Otherworld (supplementary, Renegade Option)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2016
- Messages
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1st May
07:31 GMT -6
"…President Horne getting a surprising degree of traction in Colorado."
"I…" I nod my head to the side. The gesture will be lost over the radio, but increasing numbers of people watch over the internet these days. "I think it's really more that… With me here… People are willing to look beyond their customary party loyalties and examine the actual content of his platform." I raise my hands. "Though I want to be clear-."
My interviewer raises her pencil-thin eyebrows sceptically. "You're not campaigning for the President."
"Just so. I-."
"Every time you get an interview and promote the President, you say you're not campaigning."
I shrug. "The President is what people ask me about. You can ask me about Senator N-."
"Senator Knight. Since you can't seem to remember his name from one interview to the next."
"I was going to say Senator Northrup Bristol…" I frown. "He's still in the running, isn't he?"
"He's still on the ballot paper, but he can't get enough delegates to win the nomination."
And she knows that I'm messing about. I nod to concede the point, and decide that it's time to retire that joke. Senator Bristol didn't have much of a following, even amongst the arch-conservatives who might be considered his natural followers, largely because he sounded dangerously close to wanting to give certain parts of his social ideals… An undue amount of legal authority. Fault-only divorce was one of his more sensible policies.
"You can ask me about my dealings with Senator Knight if you like, but it won't take very long."
"Okay then. What dealing have you had with Senator Knight?"
"Basically none." I shrug. "I arranged for his protection when Doctor Cochin tried to carry out his coup, and I've been on the periphery of a few discussions he and the President were part of, but that's about it. I don't think we've exchanged more than a dozen words. You see; I can only tell you about the interactions I've actually had with people, so anything I say on the subject is naturally going to focus on President Horne. But you can ask me about anything else."
"Alright then." She turns to the… Internet text-channel thing. "Have you got anything to say about rumours you're dating a horse?"
"No, no. Completely ridiculous."
"Because they've got pictu-."
"Princess Luna is a pony, not a horse. A horse would be taller. Also, she's from a parallel universe where ponies are intelligent. Really, it's no more weird than me dating a human would be. Also, she went from trying to stab me to dating me, a dramatic improvement on the order in my previous relationship."
Her expression suggests that she doesn't quite know how to take that. Jade's doing… I hesitate to call it 'good' work in Africa, but certainly 'productive' and 'beneficent'. Their politicians are mostly-. I should say, their surviving politicians are mostly honest, and we're making progress with their industry. The continent as a whole has never been more stable or principled and Lex is building so many spaceships without having to worry about first world spies.
"So.. I.. understand that you send your children to a public school."
I fro-. "Oh! Oh, sorry. Ah. In Britain a 'public' school is one you can attend regardless of where you live or what religion you practise. They're still private organisations, rather than public services." I nod. "Yes, all my children attend our local school. Since none of them had what you might call.. normal childhoods, I thought that improving their social skills and.. helping them make connections in the local community was the most important consideration."
"That implies you don't think very highly of the quality of the school's teaching."
"No, no, that's… I'm in the fortunate position to have good relations with the genomorphs. I employ a lot of them in Challenger Mountain and I've been involved in helping them find their feet in human society. So it really wasn't that difficult to have a lot of the purely rote learning stuff telepathically inserted into my children's minds. That's a service the genomorphs offer commercially, and since my younger children would have been so far behind their peers otherwise it seemed wise to avail ourselves of it."
"So between the genomorphs teaching them facts and the school teaching them how to use it, you've covered all of your bases."
I nod. "Nearly. I had to cover a couple of things myself. There aren't a lot of New Gods on Earth, so I had to teach Lynne the New God specific things myself. Likewise, my younger children have a tutor for their own arcane abilities. And since American schools are so reticent in that area, I had to cover sex education myself. Which was a little bit awkward, because I had no prior knowledge of how sanitary pads or.. tampons worked, until I needed to find out for my younger girls. If you're a boy, British sex education just skips right past that stuff-. Or at least it did when I was in school."
"You..? Ah, you didn't get sex education from… On Apokolips?"
"Sort of. That was a five minute aside from my father's chief torturer during my physiology lectures."
Confirmed by the late and unlamented Father Box.
"I can't say it really stuck out? And that wouldn't have covered 'feminine hygiene' anyway; female New Gods can consciously control their fertility and so have no need for that sort of thing. But when I was growing up in Britain during my 'second childhood', I didn't remember any of that."
"A lot of American parents don't want schools to teach their children about sex in case it encourages them to become sexually active before they're ready to deal with the emotional and physical consequences. How do you feel about that?"
"Well… I'm…" I shrug. "Just used to it being part of the curriculum. And.. it certainly didn't make me sexually precocious. But that's a.. wider difference between Europe and America, you know; collective responsibility versus individual responsibility. In Europe it's considered completely natural to make sure that children get a basic education on how their bodies work in school, along with education on everything else. I think… Some parents withdrew their children from those particular lessons, but it was a pretty small number. But in America it's seen as a big deal… So… Fine; you're responsible for your own children. If you don't want to delegate that responsibility then it's your job as parents to make sure they have the information they need presented in the proper context. I don't have a problem with that, either, and like to think that I've discharged mine in a reasonably competent manner."
She nods. "I see. And what sort of age do you think a parent ought to explain things to their children?"
"The explanations children get for things get… More complex as they get older. But I'd say that the very basics of how the reproductive organs work, it probably makes sense to tell them that as early as possible. 'This is what your heart does, this is where poop comes from, this is what your genitals do.'"
"Ooh."
"Because that way you're not making it sound like it's a taboo subject. You're not drawing any particular emphasis to it, and at that sort of age they're not going to take in the details anyway. If it's not a taboo subject, not only will they not feel embarrassed about asking you questions, it won't be anything like as interesting."
She sits back in the chair.
"I.. think we're going to get some calls about this."
"Good show, but while I don't really have a problem giving the talk to… Just about anyone, I really think… Children, if you're listening? The best ports of call actually are your parents, not phoning a radio program. I know it's weird and awkward, but they've almost certainly been through whatever you're going through, but long enough ago that they've got some perspective on it."
"OkayIthinkthat'senoughonthattopic! Ah. Let's try something nice and uncontroversial, like gun control."
"Ah, alright? To the best of my knowledge, President Horne's position is that the Second Amendment is pretty clear on the subject, and the Federal Government shouldn't be infringing on people's right to bear arms."
"His.. voting record as a Senator and his speeches tell a rather different story."
"The fact that he personally doesn't like private gun ownership doesn't change his reading of the Constitution. It's like free speech: 'I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it'. He is very unlikely to spend any time while in office removing restrictions because he likes living in a country where those restrictions exist, but he isn't going to make more because he doesn't think he has the authority."
"Okay! Well, ah… This is Karolyn McDermott for DCNN, and we'll be… We'll be right back after these messages. … Probably."
07:31 GMT -6
"…President Horne getting a surprising degree of traction in Colorado."
"I…" I nod my head to the side. The gesture will be lost over the radio, but increasing numbers of people watch over the internet these days. "I think it's really more that… With me here… People are willing to look beyond their customary party loyalties and examine the actual content of his platform." I raise my hands. "Though I want to be clear-."
My interviewer raises her pencil-thin eyebrows sceptically. "You're not campaigning for the President."
"Just so. I-."
"Every time you get an interview and promote the President, you say you're not campaigning."
I shrug. "The President is what people ask me about. You can ask me about Senator N-."
"Senator Knight. Since you can't seem to remember his name from one interview to the next."
"I was going to say Senator Northrup Bristol…" I frown. "He's still in the running, isn't he?"
"He's still on the ballot paper, but he can't get enough delegates to win the nomination."
And she knows that I'm messing about. I nod to concede the point, and decide that it's time to retire that joke. Senator Bristol didn't have much of a following, even amongst the arch-conservatives who might be considered his natural followers, largely because he sounded dangerously close to wanting to give certain parts of his social ideals… An undue amount of legal authority. Fault-only divorce was one of his more sensible policies.
"You can ask me about my dealings with Senator Knight if you like, but it won't take very long."
"Okay then. What dealing have you had with Senator Knight?"
"Basically none." I shrug. "I arranged for his protection when Doctor Cochin tried to carry out his coup, and I've been on the periphery of a few discussions he and the President were part of, but that's about it. I don't think we've exchanged more than a dozen words. You see; I can only tell you about the interactions I've actually had with people, so anything I say on the subject is naturally going to focus on President Horne. But you can ask me about anything else."
"Alright then." She turns to the… Internet text-channel thing. "Have you got anything to say about rumours you're dating a horse?"
"No, no. Completely ridiculous."
"Because they've got pictu-."
"Princess Luna is a pony, not a horse. A horse would be taller. Also, she's from a parallel universe where ponies are intelligent. Really, it's no more weird than me dating a human would be. Also, she went from trying to stab me to dating me, a dramatic improvement on the order in my previous relationship."
Her expression suggests that she doesn't quite know how to take that. Jade's doing… I hesitate to call it 'good' work in Africa, but certainly 'productive' and 'beneficent'. Their politicians are mostly-. I should say, their surviving politicians are mostly honest, and we're making progress with their industry. The continent as a whole has never been more stable or principled and Lex is building so many spaceships without having to worry about first world spies.
"So.. I.. understand that you send your children to a public school."
I fro-. "Oh! Oh, sorry. Ah. In Britain a 'public' school is one you can attend regardless of where you live or what religion you practise. They're still private organisations, rather than public services." I nod. "Yes, all my children attend our local school. Since none of them had what you might call.. normal childhoods, I thought that improving their social skills and.. helping them make connections in the local community was the most important consideration."
"That implies you don't think very highly of the quality of the school's teaching."
"No, no, that's… I'm in the fortunate position to have good relations with the genomorphs. I employ a lot of them in Challenger Mountain and I've been involved in helping them find their feet in human society. So it really wasn't that difficult to have a lot of the purely rote learning stuff telepathically inserted into my children's minds. That's a service the genomorphs offer commercially, and since my younger children would have been so far behind their peers otherwise it seemed wise to avail ourselves of it."
"So between the genomorphs teaching them facts and the school teaching them how to use it, you've covered all of your bases."
I nod. "Nearly. I had to cover a couple of things myself. There aren't a lot of New Gods on Earth, so I had to teach Lynne the New God specific things myself. Likewise, my younger children have a tutor for their own arcane abilities. And since American schools are so reticent in that area, I had to cover sex education myself. Which was a little bit awkward, because I had no prior knowledge of how sanitary pads or.. tampons worked, until I needed to find out for my younger girls. If you're a boy, British sex education just skips right past that stuff-. Or at least it did when I was in school."
"You..? Ah, you didn't get sex education from… On Apokolips?"
"Sort of. That was a five minute aside from my father's chief torturer during my physiology lectures."
Confirmed by the late and unlamented Father Box.
"I can't say it really stuck out? And that wouldn't have covered 'feminine hygiene' anyway; female New Gods can consciously control their fertility and so have no need for that sort of thing. But when I was growing up in Britain during my 'second childhood', I didn't remember any of that."
"A lot of American parents don't want schools to teach their children about sex in case it encourages them to become sexually active before they're ready to deal with the emotional and physical consequences. How do you feel about that?"
"Well… I'm…" I shrug. "Just used to it being part of the curriculum. And.. it certainly didn't make me sexually precocious. But that's a.. wider difference between Europe and America, you know; collective responsibility versus individual responsibility. In Europe it's considered completely natural to make sure that children get a basic education on how their bodies work in school, along with education on everything else. I think… Some parents withdrew their children from those particular lessons, but it was a pretty small number. But in America it's seen as a big deal… So… Fine; you're responsible for your own children. If you don't want to delegate that responsibility then it's your job as parents to make sure they have the information they need presented in the proper context. I don't have a problem with that, either, and like to think that I've discharged mine in a reasonably competent manner."
She nods. "I see. And what sort of age do you think a parent ought to explain things to their children?"
"The explanations children get for things get… More complex as they get older. But I'd say that the very basics of how the reproductive organs work, it probably makes sense to tell them that as early as possible. 'This is what your heart does, this is where poop comes from, this is what your genitals do.'"
"Ooh."
"Because that way you're not making it sound like it's a taboo subject. You're not drawing any particular emphasis to it, and at that sort of age they're not going to take in the details anyway. If it's not a taboo subject, not only will they not feel embarrassed about asking you questions, it won't be anything like as interesting."
She sits back in the chair.
"I.. think we're going to get some calls about this."
"Good show, but while I don't really have a problem giving the talk to… Just about anyone, I really think… Children, if you're listening? The best ports of call actually are your parents, not phoning a radio program. I know it's weird and awkward, but they've almost certainly been through whatever you're going through, but long enough ago that they've got some perspective on it."
"OkayIthinkthat'senoughonthattopic! Ah. Let's try something nice and uncontroversial, like gun control."
"Ah, alright? To the best of my knowledge, President Horne's position is that the Second Amendment is pretty clear on the subject, and the Federal Government shouldn't be infringing on people's right to bear arms."
"His.. voting record as a Senator and his speeches tell a rather different story."
"The fact that he personally doesn't like private gun ownership doesn't change his reading of the Constitution. It's like free speech: 'I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it'. He is very unlikely to spend any time while in office removing restrictions because he likes living in a country where those restrictions exist, but he isn't going to make more because he doesn't think he has the authority."
"Okay! Well, ah… This is Karolyn McDermott for DCNN, and we'll be… We'll be right back after these messages. … Probably."
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