Fall Over (part 2)
Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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3rd July 2282
20:21 MTZ
Tibbets Prison. Unusually for the pre-War United States -and doubly so for anything related to Project Safehouse- it was a surprisingly moral institution, focusing on rehabilitating its inhabitants without torture or mind control or explosive neck braces. Really, the only thing dodgy about it is that some of the machinery was being field tested here and so wasn't completely reliable. Given that it was being field tested for the vaults, that means that it started breaking down after a mere century after the War rather than lasting until the present day. A lot of the people in the surrounding settlements can trace their ancestry back to prisoners who completed their sentences here and were released after the bombs fell.
And then that lunatic Victor Presper tried to trick the AI into wiping out most of the surviving American population, but he's been terminally dealt with now.
ODYSSEUS's programming won't let us do the sensible thing and turn the prison into a town, but it was the best prison in the former United States. ODYSSEUS has been perfectly happy to let WARDEN send prisoners here, and I've been able to convince President Kimball to send captured raiders this way rather than just shooting them. WARDEN has provided the resources to bring the place fully up to specification, and my specialists have been able to provide the design schematics necessary for ODYSSEUS to make improvements.
The… Stage area is a new development.
Why did she pick today? We have a war to fight tomorrow. And yes, I'm not personally needed-.
**Chief Krono!**
The slight tremor in the mental signal implies that someone's using a booster choir to reach me here in Colorado. I don't need one to reply, but that sort of a thing is a strain to everyone involved.
**Krono here.**
**Miss Vialla has been abducted by a giant robot!**
I watch as ARGOS pulls up-
THUD.
-alongside the new inmate walkway and open his hatches, Miss Vialla cautiously exiting the third opening.
**Yes, I know. I'm looking at both her and the robot now. She appears unharmed.**
**Her bodyguards have already informed President Vialla.**
**[Calm] Then they're doing their job. Please assure President Vialla that I have the matter in hand. It will not be necessary to assemble a rescue team.**
**Ahhhh…**
**Ahhhh?**
**According to the Brotherhood of Steel, the robot also abducted Elder Katherine Törni of the Alamo Chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel. They were pursuing it in vertibirds.**
Ah yes. There she is. I don't know.. why; the Alamo Brotherhood represent the worst tech-stealing head-in-the-sand aspects of the Brotherhood's character. I spoke to her exactly once when I was trying to rally support in Mexico and got precisely nowhere. Once I talked Santa Anna into focusing on developing Mexico into a beacon of success and so encourage Texans to want to be governed by him I rather stopped thinking about them.
**And he jumped on board and is heading this way?**
**Yes.**
I'm a.. little surprised that they let him, but I suppose that they needed a local guide.
President Nguyen looks my way as she heads cautiously down her wire-enfenced walkway, and I awkwardly wave. I think she knows who Elder Törni is, but I doubt that she'll recognise Miss Vialla. Ah, there's General Guerra. And… That's Veronica Santangelo. She's a lesbian. And married. Why did-?
Crazy robot is crazy. Right.
**Have we had any other reports of a giant robot abducting people?**
**No.**
**Okay. Thank you for warning me. I do not believe further action is necessary, but please contact me again in eight hours for confirmation.**
THUD.
Another woman, dressed in the loose fitting homespun clothes I'm most familiar with being worn by New Canaanites, combined with face paints of the sort usually worn by Ammonites, disembarks from ARGOS. I don't even know who she is.
**Yes Krono.**
I blink as I lose the connection, the women who Doki thinks are suitably armigerous reaching the end of their walkways and taking positions at their podiums, the small electronic scoreboards attached to the front displaying 00.
"Doki, who is that?"
"Tears-In-The-Rain! She is the eldest daughter of Chief Balm-Upon-Wounds of the Ammonites! Her father wanted his children to grow up in houses rather than tents, and she wants to carry on their ascent up the civilization tree! She matches you on the metrics of aspiration and hard work!"
Her avatar robot's head rotates towards me, left and right emoticon being left and right curling biceps while the central one is a grinning face.
"Are you interested?!"
"I just.. didn't recognise her."
THUD.
"That's an Assaultron."
"She's an Assaultron! Definitely feminine!"
In the sense that they have nuclear power plants in the upper torsos while the cheaper Protectrons have batteries mounted mid-torso, along with legs designed for powerful thrusts rather than the slow toddle that Protectrons do, resulting in 'breasts' and broader hips. Someone in RobCo -and according to him it wasn't Robert Edwin House- decided that the thing to do therefore was give them all female voices.
"Her name is KL dash E dash Zero, but she accepts Kleo, and she likes killing and tools for killing!"
One of which she has built into her face. Though she doesn't appear to be unduly troubled by her environment, even taking the time to stroke one of ARGOS's missile pods with her right claw-hand before progressing down the gantry.
"And how is she a match for me?"
"Your strongest social relationship is with Mister Goris! He is stronger and faster than you, providing you with constant high-quality protection! As your girlfriend, Kleo could do the same, in addition to being able to interface with pre-War systems and technology!"
…
Just go with it.
That appears to be all of the contestants… Not sure whether to be relieved or horrified.
"No Diana?"
The left emoticon is the tree symbol of Twin Mothers, Diana's tribe. Then come an 'X', and lastly an image of Tlaloc. These are then replaced by the dread letters: 'O' 'T' and 'P'.
"And how can I argue with that?"
I look up to where all of the women are at their podiums, looking either nervous (Veronica and Tears-In-The-Rain), blank (Kleo) or angry (the rest). Looking up a little further I see that the inmates have gathered at viewing galleries all around the courtyard, looking down on the show with the same bewilderment that I feel.
**Ladies, I'm very sorry about this.**
Doki marches towards the centre of the courtyard, half-dragging me behind her.
And those are television cameras why are there television came-?
"WELCOME, CONTESTANTS, TO 'THE WASTELAND'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR'!"
…
**I promise that this wasn't my idea.**
20:21 MTZ
Tibbets Prison. Unusually for the pre-War United States -and doubly so for anything related to Project Safehouse- it was a surprisingly moral institution, focusing on rehabilitating its inhabitants without torture or mind control or explosive neck braces. Really, the only thing dodgy about it is that some of the machinery was being field tested here and so wasn't completely reliable. Given that it was being field tested for the vaults, that means that it started breaking down after a mere century after the War rather than lasting until the present day. A lot of the people in the surrounding settlements can trace their ancestry back to prisoners who completed their sentences here and were released after the bombs fell.
And then that lunatic Victor Presper tried to trick the AI into wiping out most of the surviving American population, but he's been terminally dealt with now.
ODYSSEUS's programming won't let us do the sensible thing and turn the prison into a town, but it was the best prison in the former United States. ODYSSEUS has been perfectly happy to let WARDEN send prisoners here, and I've been able to convince President Kimball to send captured raiders this way rather than just shooting them. WARDEN has provided the resources to bring the place fully up to specification, and my specialists have been able to provide the design schematics necessary for ODYSSEUS to make improvements.
The… Stage area is a new development.
Why did she pick today? We have a war to fight tomorrow. And yes, I'm not personally needed-.
**Chief Krono!**
The slight tremor in the mental signal implies that someone's using a booster choir to reach me here in Colorado. I don't need one to reply, but that sort of a thing is a strain to everyone involved.
**Krono here.**
**Miss Vialla has been abducted by a giant robot!**
I watch as ARGOS pulls up-
THUD.
-alongside the new inmate walkway and open his hatches, Miss Vialla cautiously exiting the third opening.
**Yes, I know. I'm looking at both her and the robot now. She appears unharmed.**
**Her bodyguards have already informed President Vialla.**
**[Calm] Then they're doing their job. Please assure President Vialla that I have the matter in hand. It will not be necessary to assemble a rescue team.**
**Ahhhh…**
**Ahhhh?**
**According to the Brotherhood of Steel, the robot also abducted Elder Katherine Törni of the Alamo Chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel. They were pursuing it in vertibirds.**
Ah yes. There she is. I don't know.. why; the Alamo Brotherhood represent the worst tech-stealing head-in-the-sand aspects of the Brotherhood's character. I spoke to her exactly once when I was trying to rally support in Mexico and got precisely nowhere. Once I talked Santa Anna into focusing on developing Mexico into a beacon of success and so encourage Texans to want to be governed by him I rather stopped thinking about them.
**And he jumped on board and is heading this way?**
**Yes.**
I'm a.. little surprised that they let him, but I suppose that they needed a local guide.
President Nguyen looks my way as she heads cautiously down her wire-enfenced walkway, and I awkwardly wave. I think she knows who Elder Törni is, but I doubt that she'll recognise Miss Vialla. Ah, there's General Guerra. And… That's Veronica Santangelo. She's a lesbian. And married. Why did-?
Crazy robot is crazy. Right.
**Have we had any other reports of a giant robot abducting people?**
**No.**
**Okay. Thank you for warning me. I do not believe further action is necessary, but please contact me again in eight hours for confirmation.**
THUD.
Another woman, dressed in the loose fitting homespun clothes I'm most familiar with being worn by New Canaanites, combined with face paints of the sort usually worn by Ammonites, disembarks from ARGOS. I don't even know who she is.
**Yes Krono.**
I blink as I lose the connection, the women who Doki thinks are suitably armigerous reaching the end of their walkways and taking positions at their podiums, the small electronic scoreboards attached to the front displaying 00.
"Doki, who is that?"
"Tears-In-The-Rain! She is the eldest daughter of Chief Balm-Upon-Wounds of the Ammonites! Her father wanted his children to grow up in houses rather than tents, and she wants to carry on their ascent up the civilization tree! She matches you on the metrics of aspiration and hard work!"
Her avatar robot's head rotates towards me, left and right emoticon being left and right curling biceps while the central one is a grinning face.
"Are you interested?!"
"I just.. didn't recognise her."
THUD.
"That's an Assaultron."
"She's an Assaultron! Definitely feminine!"
In the sense that they have nuclear power plants in the upper torsos while the cheaper Protectrons have batteries mounted mid-torso, along with legs designed for powerful thrusts rather than the slow toddle that Protectrons do, resulting in 'breasts' and broader hips. Someone in RobCo -and according to him it wasn't Robert Edwin House- decided that the thing to do therefore was give them all female voices.
"Her name is KL dash E dash Zero, but she accepts Kleo, and she likes killing and tools for killing!"
One of which she has built into her face. Though she doesn't appear to be unduly troubled by her environment, even taking the time to stroke one of ARGOS's missile pods with her right claw-hand before progressing down the gantry.
"And how is she a match for me?"
"Your strongest social relationship is with Mister Goris! He is stronger and faster than you, providing you with constant high-quality protection! As your girlfriend, Kleo could do the same, in addition to being able to interface with pre-War systems and technology!"
…
Just go with it.
That appears to be all of the contestants… Not sure whether to be relieved or horrified.
"No Diana?"
The left emoticon is the tree symbol of Twin Mothers, Diana's tribe. Then come an 'X', and lastly an image of Tlaloc. These are then replaced by the dread letters: 'O' 'T' and 'P'.
"And how can I argue with that?"
I look up to where all of the women are at their podiums, looking either nervous (Veronica and Tears-In-The-Rain), blank (Kleo) or angry (the rest). Looking up a little further I see that the inmates have gathered at viewing galleries all around the courtyard, looking down on the show with the same bewilderment that I feel.
**Ladies, I'm very sorry about this.**
Doki marches towards the centre of the courtyard, half-dragging me behind her.
And those are television cameras why are there television came-?
"WELCOME, CONTESTANTS, TO 'THE WASTELAND'S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR'!"
…
**I promise that this wasn't my idea.**
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