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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Reader mode
I don't get why people are still arguing over this?

I mean Zoat doesn't give a shit about being reasonable with characters. All he wants to do is take a shit on MLP for the most part to try make himself aka Grayven look better.

I mean don't get me wrong it can be entertaining and it was more prevalent in the Paragon branch but I don't get why people thought he wouldn't shit on MLP when the opportunity presented itself. Well I take that back. I did have some hope at the start of the arc cause Grayven has been more fun but I can't say that I am surprised it turned to this. So if the author doesn't care why should you?
 
Apologies in advance, but I don't typically keep up on the weekends.

From Equestrian Girls part 8

Mr Zoat said:
Which means that this is still the first of April. So what I'm about to is completely in character.
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What I'm about to do, I'm guessing.

And part 9
Mr Zoat said:
I frown. "How to they do that? Wouldn't the cooks' special talents mean they.. just knew when they were doing that?"
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How do they do that?
 
Blackgutter said:
Out of curiosity, did Zoat say he wouldn't include the Spectre and Lucifer in this fanfic? I think he mentioned it a while ago.
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He has no plans to use either of them or at least he didn't, things may have changed but I doubt it.

The salty responses in this thread are a riot, of course Zoat is going to use his interpretation of the facts from Canon that is what happens with all fanfiction, you guys have been reading and enjoying his interpretation for years, there are things you will agree with and there are things you will disagree with. I remember the long rants in regards to Zoat butchering the characterization of Superman and the helmet lich and yet here you all are.

I think the HUGE problem was the time skip caused by the wasted updates on the fallout time line and whatever the other one was (already forgot) as that was when Grayven did the ground work for all that is happening now. Those updates are wasted space that should be replaced with the ground work Grayven did to get where he is now with the ponies. You guys are crying about your broken Sods because Zoat forgot to drop the breadcrumbs.
 
Chaoswind said:
I think the HUGE problem was the time skip caused by the wasted updates on the fallout time line and whatever the other one was (already forgot) as that was when Grayven did the ground work for all that is happening now. Those updates are wasted space that should be replaced with the ground work Grayven did to get where he is now with the ponies. You guys are crying about your broken Sods because Zoat forgot to drop the breadcrumbs.
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I could have done that, but the relevant content is 'the Renegade set these things up' and I was worried about bringing the story to a stop to have Grayven converse with a character whose sole purpose was to enable that. The only meaningful thing other than that I could put in would be avenues of attack the Renegade queried but ended up not using because he found that they wouldn't have worked.

If it helps, that is the last segment of the Renegade harassing the Bearers.
 
I think people are confusing bashfics with fixfics. With This Ring is a fixfic. It doesn't exist to mock and denigrate the original material. It exists because there are some interesting ideas in the original material that have some flaws in execution, and a writer with more patience and less editorial meddling can build a good story exploring the "what-if" scenario if those problems get addressed.

Along the way, fixfics do of course end up rubbing against the places where they diverge from the original material. When even a casual reader can identify the problems in the original, it can certainly come off like bashing. One big difference between the two types of fanfic, though, is that fixfics use an understanding of the source material that only comes from being closely familiar with it. You have to actually care about it in order to do a good job of fixing it.
 
Chaoswind said:
He has no plans to use either of them or at least he didn't, things may have changed but I doubt it.

The salty responses in this thread are a riot, of course Zoat is going to use his interpretation of the facts from Canon that is what happens with all fanfiction, you guys have been reading and enjoying his interpretation for years, there are things you will agree with and there are things you will disagree with. I remember the long rants in regards to Zoat butchering the characterization of Superman and the helmet lich and yet here you all are.

I think the HUGE problem was the time skip caused by the wasted updates on the fallout time line and whatever the other one was (already forgot) as that was when Grayven did the ground work for all that is happening now. Those updates are wasted space that should be replaced with the ground work Grayven did to get where he is now with the ponies. You guys are crying about your broken Sods because Zoat forgot to drop the breadcrumbs.
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I don't have much of a horse in this race (hah!) honestly. I do think that having the POV character interact with lawyers and government officials would have provided a very interesting view into this version of Equestria and would make the fait accompli we see here far less jarring both tonally and plotwise. It would have allowed more room to show (if indeed this is the case) that he is being affected more by the ALE fragment.

I am likewise happy to see the utopian world of MLP thrown into chaos by a competent villain and the appearance of consequences that the bearers have previously shirked. The problem I have is with potentially sloppy worldbuilding, if Celestia is so evil how come there is Child Protective Services? If she is so dumb how come nobody has relegated her to figurehead? Is everyone dumb or do they live in fear of disturbing her nepotism so thats why Twilight and the others have no consequences?

I hope the story provides interesting answers but I fear that we only have one arc dealing with this world and thusly most answers will not manifest or will be unsatisfactory.

It goes without saying that the only reason anyone is here to critique your work is because they like it. You have added a level of realism and consequence to the backbone of the DC universe hopefully you can be as successful with something more outlandish here in a much shorter number of words.

Best of luck Zoat!
 
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Mr Zoat said:
I could have done that, but the relevant content is 'the Renegade set these things up' and I was worried about bringing the story to a stop to have Grayven converse with a character whose sole purpose was to enable that. The only meaningful thing other than that I could put in would be avenues of attack the Renegade queried but ended up not using because he found that they wouldn't have worked.

If it helps, that is the last segment of the Renegade harassing the Bearers.
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*sad sadist noises*
 
Mr Zoat said:
I could have done that, but the relevant content is 'the Renegade set these things up' and I was worried about bringing the story to a stop to have Grayven converse with a character whose sole purpose was to enable that. The only meaningful thing other than that I could put in would be avenues of attack the Renegade queried but ended up not using because he found that they wouldn't have worked.

If it helps, that is the last segment of the Renegade harassing the Bearers.
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It's starting to get to "The Rise of Darth Vulcan" stuff...
 
Enochi said:
Nah Rise of Darth Vulcan is MUCH better then this. This is pretty much the dollar store knock off version.
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The levels of bile fascination you must have for this piece of fiction are astonishing.

Like, I haven't bothered to read a single one of the pony focused posts, because I just don't care.

But like, everything Zoat does seem to horrify and disgust you. I mean, the Nazi shit pissed me off, but that was just the in universe stuff. I don't, you know, actually pile that upon Zoat himself.

But you, every post I ever see boils down to you going "Zoat, you piece of shit, look what you did. I had hope that you weren't shit, but you're just shit. God damn this shitty shit is just so shitty. Okay see ya next time."
 
Maxx Crowley said:
The levels of bile fascination you must have for this piece of fiction are astonishing.

Like, I haven't bothered to read a single one of the pony focused posts, because I just don't care.

But like, everything Zoat does seem to horrify and disgust you. I mean, the Nazi shit pissed me off, but that was just the in universe stuff. I don't, you know, actually pile that upon Zoat himself.

But you, every post I ever see boils down to you going "Zoat, you piece of shit, look what you did. I had hope that you weren't shit, but you're just shit. God damn this shitty shit is just so shitty. Okay see ya next time."
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Shrug. Zoat's stuff has potential and sometimes even reaches it. His knowledge of DC is vast and impressive. The regularity of his updates amaze me and are worthy of great respect. But at its core it just seems to not measure up to other stories. If I want a villain/asshole protagonist well The Rise of Darth Vulcan is hard to beat. Rhjunior when not on a political tangent is probably one of the top 5 fanfic writers out there. Honestly I tend to prefer his recursive fanfiction over the originals. If I want an SI story well This bites is pretty unbeatable in that regard. The cross brain is slow to churn out their product but when they do it comes out in monster sizes and with many surprises.

Zoat's stuff I mainly keep up with because it is so regular. I know its something I can read everyday even if its not the best and rates only "fair" it is consistent. Maybe i'm just jaded but it seems it edges closer to Perfect Lionheart's stuff more and more rather then improving.

I guess you could compare it to Family guy or the Simpsons? Something that has been running forever and is probably past its primes but occasionally has a spark that truly grabs your attention.
 
Earth's Orangest Hero
  • Threadmarks
    • 5th March
    14:36 GMT -5
    Earth 8096

    Anthony scowls at me as I chivvy my team mates out. "You know, this is technically my house. And by 'technically' I mean 'I literally own it'."

    "And I'll let you all back in just as soon as you're wearing-" I pat Anthony's power armour with my left hand and give Thor a slightly harder glare than he really deserves. "-normal clothes, and I've made sure that he's well enough to do anything."

    Janet shrinks and flies up so that she can look at the now-defrosted Steven Rogers over my shoulder. "He looks fine to me."

    "He's been frozen in a block of ice for over sixty years, Janet. I'll be impressed if he's not a vegetable. Please?"

    "Hmh." She folds her arms across her chest as Anthony and Thor give up and head down the corridor towards their rooms. I raise my left hand and generate a fly swatter construct. Her eyes widen. "You wouldn't."

    "I'd feel bad about it, but if I thought your presence was a risk to my patient's wellbeing, I would."

    "Okay, fine!" She turns away, reverting to normal size as she stalks down the corridor with fists clenched. "Jerk!"

    And we're good. I step back into the mansion's sick bay and close the door. Then I lock it before turning around to look down at Captain America.

    Ring, status?

    Orange light plays over his body and then cuts out.

    Subject is in good physical condition. Mild bruising. Acceptable fat reserves. No muscle wastage. No detectable damage to internal organs. Upon the basis of available evidence-.

    It wasn't hibernation, because if he was hibernating he'd be… Thin as a rake. At best.

    Based on normal hibernation energy consumption, he would be dead.

    While in reality, he's already breathing unaided. His body was the temperature of the ice surrounding it when we dug him out, but ever since we did he's been steadily warming up. He's nearly up to the body temperature of a-

    "Mrrhki."

    -healthy human-.

    I shove my left hand into the pocket of my lab coat as Captain America's eyes flutter open.

    "Captain?"

    He jerks upright. "Bucky!" He tries to push himself off his bed, his legs getting momentarily tangled in the sheets before he regains enough motor control to just rip them apart. As he comes to his feet his eyes scour the room, noting and then apparently dismissing me as he searches for-.

    Ah. His shield. Which is in the armoury two floors away. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

    I use my thumb to slip the power ring off my left ring finger and then hold both arms out towards him, empty hands clearly on display. "Mister Rogers. Can you understand what I'm saying?"

    Two feet firmly planted on the ground, right shoulder slightly forward, enough power in a jab to give me a skull fracture. Right.

    "Who are you? Where am I? Where's Bucky?"

    "Mister Rogers, I'm not going to tell you anything until I'm certain that you're well. If you're not going to lie down would you at least sit down?"

    His eyes narrow slightly. "You're a doctor?"

    "A nurse, actually." Sort of. I rushed the theoretical parts of the job by ring download and don't have anything like enough practical experience a fully qualified nurse would have. But I'm pretty sure that I could have qualified in the forties. "And it's my job to make sure that tomorrow we can announce to the nation that Captain America is alive and well and not that he had a heart attack and died because we fouled up his care." I smile, then gesture at the bed with both hands. "Please?"

    He regards me cautiously for a moment before scanning the room again. Without ripping out large amounts of equipment I couldn't really make it look like it was from the forties, but I at least got rid of the worst offenders. Nothing.. appears to set him off. He takes a deep breath and then relaxes his muscles a little.

    "Is this.. England?"

    "No. New York, actually. Please-" I take a small torch out of my right pocket. "-sit down and save your questions until after I've given you a once-over?"

    He hesitates, then reluctantly nods, lowering himself back onto the mess of sheets. "You know I can't get sick, right?"

    "Given what you went through, we don't want to take any chances." I walk closer. "Head back a little?" He complies, and I shine the torch directly into his right eye. Pupil reaction normal, and I already know that his optic nerve is fine. I switch to the left. Normal there too. I take a step back and turn off the torch before returning it to my pocket. "Please tell me your full name."

    He frowns slightly, but obliges me anyway. "Steven Rogers."

    "Your parents' names?"

    "Joseph Harvey Rogers and Sarah Alicia Rogers."

    I raise my right fist, sticking out my forefinger. "Please follow this?" I move it right, up, down and left, then in a figure of eight. His eyes track it with no difficulty. I return it to my right pocket, pull out a lollypop and toss it to him. His right arm blurs as he grabs it out of the air, and for a moment I think he's about to launch himself at me.

    Then he opens his hand and realises what it is. "A lollipop?"

    I shrug. "You're being a good boy. With reflexes like that, have you ever considered a career in cricket?"

    "A-heh." He makes a sort of cough-laugh sound, though his eyes never leave my face. "I think Uncle Sam's going to have first call on my time. Are you going to answer my questions now?"

    "Ah… Yes, and as far as I can tell you're in good health. I was…" I glance at the door. "Rather hoping that one of the members of your squad would be here for this bit, but… I'll do my best. Please understand that you may have questions I'm.. not supposed to answer at this time."

    "Alright. Where am I?"

    "New York. Eight hundred and ninety, fifth avenue, to be precise."

    "What the heck-" He starts to stand. "-am I-" I make a motion with my hands like I'm about to try pushing him back down, and he relents. "-doing back home? There is a war on."

    "Mister Rogers, what's the last thing you remember?"

    His face hardens. "My missions are classified."

    Ah… Yes, that's something a HYDRA operative might ask. I don't want this to turn out like the Ultimates. "Mister Rogers, part of my job is to assess your mental state. I've read the files. I know that your previous mission involved an attack on a HYDRA base commanded by Johann Schmidt, where he was attempting to create a portal to Asgard. I'm asking you to tell me because I want to check your short term memory."

    He nods, still a little suspicious. "We took the castle. Schmidt tried to run in some kind of rocket plane. Bucky and I-." He stops, and for a moment I think he's about to ask again. "We climbed on board. Schmidt hit the eject and rigged the plane to explode. There wasn't a second parachute, so I told Bucky to jump but-. The entry ladder got twisted around his leg. I tried to free him but he-. I lost my grip. I fell into the water, and… Then I woke up here."

    I nod. "That's.. all correct, as far as I know. I'll have to assume that you are compos mentis. Mister Rogers-."

    "It's Captain Rogers."

    "Ah… Actually, it isn't. While you were… Ah, missing in action… You were promoted."

    "Major Rogers, then. I'm not usually a stickler for protocol, but-."

    "General Rogers, actually. But since you insist, General, as far as we can tell, after you entered the water your body… Entered a form of suspended animation."

    He frowns. "Like hibernation?"

    "No, it's more than that. I'm.. sure that Doctor Erskine would have understood it better than I do. You were… Frozen. And.. now you're.. not. And everything I can see tells me that you're exactly as you were when you went into the ocean. Which is pretty darn amazing."

    "Bucky, did he make it too?"

    "We.. don't know. I.. don't want you to get your hopes up, but… We didn't think we'd get you back either. We've got some people looking." I shrug. "As soon as we know anything…"

    He nods. "If you're not rushing me back to the front… Is the war.. over?"

    "Yes. Ah. It's actually been over for.. some time. This is.. a bit that I think it's going to be hard for you to accept, and I.. really wanted someone you knew to be here so they could tell you. Ah-."

    "Who'd you call in?"

    "James Howlett."

    "Logan?" General Rogers frowns, but there's a small smile at the point of familiarity. "What's he doing in New York? I thought he'd go right back to the Yukon."

    "I believe that he did immediately after the war, but he works as a school teacher in Westchester County these days."

    "So it's… Nineteen forty five?" He sees my face. "Forty six? I was out that long?"

    "Ah." I take a step back. "I really think it would be best for you to hear this from Mister Howlett. But if you're not willing to wait..?" He gives his head a small shake. "You've been through a rough time and you're in an unfamiliar environment. I'll tell you, but I need you to promise me first that you're not going to dive through the window."

    "Why would I dive through the window?"

    "Because it's going to be a shock and your initial impulse is going to be to disbelieve me, which is why I wanted to wait until someone you trust would be here."

    He turns his head to look at the window.

    And he stares at it for a little too long.

    "Alright. I swear that I won't dive out the window when you tell me."

    "You experienced no physical change for the whole time you were frozen. I'm not sure you couldn't have been in there indefinitely. So I.. suppose that we're lucky it was only sixty five years."

    "Sixty f-?" He blinks, staring at me in a mix of fear and disbelief. "Sixty five years?"

    "It's the fifth of March, twenty ten. Welcome to the future." My eyes dip to the floor for a moment. "I'm very sorry."
     
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  • Threadmarks
    • Queshire said:
    Is this from a particular version of Marvel or just one in general?
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    The way he treats "Anthony" makes me think this is a teen version of the Avengers?

    With him being the team dad :D

    Trying to get Clint out of the ceiling vents, making sure Natasha gets to dance class, trying to make Thor eat his cereals without smashing the bowl, doing father-son bonding activities with an insecure Tony...
     
    Zoat what would this version of Paul do to help the villains rehabilitate?

    For the heroes i think there was that one that had his medical discoveries ignored because the company wanted to keep selling less effective means which led to his brother dying and him becoming a vigilante.
     
    He used a Norn stone to access the plane of avarice and later, either during the fight with Loki or maybe before that he had some accident that sent him to Hel and she made him a power regulator so that he doesn't spill any of the avarice energy.
     
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