Price: Death of a Hero

[Snake/Eater]

Not even close.

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He seems to fit the role of Pierrot, The classic archetype of the sad clown.

• Loyal
• dependable Friend/servant
• The story's Chew Toy.
• In love with someone, usually Colombina, who doesn't love him back.
• His first unrequited love dies.
• Usually dressed almost entirely in white.
• plays pranks and insult other characters for humor, but when alone he sinks into his depression.

 

[TanaNari]

... Okay. Maybe that does work. At least a little.

Dunno if he's the story's chewtoy. But he's certainly Kitten's.

 

[Ack]

... Okay. Maybe that does work. At least a little.

Dunno if he's the story's chewtoy. But he's certainly Kitten's.

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Should have called her Puppy. then the concept of her having a chew toy would really fit

 

[TanaNari]

I've seen what dogs do when they catch live prey.

I've seen what cats do.

Kitten is far, far more appropriate.

 

[Ack]

I've seen what dogs do when they catch live prey.

I've seen what cats do.

Kitten is far, far more appropriate.

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Very good point.

 

[TanaNari]

Chapter 3


Kitten pushed the blade a little deeper into the ground, and I struggled for screams that my body couldn't give. The humiliation and frustration were worse than the physical pain. I wasn't strong enough to avenge Erica, and I wasn't brave enough to do what I needed to become strong enough. I stopped my struggling attempts to push her off of me and pull myself off of the ground. There wasn't any point. Instead, I struggled to speak. Without lungs, that was impossible, but maybe Kitten knew how to read lips?


Kitten relaxed, leaning in close. "Trying to say something?"


I nodded, and this time when I screamed, I made noise. Kitten had shoved the blade sideways, clearing the path of one of my lungs to regenerate back to my mouth. I gasped for the air my body didn't know I didn't need. The bitter dust we'd kicked out of the gravel was the sweetest smell I'd ever known. I felt her tapping on the handle of the sword, I wouldn't have long before she got impatient. I struggled to get the words out while using only one lung. "H-how. How can you help him? Don't you know what he's done to all those girls?"


She laughed, a short and cheerful sound. "Flux? He doesn't do anything to girls."


What? Rex swore up and down to Laura that he was certain. And as desperately as that asshole wanted in my sister's pants, I trusted him on this. If he fucked up... damn it, now what am I supposed to do? Should I apologize to the supervillains for breaking into their home on misinformation?


She wriggled her hips back and forth on my back, for all the world a child cheerfully showing off that she knows more than an adult. "He's gayer than Hawaiian night at Bruno's. No girls allowed, except for me. I'm the special exception."


The fuck? Kitten was, like, thirteen or fourteen at the most. I looked straight toward Flux. He was suddenly quite interested in studying his feet, managing to look uncomfortable despite the black and yellow body armor hiding all of his features. At least now I didn't feel like I owed him an apology.


She leaned down against me, the full length of her slender torso resting on my back. She whispered softly in my ear. "Besides, there's no way he could have done any of that stuff." Her young voice had no business being that soft and sultry. "Because I did."


Time slowed for me as I reached for that power again, knowing full well I would accept any and all consequences. I needed a way to break free from the sword pinning me to the ground, I needed a way to catch a monster that was faster than human, and I needed a way to hurt her, to kill her. This time, when I changed, there was no surprise. I knew what was coming and was prepared for it to suck. If it turned me into a freak of nature, I could live with that. Not like my time in front of the mirror was spent in rapturous joy to begin with. There was nothing I could lose that meant more to me than killing this monster in a little girl's body.


An eyeblink was all it took, and for a moment I was beside myself quite literally. I struck backward with my elbow, catching Kitten hard in the face. I felt her teeth meet my bone, and my arm went numb. Now I was up on my feet next to her and my two copies. I kicked her square in the rib and was treated to the beautiful sound of her bones cracking from my steel toed boots.


She rolled away as my copy-bodies quickly disintegrated into particles of yellow, blue and green. Rushing to envelop and be absorbed by my body a lot like my old power worked. I, meanwhile, fell upon her with the full weight of my body. One knee hard into her stomach, and the other pinning one of her arms.


I wrapped my hands around her neck, digging my fingers into her throat. Some strange new sense came alive, telling me information about her. It wasn't exact, but it was there. I had a sense of her weight, as if I was carrying her. I had a sense of her physical health, kinda. I knew I knocked out her top front tooth and broke her nose, and I could tell one of her lower ribs was bent inward.


Her heart was beating wildly as she struggled for breath. I felt her leg move almost like it was my own, and brought mine up to block it, locking her back down on the ground. Her deep blue eyes gazed up at me, and she looked so happy. I was choking the life out of her, and she seemed to be enjoying it. Then the smile turned to anger and a deep jungle green light flushed out of her eyes, across both our bodies. My arms went numb almost immediately, and I found myself next to my half-frozen copy. My own power light blended with Kitten's, reflected off the thick layers of ice that her power created.


I looked back at my saber, and somehow I remembered it, how I'd sensed it the way I had sensed Kitten when strangling her. The streamline, uniform material confirmed its status as coming from a cast mold. It appeared in my hands, and the original copy was already dissolving into light and chasing toward the version in my hand. I didn't bother to look, turning back on the monster that took Erica from me. Had taken so many other women from their families and loved ones. I didn't care if she was just a little girl, she didn't get to live after all the horrible things she'd done. I brought the sword, still covered in the colored fog of my power, down on where she was trapped in her own frozen cage.


Blue and red sprayed from where my sword struck, and Kitten rolled away and was up on her feet, blood squirting from her arm. I wasn't fast enough to kill her, but her hand remained on the ground next to my blade. I rose to my feet as she backed off.


"You surged!" She sounded so very, annoyingly happy about that. "I made you surge! You should be just perfect for countering my powers. This will be so much fun."


As much as she was pretending to be happy and confident, I was more pleased to notice that she was backing away from me. For that matter, Flux had taken a few steps back. Even if Rex's intel was slightly off, I was still holding my own against two supervillains dangerous enough that the fuckall useless police were afraid to go after them. Maybe Flux wasn't a rapist and serial killer, but he was still a bastard and I was still going to make him pay. After dealing with Kitten.


"You seem awful cheerful about this." I walked forward casually, happy enough to draw this out a bit longer. After all, I wasn't the one bleeding out right now. Every time her heart beat, it spilled a little bit more of her strength on the ground. I could afford to save my trump card for a little while longer.


"Of course!" Her smile was so goddamn happy, even covered in dirt and blood. "I gave you your powers, right? You got them to kill me, even if you didn't know it was me. And now you got more just to fight me! That means it's your destiny to be the one who finally takes me down! Isn't it just the most romantic thing?" At the last part, she held her hands- well, hand and stub- up to her chest, coating her front with blood.


I wondered just how long was it going to take her to run out of the stuff. To say nothing about everything else that was horribly wrong about what she just said. "Are you insane?" No, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with her?


She simply shrugged. "Probably."


Flux cleared his throat, theatrically. "Kitten, I think it's been made clear that you can't actually beat him. As fun as watching you kids play has been, we really have to get going before the authorities show up."


I gripped my sword as she turned toward him. "Flux! I'm having fun!"


Now! I reached out to her, the same way that I reached out to my sword before. She must have sensed what I was about to do, because her head started turning toward me, and then she was in front of me, right on the perfect path for my swing. She leapt backward, and I felt the tug as the edge of the sword sliced across her stomach. The shimmer of light followed, as her copy dissolved and returned to her body. Much to my surprise, her dismembered arm and a lot of lost blood started returning to her as well, but the bruising on her face remained.


I then realized she was nude as she stood there, clutching her stomach and locking her eyes on mine. Blood dripped down her stomach and coated her from the waist down. "Well, if that's what you wanted, you could have just asked."


I rushed at her. So what if my power somehow didn't extend to other peoples' clothing? That just made fighting them easier to disarm. So what if I accidentally restored her arm when I teleported her? That slice across her stomach was deep enough to slow her down. All I cared about was how I couldn't afford to let her get the upper hand again. I wouldn't allow her to escape. Her body glowed red as she moved, evading my next attack. Either she was slower or I was faster, or some combination of both, because I caught her shoulder.


The blood spray caught my face, and I found myself once again standing to a quickly dissolving copy of myself. Wait, her blood's dangerous, too? Kitten's foot planted itself hard against my knee, and a another copy of me started breaking down. I appeared with it between us, and she grinned through the shimmer of the 'other me' dissolving into light. "You're still not strong enough."


"I'm not the one holding my stomach to keep from bleeding to death." I reached out with my power, summoning her to me again, and she manifested with the sword inches from going through her chest. She was far more ready this time than last, and caught my sword with her bare hands. Before I knew what was happening, I was standing beside a copy of myself with my sword sticking out of his head. The sword fell a heartbeat later as the body disintegrated.


She wiped her hand over the wound I'd made, and there was nothing more than a jagged pink line. "I'm fine. My regeneration may not be as good as yours, but I can heal anything short of death in a few minutes."


I thought I was supposed to have the power to kill her! I shouted internally at whatever force gave me my powers. There was no response, no offer of another power I could still call to win this battle. Apparently, I used up whatever credit I had already. Meanwhile, Kitten just stood there observing me.
I smirked a little. "Well, just means I'll have to try harder next time." My saber manifested itself, and I rushed forward. Trying to figure out a way around her damn superhuman agility and those combat instincts. Wait, the last time I surprised her it was when I just died. That's the ticket.


She sidestepped casually, and I brought the sword low, deliberately stabbing myself in the shin. And then, without giving myself time to think I sliced upward from my new position. A long, sweeping arc. The blade collided with something hard, and she rolled back across the ground with blood spraying everywhere. I moved to press the advantage while I had it. So far, the same trick never worked on her twice.


Then I was moving sideways. I wasn't hit, my body simply decided that it should be traveling sideways without warning or reason. I found myself standing next to the not exactly abandoned car shop, my telltale lights extracting themselves from the me shaped dent in the wall. A yellow and light orange glow came from where Flux was standing. Oh, right, there are two of them and I have no damn clue what the other's power is. Turning me into a human projectile was at least part of it.


"Flux! This is my fight!" Kitten's screeching reminded me of nothing more than a five year old in the Walmart whose mother wouldn't let her have a toy. "I'm the one who gets to beat him!"


"I said we don't have time!" And now Flux was acting like an angry father. As if this whole situation wasn't fucked up enough already. "If you're not done in five minutes, we're leaving you behind. Now stop goofing around!"


She looked at me, and I swear her smile was apologetic. "Promise me you'll find me to play again?"


I gripped the my sword. I still had a shot at this, even with the two of them. All I needed was one lucky shot, and my power guaranteed I'd get my chance eventually. I just had to stay alert and ready.


Kitten charged me, swirls of indigo and occasional dark greens partially concealing her from view. I readied myself, the plan was to take the hit and then retaliate after I reformed. She didn't seem to be able to anticipate it when I did that.


She halted, and the storm of light kept going forward. I froze, and reformed, and froze again. Eventually the lights dimmed, and I was left standing in a frozen, jagged ice bowl. Kitten waved daintily, from the edge of the arena she created for us, then jumped inside. I slipped and fell on my ass, reforming still on my ass. A dagger of ice struck me in the chest, and I reappeared for the dozenth or so time this fight. I shoved the sword into the ground and started using it to climb to my feet, when she kicked the blade, dislodging it and sending me back to the ground. Another dagger, and another.


My eyes blurred a little. No, that was fog as this place slowly warmed up, mixed with the constant glow of both our powers. I mentally called for my sword, and was surprised when it didn't respond. I couldn't find my memory of it with my power. I edged closer to where the sword was laying. And then found myself slightly to the left. Several slivers of ice stuck out of the other copy.


"Wow, it doesn't take a lot to set you off, does it?" Kitten was all smiles again, and I managed a lucky dodge of another dagger of ice. "None of those penetrated deep enough to send you to the hospital. Your power is really, really afraid of letting you get hurt. You must have been a real coward to get a power like that."


Fuck it. I charged forward, and she rolled, grabbing the handle of my sword before coming back up. She hopped back as I slipped and fell on the slick frozen ground. "Nope, you've lost pointy stick privileges. Tell you what, I'll keep it around until the next time we fight. We don't have much time before someone jumps in and ruins all the fun."


The ice bowl around us shattered magnificently into every color of the rainbow, like watching a firecracker going off from the inside. Several spears of white light had pierced through, and a voice carried across the cacophony of crunching ice. "Do you have any fucking clue what time I have to wake up in the morning?"


======================


A/N- To be fair to Rex, not a lot of people associate "serial killer" and "little girl" together. I think he deserves to be cut a break.

A new challenger enters the arena!

And, this may be a spoiler, but Kitten is really fucked up in the head.


... So, how long do I have to wait before my story gets a Wiki this time? Because if it takes nine months like it did last time, I'm gonna be disappointed.

 

[dasstan]

I wonder what that powerup cost him?

 

[Ack]

You know something?

I wouldn't feel cheated if he killed Kitten right then. Or even made her so upset that she had to leave. But gloating like that ... really grinds my gears.

 

[Snake/Eater]

I wonder what that powerup cost him?

Click to shrink...

His soul?

 

[dasstan]

You know something?

I wouldn't feel cheated if he killed Kitten right then. Or even made her so upset that she had to leave. But gloating like that ... really grinds my gears.

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Honestly, a small win now would do more to help me connect to the character than adding more loss.

I'm probably judging too early, but this fic seems awfully depressing.

 

[TanaNari]

I wonder what that powerup cost him?

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Find out NEXT TIME!

No... not next time, next time is meeting some new characters...

The time after that! Hmm, actually, depends on how long that other chapter takes. It might end up being two.

Soon! Wait, I'm doing three chapters a week for this.

Next week! Find out next week!

I wouldn't feel cheated if he killed Kitten right then.

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He had a chance, right as his new powers manifested... but dropped the ball. Kitten's combination of powers (and insanity) makes her one of the more dangerous Imbued on the continent. Zach's already stronger than the vast majority, but he bit off more than he could chew with her.

Which says something about the power level of this setting, because she'd lose to some of Spider Man's B-list enemies.

I'm probably judging too early, but this fic seems awfully depressing.

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Well, I am a fan of the classics. And the classics are generally tragedies. Probably won't be any more depressing than, say, the Illiad or Odyssey. Or Tristram and Isolde. Or the early King Arthur legends.

Remember- in THIS universe, these stories are based upon real experiences by real people.

 

[dasstan]

Well, I am a fan of the classics. And the classics are generally tragedies. Probably won't be any more depressing than, say, the Illiad or Odyssey. Or Tristram and Isolde. Or the early King Arthur legends.

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I don't mind depressing. I usually like depressing. I just require something good to hook me in before it crushes me, otherwise I have no emotional investment. With Amelia, I admittedly started reading when there were more than a couple chapters, so I was able to go from "getting pwned by Siberian" to "And then Jack's dead" in a single sitting.

With what we have of Price so far... It basically boils down to "Bad things happen to sad teen. More bad things happen to sadder teen." I'm going to keep reading, because I fully expect there to be some positive thing that happens in the next dozen chapters that gets me invested.

Remember- in THIS universe, these stories are based upon real experiences by real people.

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Reality sucks.

edit: Oh hey! I just noticed that I got a shout out in one of the info posts. Awesome.

 

[TanaNari]

I just require something good to hook me in before it crushes me, otherwise I have no emotional investment.

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I usually prefer the opposite. Where you start with depressing and the story slowly works its way toward happy as the characters grow and develop into stronger and better people.

Then BOOM! Sudden crushing misery at the very end!

... Just kidding about that last part.

Probably.


Also- you don't like Zach's spunky can-do attitude and refusal to let the unfortunate hand he was dealt in life keep him down?

 

[dasstan]

I usually prefer the opposite. Where you start with depressing and the story slowly works its way toward happy as the characters grow and develop into stronger and better people.

Then BOOM! Sudden crushing misery at the very end!

... Just kidding about that last part.

Probably.

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Pfft.

I think that's the reason why I usually wait to read a fic that already has a handful of chapters posted. Getting in on the ground floor of a fic means I have to wait for updates, which means that I can't indulge my binging tendencies, which means I can't get quickly invested.

I am curious as to how you're going to get to crushing misery in this fic, though... Maybe Zach no longer ages? The corrective healing aspect of his powers makes him immortal, and everyone he knows and loves is going to be lost to the ravages of time? I know it can't get as bad as Amelia got, because you've told us that this story isn't going to be dealing with that level of conflict, so...

Also, since he surged, presumably the effect of his powers is more noticeable? Or is it still mostly the same because his powers are still mostly the same?

 

[Ack]

Also, how the hell did she steal the sabre?

 

[TanaNari]

Maybe Zach no longer ages?

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Actually, there's an app for that. At least one Artifact exists that nullifies regeneration. Kept under lock and key as one of France's national treasures (except for a brief period where it was smuggled to America to keep it out of Nazi hands), where it's occasionally removed (after a petition process) in order to allow one of the various Imbued with longevity to take their own lives.

It's pretty rare. But it's been part of France's legal tradition since before Napoleon... and isn't going anywhere until they change their Constitution. Seeing as their options are either "let the immortal have access to the one weapon he can use to kill himself" or "fight an irate superbeing who can't die to stop him from killing himself."

I am curious as to how you're going to get to crushing misery in this fic, though

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The usual ways. Murder loved ones. Crush hopes and dreams. Give him everything he hopes for and then take it away moments later. Give him everything he thinks he wants only for him to realize he never wanted it at all.

Seriously, the first major supervillain introduced in the story is a fourteen year old serial killer who raped the girl he loved was kind of a stalker for. I think I can supply all crushing and misery the story needs. The hard part will be avoiding too much.

I know it can't get as bad as Amelia got, because you've told us that this story isn't going to be dealing with that level of conflict

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Wait. That's your only measure for crushing misery? Well, then, by that standard... no, it'll never get as bad as Amelia...

Also, how the hell did she steal the sabre?

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It's not like it was surgically attached to him. Except for those periods of time when it was.

 

[dasstan]

Wait. That's your only measure for crushing misery? Well, then, by that standard... no, it'll never get as bad as Amelia...

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Existentialist misery/horror is pretty much the bar, yeah.

All the people you know and love living forever. Yay! At the low, low cost of everything that makes them human. Boo!

Interesting bit of world building with the French. It wouldn't happen to be a guillotine, would it?

 

[Snake/Eater]

I have put a lot of thought in this since I made the connection to comparing Zach to Commedia dell'arte's well known classic character Pierrot the sad clown. if you think about it, a world with superheros is a rebirth of the renaissance's masque as a consequence of protecting their identities.

I guess Price is at it's heart a unintentional retelling of classic masked theatre, because the character's match the classic stock character while giving them actual life to breath.

If Zach is Pierrot, then Kitten is a darker female version of the Harlequin. a role known for being virile, with great physical agility and intelligence, often acting to thwart the plans of his master and pursuing his own love interest, Colombina, with wit and resourcefulness, often competing with the sterner and melancholic Pierrot thought trickery and feats of strength. but the difference is that she is a bit nuts and also murdered Zach's Colombina... Erica.

 

[Ack]

It's not like it was surgically attached to him. Except for those periods of time when it was.

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... couldn't he teleport it back to him?

 

[TanaNari]

couldn't he teleport it back to him?

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I mentally called for my sword, and was surprised when it didn't respond.

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Evidently not.

Existentialist misery/horror is pretty much the bar, yeah.

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Fair enough. I'll have a taste or two of that, but for the most part there won't be much transhumanism going on in Price. Too street level for that shit.

be a guillotine, would it?

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Nope. Spear. It's a bit older than the guillotine.

 

[VaporDeagle]

I would say the pacing is good now.

Have to have a villain for Zack to come back and beat after all.

Though since you mentions the story will get darker, I will just sit here until it reach my breaking point.

At least you actually say it rather than make it HODORRRR GRIMDERPP out of nowhere like a couple asshole writers I know of.

 

[Ack]

Evidently not.

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.. okay. Sorry. Need to rephrase. Earlier he was teleporting it back to him. And then he couldn't, and she had stolen it.

How the heck?

 

[dasstan]

.. okay. Sorry. Need to rephrase. Earlier he was teleporting it back to him. And then he couldn't, and she had stolen it.

How the heck?

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Find out next time! Same duck time, same duck channel.

 

[Ack]

Find out next time! Same dick time, same dick channel.

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FTFY.

 

[TanaNari]

How the heck?

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Zach doesn't know, either.

 

[Ack]

Zach doesn't know, either.

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Ah. Villain fucking shenanigans.

Well, I'll be reading. But not so sure that I'll be enjoying it as much as I thought I would be.

 

[TanaNari]

Ah. Villain fucking shenanigans.

Click to shrink...

Nope. Not at all. This is on his side of things. Although Kitten's ability to identify and exploit weaknesses did let her know to take advantage when it happened.

Spoiler: If you really must know

Remember in Amelia how in order to teleport something, he has to touch it? And then touch it again to teleport it again? That weakness still applies, and guess who was getting his ass handed to him so thoroughly that he summoned the sword and then was destroyed repeatedly before he could touch it again?

No shenanigans beyond that of a truly thorough ass kicking. And Zach having these new abilities for less than ten minutes.

 

[Ack]

Nope. Not at all. This is on his side of things. Although Kitten's ability to identify and exploit weaknesses did let her know to take advantage when it happened.

Spoiler: If you really must know

Remember in Amelia how in order to teleport something, he has to touch it? And then touch it again to teleport it again? That weakness still applies, and guess who was getting his ass handed to him so thoroughly that he summoned the sword and then was destroyed repeatedly before he could touch it again?

No shenanigans beyond that of a truly thorough ass kicking. And Zach having these new abilities for less than ten minutes.

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Huh.

I'm impressed that she figured that out.

 

[TanaNari]

I'm impressed that she figured that out.

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She didn't, she was just killing him rapidly in quick succession. She realized he lost his power over the sword at the same moment he did.

 

[Ack]

She didn't, she was just killing him rapidly in quick succession. She realized he lost his power over the sword at the same moment he did.

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Ah.