Chapter 143
Charles Flynn
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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"Charlie, thank you for coming," Roman says as I step into his office.
"Pleasure's all mine," I assure him with a grin. "So, why did you call me here before the meeting?"
He seems to be thinking over how to best answer that, as I settle into a chair opposite his.
"Let's not get to the meat of the matter just yet," he says, after his deliberations come to a close. "So, tell me, how have things been going? How's life been treating you?"
"Good."
He waits for me to follow up on that, and then looks disappointed in me when I don't. "That's it?"
"I mean, unless you count the Singularity Hunt, everything's just been, well, routine." And even the Singularity Hunt has been its own flavor of boring, if you think about it. Grabbing Grails from Singularities that've already been taken care of, for the most part, is incredibly easy work. Ultimately, it's just… routine. I'm good with routine. Much less good with risks.
"What about life in Chaldea? Anything interesting to report there?" He's staring to take on the tone that my old therapist would have when I was being a bit too blasé. I suppose I could run through things, see if I have any real issues.
"Well… hm. The Pathfinder game is still going strong, but you already knew that."
"I'm well aware."
"You finished rerolling yet?"
"Yes, you freaking psycho."
"Cool. My lessons with Medea are progressing nicely as well, she actually showed me a few new poisons we could use to execute Mata Hari the next time she crosses the line." I initially thought that Servants were immune to poisons. My teacher has taken great delight in showing me just how wrong I was.
"Ah." Roman looks slightly disapproving. "Are you still insisting on having her followed?"
"Yes. No point in giving her an opportunity to betray us again."
"Do you feel like that's a bit… well, paranoid?"
"Not particularly, why do you ask?"
"No reason. So, any other notable events?"
"I mean, aside from that, it's just checking up on Servants."
"And how's that going?"
"Well, the Berserker Lounge," formerly the Admin Break Room, "is still under control. Everyone's content, and none of them are on the verge of doing something destructive. I've also been checking in with the Chul Kids, seeing as they're one of my early warning systems. They're doing fine."
"Have they figured out if one of them is the father yet?"
"No, actually. They're going to wait until the kid comes out before they start looking for who his father is. If it's got blue hair, then it's probably theirs."
"And they… can't be specific as to which version is the father?"
"I actually asked them about it. Turns out that Sarah slept with all of them during the estimated time of conception. Sometimes with more than one at the same time." And apparently, she's not the only woman in Chaldea who's done that. Looking my female coworkers in the eye is going to be so much harder after this. Repressrepressrepreeeeeeeeeeeess…. aaaaaaaaaaand… we're good.
"Well, um," Roman looks downright flabbergasted. "I suppose if they're consenting adults, then it's really none of our business."
"Yep."
"So, anything else interesting going on in your life?" Roman asks.
"Well, I did set up a swimsuit calendar."
He raises an eyebrow. "Really? And what brought this on?"
"Well, after Blackbeard died a month and a half ago, in what was perhaps the most hilarious example of natural selection I've ever seen…"
"I still don't know why he thought stealing Serenity's underwear was a good idea," Roman mutters.
"Me and Mash had to go through his effects, after that, and we found that he was trying to put together a swimsuit calendar. Anyways, I was bored, and I thought, hey, maybe if this was official, and done with the models fully informed and agreeing to it, then it'd be a halfway decent way to improve morale. So, yeah. We're working on it. We're producing three, actually. One all-female, one all-male, and one mixed for those bisexuals among us."
"Really?" Roman asks, sounding more amused than anything else. "Any other entertainment products in the works that I'm in the dark about?"
"Well Shakespeare's play is going through production well enough. He's got Anderson co-writing, and he just finished up writing Galahad out of the play and giving his old scenes to Mash."
"What?" Roman asks incredulously. "How are you okay with this? I thought you and Galahad were friends!"
"We are. They're writing him out at his request. According to him, Mash deserves to be remembered as a hero far more than he does."
"That's…" Roman looks stunned.
"Yeah. He's really not that bad a guy once you really get to know him, is he?"
"I… I suppose so." He pulls himself together. "Anything else to report?"
I… do I tell him? Do I tell him what I'm planning?
No. But I can lay seeds for future threats.
"I've been having some concerns, actually."
"Do tell."
"From what I've read of the Association's records, and our own bylaws, I'm pretty sure that they'll try to shut us down, if we save the world."
"They'd be in the right to do so," Roman says gently, prompting an ugly snort from me before I can stop myself.
"Yeah, I think that using the words 'in the right' and 'the Mages' Association' in the same sentence counts as an oxymoron." I pull myself back on track. "Look, I've been thinking of the superhero paradox a bit, lately. Do the threats all appear there, in that one city, because the superhero is there? Or is the superhero there simply because there will be threats."
"And you're saying Chaldea is the superhero in this analogy of yours."
"Yeah. And call me stupid, but… well, I'm afraid. I'm utterly terrified that, even if we save the world this time, it'll happen again, and next time it'll stick, because the Association tore us apart in fits of petty jealousy and hidebound foolishness."
"Even you have to admit that the complete and utter destruction of humanity is an event unlikely to be repeated."
"I remember that Terry Pratchett once wrote something about climbing mountains. About how everything is easier once you've done it at least once. A tall, treacherous peak would take multiple teams of daring mountaineers countless tries to reach its peak, and then, a few generations later, little old grannies would be heading up to its summit for their morning constitutionals. What if… what if destroying humanity is like that?"
"Now you're grasping at straws." Roman places a hand on my shoulder. "So, why are you telling me this?"
"I just… I don't want these fears of mine to die with me, if I don't make it to the end," I look him dead in the eyes. "So, promise me, all right? Promise me that, if I don't make it, you won't let the Association take Chaldea apart?"
"Flynn," Roman looks me in the eye, and then sighs in defeat. "I promise."
"Thank you."
"Right, then." He looks slightly embarrassed all of a sudden. "Gah, now I feel like an ass for having to bring up what I originally called you here to discuss."
"Lay it on me. I promise I won't get mad."
"I've been getting some complaints about you basically turning Chaldea into a police state."
"What? That's ridiculous!"
"What did Marjani eat for breakfast this morning?"
"Her usual fare is scrambled eggs and bacon, but I can check to confirm, if you want," I say automatically, before realizing what I just said. "So… okay. I might have accidentally turned Chaldea into a police state."
"How many people's usual breakfasts have you memorized?"
"All of them. Medea beat it into my head that you always have to pay attention to people's diets so you know where to put the poison." I blink. "I'm really not helping my case there, am I?"
"Yeah, no." Roman gives me a stern look. "I'm not asking you to drop your monitoring entirely. God knows we do need someone that knows what's going on in Chaldea. But please, try not to make it so invasive? And leave the human staff out of it?"
"All right." It's not a hard concession, really. Honestly, half the reason I set up the network in the first place was because I was having trouble keeping track of all the names and faces. "Anything else?"
"Nothing that we won't be addressing in the general meeting, at least."
And with that, we head off towards the meeting room.
"Ladies, gentlemen," Roman says as he calls the meeting to order. "Thank you for coming. Da Vinci and I have an announcement to make."
"You're tying the knot?" I ask teasingly, which gets a laugh out of the table, and an indignant splutter out of Roman.
"W-What, NO! Well, I mean, eventually, maybe, but now's not the- You know what? I'm just going to keep going. We've finally upgraded Chaldea's mana generators to the point where we can see into the Age of the Gods."
I… I feel a grin start to make its way across my face. "So, you mean to say that…"
"We've found the true Seventh Singularity," Roman confirms, a holographic representation of Chaldeas activating on the table. "It's located in the year 2655 BC, in Mesopotamia." He looks around the table. "We're deploying in two days. Take that time to prepare yourself as much as you can, because this is going to be the hardest Singularity yet."
The endgame is in sight. The final act is beginning.
And I can hardly wait.
"Pleasure's all mine," I assure him with a grin. "So, why did you call me here before the meeting?"
He seems to be thinking over how to best answer that, as I settle into a chair opposite his.
"Let's not get to the meat of the matter just yet," he says, after his deliberations come to a close. "So, tell me, how have things been going? How's life been treating you?"
"Good."
He waits for me to follow up on that, and then looks disappointed in me when I don't. "That's it?"
"I mean, unless you count the Singularity Hunt, everything's just been, well, routine." And even the Singularity Hunt has been its own flavor of boring, if you think about it. Grabbing Grails from Singularities that've already been taken care of, for the most part, is incredibly easy work. Ultimately, it's just… routine. I'm good with routine. Much less good with risks.
"What about life in Chaldea? Anything interesting to report there?" He's staring to take on the tone that my old therapist would have when I was being a bit too blasé. I suppose I could run through things, see if I have any real issues.
"Well… hm. The Pathfinder game is still going strong, but you already knew that."
"I'm well aware."
"You finished rerolling yet?"
"Yes, you freaking psycho."
"Cool. My lessons with Medea are progressing nicely as well, she actually showed me a few new poisons we could use to execute Mata Hari the next time she crosses the line." I initially thought that Servants were immune to poisons. My teacher has taken great delight in showing me just how wrong I was.
"Ah." Roman looks slightly disapproving. "Are you still insisting on having her followed?"
"Yes. No point in giving her an opportunity to betray us again."
"Do you feel like that's a bit… well, paranoid?"
"Not particularly, why do you ask?"
"No reason. So, any other notable events?"
"I mean, aside from that, it's just checking up on Servants."
"And how's that going?"
"Well, the Berserker Lounge," formerly the Admin Break Room, "is still under control. Everyone's content, and none of them are on the verge of doing something destructive. I've also been checking in with the Chul Kids, seeing as they're one of my early warning systems. They're doing fine."
"Have they figured out if one of them is the father yet?"
"No, actually. They're going to wait until the kid comes out before they start looking for who his father is. If it's got blue hair, then it's probably theirs."
"And they… can't be specific as to which version is the father?"
"I actually asked them about it. Turns out that Sarah slept with all of them during the estimated time of conception. Sometimes with more than one at the same time." And apparently, she's not the only woman in Chaldea who's done that. Looking my female coworkers in the eye is going to be so much harder after this. Repressrepressrepreeeeeeeeeeeess…. aaaaaaaaaaand… we're good.
"Well, um," Roman looks downright flabbergasted. "I suppose if they're consenting adults, then it's really none of our business."
"Yep."
"So, anything else interesting going on in your life?" Roman asks.
"Well, I did set up a swimsuit calendar."
He raises an eyebrow. "Really? And what brought this on?"
"Well, after Blackbeard died a month and a half ago, in what was perhaps the most hilarious example of natural selection I've ever seen…"
"I still don't know why he thought stealing Serenity's underwear was a good idea," Roman mutters.
"Me and Mash had to go through his effects, after that, and we found that he was trying to put together a swimsuit calendar. Anyways, I was bored, and I thought, hey, maybe if this was official, and done with the models fully informed and agreeing to it, then it'd be a halfway decent way to improve morale. So, yeah. We're working on it. We're producing three, actually. One all-female, one all-male, and one mixed for those bisexuals among us."
"Really?" Roman asks, sounding more amused than anything else. "Any other entertainment products in the works that I'm in the dark about?"
"Well Shakespeare's play is going through production well enough. He's got Anderson co-writing, and he just finished up writing Galahad out of the play and giving his old scenes to Mash."
"What?" Roman asks incredulously. "How are you okay with this? I thought you and Galahad were friends!"
"We are. They're writing him out at his request. According to him, Mash deserves to be remembered as a hero far more than he does."
"That's…" Roman looks stunned.
"Yeah. He's really not that bad a guy once you really get to know him, is he?"
"I… I suppose so." He pulls himself together. "Anything else to report?"
I… do I tell him? Do I tell him what I'm planning?
No. But I can lay seeds for future threats.
"I've been having some concerns, actually."
"Do tell."
"From what I've read of the Association's records, and our own bylaws, I'm pretty sure that they'll try to shut us down, if we save the world."
"They'd be in the right to do so," Roman says gently, prompting an ugly snort from me before I can stop myself.
"Yeah, I think that using the words 'in the right' and 'the Mages' Association' in the same sentence counts as an oxymoron." I pull myself back on track. "Look, I've been thinking of the superhero paradox a bit, lately. Do the threats all appear there, in that one city, because the superhero is there? Or is the superhero there simply because there will be threats."
"And you're saying Chaldea is the superhero in this analogy of yours."
"Yeah. And call me stupid, but… well, I'm afraid. I'm utterly terrified that, even if we save the world this time, it'll happen again, and next time it'll stick, because the Association tore us apart in fits of petty jealousy and hidebound foolishness."
"Even you have to admit that the complete and utter destruction of humanity is an event unlikely to be repeated."
"I remember that Terry Pratchett once wrote something about climbing mountains. About how everything is easier once you've done it at least once. A tall, treacherous peak would take multiple teams of daring mountaineers countless tries to reach its peak, and then, a few generations later, little old grannies would be heading up to its summit for their morning constitutionals. What if… what if destroying humanity is like that?"
"Now you're grasping at straws." Roman places a hand on my shoulder. "So, why are you telling me this?"
"I just… I don't want these fears of mine to die with me, if I don't make it to the end," I look him dead in the eyes. "So, promise me, all right? Promise me that, if I don't make it, you won't let the Association take Chaldea apart?"
"Flynn," Roman looks me in the eye, and then sighs in defeat. "I promise."
"Thank you."
"Right, then." He looks slightly embarrassed all of a sudden. "Gah, now I feel like an ass for having to bring up what I originally called you here to discuss."
"Lay it on me. I promise I won't get mad."
"I've been getting some complaints about you basically turning Chaldea into a police state."
"What? That's ridiculous!"
"What did Marjani eat for breakfast this morning?"
"Her usual fare is scrambled eggs and bacon, but I can check to confirm, if you want," I say automatically, before realizing what I just said. "So… okay. I might have accidentally turned Chaldea into a police state."
"How many people's usual breakfasts have you memorized?"
"All of them. Medea beat it into my head that you always have to pay attention to people's diets so you know where to put the poison." I blink. "I'm really not helping my case there, am I?"
"Yeah, no." Roman gives me a stern look. "I'm not asking you to drop your monitoring entirely. God knows we do need someone that knows what's going on in Chaldea. But please, try not to make it so invasive? And leave the human staff out of it?"
"All right." It's not a hard concession, really. Honestly, half the reason I set up the network in the first place was because I was having trouble keeping track of all the names and faces. "Anything else?"
"Nothing that we won't be addressing in the general meeting, at least."
And with that, we head off towards the meeting room.
---
"Ladies, gentlemen," Roman says as he calls the meeting to order. "Thank you for coming. Da Vinci and I have an announcement to make."
"You're tying the knot?" I ask teasingly, which gets a laugh out of the table, and an indignant splutter out of Roman.
"W-What, NO! Well, I mean, eventually, maybe, but now's not the- You know what? I'm just going to keep going. We've finally upgraded Chaldea's mana generators to the point where we can see into the Age of the Gods."
I… I feel a grin start to make its way across my face. "So, you mean to say that…"
"We've found the true Seventh Singularity," Roman confirms, a holographic representation of Chaldeas activating on the table. "It's located in the year 2655 BC, in Mesopotamia." He looks around the table. "We're deploying in two days. Take that time to prepare yourself as much as you can, because this is going to be the hardest Singularity yet."
The endgame is in sight. The final act is beginning.
And I can hardly wait.