers per company, 180 personnel total
• 1 Imperial Attack Armor Company: 232 troopers, 100 Support Personnel, 10 Medium Imperial Assault Tanks, 10 Light Imperial-Class Repulsor Tank 1-L's, 8 Heavy Imperial Class Repulsor Tank 1-H's, 9 Assorted Heavy Weapons Repulsor Lifts, and 4 AT-ST's.
• 2 Tie Squadron's: 24 Tie Pilots, 50 Support Personnel, 24 Tie Fighters.
• 1 Arquitens Class Light-Cruisers: 100 assorted personnel.
• 5 Cargo-Oriented Gozanti Class Cruisers: 60 total crew(12 per) and 50 assorted planetside support personnel.
• 4 CR92a Assassin-Class Corvettes: 320 total crew(80 per)
• 15 ARC-170's: 30 crew(2 per)
• 10 V-Wings: 10 Crew

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi there, just wanted to toss this out before the next chapter. Mostly just here to give both myself and all y'all a concise list of Las's military forces for easy reference. Will try to update this as the story progresses, but feel free to remind me if I seem to have forgotten.

As always, constructive criticism regarding my writing, and in the case of this post, especially my lore-accuracy, along with ways to move the story forward are always welcome.

Thanks for reading!

-Freefaller

 

[Freefaller]

Organization List
FieldTec Agricultural Concern: Largest company on the planet, owns 45% of the farms in Rolling Green's
Minda Plains Union: Union consisting of a large portion of non-corporate farmers in Rolling Green's and other large farming towns and cities.

YewCast: Largest of the few tech companies on Minda, they sell mostly home appliances to those living in the large cities, though they have been looking to expand.

KhaganMotors: Only decently sized vehicle manufacturing industry, relies mostly on imported parts to make frankenstein farming vehicles and the like.

Drillers United: Mining union that worked the mines of Augir and other mining towns.

Finally, there are the many family owned businesses that dot the planet, be they small farming companies, transport companies, repair/mechanics, and many more.

Takshun Orbital: A relatively minor orbital company from Ord Mantell. "Relative" of course being relative to the massive giants that built and maintained the Imperial deep docks there, meaning the Takshun, for a outer rim backwater like Minda, is quite large.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi there!

Just another organizational piece meant to quickly summarize the various companies that have been mentioned so far. Will try and update as the story progresses. Feel free to remind me if I seem to miss one or two companies.

Thanks for reading! All feedback accepted!

-Freefaller

 

[Freefaller]

Hi there everyone, just wanted y'alls opinion on this. There are a variety of great anti-piracy patrol craft, but the cost varies(some are technically free), as does effectiveness, crew requirements, etc...

So I'm going to toss my top picks down here for y'all to discuss, along with links for each one. I'd open it for voting, but I have no idea how that works. Feel free to comment your own ideas though. Always looking for feedback!

Marauder-Class Assault Corvette

Raider I-Class Corvette

CR90 Corvette

Imperial Customs Corvette

IR-3F-Class Light Frigate

Lancer-Class Frigate

EF76 Nebulon-B Escort Frigate

Imperial II-Class Frigate

Tartan-Class Patrol Cruiser

Carrack-Class Light Cruiser

If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. I'm always combing over the replies to see what's new and what y'all are saying.

Thanks for reading!

-Freefaller

 

[Nikoli]

Omake

Scene opens. MC is in bed recovering from magic space flu. Doors are thrown open and Darna rushes in with what seems to be half the stormtroopers and several of her aides.

Darna, "Governor, we have to get you to the secure bunker. Right now!"

MC, "Darna?.. What's going on?"

Darna, "No time to explain you may be in danger."

MC, "Say no more!" throws off the remaining sickness and quickly leaves with the guards.

Scene closes.

Next scene opens into a very active command and control bunker underneath the Air Traffic Control tower.

MC, "Alright, now that I am here, what is going on?"

Garrison Commander, "Governor, we are in the process of locking down the system and grounding all traffic until the fleet arrives. Their ETA is within the next 30 minutes."

Darna, "No worries, we are well protected here until then."

Commodore of the fleet, "Governor, I am pleased to report that we have activated the reserves and are in the process of launching our fighter and bombers. The various mining operations have been informed of the situation and ordered to remain grounded at their current locations until after the fleet arrives."

MC slowly looks around, "This is all very interesting but no one has yet to inform me what is going on!!"

Command staff looks around at one another, finally Darna steps forward. "Governor, we received the emergency communication one hour ago from the Imperial Prateorian Guard. The Emperor is dead, along with Lord Vader, all of the Grand Moffs, Moffs, and planetary governors, who were attending a ball on the Death Star. Per Imperial Contengency Order No. 69, Imperial Succession Lists, you are the next highest ranking civilian authority left." Darna kneels, "The Emperor is dead. Long Live the Emperor!" Entire command staff repeats gesture, exclaiming, "The Emperor is dead. Long Live the Emperor!"

MC sort of just stands there in shock. Then rallies, "Very well, if this is the will of the people. Then I have no choice but to answer this unlooked for call."

In the background, Sensor operator calls out, "Emperor, the fleet has arrived!" Cue cut away to the holoprojector showing arrival of the Sector Fleet and Death Squadron with the Executor at the head.

MC, "Contact the Fleet, we have work to do." Close up of MC's face (Chiseled Jaw Line) showing steely determination and resolve for what is to come.

Excerpt from "Rise and Fall of the Republic, Empire, and back to the Republic" Holovid. A dramatic historical reenactment of the True Story of the life of the Emperor from his humble origins on Corusant to his eventual death at the venerable age of 122. He stewarded the Empire after the death of the beloved Emperor Palpatine and the subsequent police actions taken to bring stability to a galaxy teetering on the edge of full scale war again.

Also, the Imperial Archivists would like us to remind our viewers that at no time did the Emperor's mother threaten to send him to the infantry if he didn't accept the position, do a good job as Emperor, and make progress in the next two years toward stability and prosperity. That is strictly propaganda used by his detractors.

Joining us today to discuss this important time is Dr….
(Rest is for you to fill in and add to the next scene of the Omake).

 

[Nikoli]

Omake "2". Collector's Edition.

Today we take a behind the scenes look at interviews from the various members of Minda's population who lived through the great Pirate raid of 2 BBY. The Imperial Archivists would like us to remind our viewers that these are first accounts and have not been edited. Viewer discretion is advised for younger sentients.


The following is a reaction to the recently published Imperial News bulletin. "If a Pirate Attack Is Imminent.

For maritime employers and shipowners, a well-defined protocol for managing pirate attacks is crucial for the safety of the crew and the security of the vessel.

In the event of an imminent pirate attack, the following steps should be implemented:

• Alert Imperial System Security: Immediately inform the nearest coastal security authority about the approaching pirates to initiate a timely response.
• Maximize Ship Speed: Increase the ship's speed to its maximum sublight, making it more difficult for pirates to approach.
• Aggressive Maneuvering: Employ aggressive piloting techniques to disrupt the pirates' approach and aim.
• Safety Measures for Crew: Instruct the crew to stay away from the outer hull locations to minimize the risk of injury from weapons used by the pirates or from hull breaches.
• Designate a Safe Room: Should pirates begin boarding, have a protocol for all crew members to retreat to a predetermined safe room, preferably a choke point with an automated heavy weapon or repeating blaster.

Guild accountant, John Smith, "This right here is an excellent common sense protocol that most already have in practice. None of this pie in the sky or woke nonsense that's you see some radicals try to push. Especially that crazy senator that wants to demilitarize the galaxy, who would protect us from the pirates then? I for one am glad the governor had taken measures to bolster the system defenses against any type of incursion.

Independent Asteroid Miner, Jane Smith, "This is pretty much the bare bones of our policy as it is. We get attempted claim jumpers all the time out here. The Guild that the governor set up allows for the rental of ground (asteroid) based defenses for our claim. Those pirates were certainly not expecting to have to deal with a few hundred extra laser and turbo laser batteries in the asteroid field. Lucy here even managed to shoot down a Gozanti class. It managed to land fairly intact. (Jane smirks to the holocamera) It is a shame there were no survivors though. We even got a bonus from the governor and 2 months free on our lease when we turned it over to be used by the system defenses fleet, after we heard about the governor's court ruling regarding the pirates. I hear it was part of the anti-pirate task force the governor sends out to keep the nearby uninhabited systems free of pirates."


(Retired) Dread Privateer Jaune Lafite, "I remember it like it was yesterday. (Interviewer, "It was.") There I was thinking about my lady, that's my ship btw, when suddenly I received an alert from the system fleet that pirates had jumped in. Now, I choose this system because I have certain understanding with the Privateers Guild that it was mine and that no one else could patrol it without my permission. Which I obviously did not give. So I did what any self respecting privateer would do in my situation. I called up a few friends and we decided to give them a nice Cajun welcome… (inaudible comment from offscreen) Oh you wanted to know my reaction to the news article? That's simple that is for "civilians," the governor gave us a different set of protocols when we were under his letters of marque. Maybe, I will show you them next time, the governor always had a way with words for our type." A copy is linked here for our viewership:

Spoiler: Letter of Marque

Imperial Stormtrooper, CT-01234-A, "…"
(officer speaks from off screen, "You are off duty you can say whatever you want, and the governor has already written an amnesty.)

"I like working for the governor, he makes sure we get enough range time that we can actually hit what we aim at."

(Interviewer, "Anything else?")

"Yea, he let me press the button to space the pirates after their trial in abstention. I remember he convicted all the pirates to death and their assets forfeited in 2 minutes after he was informed they entered the system. That is a very fast turn around time for most Imperial courts; most systems takes months to hear a case. Also, I hear we got several new ships and star fighters a few weeks later. They didn't even have blood stains in them that our newest acquisitions did. Let me tell you cleaning out blood from the air circulation system when the gravity platings fail are a punishment detail you do not want."


Independent Farmer, Oldson McDonald, "That news piece is for the spacers, everyone groundside knows that when pirates show up, there is only two responses. 1) Open Fire and 2) Reload. (Question from offscreen) Oh the governor? Never had an issue with him. That tax hike when he first entered office was of course a big issue at the time but when me and my friends went to talk about it. He saw the issue right away, I wasn't even away from home 2 days before he had the issue fixed. I swear there is an accountant somewhere that probably got fired or got shot because of that error. But The governor fixed it right up. Now most of us don't like government interference, it's why we moved here. But the governor is a very hands off person, we like that, he has my vote for reelection, you know if he decided to run."

Excerpt from "Rise and Fall of the Republic, Empire, and back to the Republic" Holovid. A dramatic historical reenactment of the True Story of the life of the Emperor from his humble origins on Corusant to his eventual death at the venerable age of 122. He stewarded the Empire after the death of the beloved Emperor Palpatine and the subsequent police actions taken to bring stability to a galaxy teetering on the edge of full scale war again.

 

[Freefaller]

Questions for the Audience

This post exists solely to ask for recommendations/advice on various parts of the story. While I am open to suggestions regarding just about every aspect of the story, there are some that I am particularly looking for.

1. Politics: the council voting system I cooked up was a rush job, and upon further inspection kinda shit, as it overwhelms voters with teams from the boonies that will never get voted for, due to cities' overwhelming advantages in population . Obviously, there is no perfect political system, but any advice/recommendations regarding a voting system and the greater council system will be taken into consideration. However, please keep the discussion civil, cause I've seen some stories with 2 chapters get locked cause people couldn't stop yapping for five fucking minutes.
2. Expansion: Where should the MC go from here? Should he slow things down, speed things up, get down low or make a big splash? There are many paths, and I want to know your opinions.
3. Military: Assuming the Minda System recovers from this attack easily in the near future, and gains a minimum of 50 million credits to spend on ships, attack craft, etc… along with the manpower to crew them, what fleets would you build? How would you organize the defense and trade fleets of the Minda System? This is a hypothetical, because there is a damn good chance the MC never gets there, but theoretical fleet building is fun. What dangers might said fleet encounter in the future? These kinds of questions are fun to answer, so go ham.
4. Allegiance: While I already more or less have a plan for how the MC will steer the Minda system allegiance wise(Empire/Rebel/Republic/Pentastar/Independent, etc…) I want to know what direction you think he should lean and why. Anything from moral arguments to pushing profit margins, who should he side with, and why?

This is mostly just a rush post, cause I have literally nothing else to do. No homework, and no games, since my house burned down in the Eaton Canyon fire earlier this month, so I only have the macbook I use for college.

Speaking of college, winter semester or not, I gotta lock in, so while I will still update frequently, most of the new chapters will still be weekend releases.

Thanks for reading!

-Freefaller

 

[Nikoli]

Omake #3

Imperial Archivist, Jeffery Sinclair, "(Retired) Commissar Ciaphas Cain, Shield of the People, Hero of the Minda Blitz. Thank you for joining us today."

Cain (wearing public relation smile No. 4), "It is always a pleasure meeting with the Archivists."

Jeffery, "In our last interview, you had regaled us in your storied defense of Cadia against the Death Cults. Today we would like to discuss the time before that when you were a new recruit from your homeworld of Minda. Specifically, your part in the Emperor's (then governor) plan to counter the pirate invasion."

Cain (wearing serious face No.2), "Ah, not my proudest moment. Between you and me, I thought it was a crazy plan the Emperor had come up with. When our officer asked for volunteers to get locked into a shipping container full of thermal detonators at the front to discourage the pirates from looking deeper. When they would load it into their ship, we would then attack the ships crew to seize control, from the inside. Well, I knew that it was likely a suicide mission if any one thing went wrong, but the Emperor commanded and I obeyed."

Archivist, "So the 100,000 credit bounty for the squad who volunteered and was successful in capturing the ship had nothing to do with your decision? Or the fact that there were rumors about a blaster wedding in your future?"

Cain (wearing sheepish grin No.9), "Nope, I would have done so without it. As for the wedding, well Dilalia was my childhood sweetheart. We had been putting off on getting officially married until we had enough saved up. It's one of the reason I joined the MPDF, the Emperor, even back then, knew how to take care of his soldiers and people. Full healthcare, pension, and death benefits to next of kin was unheard of for new recruits. But let me tell you, there is not an infantryman in the Empire which does not thank the Emperor every day for his support and belief in us!"

Cain, "Now getting back to the infiltration part of this story. I was carrying the new man portable E-Web repeater blaster. There we were…"



Publisher, "For a full accounting of Cain's adventures and achievements in his service to the Emperor and Empire, see his published autobiography. Also available in graphic Novels format NOW and preorder the live action holovid series, currently planned for release in ABY 161. A full listing is provided to our viewership below.

The first three novels, as well as the short stories Fight or Flight, Echoes of the Tomb and The Beguiling, were collected into a single omnibus entitled Ciaphas Cain: Hero of the Empire in ABY 137.

The fourth, fifth, and sixth novels, as well as the short stories Sector 13 and Traitor's Gambit, were collected into a second omnibus entitled Ciaphas Cain: Defender of the Empire in ABY 140

The seventh, eighth, and ninth novels, were collected into a third omnibus entitled Ciaphas Cain: Saviour of the Empire in ABY 142

The tenth novel, Choose Your Enemies, was released in ABY 148

The original audio dramas, Dead in the Water and The Devil You Know were released in June, ABY 152 and April, ABY 153, respectively.

A limited release novella, Old Soldiers Never Die, was released in November, ABY 153, during Black Library Weekender event, and collected into Ciaphas Cain: Saviour of the Empire.


(@Freefaller ) Got another Omake for you to link.

 

[Nikoli]

Omake 4:

Executor of Emperor Palpatine's Will, "All are present and accounted for the reading of the late Emperor's Will on this day 4ABY." (I won't make future scholars read the strange language known as legalese, so this will be covering the main points.)

Article 1: I grant my slightly used Empire to my son, Steven Palpatine, Jr., who has been raised under the false name Las Mola by his mother, Jir Mola. This was for your protection against my enemies. All the security reports I have read have had no major issues with his governorship. As such, I have no issue granting him more responsibilities due to his dedication to the lives and well being of his people, like me.

Article 2: I hereby grant my great friend and commander of the Imperial Military, Darth Vader Skywalker and his family, Luke and Leia, his retirement planet Naboo.

Article 3: I hereby promote Grand Admiral Thrawn as commander of my son's military forces and empower him to ensure the stability and security of his reign from all enemies foreign and domestic.

Article 4: I ask my hand, alias Mara Jade, to continue in her current role for my son.

Article 5: I hereby place a bounty of 10,000,000,000,000 credits collectively on the heads of (proceeds to list every incompetent and disloyal Imperial admiral, captain, commandant, general, governor, moff, grand moff) to be paid out in the above %s upon confirmation of their head being removed from their shoulders. I could not clean house while I was alive but this is a last gift I can give to the people of the galaxy.

Article 6: I confirm Director Ysanne Isard nee Mola as…

Selected Excerpts from the Holo Drama, "Order Even From Beyond the Grave." This drama purports to cover the actual articles of the First Emperor's will and proceeds to follow their consequences on the galaxy already reeling from the death of its beloved Emperor.

Imperial Archivists would like to remind our viewers that the actual will remains classified due to the number of Top Secret information provided in said will. Furthermore, Emperor Steven's press secretary reminds our viewers that speculation about his parentage is not necessary and to trust his office that he is the legitimate successor to Emperor Palpatine through his last will and testament.

Collector's Edition Special Interviews

Interview No. 1: Joining us today is retired Director of the Imperial Service Bureau who ensured the proper reading of the will Ysanne Isard nee Mola. Director can you shed some light on why after the Emperor's death you had to personally intervene with the Will reading?

Director, "Thank you for having me. In response to your question, while I am still under a number of NDAs, I can say it was necessary. There were forces high in the Imperial bureaucracy which were attempting to change the will to have themselves listed as the Heir. As such, I did what any loyal son or daughter of the Emperor would do. Ensure the proper reading occurred."

Interview No. 89: Joining us tonight is famed investigative historian and archaeologist Indiana Jones, "Dr. Jones, in your recent expedition to Biss, where Emperor Palpatine was building a new throne world you found evidence that….

For the full coverage of the Collected Interviews remember to buy this Collector's Edition.

(@Freefaller ) Got another Omake for you to link.

 

[Freefaller]

Minda City List

Ugea

• Shubeon
  • Accordia - Capital
  • Rolling Green's - Nexus City - Farming
  • Augir - Nexus City - Mining
  • Roxatory - Nexus City - Production
• Alhea
  • Vrectin - Nexus City - Production
• Mukrix
  • No Nexus Cities

Just a little organizational tool to have a place to put all the cities names and such. I don't want to keep jumping around my 60 page google doc just to find a name.

Also, any future city name suggestions are always welcome. FantasyNameGenerators is great but it can only do so much.

Thanks for reading!

-Freefaller

 

[Nikoli]

Omake 5

Imperial News Bulletin

Governor of Minda offers Special Bounty

In an address today, the Imperial Governor of Minda offered a Special Bounty for the capture of the "Twin Crowns" Pirate Group's Lucrehulk. In exchange for the ship, he has authorized the granting of an Imperial Remit. Said Imperial Remit will authorize the acknowledgment of existing Beskar ownership sufficient to armor 2,500 Mandolorians infantry armor. Those Mandolorians who have not yet had a chance to declare their beskar ownership to Imperial Forces will instead be granted ownership of their current beskar armor in place of any beskar being paid out of Imperial reserves, while supply lasts. Additional payments are available for each ship captured above a Frigate weight class.

End of Imperial News Bulletin


20 days after first Imperial News broadcast about the bounty.

Imperial Sensor operator, "Commodore, sensors are reading a massive fleet exiting hyperspace. Sensors confirm the Lucrehulk is with the fleet. We are still trying to get an accurate count but it looks like over 18,600 vessels!"

Comms officer, "Commodore, we are being hailed."

Commodore, "Open channel."

"This is Kel of the Mandolorian Bounty Hunter's association. We are here to turn in our bounty. We have captured the Lucrehulk intact and another 300 vessels engaged in pirate operations. We expect acknowledgement by the Imperial governor of our ownership of the beskar currently in our possession."

Governor, "Well this worked a bit too well. But an agreement is an agreement. Be aware that I can only guarantee this acknowledgement will be followed within my own domain. How many beskar suits are you declaring?"

Kel, "52,450,500 armor suits with beskar portions, and another 345,000 tons of beskar ignots."

Governor, "The current ships delivered will only cover acknowledgement of 28,500 suits. Would you care to work out a payment plan for acknowledgement of the rest? I accept ships and vehicles in good condition, especially those from pirate and slavers, along with their heads."

Kel, "Governor, I believe this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship."

Thus the founding of New Mandalor occurred on the death world in the Minda system. It would come to pass that over time the governor would go onto greater postings but his influence would remain. This is especially true with New Manadalor and the Mandalorian Bounty Hunter Association at their new Headquarters in the Minda system. Along with, Minda's Refurbished Starship Lot, which continues to this day to offer rock bottom prices for ships recovered from pirates and slaver scum. All proceeds go to keeping the fight going against the pirates and slaver scum of the galaxy.

Joining us tonight to discuss the impact this event had on the decline of the pirate and slave menance. With further discussion on the political problems faced by the governor and opportunities granted by his association with the Manadolorians. Also in discussion is whether or not the Mandalorians were responsible for the rapid rise of the governor to his position as Emperor. Speculation has always been there in part due to the number of Imperial Moffs, governors, admirals, and other government officials who were found dead over the coming years. Joining us tonight is Dr…

@Freefaller
Got another Omake for you to link.
Also feel free to re-post these omakes on the other sites you are posting this story on.

 

[Nikoli]

Omake 6
"A TIE variant factory should be enough to satisfy Momma Mola, right? I check Las's memories real quick.
Fuck me, I have a lot of work to do."

Scene opens.
Momma Mola arrives in system.

Sensor officer, "Dommie mommie, we have detected over 200,000 ships and structures in system. There appears to be several thousand mining operations in the asteroid field. Furthermore, we are detecting a Kuat style orbital ring around the primary settled world. Also, Minda 1 appears to be undergoing conversion into the Starkiller base and it looks like the Star Forge is operating at full capacity and producing several thousand ships and fighters a week. (Edited the following in after the Lord Vader post a few down about him helping on the design teams) Lord Vader's personally designed prototype, "The Biggest Stick" is undergoing space trials while Lord Vader is currently in the reopened Minda Eve Classic Pod Race and is currently the favorite to win."

Communication officer, "Madam private communication for you."

Momma Mola after reading her message and conversing with her private network of watchers, "Disappointing. He still cannot clean his own room or do the important things. I sent him here to be able to take care of himself and meet girls and he still can't even do those simple things himself. Well at least he didn't make a mess of things in the system. Now I hear he has been seeing a nice woman but I don't see a ring yet. I gave him two years to get this job done and he is still not there. I need to remind him of some things so he can hurry up and make me some grandbabies to spoil. Emperor knows his sisters will not give me any."

Trailer from the Historical Romantic Documentary, "How I met my mother-in-law." Joining us tonight to discuss the early life of the Imperial family and the historical accuracy of this documentary is Dr…

@Freefaller
Got another Omake for you to link.

 

[Nikoli]

Galaxy of Metal Heads, Volume 91,043, "Presentation"

Remember Kids, the difference between being a Villain racer and a Supervillain Pod Racer is Presentation.

~Lord Vader Pod racing published as a Comic in ABY 1 (during / after Empire Strikes Back in Legends continuity).


This popularized comics strip, included in a special edition of the Metal Head magazine, was published by the Minda Comics Book Emporium in ABY 1. Per the official history, Lord Vader took a sabbatical to Minda to update his cybernetic suit after the introduction of the Minda Engineer PDA. While there he joined several Engineering teams and is credited with assisting in the development of a wide range of technology that would be placed in production in the coming years.

This comic was published in honor of his work on the pod racer that was a joint project by several of the departments as a hobby project. When Lord Vader learned of the project, he was interested in what the engineers had planned. After some meetings which were not recorded and several visits of the engineers to the local nurse office for bruises. Lord Vader transferred the project under his Aegis and after spending 9 months of work and several million credits created the finest pod racer in existence. Upon its initial introduction, Lord Vader drove his creation and broke several records in the Bonta Eve Classic including being the second human to complete said race but with a much faster time than Anakin Skywalker. Other records set include first recorded use of a lightsaber in the races. Said pod racer (vehicle, Lord Vader sadly passed in his sleep to much sadness by his devoted fanbase and family in ABY, REDACTED - by order of Imperial Archivists) would hold this title for over 750 years with limited upgrades in its design.

Later in this program local Tato systems pilot Luke Skywalker (son of Anakin Skywalker) will be joining us in a special remote interview where he reminisces on his joining of the Core pod racer circuit in ABY 1 and his rivalry with Lord Vader on the circuit.

Joining us tonight to discuss the impact that Lord Vader had on the re-popularization of pod racing in the Imperial hierarchy is famed sports commentator…

@Freefaller
Got another Omake for you to link.

 

[Nikoli]

The Billion Dollar Credit Governor.

Imperial Intelligence
Classification: Emperor's Eyes Only
Location: Minda Capital, Minda System
Incident: Experimental Equipment explosion.

Responding Agent: Minda Assigned Agent (see report M:123:SF.198).

Initial findings: At 13:45 local time the governor and garrison commander were attending an experimental weapons test when an apparent programming fault caused the artillery suit to explode. Forensics investigators are still investigating whether this incident was caused by deliberate sabotage or the usual R&D issues. (See follow up report IH:237:120.FR).

Governor's status was critical upon recovery. Extensive damage occurred with initial stabilization efforts forced to utilize experimental medical equipment. (See Classified project BILLION CREDIT MAN for full accounting of technical specifications and procedures).

Result: Governor is first successful test subject to survive full implementation of cybernetics. Current operational capabilities include advanced neural interface, EWAR capabilities from integrated VI assistant, Ability to run DOOM, improved bone structure with corotosis, beskar, and pyrik weave, integrated personal force and ray shields, repulsor built into lower legs and back, and attachments for a 30 mm hellbore gattling gun. Also, integrated multitasking and sensor suites to assist in bureaucracy (See BUREAUCRACY 2.0 Project for full technical abilities).

Agent recommendations: Additional OSHA guidelines are needed for when having VIPs in close proximity to live fire weapon testing to prevent a recurrence. After rehab it is suggested that the Governor be fast tracked for rapid promotion as his new software makes him ideal to coordinate and control at an optimal level of efficiency the Imperial Bureaucracy at its highest levels.

Classification Level moved from Top Secret to Emperor's Eye's Only by order of Lord Vader.

Joining us tonight is famed Riper Doc Vik, who is credited with being the primary doctor/engineer who saved the Emperor's life (then governor of Minda). There has always been unconfirmed rumors that Adam Smasher Lord Vader offered up his own experimental cybernetics project, which he was prototyping in the local labs. Hopefully our guest may be able to shed some light on this and other rumors. Dr Vik what can you tell us about this recently declassified documentation around the first acknowledged case of …


@Freefaller
Got another Omake for you to link.

 

[PurpleTwilight]

Spoiler: Report on the effectives of TIE "Defender" Multi-Role Starfighter over the TIE line Space Superiority Starfighter

Report on the effectives of
TIE "Defender" Multi-Role Starfighter
over the
TIE line Space Superiority Starfighter

Naval Staff Office of Minda

33:4:1​

​

In light of the rebellion unorthodox tactics I will say that the TIE "Defender" Multi-Role Starfighter prototype, which I will refer thereafter as the Defender, was a resounding success. Despite what the bean counters will have you believe.

The main objective of securing the target was unsuccessful and disregarding the unique spacial terrain of the nebula the combat performance was remarkable. Consider this, the Defender performed so well the rebels had to disable it since they could not out fight it.

With three hits a Y-wing was completely unrecoverable and with a direct hit two more were found in the same condition. Based on Y-wing's shield, hull, and maneuverability ratings the X-wing should be downed more often. Half the rated hull and a third of the shielding make the X-wing much more venerable to glancing shots. I see in the armament section a tractor beam is optional. This should be required.

Based on the last known figures of the X-wing and Y-wing sale figures from Incom Corporation and Koensayr Manufacturing the defenders performance would give us a significant resource advantage in fighter trading against the Rebellion. It should be noted that the TIE line Space Superiority Starfighter's low cost, hence after TIE line, is due to the ubiquity of the parts. Comparing the cost of one factory making bespoke parts for a prototype to the most ubiquitous starfighter in the galaxy is the most absurd proposition I have heard from an accountant. Still doesn't top the spending on finding and training the top pilots and putting them into cheap screaming metal death traps, but I digress.

If we assume an X-wing is 20% more effective than a TIE line fighter, a low estimate, then the minimum trading per X-Wing will be two fighters. However, based on actual combat data, X-wings cut through TIE squadrons like a thrashing rancor. The reports from the Blockade of Lothal have TIE lines trading 1 to 3, not in our favor, in some after action reports. That is roughly 180,000 credits destroyed compared to the 149,999 credits risked by Rebels'. That is even assuming they bought the X-wing new. During the Blockade of Lothal in spite of the insubordination of the Defender's pilot it had already traded evenly, destroying two X-Wings.

It should be noted going forward that the following figures are based on the TIE line as a value of performance of 1 and the X-wing is given a low estimate of 1.2. The combat figures for the Defender are based of its performance against X-wings and Y-wings. A trade of 1 to 5 in favor for the Defender with the low estimate of 1.2 for the X-wing gives the Defender a performance value of 6 when compared to a TIE line.

If we assume the performance of a TIE line as 1 we can derive some ratios to make decisions and explain the focus on the TIE line. Calculating the Value per Unit Cost, VUC, and using the TIE's number as a denominator we can create a meaningful ratio. The X-wing's ratio is 0.48. This might explain why the accountants favor the TIE line. "Look at this ratio. The TIE is a good deal" they might say ignoring the after action reports of the material and personal lost. Even in the bleakest scenarios of personal incompetence or odds the Defender is better than the TIE line in its best justification, cost effectiveness, ranging from 0.72 to 1.20 in value over a TIE line fighter.

In the scenario presented earlier the Defender traded roughly evenly and when commanded by an experienced pilot destroyed 3 Y-wings then made a gunship and 2 Y-wings flee. The objectives of the battle are superfluous details to its combat performance. It destroyed 404,997 credits in fighters and made 424,998 of damaged enemy assets flee. In both of these scenarios the Defender was a priority target in the battle and was generally outnumbered with other TIE lines providing very little support as combat escorts. Based on combat figures of the Y-wings compared to X-wings a Defender should roughly trade 1 to 5 X-wings, in our favor. A low-end estimate would be 1 to 3 based on the combat data from the Blockade of Lothal if the pilot followed orders.

When we get into Incremental Cost‑Effectiveness Ratio [ICER] under the assumption of 1 to 3 trades in our favor we get some interesting data. The ICER of a TIE line to an X-wing is 449,995, but Defender to an X-wing is 62,500. It is cheaper per performance to field Defenders against X-wings, the primary combat platform of the Rebellion or it takes a lot more credits in TIE lines than Defenders to defeat X-wings.

A small aside, the Net Present Value [NPV] is even better than the TIE by 166% with 1 to 3 trades. This soars to 566% with 1 to 5 trades. This is amazing even from a simplified battle cycle analysis. This is the metric that really matters. These are starfighters not show pieces.

The X-wing despite being used by the Rebellion as a space superiority fighter is not one. It is a multi-role fighter and if given the chance will cause severe damage to capital ships, shown time and time again. An entire squadron of TIE line fighters can be completely wiped out and would only be considered a rounding error compared to the cost of an Imperial I-Star Destroyer. A 1 to 1000 trade for the Rebels is unacceptable. At least with the Defender if a Star Destroyer goes down the fighters are not all lost too and can be used to reinforce another or new Star Destroyer's squadrons.

This is not even considering the tactical options of random patrols of small-craft rather than big cruisers that announce our system presence, the patrolling of space, or the reasons for adopting the Tarkin doctrine. The Defender would nicely address all these issues, but that is for another report.

The Naval Staff Office of Minda recommends that the Defender replaces the TIE line as the new starfighter combat platform. The Defender simply provides more combat performance per credit spent. A space superiority variant should also be highly considered.

Signed,
The Naval Staff Office of Minda

@Freefaller
My attempt at an omake, but i got a mind of metals and wheels XD
gonna hit the hay

 

[Yacov]

Omake: Minda's Most Influential Export

Various planets around the Myto Sector
3 ABY

——

"Alright *hick* this ish the final thing of the day."

"Yes boss, just sign here and those new monuments to your benevolent rule can get started."

*glug glug glug glug* "Greash! Having youse handle all thesh boring peteetshons wash my besh idea. Ishnt that right my darling Ayyyyyy?"

"Just happy to be of service boss. Now I believe your 2pm "consultation appointment" is waiting in your quarters."

"Yesh! Being Bossh ish the besh! Wheresh my drink?"

"Here you go boss. It is from your off work drink cabinet. Enjoy the rest of your day."

*glug glug* "You ash well! My loveshly secra, secr, doing work pershon!"

*Bang!*

…

*Click vrrr vrrr*

"Hey Saila, good news. The governor has signed off on the funds for those new schools and orphanages."

"That's wonderful Ayy. You always know how to sweet talk the governor when it comes to flimsiwork. Must be those Mindan organization skills. Is there any way I can repay you?"

"No problem at all, just keep those kids off the streets and in those classrooms."

——

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! UNHAND ME THIS INSTANCE!"

*Bang!*

"I hope you can understand the seriousness of the ISB having to intervene in these matters."

"Of course ma'am. I had no idea the governor was in league with the Black Sun."

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I OWN YOU! I OWN THIS DIRTBALL! THIS IS MY KINGDOM AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT!"

*Wham!*

"We know. Our reports came up clean on you."

"Thank you for the compliment ma'am. I try to steer clear of anything murky."

"DAX! DAX! TELL THEM THIS IS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING! DAX!"

*Slam!*

"I trust you can handle things until Coruscant deigns to send a replacement governor to this easy to look over backwater?"

"He left all the boring work like taxes and infrastructure to me ma'am. We Mindans are used to that. Shouldn't be too hard to pick up the rest."

——

"Citizens! Our governor is slain! Slain by traitorous rebels!"

*whoooaaaoaaa*

"These dissidents are not your protectors! They do not seek your safety! They seek merely to topple the government and revel in the chaos that follows!"

*haaaaaa*

"Where were the Rebels when Minda was beset by hordes of pirates!? Was it the Rebels who broke the backs of the syndicates and freed the people of Edin!?"

*Nooooooo!*

"By my pride as a Mindan graduate, I will not allow this world fall to chaotic ruin! Already I have ordered the brave garrison to assist security forces in conducting swift but fair investigations to track down these assassins!"

*Yeeaaaah!*

"We are all in this together! I plead with everyone to remain in your homes unless it is absolutely necessary! Report anybody you don't know running through the streets! Trust in your neighbors and the Empire's institutions to protect you!"

——

"Thank you for all you've done Undergov… I mean Secretary Ayy."

——

"Very well. I look forward to good news from you Administrator Dax. Or should I say Interim Governor Dax?

——

"Together we will overcome this time of crisis! So I vow as Emergency Military Governor Timerck!"

——

Minda, Las' Office

Hmm, I hope those administrators I approved to be sent abroad are doing well. Maybe I should send some gift baskets with signed letters to keep their spirits up.

Thankfully I managed to convince them to stay in the Myto sector where it's relatively quiet. Can't have them stumble upon some of the Empire nastier messes and running their mouths.

Might even be considered a favor to those worlds. After all who doesn't like a quiet and efficient administrator?

 

[Yacov]

Have an Omake to celebrate the end of an arc.

——

Omake: Three Square Meals to a Counter Revolution

POV: In a blood splattered Imperial Communications Room, 4 ABY

Brrriii!

"Chobb's knob! There's nothing in here!"

This is an Emergency Holonet Communication to all Imperial Holdings!

"You said there'd be food, Movlek! The only reason we joined this lightfight is because you said the Imps were hoarding the food to replace us with mechanicals!"

Earlier this year the Emperor and several high ranking Imperials were killed by the Rebel Alliance in the Endor system earlier this year. I repeat, the Emperor is dead!

"And what do end up with from this "lum run"? A sand mine full of dead Imps and some flimsi saying food shipments and resupply haven't arrived for two months!"

Disruptions to regular Imperial shipments, bureaucracy, and communication are expected continue for the foreseeable future.

"Your reb friend fed us a flam, koochoo! Three days since you sent out that encrypted commo and nothing. We were always chopped convor liver for the Alliance!"

Communication with Dubrillion is currently unavailable due to ongoing civil unrest. As a result recovery efforts have relocated to the Mindan Recovery Committee.

"No we are not eating the Imps! It has been less than a force-forsaken week since the riots and things have gone poodoo. Don't you go calling me a tailhead! May spice salt your wounds!"

Please contact the given holonet frequencies for the relevant recovery requests such as: food assistance, resource shortages, peacekeeper dispatches…

"Eat it with that "I have spoken" nonsense you neurowashed old bat! Rebels ain't coming and the number-squinter says anymore futzing around will get us all kriffed! We don't have a farthier in this race! At least the Seccers fed us!"

…dearth of administrators, cargo ship appeals, military fleet reallocations, or military garrison requests.

"Gutkurr got your tongue, Movlek? Wouldn't have had to gut you like a Ghest if you weren't such a Blurrg in the mud. Three weeks and you were damaged goods over being a doggy for the rebs."

Remember, our duty as Imperials is to protect the lives of the Imperial citizens, and ensure the order of their daily lives continue.

"Right, scale-brain! Get a blaster and start blasting around, but don't hit anything important. Pirates raided us and the Imps died defending this piece of druk mining complex. That's the story, and if we are all flying the same vector they might just believe it."

The Empire is more than the Emperor. It is a duty, and a responsibility. Let us prove to the galaxy that we are worthy of being called an Imperial.

"Alright let's get that comm call up and running. Hope these Mindan folk keep to their promises, and let sleeping rancors lie."

Brrriii! This is an Emergency Holonet…

——

Cross posted to SB and SV

 

[Yacov]

Have an Omake to celebrate the new chapter.

——

Omake: Guild-A-Gear

POV: Garik Malo
RII: Enforcer, recently promoted
Certifications: Tracker I pending
Edin System, Edinspire, Guild's Guild-A-Gear Emporium, Mercenary section

"C'mon Garik, it's not going to eat you."

Garik looked discerning at the material before him. Trying to find some flaw in its design.

"I don't know Tak, this pattern of armorweave just isn't speaking to me."

Tak gave a look at the disorganized pile behind them, and how it's grown since the last time she looked.

"Sure, like the last five bolts we looked at. Garik you're rank two now. You got to find something better than that discounted Espo Armor you got at the end of the registration course."

Garik responded with an indignant humph. Attempting to sound personally offended.

"I am just grateful they were willing to do the fitting for the helmet around the horn. Headwear fit for an Advozse is hard to get this far from Riflor.

Besides, I'll have you know this armor works just fine. Remember how it saved me when we were chasing that dangerous criminal on Minda?"

The unimpressed look Tak gave informed Garik just how convincing that statement was.

"You mean that serial pickpocket who tried smacking you with a pot? If it wasn't for those old shockmitts of yours, that Kubaz might have scampered away from you.

This isn't Rolling Green's, Garik. Edin has a different breed of criminal. Far more likely to carry blasters instead of cooking ware."

The window looked inviting as Tak's words struck home.

"Uhh…I just want to look my best for our first convoy escort. You get to do all the talking as the Negotiator, while I am stuck in the back looking intimidating. Is it wrong if I want to look the part? "

"Just as long as you aren't expecting to show up in beskar. At our budget even some good Flexi-mesh for Blast Armor is out of the picture."

A display catches Tak's eye and a plan begins to form.

"Tell you what, word has it the Guild just came into a shipment of Smasher Armor. It should allow those punches of yours to hit even harder. That stuff over there is what they use to make Catch Vests. Let's see if they can't fashion you a surcoat so a lucky blaster bolt doesn't lay you out."

Garik takes his time looking at the price tags before giving a huff.

"Fine. Let's just make sure the color matches my style. We could also see about getting me a blaster. A used CDEF model since those are a cred stick a dozen. I might not be able to hit a shaak in an open field, but more bolts down range always helps."

Tak gave a playful elbow before guiding Garik to the counter.

"Now you're thinking like a professional."

——

Yes the entire Omake was so I could make that pun at the beginning.

Crossposted on SV, and SB

 

[Yacov]

Omake: Fleeing to a Backwater

POV Git Emol, frustrated immigrant

"This is an outrage! Do you know who I am!?"

The glassy eyed receptionist did not even give the satisfaction of glancing up at him. Him! He was Git Emol!

"I am sorry sir, but these documents justifying an expedited immigration process use identification which has expired."

Expired? Expired! A month after that atrocious stay in Arrth-Eno and suddenly the whole galaxy is upside down!

"Read it again. It says Senator, Sen-a-tor! That means I am one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy!"

Sure the Senate was dissolved. And maybe he slept with the wives of the governor now in charge of the planet he was representing, but the title still had power by the Void! Traditions and their influence just don't evaporate overnight!

"Sir under the new regulations, only immigrants with up to date documentation can apply for an expedited immigration process. Both your identification and academic diploma have been rescinded by order of an Imperial Court."

What!? He'd paid good donations for that diploma! Oh this stinks of meddling. Who was it?

Was it Gekit Furot after he covertly published that article questioning their family's breeding? Or did my Kiffar maid decide to take revenge after forcing her to clean up after a Senatorial party one too many times? Maybe Senator Jink is finally paying him back for that "buglover" tattoo he tricked him into getting back when we were Apprentice Legislators. Oh the Kubaz had never forgiven him for that, but everyone hazes the new species.

"This is unacceptable! I demand to speak to your manager at once!"

Bribing this peon is a waste of good credits. Better save for a bigger fish with what little funds he had access to. He was down to his last dozen million credits. The Empire might have his official accounts still frozen, but they hadn't found out about his secret accounts.

He was able to smuggle out the codes the same way he always does. Foolish customs officers. They always fall for the datachip in the oiled up head fold routine!

"And what should I say is the nature of your request?"

Registering a trade company in this new-fangled Guild would be his next step. It should allow him to transfer his money into business accounts and keep it out of the Imperial Auditors grubby mitts. Cousin Woz was doing well with a weapons company in a nearby sector. Perhaps he would be interested in opening a branch on Minda?

"Tell them an affluent businessman wants to discuss investments into Minda's growing economy."

With what's left of his capital, he'll have to play things smart. Minda received a B+ from the Sentate's Council of Labor Abuses. The highest rating a planet can get without bribing the Council. He may have to give more slack to the help than he's used to, but let it not be said that Git isn't an adaptive Bargawin.

Watch out galaxy! He may have taken a tumble, but Ex-Senator Git Emol still going to come out on top yet again!

——

Crossposted on SB and SV

 

[Yacov]

Omake: Copycat Governor

POV Governor Gedes, planet Kabo, Myto Sector, 1 ABY

"Lord Governor, are you sure this is a wise course of action?"

Secretary Tis sniveled in that same grating tone he always does. Honestly if he wasn't so good at filing out forms Gedes would have left him overseeing the Outlands Bantha farms.

"Absolutely my dear Tis. The Mindan Model states all military buildups are precipitated by seizure of assets from the enemies of the Empire."

Ah the Mindan Model. That little planet had become a rising star in the sector. Studying their form of government while Gedes was taking his well earned vacation on Dubrillion had given him so many ideas.

"But the director of the local SoroSuub branch had no evidence of dissidence. Won't arresting him and seizing these warehouses cause problems?"

Another reason Gedes kept Tis around. His small headedness let Gede's brilliance shine all the more.

"Of course not Tis. I recently received a report from the ISB that director Fleb's niece has joined the Rebels in the Galactic South. A grievous sin for any self respecting Imperial family."

Gedes couldn't help but grin as further crates were brought out of the warehouse. He gazed at them like a Jawa at a scrap pile.

"This is obviously evidence that the director has rebel sympathies and planned to distribute these supplies to Rebel cells. Now we will be using them for a far more noble purpose."

Deny Gedes' requests for reinforcements will they? Pfah, nothing had changed in Dubrillion, even after the Moff was replaced. Well wait until they see what he can do with this. A new army to enforce the Empire's will. His will.

——

"Loyal Imperials of Kabo! Hear me!"

Rows of Mk 45 Protective Vests turned their attention towards Gedes. It was much easier procuring them when he only had to worry about one body type. They glistened almost like new to his eyes.

"The Rebels have grown bold since Yavin! They see in the destruction of one station as the death of the Empire! Now they circle like vermin upon a corpse! Will you allow that!?"

"NO!"

Rows of blasters raised in defiance. The front rows of modern OK-98s and QuickSnap 36Ts did well to hide the motley collection of E-5s and a few M-300s further back. Gedes could swear there was a Blaster Spear in the mix.

"This new phase of the New Order demands a new citizen. One willing to chase these Rebels into the holes and caves they haunch in! Are you those citizens!?"

"YES MY LORD GOVERNOR!"

The gathered fists raised into the air. Soft hands of the cities molded into fists to crush Gedes' enemies. On each forearm a band displaying an armband with the Imperial Cog painted brown.

Governor Las had the right idea. Some issues needed to be solved at the local level with local forces. However, that doesn't mean his private army of Guild mercenaries was perfect.

"That's right! You are greater than Minda's Lucre Force, scrambling for gold and fame! You are the beating of the Empire! The purist of blood that shall wash clean this world of rebels and dissidents!"

"YEAH!""HAAA!""Death to the Alien!"

Even the engines in the back roared to his words. X-34 landspeeders with Z-6 Rotary Blaster bolted on accompanied by packs of Starhawks to run down routing Rebels.

"On this day I see the heralds of a new age on Kabo! I name you the People's Purity Guard! May we never be stained!"

"MAY WE NEVER BE STAINED!"

——

"But Lord Governor how will you pay for this?"

Gedes grinned as he now could further show off his genius.

"Simple Tis. You know how we have struggled with collecting those new taxes in the Outlands?"

Tis cocked his head as if this wasn't a simple math problem.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with paying for this force?"

"Well one other thing I have learned from studying the Mindan Model is the power of delegation."

Not that Gedes would give power to the common sentient. That would be madness. How Governor Las expects his realm to remain stable with such placation is beyond him.

"The issue is the Imperial government in Kabo currently lacks the administrative capacity to enforce these taxes. So why don't we just get someone else to do it?

We will divide the PPG based on strongmen leaders, and have them auction for the right to enforce taxes on a province for the year. Paying up front if they win the bid of course."

Tis nodded as if following along. Like he could understand Gedes' brilliant innovation to the Mindan Model.

"Okay but why would these leaders pay for the right to collect taxes?"

"That's the best part. When they collect enough to pay off their bid, these leaders can keep the excess for themselves. This will inevitably be used to maintain their power bases and Bam! Self paying armies while the Empire gets guaranteed income."

The Mindan Model is truly a work of genius, and with the addition of Gede's Tax Farming innovation, it shall allow Gede and Kabo to reach and even surpass Minda's rise to prominence! Perhaps they will even start calling it the Kabone Model instead!

——

The prompt for this was asking myself how an Imperial Governor would try to follow Las' example, but poorly with zero build up and a more "corrupt Imperial" mindset.

Also I wanted to try my hand at designing a pro-Imperial Paramilitary Force made up of civilian arms, nationalized stockpiles, and old army surplus.

Cross posted on SB and SV

 

[Yacov]

Omake: Blood in the Void

POV Orrbck the Trash Pontiff, unnamed system near Kaddak, 0ABY

"Your eminence! Message came through."

Orrbck directed a stalk away from their Mitochondria Crunchy Surprise. This distraction better be worth it, or they'd descale this lesser with their own appendages.

"Well, whad are you waiding for? Gib ib here!"

Orrbck snatched the data pad from the lesser's hands. Really, only having 4 appendages at all times was such a burden for them. They'd be pitiable if Orrbck bothered to consider them.

"Now dis is inderesding. Seems mudual friends broughd a gifd!"

This "mutual friends" person had come out of the junk heap once the Empire began snubbing everyone pseudopods. They were a great blessing to Orrbck's holy work. Guiding their forces to many sacred sites left over from before the Empire. They even had the wisdom to leave the more Sanctified vessels under Orrbck's care.

Working with this "mutual friends" was much better than ArrMuck's plan. Following the Empire's wake like a lesser rummaging for scraps in that one system. What was it called? Tavin or something.

"Dose Mynocks in Rothana habe emerged from their holes!"

The data pad noted the KDY corporate-security fleet's continuing departure from the system. Not even the Clone Wars had been able to get them out of that bolt hole of theirs. This could only mean one thing: a divine sign that they are leaving behind junk!

"Errsk! Brrrepare da fleed! Der is holy work do be done!"

The instruments of Orrbck's crusade must be immaculate. The Pelta had to be slimed down and ready to receive all the blessed detritus waiting for them. They couldn't help but jiggle at the thought of all that sweet trash.

If any less pious scavengers tries to take Orrbck's claim, that is what their squad of beatified DP20 Gunships was for. Modified to their tastes with four Beauties bolted on for extra fighter support. They should be more than enough to handle any competition or sentimental hoarders Kuat leaves behind.

"Dis is our momend! Blessings and boundy awaids us! Granded by the Angel of Taxations and Imports!"

This could be Orrbck's chance to get back in the good graces of the Holy Ugor Taxation Collection Agency! They might even realize their error and have Orrbck's excommunication revoked!

Really, calling Orrbck a sinner just because of their Preemptive Garbage Collection techniques. These ships and cargo would have wound up in disposal eventually. Not like the lessers aboard mattered.

"Dey mighd even led me indo the sysdem of Baradise without charging the Ceremonial Donation! Onward! Salvation Awaids!"

——

"Hey Errsk, why do let the slime ball talk to you like that? You're their second in command, they should respect you more."

The Trandoshan looked at his fellow pirate like he was crazy.

"Are you kidding? Boss Orrbck might talk a big game and the workplace is covered in slime more often than not. However when it comes time to divide the booty, Orrbck is a a blessing from the Scorekeeper. Always takes the worst stuff as "relics" and leaves the valuable stuff for the crew.

I've put my clutchmate through technician academy in under a year working for them. Stick with us kid, and you'll see how many of boss Orrbck's "miracles" turn out to be genuine."

The new recruit looked intrigued, but unconvinced.

"Just don't put me in one of those Uglies strapped to the DP20s. Looks liable to fly off in Hyperspace."

——

This Omake is brought to you by the fact in canon these theocratic garbage worshipping Oozes called Ugors managed to steal the DS1's Gravity Well Tether post-Yavin and make it their Holy of Holies in their "System of Paradise" i.e. system wide junkyard.

Crossposted on SB and SV.

 

[Yacov]

Have another Omake. Wrote it around the same time as the last one, but didn't want to post both at once.

——

Omake: Blood on the Mud

POV Sergeant Neca Bil of the Children of Atraken, Atraken, outside Labor Camp 214-B, 0 ABY

Ksssshhh…

The stormtrooper grasped at his helmet as Neca pinned him with her boot. If the hole in his visor and face dug by her climbing pick didn't do him in, then the biochemical agents in the world's atmosphere will finish the job. Good, let the dog choke on his master's failure.

"Alpha squad report."

Phase I Clone Armor emerged from the shadows carrying the helmets from the rest of the Enemy patrol. The sickly liquids still bubbling on the aged suits from the Death Typhoon raging outside. However you would be hard pressed to tell their origin at a glance.

Once pristine white plastoid had taken on the greenish brown only obtained from decades of mud and poison. What plates were no longer usable were exchanged for makeshift plates made from diehard shells. Their blaster resistant nature working for their hunters instead of against them.

…ssshhhhh…

The sleek helmets had been jury rigged with heavy rebreathers harvested from the Enemy. Care taken with the modification not to allow any outside air to seep in.

Anything to maintain the body glove's atmospheric protection. What had once been an uncomfortable fit had turned into a second skin for them. Their coffins against the toxic atmosphere of their homeworld.

"What should we do with the corpses ma'am?"

…ssshhhhh…

The glare from Private Grum was the newest addition to her squad's kit. Some new computer you could wear on your arm. A gift from their "mutual friends". Shame the luminescence made us have to keep it covered most of the time.

The brightness was annoying and potentially lethal, but Grum's comlink gave out a month ago and they hadn't been able to get back to headquarters to fix it. So this "PDA's" text to speech function it was.

…ssshhhhh…

"Standard procedure. Harvest the filters and dump the bodies in a nearby crater. Bugs and sludge will take care of the rest."

This was the closest patrol they had hit from the target. We wanted the enemy off our world and our "mutual friends" wanted these camps shut down. As long as they kept sending supplies she couldn't care less what their game was.

"Right, we keep reconning this area to keep it clear of the enemy. If no call has gone out Beta Squad has a few hours to get Dome Popper in position."

The old AT-AP might not have its legs anymore, but the cannon had been lovingly cared for. The main weapon of the Children of Atraken against the Enemy's repeated attempts to take the world from them since the Disaster.

…sshhh.

"Listen up! The Enemy has set up a mining camp just to the south. They invaded our home, poisoned our world, and now dump the dregs of their society on it to steal the resources from us, its rightful owners. Are you going to allow that?"

"NO MA'AM!"

"Right! When Dome Popper gets here, we'll send hypersonic shells into their habitation units, their starport, and their mine entrance. Let the toxin the Enemy brought to our house cleanse them from this world, dregs and all! Death to the Republic!"

"DEATH TO THE REPUBLIC!"

——

This Omake brought to you by the fact that I realized that Atraken would make an excellent spot for a cartoonishly evil labor camp. Just prime real estate for an evil dictatorship to work the malcontents to death in.

Crossposted on SB and SV

 

[Yacov]

Omake: The Bouncing Wastrels of Rolling Greens'

POV: Baronet Wes Telen, on the Telen Villa, an hour ride with Wes' JG-8 speeder from the farthest train station from the Rolling Greens' Nexus City, Minda, 0ABY

Wes lounged on his Shaak shaped bean bag with his friends. The Butter-Basted Land Shrimp having long cooled. Importing it from Kashyyyk was costly, but nothing the help filing a request to the Guild couldn't fix. The lull of the mid-afternoon sun affecting them all as they couldn't finish the dish.

"Oku my dear, tell the kitchen to fetch the Bespin Cloud Drops in case our guests get peckish."

"As you wish, Young Master."

The Klatooinian in an impeccable suit gave a bow. Having served multiple generations of the Telen family and Wes in particular long enough to know to take his time.

Really Oku was a dear. Knew his place in the household and managed the things beneath Wes' notice. Why if Oku weren't around, Wes might have to eat those vile dessert cubes he saw when touring an Imperial base last season on the family Patriotism Tour.

"Now where were we? I believe we were discussing the progress in your latest gallery Dolmo?"

The Snivvian perked up and her nostrils flared, as they always do when she's excited. A bit endearing back in her youth.

"Oh it went wonderfully. The guests at Accordia were lovely folk. A Major Councilor even discussed doing a family portrait for his family."

She must have shown her early work then. Poor Dolmo has been in a rut since her breakout on Coruscant all those years ago. The fact the Mindan elite appreciated it meant we were far enough away from the Core for those museum pieces to still be novel.

Really they should have stopped patronizing Dolmo. However, the Telen Family needed to maintain appearances with displays of largesse. Besides, Dolmo's habits were neither expensive nor excessive, so little harm done. Perhaps this wonderful scenery will reignite that spark she had in her younger years.

"And how about you Raza? That homegrown Shaak stable of yours doing well?"

Raza's gold eyes shifted a bit too quickly for decorum. Belying the base greed that drives the Arcona. The merchant had been letting the Welle Coporation's promotion to Consortium rank get to his head. Raza even began thinking he could participate in the august activity of owning a stable for Shaak racing, the fool.

"Quite well, quite well. The stable is coming together. Even came in third in the last race it partook in."

Third? I suppose that is adequate for minor races this far in the Outer Rim. Nothing compared to proper Telen stock. The Telen family had been breeding racing Shaaks for centuries.

Still this world was adequate for raising Shaak stock. Minimal industrialization unlike the Core kept the local feed nutritious. A passably competent Governor ensuring the riff raff stay out of business that is above their station in life.

Probably why Father had decided to build a ranch villa here and entrust its vital operation to Wes. That and there weren't any "requests" for additional funding. Why the dreadful stories he heard from some of his peers when they chose a poor location to purchase another estate.

"Speaking of Shaak racing, how is that adorable jockey Dratho doing Wes? He looked rather dashing taking the podium in the Mid Rim Derby last month."

Yes Dolmo, make your infatuation for the Anzellan more apparent why don't you? Really if it weren't for the biological differences, Wes would have kept him far away from Dolmo to keep anything scandalous from happening. Perhaps it would finally give the Telens a reason to cut the dead weight loose if something were to occur.

"Young Master dessert is served."

There is Oku with the save! He could kiss that canine faced mug for his impeccable timing.

"There isn't any salt in these, right Wes? Not looking for another trip to rehab any time soon."

"Why Raza I am insulted. What kind of host would I be if I didn't accommodate my guests' needs?"

It was even the truth. There were no salt in the treats. Yet. Father had no instructed Wes to make nice with the rising industrial class in this sector. That doesn't mean he couldn't keep a nice hook handy should the situation require.

"Also Young Master, it is time for your daily check in at the stables."

I could punch that ugly dog faced mutt! Bringing up work while I was entertaining my guests. Still one must attend to their duties even at the most inconvenient times.

"Fine, fine. Bring over the comlink."

It took no time at all for Oku to bring the ornate device to Wes' bean bag.

"Hello Bettie, how is the Ranch holding up?"

"Completely satisfactory, young master. The Shaaks are happy and Spacious Grin is in the third stage of her pregnancy."

"Splendid! Keep up the good work. Call you tomorrow."

Bettie is such a blessing. Wes couldn't imagine the mountains of extra work he would have to do without his BD-3000 droid. No one on this dirtball can fathom the arduousness of having to make a check in call every. single. day. Truly Wes Telen is the hardest working Zeltron in all of Minda!

——

This Omake brought to you by asking myself kind of minor nobility and upper class Minda would attract and what unproductive nonsense they would get up to. If Dubrillion is a resort town and capital of the sector, Minda is that quaint little up and coming mountain town that suddenly attracted a bunch of rich people to build their mansions there.

Cross posted on SV and SB

 

[Yacov]

Omake: Scrapping the Barrel

POV: Vio, Andrennian petty crime lord,
above Zeek's Holochess Parlor, Edin, Edinspire
0ABY.

"Alright Mwork. Your earnings have been down from last month, what's going on?"

Vio did his best to glare at the Aqualish, but it had less of an impact after moving out of his old hideout. The Purge had hit all the gangs hard and Vio had to downsize his operations in response to the downturn.

"There just ain't any work for muscle anymore boss. Arms and Spice dealers are an endangered species these days, so that market has dried up. Those Vigos that are still around have their own sources. B&E is getting riskier with the holonet hotline the new governor has set up. There just ain't any other work besides being a flareboy or stalking alleys, which is above your risk profile."

Vio didn't even have it in him to fake being mad at Mwork. Times were hard all around. The governor's new infrastructure program and crackdown had made life difficult for a common thug like Mwork.

Taking in the Aqualish had been a bit of risk. His former gang had been one the first to get hit when the Purge started. However Mwork proved able to keep his head down and had a sense for trouble. Which is more than most thugs are capable of.

"What about on your end Little Nii? Find some chumps to nip?"

The adolescent Rodian was not the biggest earner in Vio's network. However she was a skilled enough finger-smith to keep a consistent flow of money by fencing her hauls.

"Still holding strong boss. There might be more police around than before, however the streets are as packed with marks as ever."

At least something is going Vio's way. Little Nii should be able to be a consistent earner for a few years yet. The new crop of Imps seem to go easier on kids than the last.

"Right! Now where's that slimeball Ovil? He was supposed to report in yesterday."

Little Nii shuffled her feet. A tell that she would have to break if she was going to survive this new environment. Maybe Vio should clean her out of her earnings in Sabacc a few times to teach her.

"Ovil ran afoul of a used 501-Z the precinct has patrolling the main streets. Their nonlethal protocols aren't so comforting when those 2 meter slabs of durasteel are jamming their stun sticks up your spine. Sounds like he isn't seeing the outside of a cell for a decade at minimum."

"What!? He was dealing in roasted Thyssel bark! That's barely above F tier! You could get a harder drug from a pharmacist after breaking a finger! How did that happen?"

"A new school was built nearby the route Ovil was using that he probably didn't know about. The Zed smelled the roasted Thyssel bark on him, and since the raw stuff is a much harder drug…"

"They assumed the slythmonger was using the roasted stuff as a gateway drug for harder substances. Being a slythmonger is one thing, but being a slythmonger who deals to kids gets stormtroopers kicking in your door."

One rule every criminal on Edin learned real quick when the new governor started cracking down: don't touch kids. Even trying doesn't just get the PSF on you, it brings in the military. The Mynock Maws were made a very graphic example of when crikking LECAs showed up to shut down their operation.

Who would even use Thyssel Bark as a sampler? As if some brats could afford something that high end. That stuff doesn't just grow on trees!

Acquiring the Thyssel bark from the Adriardo stash when they got busted was supposed to cover this quarter's expenses. The few high end clients that still talked to Vio were expecting him to make those deliveries.

Kriff! Vio couldn't afford to be losing employees like this. A black marketeer like him lived and died on his ability to move product. If he ghosted any more clients and suppliers, he'd lose what little street cred he had left.

Alright Vio, calm down and breathe. Steeple every one of your hands and think. Being able to plan, react, and adapt was how you got through the Purge so far, it is what will keep you alive now.

The Black Market was looking more barren by the day. The shortages were reaching levels that under normal circumstances was the prelude to a syndicate announcing they had a monopoly. Only difference was it was occurring across all levels.

X-rated goods were constantly out of supply even for those with the most desperate of appetites. Drugs were at an all time low. A hold full of Spice could sell enough to buy a small corvette if it was sold to the highest bidder, but even then no one was willing to take the chance.

Meanwhile the new stormtrooper armor was at a premium, but the garrison kept their supply close to their chest. Slaves were so star hot that most criminals would sooner shoot a slaver than risk Imps kicking in their door. Outlaw techs were taking advantage of the chaos to go straight, taking jobs in preparation of those shipyards coming in instead of installing smuggling compartments.

The R market wasn't doing much better. Flesh Camouflage kits were bought up as soon as they hit the market by every con artist and thief trying to fool Imperial scanners. Blasters past civilian grade were getting harder and harder to acquire, let alone explosives.

Guilders could acquire such things easily enough, but you would have to pry it out of their cold dead hands to get it from them. The heat and the automatic RIII contract from the Guild put out on their murderer was as good as a Death Mark on Edin.

Even the F market were taking a hit, which was about as criminal as lying about your taxes. It was getting to the point where people were willing to pay the subscription fees to corps rather than paying a visit to a friendly data-courier for a bootleg-holo.

"This used to be a nice planet. Where a crew of hard working criminals could earn a dishonest living. What happened?"

——

A look into the other side of Veers' war on crime. Keep in mind this is Edin, the Scarred Hands are heading to Minda. If Edin's underworld is a once lush forest of illegality that has been clear cut, I imagine Minda's is a desolate wasteland where even the most resilient lichen struggles to grow for long.

Crossposted on SV and SB.

 

[Yacov]

Omake: Bloaties on Deck

POV: Corporal Jed Bredge, Smuggler's End FarStar CR90f Mess Hall, Minda System, 0ABY.

"So I look at the smuggler lying on the ground and ask: "how's your ventilation system doing?""

Jed always liked being able to hang around with other Bloaties. The rest of the ATR—6 boarding crew were nice, but his profession always felt like it created a fence between them. Maybe it was the smell. They wouldn't last a day shoveling Shaak manure.

"Course he couldn't respond due to coughing on the gas and blinking tears. So I said: "apparently it could use some work. Better get that checked next time." Then I jammed my stun baton into him."

It was obvious the others felt the same way. So whenever a larger ship gathered the smaller patrol vessels for a supply distribution, all of us would get together in the mess hall and swap stories. Jed liked all the whistle work songs everyone came up with.

"Alright, who scared the most crew members on the way to the mess hall by whistling?"

Still, Jed wouldn't trade this job for 200 acres. He had been nervous when he made the decision to go to the recruiter and defend his home. However Brother Dak was the one who was going to inherit the family farm, so Jed had to find his own way.

"Hey get off! That's my dessert cube! Want me to stick a nozzle down your throat?"

Jed still recalls his surprise when they put him on the "experimental soldier track". He didn't even that PDFs had experimental soldiers. Pretty soon they were shooting him into space and putting him through his paces.

"What? I am a big eater. We all got to kept our strength up lugging our sprayers around."

The trainers gave him this fancy and shiny backpack fogger sprayer. It was little less heavy than that time Violet was with child and Jed had to carry her to the Shaak doctor several miles into town. Then they gave him a suit of power and carrying it around got even easier.

"Please. We all know it is the power armor doing most of the heavy lifting for you."

The sprayer worked like the old 3WF-3 Field Queen back at the farm. Then they told Jed it was a Field Queen underneath the shiny metal. They just added a more powerful motor and put a bigger tank with a new liquid. Made learning to do the fixings on it and mixing the chems a breeze. Apparently the gas spray was meant to for herding sentients and making them "com-pliant".

"My favorite part is watching them running around in a panic once they see the gas. It's not fire, but it works."

At least Jed wasn't part of the group that tried to use agricultural flamers. Those guys never even got deployed due to a lack of nonlethal options from sucking out all the air. Plus the fuel tanks would explode when hit with blaster fire. He'll stick to his non-exploding herding spray thank you every much.

"So who won the Smallest Ship You Had to Cram Into Award this month? Mine was a Rigger."

Jed's job these days was to help clear out bad ships after the bigger ships in the fleet make them stop moving. Most of the ships his team boarded were smaller than the family barn. He tended to not even use half his tank before the crew either gave up or he filled the whole ship.

"That's nothing. Who won in the Ship You Thought Was Going to Explode on You category? I swear that Stock Freighter I breached worked more as a museum piece than a smuggling ship with the amount of rust it had."

It was rare for someone to shoot at Jed, given he could just stay behind cover while doing his job. There were times when he didn't even have to set foot on the disabled ship. He could sit back at the insertion point and pump gas. Most of the life support in small ships around these parts were either too weak or too poorly maintained to filter it out once it started spreading.

"Shame we don't actually get to swing with those suits of ours, but I guess that's what the rest of the breach time is for."

Course there were times where Jed had to go aboard. Like when the "non-com-pliants" seal themselves off in a compartment and they brought Jed to fill it up. He always made sure to take out the fancy cattle prod they gave him, not that he had to use it in anger yet.

"Our herd does sacred horticultural work. Choking out the weeds and vermin that would despoil the Mother Minda's lush fields."

Heck, plenty of folk just drop their weapons when they see Jed round the corner whistling and prepping to spray. Guess they were really scared of coughing and crying. Still wasn't as good at that stuff as Traal. Maybe the Ithorian was just better with words than Jed.

"Hey Jed, you haven't spoken up. Got any stories to share with us?"

Still, Jed was happy with how things were going. He got fed big meals three times a day. The pay was enough for his whittling hobby and extra to send back to the farm. There was even a cute girl at the station cantina that Jed had his eye on impressing.

"Yeah big guy. We all want to hear what you got up to since we all last got together."

Let the big ships and elite forces handle the bigger stuff. Jed will be here, keeping the little Shaak Rustlers and Trandoshan Oil Salespeople of the galaxy out of Minda's fields of black.

——

So the prompt for this one was wondering how Mindan fleet deals with all those small vessels filled with hostile smugglers, pirates, and noncompliant civilians once the system patrol ships disable them. The result was the least favorite Imperial troop among the Myto Sector Spacer Community: the MSDF Gas Marine. Turns out Palpatine lifted a lot of weapons restrictions when turning the Imperial Military into an army of terror.

Crossposted on SB and SV

 

[Yacov]

Omake: Winner Winner Mynock Dinner

POV: Garik Malo
RIII: Guardian
Certifications: Tracker II
Lepassooit, Myto Sector

Pew Pew! Bzzzt!

"Remind me again why we are on this junk heap of a world?"

The question echoed in the recently silenced perforated structure.

"We're here because if we are ever going to do more than guard Shaak caravans and catch petty criminals, we need jobs all around the sector in our portfolio. Lepassooit was the closest world with a job recommended for our rank."

Garik wandered over to the spoils their prey were guarding. Tearing open the crate with ease thanks to his smasher armor.

"So that's why we are chasing down poorly armed scavengers over a crate full of… let's see here… Winner Winner Mynock Dinners? Are these things still edible?"

"If they were brought in shortly before the Sieges, probably. Those ration pails have a shelf life of decades.

Oooh! That's the Pirate Occupation flavor! Those come with a good spice blend. Grab a couple. It will make a great meal if the food convoy for the planet gets hit again."

Garik playfully ignited his shockmitts.

"Careful Tak. You need one of the Governor Moneld's fancy new permits to take that salvage. I have been hired to bring scum like you as an unlicensed salvager."

Tak returned the grin before dramatically swooning.

"Oh what will I do? My credits are too low. I can't afford to go to one of Governor Moneld's prison workshops sorting salvage indoors instead of outdoors."

Sadly the teasing did not have the intended effect on Garik.

"And all that money lining the Governor's pockets. Feels like we're the bad guys here."

The comment shattered the good mood like a bombing run. Tak's grin curdled into a frown as she gazed out at the bombardment crater. The yawning chasm having grown to swallow the city in the years since. Leaving only suburban areas on the edge like this one were relatively intact.

"You don't get it Garik. Things aren't nice outside of where you grew up. That's how things work normally out here in the Rim. The rulers line their pockets and the rest of us struggle to make ends meet."

A haunting gust of dusty wind passed between them. The holes in what was once a home playing an almost musical tune.

"But won't the people rise up and try to replace the Governor if things get bad enough, or at least try to improve things on their planet?"

Tak began taking a deep breath, and Garik knew what that meant. He'd seen it a couple on the crowded passenger ship they took to this desolate planet. The reason why they probably wouldn't book that ship on the way back. A rant was coming.

"They already tried that with the CIS. Now? With what money? With what infrastructure? With what cities?

Garik, the Sieges destroyed anything worth having here with artillery barrages and orbital bombardments. What little the people can eke out goes to either the smugglers or the Empire, both of whom only pay bottom credit.

Any chance of this world recovering went out the window when the Republic won the war. A new world like Minda might be able to get help starting out, a cesspool like Edin might to attract sleazy investors, but a hardline Separatist World like Lepassooit? These people would have better luck jumping into a Sarlacc Pit for looking for aid.

This permit program might be paying for that slimeball Moneld's new palace. However, that is still money going to workers and the suppliers. The official processing stations may pay poodoo for salvage, but Moneld's connections still keep the trading ships coming back on a regular schedule.

The planet sucks, but it would suck even harder without what little the Empire gives it. At least they're reliable with what they do. Them leaving would only be a dinner bell for further scavengers to descend and tear into this corpse of a world."

Garik's hands were up halfway through. What he was going to say formed a quarter of the way.

"Look I think this place is getting to you, and having to listen to that slimeball of a Governor's speeches clearly isn't helping. Our contract on this world is almost over. Let's refuse to renew and get back to Minda for some R&R."

The embers of a smile began, but were extinguished too quickly.

"And if the Governor doesn't take no for an answer? If he decides merc services are too valuable to let go and puts the restraining bolts on us all?"

Garik already had a counter argument at the ready.

"Then the Guild's legal department gets involved. They might not be able to tell an Imperial governor what they can and can't do, but they still have lots of soft power with their ratings and recommendations.

Moneld wouldn't risk access to such an easy pool of muscle from a bad rating over a couple of mercs. What stops the Empire from sending aid to this world also stops it from sending more troops to garrison it. Which you would know if you weren't so steaming right now."

After a long pause the teasing tone seemed to finally kindle a small smile back to Tak's face.

*Sigh* "You're right big guy. When did you get so smart?"

Garik knocked his mitts on his customized helmet around his horn.

"All those lectures and explanations you gave had to make something get through my thick skull. It has to if we are going to climb up the Guild rankings, right?"

A much welcomed chuckle was dragged out of Tak, signaling Garik had succeeded in his mission.

"Come on, let's go load up the speeder and dump these perps off at the processing center. Oh, and grab some of those ration pails. We'll be the king and queen of the passenger compartment when we break these out on the way back!"

——

This Omake is meant to showcase how the Guild is expanding operations out of Las' domain and into nearby systems. This was originally intended to be lighthearted and comedic dig at battle royales and extraction shooters. Then Tak had to be all outgoing and empathetic, and the tone went downhill from there.

Crossposted and SV and SB

 

[Yacov]

Omake: Visions of the Saint

POV: High Hermit Degent Chynn of the Ancient Order of Pessimists
Prakith, Deep Core

*Klong! Klong! Klong!*

At the sounding of a dull bell the robed figures gathering. This was most inauspicious as it was already past the time for the morning portents.

"Hear me Brothers! Woe be unto us!"

"Woe, woe, and seven times woe!"

"In a fit of unfortunate pique I have cast the ritual bones a second time in one day. An ill omen to be sure!"

This came as no surprise to other brothers. The omens were always ill for a follower of the Ancient Order of Pessimists.

"Yet what I beheld was dire indeed. A result of such dire predictions that has not been seen since the Bounty Hunter Boba Fett and Lord Vader destroyed our brothers and their monastery in their duel on Maryx Minor!"

The mention of the deaths of their deceased predecessors always brought the anticipation of tragedies to the Hermits. Truly any form of optimism in the Order was thoroughly squashed after learning of such a misfortunate occurrence.

"What visions of doom have you witnessed, High Hermit?"

"The bones foretell a convergence of pessimism in the Northern Outer Rim. A saint who despite not knowing our faith adheres to our tenants most faithfully. No matter what illusions of fleeting good fortune the galaxy may tempt the saint with, they will maintain the conviction that things will inevitably go horribly wrong."

The Head Hermit's words brought murmuring among the Order. Many were thinking of what great lessons in calibrating their expectations by learning from such a wise sentient.

"I have decided that a number of our Order will partake in a most likely doomed pilgrimage to the saint. Once we reach the world where they reside, we shall found a chapter and build a hermitage so others may learn through our example that we live amidst the worst possible outcome. Thus robbing others of their comforting ignorance.

Perhaps we shall build it near a volcano. That way when the worst fears of our brothers come to past, we may consign their bodies to a fiery pit as is our Order's tradition."

It was at this point the Order's weekly appointed Party Pooper undertook their holy duty to point out flaws in everyone's plans. Such was his burden to bear.

"But Head Hermit. How will these pilgrims get past the Deep Cores's Hyperspace Security Net? Those Gravity Mines and Jammers will make this a futile effort."

The Hermits nodded along at the Party Pooper's wisdom. The assurance the various ways the galaxy could ruin their days.

"Worry slightly less my brothers. The journey will not be as arduous as it first appears."

This statement brought a scandalized gasp amongst the Order's numbers. Was the High Hermit indulging in the heretical practice of optimism? Such a thing was anathema to those following the teachings of the Order. Especially after participating in such a sin brought doom upon their predecessors via orbital bombardment as revealed by the ritual bones.

"Our brother in faith and patron, Moff Foga Brill has seen what pitiful worth there is in our mission. He has offered to guide us past the Hyperspace Security Net even if he cannot partake in the pilgrimage. However take heed, for these seemingly concrete plans are but dust in the wind compared to the galaxy's will."

The brothers took heart in the Head Hermit's words. Knowing full well that any expected outcomes are only there so that the galaxy can laugh when it disappoints us.

"We shall begin selecting volunteering by the end of the week. Those who think they have least chance of success will be chosen. For they best understand the ways of the galaxy. Then we journey, to the Minda system!"

——

I wasn't intending to post a second Omake today. However I looked into religions in Star Wars, found these loonies, and it just fit too perfectly.

I don't know what I find funnier: the fact that both this Order both exists and managed to posthumously convert a Moff of all people for a time in canon, or that I can see the Force 100% sending a genuine prophetic message to these guys to further screw with Las.

Crossposted to SV and SB