Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
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27th December
07:39 GMT +3
"You didn't.. have to come with me, you know." Donna glances my way as we fly over the orchard and head towards Lord Hades's palace. "Not that I'm.. trying to get rid of you or anything, but it is Christmas."
"World-ending catastrophes don't get put on hold because it's the holidays."
"Do Americans actually call it that?"
"What-? The.. holidays?"
"Yes. I had assumed that it was one of those anti-political correctness straw man things, but I've actually heard people doing it."
"It's.. just what I call it?"
"Okay, but-." I take a breath as we swoop downwards to the entrance, the undead on guard duty raising their right hands in greeting. "Donna, I… Struggle to pass up opportunities to mock America-."
She opens her mouth, hands covering her cheeks in mock astonishment. "You do? I'd never noticed that."
"It's just something about you-. Actually, did you have to sort out your citizenship stuff after you found out where you came from?"
"Did I actually, or, legally, should I?"
We land and walk inside the building.
"Both?"
"I still have a secret identity. Donna Troy was born in America, and explaining that I technically maybe wasn't would be a lot of work for no real reason. And everyone assumes that Troia's an Amazon anyway."
"Even after they hear you talk?"
Donna shrugs. "Diana speaks English without a Themysciran accent. Why shouldn't I?"
"Oh, I suppose… Ah, anyway, my point was going to be that there are other holidays and it wouldn't be the huge celebration it is if it wasn't the main annual Christian festival-."
"Didn't you used to be an atheist?"
"Yes, and that meant that I had to, for example, reject the seven day biblical week cycle. You would not believe how hard being theologically obliged to use a ten day week made things."
That gets a faint smile. "Right…"
"But calling it 'the holidays' is actually a-?"
"What are you doing here?"
Melinoë stares at us both from a short distance down the corridor, her hands on her hips.
"I died."
"The line is that way." She points down the corridor behind her, then turns back to me, frowning. "You don't feel dead."
"I got better. I'm here to make a formal complaint."
Her eyes narrow. "About not being dead?"
"About the whole process. I was assured in no uncertain terms that being a Hellenist meant that my soul would come here. It didn't."
"What?!"
"I know!"
She wheels and stalks down the corridor away from us. "This way."
Donna and I follow her at a jog, catching up with her just as she reaches the doors to Lord Hades's throne room. Which she proceeds to shove open, revealing the court within.
And the first thing I see is Ted Kord, blinking in confusion as Lord Hades finishes attaching him to Erebos.
"Huh? What?"
Lord Hades turns away from his newest resident and marches back to his throne before turning and seating himself. A functionary passes him a scroll and he has a brief glance at the opening passage.
"Theodore Stephen Kord."
"Yeah?" Ted turns to face him, then glances left and right in a frantic attempt to work out where he is. "Where am I?"
"You are in Erebos. I am Hades, King of the Dead." Lord Hades looks down at him, a sympathetic expression on his face. "Would you like to take a moment to order your thoughts? People often find it helpful."
"Ah..? Thanks?"
"Minos, would you be so good as to go over things with him? I believe that my daughter wishes to speak with me."
"Certainly, sire." An older looking but still vital man walks over from the advisor's area and beckons to Ted. "Now, are there any family you would like to speak to at this time?"
"Melinoë." Lord Hades raises his hands in greeting. "Pavlos! Donna! Approach! What business brings you to my court?"
We approach, and Ted does a double take as we make eye contact over Minos's shoulder. "Paul? What's going on?"
"Karrien Excalibris killed you. We're working on fixing it."
"Okay? Great? Ah…" He returns his attention to Minos. "I don't… Think so? Unless you're telling me otherwise?"
"Father, Pavlos died."
"Two in one day? That's a little unusual in this era. Do you mind waiting until we've finished with Mister Kord, or do the two of you want to throw dice for it?"
"I'm afraid that I've since been restored to true life, my lord. I won't be troubling you in your judicial capacity for a little while yet."
"You died, and yet left my realm?"
"Not precisely, my lord. I was resurrected without coming here."
"It must have been remarkably swift, then. Usually, a shade would come to us within a day or two."
"My lord, before this turns into one of those cross-purpose conversations which I know you find tiresome… I died, and my soul did not come here. It went somewhere else entirely."
Hades stands suddenly, his normally placid countenance filled with a sudden rage.
"What?"
07:39 GMT +3
"You didn't.. have to come with me, you know." Donna glances my way as we fly over the orchard and head towards Lord Hades's palace. "Not that I'm.. trying to get rid of you or anything, but it is Christmas."
"World-ending catastrophes don't get put on hold because it's the holidays."
"Do Americans actually call it that?"
"What-? The.. holidays?"
"Yes. I had assumed that it was one of those anti-political correctness straw man things, but I've actually heard people doing it."
"It's.. just what I call it?"
"Okay, but-." I take a breath as we swoop downwards to the entrance, the undead on guard duty raising their right hands in greeting. "Donna, I… Struggle to pass up opportunities to mock America-."
She opens her mouth, hands covering her cheeks in mock astonishment. "You do? I'd never noticed that."
"It's just something about you-. Actually, did you have to sort out your citizenship stuff after you found out where you came from?"
"Did I actually, or, legally, should I?"
We land and walk inside the building.
"Both?"
"I still have a secret identity. Donna Troy was born in America, and explaining that I technically maybe wasn't would be a lot of work for no real reason. And everyone assumes that Troia's an Amazon anyway."
"Even after they hear you talk?"
Donna shrugs. "Diana speaks English without a Themysciran accent. Why shouldn't I?"
"Oh, I suppose… Ah, anyway, my point was going to be that there are other holidays and it wouldn't be the huge celebration it is if it wasn't the main annual Christian festival-."
"Didn't you used to be an atheist?"
"Yes, and that meant that I had to, for example, reject the seven day biblical week cycle. You would not believe how hard being theologically obliged to use a ten day week made things."
That gets a faint smile. "Right…"
"But calling it 'the holidays' is actually a-?"
"What are you doing here?"
Melinoë stares at us both from a short distance down the corridor, her hands on her hips.
"I died."
"The line is that way." She points down the corridor behind her, then turns back to me, frowning. "You don't feel dead."
"I got better. I'm here to make a formal complaint."
Her eyes narrow. "About not being dead?"
"About the whole process. I was assured in no uncertain terms that being a Hellenist meant that my soul would come here. It didn't."
"What?!"
"I know!"
She wheels and stalks down the corridor away from us. "This way."
Donna and I follow her at a jog, catching up with her just as she reaches the doors to Lord Hades's throne room. Which she proceeds to shove open, revealing the court within.
And the first thing I see is Ted Kord, blinking in confusion as Lord Hades finishes attaching him to Erebos.
"Huh? What?"
Lord Hades turns away from his newest resident and marches back to his throne before turning and seating himself. A functionary passes him a scroll and he has a brief glance at the opening passage.
"Theodore Stephen Kord."
"Yeah?" Ted turns to face him, then glances left and right in a frantic attempt to work out where he is. "Where am I?"
"You are in Erebos. I am Hades, King of the Dead." Lord Hades looks down at him, a sympathetic expression on his face. "Would you like to take a moment to order your thoughts? People often find it helpful."
"Ah..? Thanks?"
"Minos, would you be so good as to go over things with him? I believe that my daughter wishes to speak with me."
"Certainly, sire." An older looking but still vital man walks over from the advisor's area and beckons to Ted. "Now, are there any family you would like to speak to at this time?"
"Melinoë." Lord Hades raises his hands in greeting. "Pavlos! Donna! Approach! What business brings you to my court?"
We approach, and Ted does a double take as we make eye contact over Minos's shoulder. "Paul? What's going on?"
"Karrien Excalibris killed you. We're working on fixing it."
"Okay? Great? Ah…" He returns his attention to Minos. "I don't… Think so? Unless you're telling me otherwise?"
"Father, Pavlos died."
"Two in one day? That's a little unusual in this era. Do you mind waiting until we've finished with Mister Kord, or do the two of you want to throw dice for it?"
"I'm afraid that I've since been restored to true life, my lord. I won't be troubling you in your judicial capacity for a little while yet."
"You died, and yet left my realm?"
"Not precisely, my lord. I was resurrected without coming here."
"It must have been remarkably swift, then. Usually, a shade would come to us within a day or two."
"My lord, before this turns into one of those cross-purpose conversations which I know you find tiresome… I died, and my soul did not come here. It went somewhere else entirely."
Hades stands suddenly, his normally placid countenance filled with a sudden rage.
"What?"