Twisted Pinwheel

[Bobs Beard]

Put some hot Uchiha-crest-shaped metal plates under his favourite orange pants. Not hot enough to leave scars, of course, but hot enough to cause pain and mark the pants.

Click to shrink...

Put some hot Uchiha-crest-shaped metal plates under his favourite orange pants. Not hot enough to leave scars, of course, but hot enough to cause pain and mark the pants.

Click to shrink...

This isn't a prank, though, this is just someone being stupid.

Look - fabric burns, right? So 'mark the pants with heat' already is a silly thing - as that means burning the pants to some degree or other.

And no, you can't say 'well I just wanted to keep the heat low enough it wouldn't burn the pants' - because any heat that low wouldn't be able to rapidly mark Naruto's skin via heat. And I'd like to think you have faith Naruto would take off questionably, painfully hot pants before such time is allowed. So you're stuck with high heat for instant action, if you want to make this happen.

Regardless of how thick one thinks Naruto is, I think we can all agree he'd notice something wrong with pants that are currently smoldering, and would not put them on.

Similarly - the weight of the metal's going to skew the weight of his pants heavily - you think he's not going to notice his pants weigh like four times what they should?

Actually, forget the weight - how are the metal plates going to stay in place/be hidden? The moment he lifts up the pants they're going to fall - and if you secure them inside the pants, that's going to either catch on fire or at least impeded the Uchiha crest's ability to imprint in full, rather than with restraining stitchlines breaking up the outline.

And then, if somehow all those big problems with the fundamental thrust of this prank all don't make this crash and burn (which they really should, as we're attempting to prank a prankster here, this is literally what Naruto is good at right now), there's still a massive problem.

You ready for it?

Burning people and painfully marking them just 'cuz isn't a prank, unless you consider those heinously stupid drunk college prank vids that often result in hospital visits are pranks - there is a line that, once crossed, makes something stop being a prank and start being malicious - and scalding the Hokage's favorite tyke with a symbol of the people he's had trouble with is one of those ways.


At least revise your ideas a bit before you come up with a plan, rather than just throw up the first thing you thought of, despite it's mechanical issues and formidible ramifications.

 

[The Nobody]

You know that prank of putting sharp things on the chair before the person sits down? Like that, but with something hot. Hopefully, Naruto's quick enough to stand up that it won't leave a permanent mark.

Also, I'd like to make a joke about how a habit of making complicated plans might blind people to simple solutions, but I'm afraid it might sound insulting. Which I don't want it to.

 

[Koled]

True I kinda skimed over it intead of reading it in full tbh, just wanted to start the ball for the prank war so mhnn....

[X] Dye Naruto's hair and all possessions red-and-black. With maybe some small Uchiha crests where fashionably proper.
-[X] His fondness for ramen is well know so gift naruto some instant ramen as an apology.Of course rigged wih a smoke bomb.
-[X] Leave a note saying "With the apreciation of the Uchiha clan." on top of your gifted ramen.
-[X] In Sasuke handwriting.
-[X] Then make it so when he leaves his home a bucket of black paint falls upon him.

A litle sparse but hopefully less psychotic.

 

[Bobs Beard]

You know that prank of putting sharp things on the chair before the person sits down? Like that, but with something hot.

Click to shrink...

Fine, not in his pants then - that's still impossible.

Anything that'd be hot enough that it'd get to 'YIPES, HOT!' levels before someone would hit the 'hm my butt's warmer than it should be, that's wierd; I'll stand up and check' would be hot enough to cause serious damage and light many a material on fire.

Naruto pant's aren't exactly the flimsiest of butt protection out there, Kakashi be damned, and mechanical logistics matter for joke implementation - as otherwise it goes way farther than you want, or just fails to do what you wanted and now you look like a putz for doing something pointless.

Also, I'd like to make a joke about how a habit of making complicated plans might blind people to simple solutions, but I'm afraid it might sound insulting. Which I don't want it to.

Click to shrink...

Fair enough - I'll also pass on the joke I'd like to make about how a habit of just casually planning and trusting simple solutions to work without scrutinizing them first might blind people to the fact simple does not mean lightly thought through, but I'm pretty sure it'd sound insulting. So I won't do that.

 

[prandom]

[X] - Well, the Elders tell you to 'do something about it', so that's what you'll do: You'll make sure Naruto is professional about his pranking.
-[X] - First off, what's up with him getting caught all the time despite being sneaky enough to do all this crud? You'll introduce him to the concept of minions, scapegoats and alibis, because it's awesome to have people stuck because they can't prove you did something!
-[X] - Second off, where's his variety? Paint, paint paint paint - it's getting boring, and he even sticks to the same general extra garish colors. Diversity's key if you want to keep things fresh - rigging prank traps in people's houses like projectile egg cartons in the fridge, whatever really so long as it's new.
-[X] - Third off, he should really be less trusting and open to someone just randomly giving him help, as they can learn more than enough to get him back. Demonstrate this, by finishing your lesson by framing him for a prank on the Akimichi clan and making sure he knows it.
-[X] ...Along the way, find out the names of what paints and dies he used on you. You plan to keep your room the same color, and you imagine being able to easily restore it should ill mannered elders see fit to change it would help. Also you don't really mind the blond look.

 

[The Nobody]

Anything that'd be hot enough that it'd get to 'YIPES, HOT!' levels before someone would hit the 'hm my butt's warmer than it should be, that's wierd; I'll stand up and check' would be hot enough to cause serious damage and light many a material on fire.

Click to shrink...

Would it be hot enough to leave a permanent mark on his pants? If yes (and my experience with ironing clothes tells me that's likely) than goal achieved.

"Lacking a detailed explanation" does not (or should not) equal "poorly though out", if that's what you're trying to tell me.

 

[Bobs Beard]

Would it be hot enough to leave a permanent mark on his pants? If yes (and my experience with ironing clothes tells me that's likely) than goal achieved.

Click to shrink...

Okay sure, that's something and a totally functional prank and I have no qualms with it, but...

But this is outright the first time you've presented it as that specifically, rather than focusing at least as much on the pain causing/Naruto-himself-marking part of the dealy and having the pants-marking part be a side effect.

Look:

Although, the Elders would probably demand something much more painful and humiliating. Put some hot Uchiha-crest-shaped metal plates under his favourite orange pants. Not hot enough to leave scars, of course, but hot enough to cause pain and mark the pants.

Click to shrink...

You know that prank of putting sharp things on the chair before the person sits down(an example of a purely pain-causing prank)? Like that, but with something hot. Hopefully, Naruto's quick enough to stand up that it won't leave a permanent mark.

Click to shrink...

All prior reference talked at least as much about the hurting/marking Naruto part as it did the pants-marking part.

Which is why I decried them - because that aspect of the 'simply planned' joke was wholly unsound and unsafe, not the pants-ruining part.

"Lacking a detailed explanation" does not (or should not) equal "poorly though out", if that's what you're trying to tell me.

Click to shrink...

No, but missing the meaningful difference between 'I want to do a prank that causes A and B(Wherein B is a problem)' and 'I want to do a prank that causes A' is an example of something being poorly thought out - at least to me.

 

[The Nobody]

Let me assure you that, in my limited experience with leaving marks on clothes with hot objects, if that had happened while the clothes were on me, I would feel that quite sharply. I'm also mostly sure that, with Naruto's regeneration, there would be no permanent scars. After all, Mio is not yet old enough to claim any posteriors as Mio's property yet.

I'm also reasonably sure that I'm capable of making a joke that would come off as light-hearted at this point... So may I say we can mark off this argument as concluded, hm?

 

[Selias]

Why are you even considering following the spirit of the Uchiha elder's poorly worded demand?

We don't like those stuffy guys.

Click to shrink...

Besides the fact that they've already tortured her, and we shouldn't give them another reason to?

"Ah... well, about that." you say, scratching the back of your neck. "Shit happens?"

It's clearly not the right thing to say, as two fingers press against your spine and you hear the soft crackle of an electric punishment technique that someone stole a few hundred years ago and has seen some use through the clan ever since for the sake of discipline. There's some soft-hearted outsiders who make a fuss every now and again, but it's not like they can do anything about it. Until you become a ninja, a child of the clan is basically property of the clan and matters inside the clan are handled by the clan. As long as it's nothing that affects you outside of the clan, there's nothing to be done about it even after you make the grade and become both clan and village property. And inside the clan, punishments go through parents first, and after that elders. With no parents, it's just one particular elder with a brambly set of thorns up his ass and a hard-on for displaying authority.

The Hokage might be able to lay down the law from on high, but he's not going to start a civil war over it when it's just more or less the same thing as a thrashing, only more dramatic and actually less physically damaging, especially when the Hyuuga jump all over and beat the living shit out of anything that looks like it might even faintly resemble impugning on clan rights.
More painful than a beating though.

Oh holy shit is it more painful. Broken bones aint shit compared to getting all of your nerves set to yelling that shit hurts all at once. Your ears are ringing like an emergency siren, but you faintly make out something about 'disappointment' and 'better than best' and you need to find a way to convince this fucker to get the hell out of your house before you do something really stupid like spit in the guys face and give him an excuse to respond to the insult.

You can't think of a good way, so you resort to a dumb one, letting your self control slip beyond just twitching and spasming uncontrollably on the ground. You roll your eyes and let go of your iron-shod grip on your bladder, pretending to pass out and soil yourself.

Fucker sneers and gives you a thump with the cane as he limps out of your house, too disgusted by you to keep lecturing you on Uchiha pride. Hooray for pyrrhic victories. Now once you get up you're going to have to change and wash clothes.

You wait a good hour for that. For realism. And also because it's going to take a while before you can stand up again anyway, so you might as well be able to take more than a step before you go face-first into the floor again.

"Goat fucker." you eventually groan as you lurch to your feet.

Click to shrink...

 

[Deathwings]

Besides the fact that they've already tortured her, and we shouldn't give them another reason to?

Click to shrink...

That's disregarding the possibility that she hate them enough to not care.

 

[Winged One]

Besides the fact that they've already tortured her, and we shouldn't give them another reason to?

Click to shrink...

I'd just like to point out an assumption here.

You seem to think that they torture Mio for reasons. Considering that their stated grievance that time was that she took a hit in a fight that she won, it's pretty clear that her behavior has no effect on the elders' orphan-torture boner.

 

[Hyp3rB14d3]

Yeah, they're actively looking for excuses to torture her. Trying not to give them one only goes so far when they can just change the criteria for what constitutes a reason.

 

[Mystletainn]

Yeah, they're actively looking for excuses to torture her. Trying not to give them one only goes so far when they can just change the criteria for what constitutes a reason.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, and they will definitely stop pushing things to make DioMio behaves more "Uchiha" because all that punishment finally effective enough to make her listen to their words. And if she didn't listen again, they just need to use a "better" one. Why not? After all, though it took quite some time, last time, the punishment method works!

Yeah, nope.

[X] Plan Beard

 

[Labuto]

[X] - Well, the Elders tell you to 'do something about it', so that's what you'll do: You'll make sure Naruto is professional about his pranking.
-[X] - First off, what's up with him getting caught all the time despite being sneaky enough to do all this crud? You'll introduce him to the concept of minions, scapegoats and alibis, because it's awesome to have people stuck because they can't prove you did something!
-[X] - Second off, where's his variety? Paint, paint paint paint - it's getting boring, and he even sticks to the same general extra garish colors. Diversity's key if you want to keep things fresh - rigging prank traps in people's houses like projectile egg cartons in the fridge, whatever really so long as it's new.
-[X] - Third off, he should really be less trusting and open to someone just randomly giving him help, as they can learn more than enough to get him back. Demonstrate this, by finishing your lesson by framing him for a prank on the Akimichi clan and making sure he knows it.

 

[Valette-Serafina]

[X] - Well, the Elders tell you to 'do something about it', so that's what you'll do: You'll make sure Naruto is professional about his pranking.
-[X] - First off, what's up with him getting caught all the time despite being sneaky enough to do all this crud? You'll introduce him to the concept of minions, scapegoats and alibis, because it's awesome to have people stuck because they can't prove you did something!
-[X] - Second off, where's his variety? Paint, paint paint paint - it's getting boring, and he even sticks to the same general extra garish colors. Diversity's key if you want to keep things fresh - rigging prank traps in people's houses like projectile egg cartons in the fridge, whatever really so long as it's new.
-[X] - Third off, he should really be less trusting and open to someone just randomly giving him help, as they can learn more than enough to get him back. Demonstrate this, by finishing your lesson by framing him for a prank on the Akimichi clan and making sure he knows it.
-[X] ...Along the way, find out the names of what paints and dies he used on you. You plan to keep your room the same color, and you imagine being able to easily restore it should ill mannered elders see fit to change it would help. Also you don't really mind the blond look.

 

[Minion #Q]

[X] - Well, the Elders tell you to 'do something about it', so that's what you'll do: You'll make sure Naruto is professional about his pranking.
-[X] - First off, what's up with him getting caught all the time despite being sneaky enough to do all this crud? You'll introduce him to the concept of minions, scapegoats and alibis, because it's awesome to have people stuck because they can't prove you did something!
-[X] - Second off, where's his variety? Paint, paint paint paint - it's getting boring, and he even sticks to the same general extra garish colors. Diversity's key if you want to keep things fresh - rigging prank traps in people's houses like projectile egg cartons in the fridge, whatever really so long as it's new.
-[X] - Third off, he should really be less trusting and open to someone just randomly giving him help, as they can learn more than enough to get him back. Demonstrate this, by finishing your lesson by framing him for a prank on the Akimichi clan and making sure he knows it.
-[X] ...Along the way, find out the names of what paints and dies he used on you. You plan to keep your room the same color, and you imagine being able to easily restore it should ill mannered elders see fit to change it would help. Also you don't really mind the blond look.

 

[Chibi-Reaper]

"AAARGH!" one of the civilian-born clowns howls, clutching at his eyes as you enter the classroom, gleaming. "It's like staring into the sun!"

The Uzumaki boy is pointing and laughing, and the crowd shifts, glancing to the impeccably-tidied-up Sasuke. Cousin-dearest is back in his normal clothes, and it appears that his hair has either been scoured clean in the time provided, or simply dyed back to proper Uchiha black.

He scowls and looks away, the petulant boy. Still, you suppose you had better take control of this incident before trouble sets in. Being children, the other students might come to think that pointing at you and laughing is in any way acceptable.

"That's right! I, Mio, am the sun!" you declare, stomping up onto a desk and pointing dramatically. "I, Mio, am malevolent flame and death given form, and it is only by my benevolent forbearance that your crops continue to grow, only by my whim that basking in my glory produces only a subtle warmth! Praise me for my natural mercy!"

"... Ha?" The Uzumaki boy continues, extended finger drooping as the class chews on your words, scattered muttering erupts, and it's all written off as you being slightly more eccentric than normal today. 'Future Jounin', one of the instructors grumbles darkly, under his breath.

The Uzumaki is left blinking as you toss your hair over your shoulder, scattering a tiny pinch of the glitter caught within along the breeze, and the whole matter is ignored.

"..... I did that." he complains to himself, as the instructor wastes his time with a review ensuring that all the civilian children still remember what the country is named, and other only mildly less inane things.

"You're so eager to take the blame." you hum to yourself, idly. "Really, masochism is distasteful to most people, you know? And it's always paint. Is it that you have no better ideas, or are you just trying to sign your name so people know who to look for?"

"Getting away with it isn't the point." Naruto huffs.

"Such a masochist." you sigh, even as he scowls and grumbles about not knowing what that word means. "But at least, you should put a little variety into it. Try something new. You don't seem particularly clever, so we'll have to take this slowly."

"Hey!" the Uzumaki boy snaps, and gets a bit of chalk beaned off his head for his trouble.

"How do you feel about rotten eggs... triggered stink-bombs?" you ask, leadingly.

Naruto pauses, and then his grin is fiendish.

In hushed whispers, back and forth, you ignore the lecture and quietly guide the Uzumaki's thoughts in the general direction you want, coaxing him into taking notes and thinking things through and accidentally dropping hints about how to mess with the Uchiha elders.

All good things have to end, though, and you're counting down the minutes.

"Sooo.... why aren't you mad?" the Uzumaki finally asks, as you eat lunch outdoors, having quietly escaped class.

This is actually in the rules, though you doubt that anyone, even the teachers, read them in absolute thoroughness. You can just cheat, though. If you get caught cutting class, then of course you'll be punished for it. If you get away clean, however, the judgement appears to be that you deserve the break and get to keep full attendance credit, though the instructors will be watching closely for your next attempt. It's assumed that you'll just keep up with whatever you skipped on your own time.

You hum, thoughtfully, around a skewer of grilled meat.

"Two things. Firstly, I, Mio, do not particularly mind the style change. I, Mio, am the definition of fabulous, no matter what I am wearing." you declare, smugly.

.... In hindsight, you feel like you could be putting more dramatic impact in. You'll have to think of a way to make a genjutsu to do that. You know there's a Jounin who does something with the setting sun, though all other details are not spoken of. Maybe you should just try for some sort of glowing aura, or spotlight? That seems easier.

"Secondly, however, you did enter my home and unlawfully desecrate it." you allow, and smirk. "Since when were you under the impression that I was not upset?"

Naruto appears baffled, before a group of merchants and towel-wrapped hot-spring-visitors burst around the corner. They're covered with foul smelling eggs, remnants of smelly smoke, and are howling for blood.

Much in the way you wasted no time in preparing traps to go off on a specific timer, you don't hesitate to raise a hand and imperiously finger Naruto for the crime.

The gobsmacked betrayal on his face is delicious, though you have only a moment to savor it before he breaks off in a sprint to escape his newfound pursuers.

You stretch and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. You'd be more satisfied if you weren't basically coerced into it, but you're pretty sure that the Uzumaki boy doesn't currently have the level of suspicious double-think necessary to figure out that you're pointing him at the elders deliberately, so it's treachery all around. Flawless.

Unless he's spiteful enough to completely discard your efforts to improve his japery just because you stabbed him in the back a little, anyway.

You stretch, decide not to think too deeply about it, and consider how to spend the rest of your day.

---

[ ] You could hit the library for something. (What?)
[ ] Class lets out soon. You could find one of your classmates and harrass them. They call it 'hanging out'. You've got a lot of classmates to pick from, although obviously the Uzumaki boy isn't going to be available for your attention. Maybe the Inuzuka one? Or one of the others... (Who?)
[ ] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.
[ ] You can practice stealth and espionage skills. By which you mean you'll lurk around the slums, sniff around for gossip, and if you're lucky you might finally catch a pickpocket in the act. That would be a victory on two counts, learning to pick pockets, and a justified target.
[ ] ??

 

[Snake/Eater]

[X] You could hit the library for something. (What?)

 

[ChandraMagic]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.

Because Mio and Gai have to meet.

 

[Butter Flies]

[X] ChandraMagic

Also, holy shit it's alive.

 

[abyssmal_kismet]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.

 

[ryune]

[X] ChandraMagic

I have no clue what is going on in this anymore.

 

[Bobs Beard]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.

Let's see - we know that Strong Fist is boss as fuck, and that Sasuke was all too happy to make use of it himself.

Aaaaaand we're playing a sneaky Sharingan-gal.

Yeah, this'd be worth it even if there wasn't the amazing zaniness angle or the entirely practical genjutsu interest.


Also as an extra bonus; the better we get at making entrances, the better of a first impression we can make when we finally meet Jiraiya.

Just imagine Mio stealing his thunder mid-entrance to out-introduce herself...

 

[asdx]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.

Because Mio and Gai have to meet.

Click to shrink...

Yeeeees.

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.

 

[Guile]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.
-[X] If that many people fear him, he must be doing SOMETHING right.

 

[Valette-Serafina]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.

 

[Ct613hulu]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.

 

[Biigoh]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.
-[X] If that many people fear him, he must be doing SOMETHING right.

 

[mannan]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.
-[X] If that many people fear him, he must be doing SOMETHING right.


I can see it now, Guy getting us as one of his protoge, and the rest of the clan having a collective anuerysm, but can't do much about it because Guy is a jonin and is still one of the best that Konoha has so they can't really insult him that much.

 

[Dark Ness]

[X] Actually, you think you're on to something with the thematic genjutsu idea. You just need to find that Jounin. All of the older people go a little pale and uncomfortable when he's mentioned, including the older Uchiha, so you can call that a net win no matter how it goes.
-[X] If that many people fear him, he must be doing SOMETHING right.