Teacher Nightmare [Naruto]

[GoC]

FurikoMaru: This idea has been bouncing around in my head for over a year now... )

- - [X] With usage of Kage Bunshin haxx... YOU did after all READ the report on HOW Naruto had taken out Mizuki.

Click to shrink...

Just an fyi: In this AU kage bunshin only send back the equivalent of a few images or a few sentences worth of information (kage bunshin training was totally broken in canon).
And Naruto does not have your high level kage bunshin communication jutsu.

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

[X] Get Naruto BASIC training... proper basic training...
- - [X] With usage of Kage Bunshin haxx... YOU did after all READ the report on HOW Naruto had taken out Mizuki.
- - - - [X] The boy is going to be worn out to the bone with his clones doing the basic work/studies...
[X] While the clones help Naruto learn, you're going to get the boys to do Tree Walking exercise to build up control and stamina.

[X] Once every seven days, the boys and you do D-rank missions designed to foster teamwork and teach basic skill sets.

[X] A temporary TEAM-MATE?
- - [X] Kurenai is gone isn't she? Lets steal one of her genin for a while.
- - - - [X] That Hyuuga girl is so kawaii and shy. It'd be fun and hilarious to force her out of her shell.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Not you, Biigoh!

 

[R.A.G.]

FurikoMaru: This idea has been bouncing around in my head for over a year now... )
Just an fyi: In this AU kage bunshin only send back the equivalent of a few images or a few sentences worth of information (kage bunshin training was totally broken in canon).
And Naruto does not have your high level kage bunshin communication jutsu.

Click to shrink...

Could we teach him said jutsu? Because otherwise the holes in his education will keep biting us in the ass.

if not:

[X] Operation ground and pound. You will grind your cute little genin into the dirt with physical conditioning, pound teamwork into their heads with a rusty hammer, and force them to improve.
-->[X] Or in other words, ANBU basic training, but for three times as long and without the option of dropping out.


[X] Once every seven days, the boys and you do D-rank missions designed to foster teamwork and teach basic skill sets.

[X] A temporary TEAM-MATE? A genin who didn't quite make the cut for elite team training is assigned...
- - [X] Looks like Ami has grown up?

 

[GoC]

Could we teach him said jutsu? Because otherwise the holes in his education will keep biting us in the ass.

Click to shrink...

Not with his current chakkra control.

EDIT: Plus it's just a way of getting full reports from your clones. Transmits more information and you don't have to dispel your clones.

 

[Malcolmo]

[X] Operation ground and pound. You will grind your cute little genin into the dirt with physical conditioning, pound teamwork into their heads with a rusty hammer, and force them to improve.
-->[X] Or in other words, ANBU basic training, but for three times as long and without the option of dropping out.


[X] Once every seven days, the boys and you do D-rank missions designed to foster teamwork and teach basic skill sets.

 

[GoC]

Note: Without termination conditions (where you switch to something else) on that training plan I'll have Kakashi decide to swap to something else at narrative convenience.

 

[Vindictus]

Three times as long as Anbu boot camp. I'm assuming that An-boot camp is at least as long as RL military boot camp, so... 6 months.

 

[GoC]

Three times as long as Anbu boot camp. I'm assuming that An-boot camp is at least as long as RL military boot camp, so... 6 months.

Click to shrink...

Chunnin Exams in four. I'm guessing you're for not entering them?

 

[Malcolmo]

Chunnin Exams in four. I'm guessing you're for not entering them?

Click to shrink...

We're one person down a whole team and the members we do have are in no way ready to take the exams.

 

[Vindictus]

Eh, I've seen relative times between Graduation and the Exams being anywhere between 6 months to a year- I'd figured that there would be enough time for triple boot camp.

...

Also, aren't the exams for 3 man teams only? We'd need someone to replace Sakura.

 

[Felius]

[Joke Vote] On the Job Training. Let's see if the Hokage have some A or S ranked missions for us to take our cute little genin to. Only do those.

[X] Get Naruto BASIC training... proper basic training...
- - [X] With usage of Kage Bunshin haxx... YOU did after all READ the report on HOW Naruto had taken out Mizuki.
- - - - [X] The boy is going to be worn out to the bone with his clones doing the basic work/studies...
[X] While the clones help Naruto learn, you're going to get the boys to do Tree Walking exercise to build up control and stamina.

[X] Once every seven days, the boys and you do D-rank missions designed to foster teamwork and teach basic skill sets.

[X] A temporary TEAM-MATE?
- - [X] Kurenai is gone isn't she? Lets steal one of her genin for a while.
- - - - [X] That Hyuuga girl is so kawaii and shy. It'd be fun and hilarious to force her out of her shell.

Because Naruto needs to understand what is to have a fangirl. Also, Hinata could probably use a confidence boost of Naruto therapy-no-jutso.

Although I'm tempted to add Vindictus vote to this, by training them very heavily, grinding them to elite nin. I want them to be Jounin level by the time they go to the Chunin exam.

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

Eh, I've seen relative times between Graduation and the Exams being anywhere between 6 months to a year- I'd figured that there would be enough time for triple boot camp.

...

Also, aren't the exams for 3 man teams only? We'd need someone to replace Sakura.

Click to shrink...

You know.. If we eventually make our way to Wave.. We could kidnap/conscript a trap/girl to the team. If we get there of course.

 

[GoC]

You know.. If we eventually make our way to Wave.. We could kidnap/conscript a trap/girl to the team. If we get there of course.

Click to shrink...

If there's a wave arc it'll be because you guys voted for it amongst all the available C-rank options.
I also can't promise it'll be the same as the canon one.

 

[crazyfoxdemon]

If there's a wave arc it'll be because you guys voted for it amongst all the available C-rank options.
I also can't promise it'll be the same as the canon one.

Click to shrink...

Question.. Are you using the anime filler to to flesh out the world a bit?

 

[Larekko12]

[x]Get a Comprehensive review of their Skills first hand through demonstration and prodding.
-[x]I mean really stinking comprehensive. Like do they garden? Do they have technical Hobbies.
[x]Then assess relative strengths and weaknesses that are complimentary.
[x]Then start them working on correcting those weakenesses with each others help.
---[x]Naruto has some gaps in his basics and maybe some unrefined trapping skill if those pranks are to be believed. Work on that. And Small unit tactics. Small unit clone tactics.
[x]Do all this with Punishing General Training.
[x]Leave a day off of Team Meals and Bonding.

 

[GoC]

Question.. Are you using the anime filler to to flesh out the world a bit?

Click to shrink...

Yep.

Also, no update today.

EDIT: And updated OP instead of posting actual (partially written write now) update. I think I'm procrastinating because I'm going to have to ignore most of the winning vote for various reasons...

 

[GoC]

OP updated with student profiles.
Had RL stuff, hence the delay.

[X] Get Naruto BASIC training... proper basic training...
- - [X] With usage of Kage Bunshin haxx... YOU did after all READ the report on HOW Naruto had taken out Mizuki.
- - - - [X] The boy is going to be worn out to the bone with his clones doing the basic work/studies...
[X] You're going to get the boys to do Tree Walking exercise to build up control and stamina. nope, instead:
[X] Operation ground and pound. You will grind your cute little genin into the dirt with physical conditioning, pound teamwork into their heads with a rusty hammer, and force them to improve.
-->[X] Or in other words, ANBU basic training, but for three times as long and without the option of dropping out.
[X] Once every seven days, the boys and you do D-rank missions designed to foster teamwork and teach basic skill sets.
[X] A temporary TEAM-MATE? A genin who didn't quite make the cut for elite team training is assigned...
- - [X] Kurenai is gone isn't she? Lets steal one of her genin for a while.
- - - - [X] That Hyuuga girl is so kawaii and shy. It'd be fun and hilarious to force her out of her shell. Asuma denies
[X] A temporary TEAM-MATE? A genin who didn't quite make the cut for elite team training is assigned...
- - [X] Looks like Ami has grown up?


You idly contemplate how amazing it would be if anything shadow clones learnt would transfer on it's destruction.

You ponder just having Sasuke go up and down trees all day, but discard the notion as counterproductive.

Instead you head over to Asuma and ask if you can steal his (adopted) Hyuuga. You are refused flat out.

"There is a MASSIVE skill difference between Hinata and Sasuke! Sasuke will give his normal blunt assessments and Hinata's repeated failures in front of her crush will wreck her self-confidence! I am not having you destroy all Kurenai's hard work just because you managed to break one of your gennin!"

Wow, he feels pretty strongly about this. He also threatens to take it to the hokage if you press matters.

Hmph.

You find a random gennin from the pool of rejects destined to be canon fodder instead. "Ami" you think she's called.

...She's pretty pathetic. Sure, she's a decent kunoichi by normal standards but she's in a different league to the clan kids and the difference between your gennin and her is immense. Sasuke literally beats her up with his eyes closed, one hand behind his back and standing on one leg (you lecture him about showing off) and there is more or less nothing she can do to either find or hurt Naruto even when he doesn't use shadow clones.

She also takes very badly to the intense training.

Still, you have to have three gennin in a team. It's tradition.

Your boys, in contrast, seem to almost relish the new pace.

Physical conditioning, taijutsu, field exercises against whole packs of emulated gennin (with a chunnin or two thrown in) opponents... You drive them as hard as possible but Naruto never falters and Sasuke seems almost comfortable pushing himself to his limits.

For the end of the week you set them up with three of the best D-ranks. The results...

Capturing Tora is something Naruto could have done on his own. Dozens of shadow clones with the senses of one of Orochimaru's blood-hound/bat monstrosities can search an area very quickly.

Sasuke turns out to have a calming genjutsu and turns the supposedly disreputable and mischievous children into little angels. He starts to protest when you tell him not to use jutsu on clients, but you tell him to deal with it.

Things could have gone badly with the kids back to their more usual selves, but Naruto turns out to be pretty good with children and plays with them for the remainder of the baby-sitting period.

You round it out with a demolition job. That actually works fairly well as far as teamwork is concerned. Sasuke shows off some precision Fire jutsu while Naruto's clones cart away rubbish and weaken walls. Poor exhausted Ami is once again redundant...

Two days later while you are testing the boy's taijutsu Sakura is returned by an unfamiliar ANBU.

"Sasuke-kun!!! I missed you!!!<3<3<3"

... You thought they were going to fix her! Not make her worse!

Sasuke seems to have discovered a whole new level of speed, reflexes and taijutsu skill as he desperately tries to fend off his stalker (...who apparently discovered some sort of turn-your-skin-to-steel power while in therapy?).

"The Hokage apologizes, but says the solution he hoped to reach is currently unattainable and a temporary alternative solution was found. His orders are to attempt team integration as best as possible until the permanent solution materializes."

Great.

Sakura is having difficulty cuddling Sasuke as the wild-eyed boy frantically alternates between trying to stab her and trying to escape. Naruto is paralyzed with indecision. Ami quite sensibly cowers behind a bush.

You desperately hope it's just her going over a week without seeing her "Sasuke-kun!" that is causing this behavior, otherwise you might have to go missing nin.

You replace Sasuke with a log and the Chaotic Interference jutsu (disclaimer: works against fragile ranged jutsu only) stops Sakura's Replacements while you figure out how on earth you're going to deal with this (short and long term).

 

[Vindictus]

Well, we've got the Crazy back again. Did we offend the dice gods or something?

 

[Pipeman]

Well, we've got the Crazy back again. Did we offend the dice gods or something?

Click to shrink...

Having Crazy on our team is part of the quest's basic premise.
The only way I'm seeing to get rid of her is having either of us die.
Scratch that.
She'd just come back anyways and death wasn't even an escape for canon!Kakashi.

Edit:
On the other hand, her profile said that, once Sasuke goes missing-nin (only a couple of months to go!), she's going to follow him.
Maybe we should speed that development up?

 

[Vindictus]

Well then... We'll have to stomp the crazy out of her, just like we're trying to stomp the pathetic out of the other two.

[X] Well, if you have to teach her she'll go through the same training as the other two. Ridiculously high goals, HO!

 

[R.A.G.]

[X] Well, if you have to teach her she'll go through the same training as the other two. Ridiculously high goals, HO!
-tell sasuke that if he knows of any way to make her missing nin you're willing to look the other way.<_< >_>

 

[Felius]

Same training is a bad idea.

[X] We have to grind the crazy out of her. Train her twice, no, thrice as hard as Naruto and Sasuke!

 

[GoC]

Yes, a die roll went quite badly there.
Having a Sakura without the yandere was quite possible (still is, but good write-ins will be needed), but well...

Are you keeping Ami in team?

Also, just want to emphasize this bit of Sakura's profile:

Genjutsu immunity, perfect control (and hence perfect muscle/durability/speed enhancement), (slow) regeneration, nigh-instant jutsu casting, does not need hand-seals, nigh-instant chakra regeneration, very low chakra capacity with fixed growth rate.

Click to shrink...

She'd benefit not at all from exercise and her need to constantly move almost all her chakra to enhance specific limbs to have any power behind her punches means no current taijutsu styleno style except Tsunades works for her (they rely on nice even strength throughout the body).
The instant chakra regen and perfect enhancement also means she can't be tired out (as she can just power her muscles with pure chakra).
This obviously doesn't mean the field exercises part of the training won't be beneficial.

Yep, her abilities are just as broken as her comrades.

 

[EnderofWorlds]

I don't like this Sakura; like, at all. I propose we do mock battles where it's Sakura and Naruto vs. Sasuke. That should do some wonders on her mental state...

 

[Larekko12]

Eh what about nade-chan's taijutsu?

Eh I'd say drill her in gen or medical ninjutsu but she'd use them to rape sasuke into her plaything.


And damn. Poor ami.

 

[GoC]

Eh what about nade-chan's taijutsu?

Click to shrink...

Oops.
I dun goofed.
Corrected.

 

[Jans]

[J] Eat crazy and absorb her power.

No, I kid I kid. Couldn't resist. =P

Short Term
[X] Introduce them to The Log. No, not the one you do replacement with. This one. The big one. That they have to carry around if they want to go anywhere. That they're not allowed to set on fire, whittle down, or otherwise destroy. (And if they do, you can just replace it.) That any one person slacking off (or over-compensating) will make it harder for the rest. Learn the Log. Hate the Log. Love the Log.
-[X] Promise them that when they're done they can carve up The Log for their own personal replacement logs. Remind them of it often. Let them dream, nay, fantasize of completing their teamwork training so they can carve it up.
--[X] Make note aloud that every time Sakura tries to help Sasuke or snubs Naruto/Ami that she is actually making his life harder. That she is best served by doing an equal, undistracted share of the work in coordination with the others.
---[X] Hell, if you can make a note of describing everything to Sakura in terms of how it helps Sasuke (Which would involve letting him learn (breath) and such) your life will probably go a lot easier. Sakura needs to behave so Sasuke can benefit from the training.

Long Term
[X] Need to find Sakura's limits. Need to find her break points. Really need to find how she deals with an existential crisis before it happens in the field. Do the later two gently, but with increasing force if it doesn't come out. Better that she accepts her existence in a situation where (if need be) she can be put down like a rabid dog than in the middle of a mission. Continue using Sasuke's well being and Sasuke's benefit to get her to do what you want. Plans can and will change if we manage to break through the crazy.

[X] Ami needs something to get her useful. Put her in charge of logistics (and make a habit of visibly switching up meals/supplies. Even if she doesn't try to favor Sasuke or poison Sakura/Naruto it'll keep her from trying) and paperwork. If she's not fit to be a heavy combat nin, then don't train her as one. You've just won your own personal administrative ninja assistant.

[X] Sasuke needs to learn capture and evasion techniques. Use Sakura as a reason. Slowly get him used to the idea of using psychology and other people to distract and understand a target. Teach him to deal with an opponent that he can't harm directly for one reason or another. When (if) the Sakura incentive wears off, merely point out how useful this would be in dealing with other potentially insane and hostile ninja. If his brain doesn't make the connection, he is dumb.

[X] Train Naruto in lateral thinking. Not just outside the box but in three directions at once. Shadow Clones are still immensely useful* but they become even better if their user can think on his feet. Frame it like pranking, compare it to evading pursuers, make every little lesson interesting. This is important, if Naruto is attention-starved/ADHD/hyper/whatever anything you teach needs to catch his attention. Don't worry about keeping it, that'll probably be impossible. Just have a bunch of little things you can feed him every time he starts to get distracted. Build the puzzle of a thousand pieces kind of training.

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I... apologize for how wordy this is. I started with a joke, then went to write something relevant, couldn't stop, and ended with all of this. I might actually use some of it in my own work whether or not you end up using it here. ^^;

 

[EnderofWorlds]

[X] Jans' plan, with the caveat of making the log shinobi-worthy by making it ungodly heavy via added weights or gravity seals; whatever works to make the Log true hell.

 

[Jans]

Heavy enough that a chakra enhanced lift by one person couldn't just do the whole thing, but not enough that they can't get it up.

If they do use chakra to make it easier, don't shoot them down. Just have them do it for long enough that the members without infinite chakra start wearing down. Chances are this will be Sasuke right? Inform Sakura that she's making life harder for him.

Ami... probably shouldn't be in on this. Seriously. Get her doing paperwork and organizing supplies. A good logistics (wo)man is absolute gold.