OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Itou Makoto.

"A girl?!" Taisuke screamed. "You're a girl?!"

Makoto sulked, pulling her torn shirt back to cover her chest bindings. "I'm a woman and let's leave it at that..."

"Ah-ha!" Chamo proclaimed triumphally. "I knew it!"

Otome blinked at him. "Did this thing just speak, or are you guys ventriloquists as well?"

Misa facepalmed. "Taisuke, you shameless fiend! You mean to tell me roomed with this... skank for years and you never noticed she wasn't a guy?!"

"I'm serious, I didn't!" Taisuke swore. "How could I?! It's not like I've ever liked bathing with guys!"

"Then you're an idiot!" Misa screeched. "That's not the only way to notice your roommate is a girl!"

"It took you three weeks after we first met to accept I was a girl," Kugimiya reminded her.

"Not now, Madoka!"

Chisame looked at Otome. "You knew?"

Otome huffed. "Well, of course I knew! I've been her friend since we were children! I helped her to keep the secret since her father is a monstrous sex freak! That was the only way to keep her safe from him! By the way, answer my question already!"

Negi blinked. "Is that true, Itou-san?"

Makoto groaned and dragged a foot along, avoiding his gaze. "Hrrghhhh."

Kotonoha looked at Sekai. "I'm confused."

"So am I," Sekai admitted, biting her lower lip and crossing her legs.

"No, not just like that," Kotonoha said. "I mean, do I still have a reason to stab you to death, or not?"

Sekai backed off very quickly.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Saotome Ranma.

Haruna winced. "Geez, Oniichan, that's so hot, I mean awful. So… how do you change back? You got cursed by that cold water, so… hot water undoes it, then?"

"Hot water? I wish!" the redhead cried. "Haruna, it's a curse, it's supposed to be permanent! Why in the world would anyone put an on-off switch on a course!"

Haruna blinked. "I see… Well, why didn't you just jump into a Spring of Drowned Man while you were there? There must be at least one, right?"

"There are," Ranma grumbled, "but the guide explained the curses don't cancel each other, they combine. So if I did that, I'd have become a woman with a penis, and why would I want to turn into even more of a freak?! So I had to come back and see if I could find myself a Japanese mystic that could undo, I mean, see my dear little sister again before searching for a mystic to undo this damn thing somewhere!"

"I… I don't think there's anything like that around here, I'm afraid…" a concerned Haruna mused aloud.

Chisame whistled innocently, looking aside.

"Wait," Haruna said then, "in that case, what did happen to Daddy?!"

Ranma pulled out a postcard, and Chisame and Haruna leaned ahead to look at it. "All giant pandas in the world, the authorities told us at gunpoint, are the property of the Chinese government."

"Where is that?" Haruna asked.

"He was given on loan to the Bronx Zoo," Ranma said.

Haruna smiled. "Ah, lucky dog! I've always wished to visit America, and he got to live there for free…!"

---

Saotome Nodoka.

The older woman smiled, brushing her fingers through the hair of her new shota lover. "I hope we have a son, it's never too late to fulfill a dream!" she cooed. "Genma and I always wanted to have one who would be a man amongst men, but, well, you know…!"

"I CAN HEAR YOU CLEARLY AT THIS DISTANCE, MOM!" Ranma shouted angrily from the next room.

 

[OverMaster]

Let's be Seasonable.

"Duck season!" Bugs said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

"Duck season!" Bugs said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

"Rabbit season!" Bugs said.

Elmer aimed his shotgun at Bugs' face and blew it off.

Bugs stood there, completely stunned, for several moments before patting his face back into shape. "Why did you do that?!" he screamed at Elmer.

The hunter blinked. "But... you said it's wabbit sweason..."

"Yes, but--!"

Elmer shot his face off again.

Daffy broke into sudden hysterical laughter as Bugs recomposed himself a second time. "Lemme finish, Doc! Yes, I said that, but just so he would say Duck season, and then you'd shoot him!"

Elmer raised an eyebrow. "What? If it's wabbit sweason, why would he say it's duck sweason?"

"It's not!" Bugs growled. "It's just that, when I say it's rabbit season, then he--!"

Elmer blasted him a third time.

Daffy rolled across the ground in laughter, holding his stomach. Bugs angrily massaged his own face back to what it was. "Why'd you do that..."

"You said it awain, it's wabbit sweason," Elmer reasoned.

"I said it right after I said it's not!"

"Well, maybe it just wecame that sweason while you were swaying it?" the human shrugged.

"No, no, no!" Bugs stomped his foot down. "That's not how it works! Daffy, get up and c'me here. Let's start again. What season is it?"

"Rabbit season!" Daffy guffawed, wiping a tear off his eye.

"Right! Rabbit s-- No, wait, let's start that ag--" Bugs said, but not before Elmer could shoot him.

Elmer sighed and reloaded his gun while Bugs picked his own pieces back up. "Okay, Doc," the bunny said, once he'd completed himself. "I see what's going on here, now. We've finally overdone that gag by now, ain't we? That's fine, let's just move on. Not like I'm an one trick pony, after all."

"Of course not," Daffy said. "You aren't a pony, are ya?"

"No, I'm a rabbit," Bugs said proudly, straightening himself. "And I'm not gonna be tricked into saying it's that season!"

"Which season?" Daffy asked innocently.

"Why, rabbit season, natcher--"

BOUUMM!

Daffy smiled at Elmer and patted his shoulder. "You know what, Chrome Dome? I think," he confided him, "this is my new favorite cartoon ever!"

"Eh he he he," Elmer laughed at Bugs' prone body. "Mine too, I wuppose..."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Uraraka Ochako.

"Welcome to the Blue Mars Project, here's your application form," the receptionist said, handing her a sheet of paper.

Ochako began reading, frowning by the time she reached the small print. "I'm not sure I understand these last few clauses."

The other girl shrugged. "What is there to explain?"

"I don't understand what working as security for a cosmic elevator's construction sites and staff has to do with any 'peaceful coexistence with the rest of wives'. Wives to whom?" she asked, confused.

The receptionist sighed. "You haven't met Negi-kun just yet, have you? Soon you'll understand..."

"I mean, is this serious, or are you testing me?" Ochako demanded. "Is this implying I'll have to marry someone? You've got to be kidding!"

"Of course you don't have to marry anyone, you also can be a concubine," the other female explained.

"..." Ochako glared angrily over the desk.

Yaoyorozu walked out of the office with a blush, straightening her skirt down and nervously fixing her hair. "Ah... Ah, Ochako-chan!" She recognized her classmate. "Um, you found the fliers too, didn't you? That's... nice, I don't think you'd find this workplace... unlikable at all..."

Ochako blinked several times, then stared at the receptionist again. "Exactly how much can I expect to be paid, before I decide on anything?"

Tendo Nabiki smiled widely. "Ah, I think I like you already..."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Dana Ananga Jagannatha.

"You made a Pactio with Boya?!" Evangeline couldn't give credit to her own ears. "Why'd you do something like that?!"

Dana shrugged her massive shoulders. "I felt like it."

"And you turned out the Ministra?!" Karin added. "That's impossible, you're so much more powerful than him!"

"I just felt like that as well," the ancient vampire said in a bored tone.

"No, furthermore, what a Pactio could possibly ever give you?!" Karin said, growing even more bewildered. "You have every power the Master has and then some!" she ranted, ignoring the dirty angry glare from Eva. "Sometimes it seems you have every superpower in the world!"

Dana pulled a jar of pickles out of somewhere and said "Adeat". A can opener appeared in her other hand.

Calmly, the huge woman used the tool to pop open the tight top of the jar.

Both other women were floored.

"Damn it!" Evangeline gasped, truly impressed while Karin blinked a few times. "I'll be hanged!"

"I know, right?" Dana said. "Now I won't have to smash them against the floor anymore…"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Aisaka Sayo.

"Hey, Sayo-chan!" Asakura approached her. "Why the long face? We just found Negi-kun, if there's ever been a time to be happy…!"

"Y-Yes, of course, I am, Asakura-san," the girl in the false body said, looking down at the vast extensions of land stretching under the Great Paru-sama. "It's just… I feel bad about myself."

"How come?" asked Kazumi, sitting by her side.

Sayo sighed miserably. "I'm glad Sensei failed that test Asuna-san told us about. The one that would have made him so powerful, like he wanted, to help us all."

"And why does that make you happy?" Kazumi inquired.

"Because he didn't become an immortal," Sayo confessed, avoiding her gaze. "And because there's still a chance, small as it is, that someday… someday… we might be…"

No more words were necessary, and Sayo certainly wasn't in a condition to give them either.

After several moments of consideration, Asakura put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed the pale arm at hand. "Don't feel bad. You're only human, Sayo-chan."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Fa Mulan.

Negi, Donald, Goofy and Riko blinked at the narrow, collapsed mountain pass.

"Well..." the Keyblade wielder said after a few moments, uneasily shifting a foot on the snow, "That worked fine too, I guess..."

"What if we never speak about this again?" Negi suggested quietly.

"I... I think I'd like that very much, thank you," Mulan said uneasily, rubbing her arm up and down.

Negi sighed and turned around. "Let's go, then. The Land of Dragons is safe at last, and that's what really matters."

"Okay..." Riko nodded, grabbing Mulan by a hand and making her come along.

Goofy followed them, with his usual eccentric gait, and Donald closed the formation, muttering to himself.

Then an armored arm sprang from under the snow, grabbed Donald by a leg, and tried to pull him down.

Furiously, Donald stomped the arm down until it was once again buried. He waited a moment, seething and ruffling his feathers, and only when it failed to come back up, the duck began walking away once more, his quacking even fiercer and more bitter.

Peace returned to the icy mountains.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Ran.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha!" she suddenly broke into an evil, deranged laugh. "You fool! You've fallen for my trap!"

"Eh?" Negi blinked, a moment before the nearby bed produced several long tentacles with pincers at their ends, grabbing him by each limb and pulling him on the mattress. "Ran-san! Why, why are you doing this?!"

"To get revenge on Lum and Lala, of course!" she said with a completely different voice and a mad glint in her eyes, moving closer and shedding her dress off to reveal a silver chainmail bikini not unlike Benten-san's. "I'll suction that incredible magical energy out of you and gain enough power to crush them both!"

"Wait... Lala?" he asked. "Princess Lum I get, you'd be upset over Rei-san, but... Lala?"

Ran stopped just a moment to huff. "I don't want to talk about that..." Then she crawled onto the bed and on top of Negi, giggling maniacally. "I'm going to leave you a dry husk...!"

"Ran-san, I must warn you!" he panicked as she moved her mouth closer to his. "If you do that, there's no telling what might happen! Magia Ereb-- HMMPPGGG!" his eyes bugged as she kissed him violently.

---

"She's sure taking a long-- Ah, that must be her!" Lum said happily, setting her cup of alien drink down and skipping for the door. "Good evening, Ran-- Huh, Ran?" she blinked at the girl on her doorstep. "Something wrong? You look... kind of not like y--"

"RAN-CHAN IS SOOOOOO HAPPY!" Ran, really not looking any different but sure feeling like it regardless, jumped onto Lum to give her a big, joyous hug.

"GAH!" Lum screamed. "I knew it, you... you are TRULY HAPPY now?! That's impossible! Benten! Oyuki! Help me here...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Patricia Reichardt.

After they finally were done, the older girl sat on the bed and reached for her cellphone on the nightstand. She aimed it at Negi and herself and began filming them.

Negi gasped, backing away and pulling the bedsheets up to his neck. "P-Patty!" he gasped. "Why are you doing this?!"

"I'm going to send it to an old boyfriend," Patty said calmly.

"But... But why?!" he asked. "Do you hate him so much?!"

"No, no, it's not like that. I love Chuck! I always will, even if as a bro now. But... you don't understand, Prof, since Chuck's hard to understand. You've gotta spend a lot of time with him to understand. He was always kind of a loser, and it's not that he didn't have courage and guts, but..." She sighed.

"I'm not following, I'm afraid," Negi confessed.

Patty smiled sadly. "Chuck's the self sabotaging kind," she explained. "He sabotaged our relationship from the start because, for him, it was just the rebound of him obsessing over someone he knew he'd never have a chance with. And I don't resent him over that, he couldn't help it! I think that he spent so much time losing he never got to understand, or even want, how to win in life. This thing? This is just the kind of thing that would actually please him nowadays, to be treated like this. He always would try to kick the football, even knowing you'd pull it aside."

"Football?" he echoed dubiously.

The tomboy laughed weakly. "Sorry, maybe I'll tell you about that someday. But I really don't like talking about the girl who would do that. I think I'll introduce you to Marcie, though. I'm sure Marcie will love you! And it'll make Chuck even more at ease with himself, seeing you with her too."

"Oh," Negi said. "Oh, that's quite sad. I mean, the part about your friend being so emotionally damaged..."

"Yeah." Patty grabbed Negi's sheet, pulled it down, and began filming his crotch. "Well," she said. "To be honest, maybe I actually resent him a wee bit..."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Kasuga Misora.

They rested now together on the bed, hands intertwined.

"You liked it, didn't you?" Negi finally asked, shyly.

Misora smiled. "Of course I did..."

He still was insecure. "There's no shame in not liking it that much the first time, you know."

She laughed shakily. "I was moaning the whole time, wasn't I? I'm not that good an actress!"

"Okay," he allowed, "I was just asking because, I'm sure I can do better from now on..."

"This was you in a slow day? Wow, I can't wait to see you working at your fullest!" she said.

"And you mean a lot to me, so nothing but the best should be enough for you, and besides--"

She finally grew upset. "Okay, this isn't cute anymore! What's your problem, do you tell this to all girls?! Or didn't you enjoy it?!"

"No, it's not that!" Negi panicked. "I enjoyed it a whole lot! You were wonderful!" And he was honest. For a first timer, at least. Evangeline's technique still couldn't be beat.

"Then why are you so insecure?!"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not sure, actually..."

Elsewhere, Darkenning frowned at OverMaster. "No, seriously! Cut it out with the hangups! Don't worry about what I'd do and just do your own thing!"

---


Omake!

---

A Fitting Technique.

The Joker frowned. "This is what I hate about discussing with you!" he told Crane. "You always resort to strawmen!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Mizuhara Koyomi.

"Aren't you tired of people always saying we look the same?" she asked Chisame.

The main partner snorted. "Boy, tell me about it!"

"Right, if anything, you look a lot more like Kagurazaka-san..."

"What? No, Kagurazaka is a lot more like Nekane-san."

"Nah, Nekane-san looks much more like your Iinchou."

"No, Iinchou looks like Takane-senpai. I should know since I've spent way longer around them than you."

Yomi paused. "... are you sure those glasses are really only for show?"

A vein bulged on Chisame's head. "Completely! But let's not digress. To be like you, I'd need to gain a fair lot of weight..."

"And I'd need to really let go of my skin, never caring for it..."

"And we don't even sound alike, to begin with, I actually can hold a tune..."

"Not that anyone can tell, since all you use that voice for is yelling at others..."

They glared intensely at each other, then clashed furiously.

Tomo and Yuuna passed by, then stopped. "Why are they fighting now?" the former wondered.

Tomo laughed. "They can't help it! They're too alike!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Gwendolyn Poole.

"What do you like best about Negi-sensei?" Ayaka asked.

"Oh, gee, that's a difficult question," Gwenpool said, rubbing her chin. "Well, if I must be perfectly honest, I'm not that much into him. I mean, he's cute and all, but I'm here because I'll be erased from existence otherwise."

"Ah?!"

Gwen nodded vigorously. "If you aren't a part of the collective there's no use for you in this fanfic! You don't matter! You're background noise at best! You'll most likely be blacklisted from all future projects because it's decided you don't have any chemistry with him or you guys! After all, if the guy in charge couldn't think of a way to fill a snippet with you, what are the chances you'll be useful for his long term narrative? I don't want to disappear so I'm here! Hi, Jen!" she waved at the passing She-Hulk, who pretended to ignore her and hastened her steps.

Ayaka stared at her.

"Hey!" Gwen said. "You asked a question, and I was honest! I could've lied, you know!"

"You're completely insane," Ayaka told her, her suspicions confirmed. Then she smiled and put a hand on the masked girl's shoulder. "But if you aren't that interested in Sensei, then you aren't that much of a competitor! Hereby, I appoint you as my new right hand woman in this team!"

"What about your maids?"

"They haven't shown up yet, and if they get their own segments, I don't trust they'll be able to resist--" She took a hand to her own mouth, horrified. "Oh my God, is it contagious?!"

"How much am I going to be paid anyway?" Gwen asked.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Buzam A. Calessa.

Of all of the pirates in Haruna's crew, this one had been the best in bed. Even with his recent physical upgrades, after a whole night Negi was spent, wheezing and bathed on sweat as he caressed her flanks idly.

BC held him close. "There's something I need to tell you..."

"What is it?" he asked contentedly.

"I should've told you this before, but... Sorry, I was afraid of your reaction. But, I can't hold it back any longer. Please don't hate me."

He patted her hip with a smile. "What, are you an agent for Sextum? We forgave Shiori-san, we can forgive you as long as you show a genuine--"

"I used to be a man," she told him. "I underwent heavy magical and scientific surgery to change my gender."

"Oh," Negi said. "Is that all?"

She blinked, bewildered. "You don't have any problems with that...?!"

Elsewhere in the ship, Riko and Ranma sneezed at the same time over breakfast.

Riko rubbed her nose while accidentally groping Ranma's breast with her other hand. "Maybe we caught a cold from being naked all night long."

"Yeah, perhaps we should cut back on the orgies already," Ranma reflected.

Dita rubbed herself against her back from behind. "Aw, Ms. Terran...! Don't be a spoilsport...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Pamela Lillian Isley.

"-- so that's what we have decided," Harley finished meekly, twiddling her fingers on each other. "I know, you have every reason to get mad, but--!"

"No, that's okay," Ivy said. "I'm in."

"You're in?!"

"Sure thing, why not? It's a matter of pragmatism, Harley. When the time of Gaia's revenge comes, we'll need a small but able generation of gardeners to heal Earth's wounds. Negi is tolerable and we still have time to mold him into a decent person, so I'm okay if he's the chosen one."

"Um, so you're still going with that," the blonde hewed. "Alright, but what about the gene pool? Won't it be too small?"

"I've thought of that, too," Ivy smiled, proudly lifting her laptop, the screen showing all sorts of intricate genoma diagrams. "Behold! I'll diversify it with all manners of vegetation based clones!"

---

"What did she say?" Akira asked when Harley returned to the room. "How furious is she?"

After a moment, Harley smiled and flashed a thumbs up. "You joking? She LOVED the idea! Um, you are capable when it comes to handling gardens, aren't ya?"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Tsunetsuki Matoi.

He was a young, handsome doctor. He came from a wealthy family, and while his heart was not in the practice of a profession his father had chosen for him, he still devoted himself to it to a fault.

Despite his unfortunate name, he quickly gained a reputation on his own, and his good looks made many women swoon for him. Not that he noticed, not really, until he helped with a certain birth delivery.

He'd spanked the newborn, methodically as ever, but when he turned her around, the baby stopped crying and looked into his eyes, with a stare that pierced deeply.

Jiiiiiiiiiiiii.

That was the first time he'd felt fear, of a sudden, unexplained variety, during his duty. It wouldn't be the last. For every time he passed by the child's maternity ward cradle, he'd feel those large eyes fixed on him, and the eerie sound would ripple through the air.

Jiiiiiiiiiii.

It was a relief when the mother and her child were finally let go back home. He returned to his satisfied, thinking he would have his first good night of sleep in over a while.

But shortly past midnight, he woke up in a cold sweat. And he looked at his window, and saw the large quiet eyes, and once again the faint sound rang in his ears.

Jiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Itoshiki Mikoto screamed.

---

"My first love?" Matoi hummed at Negi and Chisame's question, stroking her chin. Finally, she had to shrug, unable to recall. "No, I couldn't tell you for sure. I'm sorry..."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Fujimaru Ritsuka.

Someone rang at her door.

"Sensei?" Ritsuka blinked at the boy on her doorstep as soon as she had opened. "What are you doing here so early?"

He lowered his head. "Ritsuka-san," he told the orange haired girl. "I need to ask a very important favor from you..."

"W-What is it? You know I'll be glad to help any way I want..."

"Perhaps it's asking for too much," he said. "But I still feel like I have to dare bother you like this. I'll be grateful to you forever..."

Doki! Doki! Ritsuka's heart went. "S-Sensei, there's no need to make such a drama! Just ask for it! W-We have become good friends, haven't we? You can ask for anything... and, and I won't mind...!"

He fell to a knee before her. "I need to receive something from you, an extremely personal thing, something that would stay with me for the rest of my life..."

Ritsuka squealed in a strange joy inwardly.

---

She frowned as Yohko-sensei and Da Vinci handled the blood transfusion. Negi smiled warmly. "Thank you so very much, Fujimaru-san," he told her. "For sharing the gift of your immunity with me."

"Uh-huh," Ritsuka said dryly. "Anything to help you and her get close, if that's what you both really want..."

She glared across the room, at the chair where a blushing Serenity sat, twiddling her fingers together.

The assassin smiled awkwardly at her.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Miyazaki Nodoka.

How do I feel about Yue?

She makes me feel warm.

She makes me feel happy.

She makes me feel loved.

She makes me feel safe.

She makes me whole.

But above all things, she makes my chest look bigger in comparison!

A clearly rattled Nodoka closed her Artifact book.

"L-Last time I use this thing on myself..." she resolved.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Horaki Hikari.

"What are you doing now?" Kodama asked.

Hikari didn't look back from the sewing machine she was hunchbacked over, but just held up, for a moment, the arm with the tracking bracelet the mages had put on her. "I'm trying to be good with my parole officer. He says he needs to check on all of Chao's research and that includes the Units."

"I'm not getting it," her older sister confessed, chewing on the banana she had just pulled from the icebox. "Wait. Are you sewing a plugsuit for him? Really…?!" she stifled a laugh.

Hikari frowned. "It's from one of Asuka-chan's old ones. I hope he likes red…"

"Oh man, you've gotta take pics!" Kodama chuckled. "So, is he going to watch over you all through the vacation, too?"

"Yeah, I think he's going to take a brief trip overseas so unless the Faculty says otherwise I guess we might have to go with him," Hikari hummed, now working diligently on a sleeve. "Shouldn't be too bad, I always wanted to see another country, and knowing him, he'll surely just take us to some boring quiet place in his countryside or something…"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Zazie Rainyday.

It was a gigantic pillar of hellfire and brimstone, stretching up as far as the eye could follow. Sprouting from the stone seat, it rattled a hundred of short tentacles in every direction. It cried with a dozen shrill tongues, and the sound of that cry was painful to hear.

"This is him, indeed," Zazie said calmly.

The thing swore in a garbled cacophony, and everywhere across the chamber, little demons scurried away in fear. It seemed to inflate for a moment, defiant.

"No, I'm not going to change my mind," Zazie replied.

The monster shook, its eyes swirling around on its deformed face. Its sharp teeth chomped at the air. A tentacle lashed out, coming dangerously close to Negi's face.

Zazie stopped it, holding the appendage in her hand.

"Yes, Mother is coming too. What is it to you? You left us eons ago. If I'm extending this notice to you at all, it is only because of basic decency."

The creature seethed, and then slumped back on the throne, disdainfully waving a tentacle away.

---

"Oh, took you long enough," Chisame greeted him back at home. "What did Rainyday's father say, then?"

Negi, who had glared at every manner of fiend and villain in the eye without ever flinching, was pale as a sheet of paper. "I… I'm still alive, so I suppose he sort of approves…" he stammered.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Aasu Futaba.

"Futaba-chan," Nelly said. "There's something I need to confess."

She turned the strange looking device on herself and fired.

"Aaaahhh!" the dark haired little girl screamed. "Nelly-chan, no!-!-!-!-!"

But then, a red haired boy wearing Nelly's clothes stood where Nelly had been a moment ago.

Futaba blinked. "You... You are... that teacher for the Junior High senpais? Negi-sensei?"

"Yes, that's me," he said contritely.

"And... What have you just done with Nelly-chan?!"

"I... I am Nelly," he admitted. "Um, well, or rather, Nelly is me. And, aaahhhh, I'm a mage as well."

"So that thing is magical?!"

"What? Oh, no! This artifact is of alien origins, actually..."

"So you're also an alien magical girl boy?!"

"Noooo!" he said. "Some of my friends are aliens, that's all!"

Futaba blinked, horrified. "I see..." she said mildly after several moments.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to trick you, you just caught me in the middle of a necessary ploy to--"

Futaba eyed the device again. "Can you turn again into Nelly-chan with that?" she asked.

"Uhhh, yes, of course, but I'd better return it to Lala-san, that's my alien friend, before curfew, since I promised--"

"There's something I'd like to try, Nelly-chan," Futaba said with a glint in her eye and a smile that was just as innocent and pure as maniacal, even as she ripped her clothes off and pounced on him.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Tatsumiya Mana.

"So many scars..." he whispered as he saw her undress.

She paused and gave him a small, somewhat bland smile. "Each one tells a story," she said. "Would you like to hear some?"

"No," he said without hesitation.

"Why would that be?" she asked. "You still don't have the stomach, after all you've gone through? Or are you afraid they'll spoil your mood for what is to come?"

"Neither," he quickly said, his young voice steady. "But I'm more interested in the stories we'll make from now on, over those you left behind."

She considered this, and her smile became warmer as she crawled onto the bed with him.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Gwendolyn Stacy.

"You cursed boy!" the Green Goblin roared. "You'll never take this girl anywhere! She's doomed, you hear me?!" he added, foaming off the mouth and tossing her off the bridge. "DOOMED!"

"Gwen!" Negi gasped, flying after her on his staff. "NO!"

----

"... I, I know you can't do anything if their heads are crushed like a tomato!" an extremely nervous Negi, holding the blonde's limp body in his arms, told Konoka. "But surely y-you can handle a broken neck, right?!"

Konoka sighed. "Let me wake Asia-chan up, and we'll see what we can do..."

Gwenpool peeked out of her room. "Hey, cool! You got my original variant, too! Take that, Mary Janes!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Asakura Kazumi.

"I see," the redhead said, sitting before Chisame, Satomi, Haruna, Misa, Misora and Yuuna. "But, don't you think you're demeaning yourselves with this? I mean, ultimately you're still subjecting yourselves to a man, surrendering control to him. Isn't that like the opposite of empowerment?"

Negi walked in from the kitchen, wearing an apron over his clothes and wiping a plate with a cloth. "Well, if you ask for my opinion—"

"THIS IS OUR INTERVIEW, NEGI!" Chisame, Satomi, Haruna, Misa, Misora and Yuuna shouted at him at once.

Negi retreated back into the kitchen as quickly as possible.

"I don't think that's so much of an issue, at least not right now," Chisame then told Asakura.

The reporter smirked. "And, the sex is great, as I recall you said…?"

---

Ramona Flowers.

"Negi," she said, keeping him at arm's length. "If we're actually going to do this, you need to know… I have a past. And it won't leave me alone so easily. What I'm trying to say is, well, it's complicated, but basically you'll have to cope with it."

He nodded. "Yes, I know. Mr. Pilgrim told me about it. Just like him, I'll have to fight your seven evil ex-boyfriends."

"Actually, make that seventeen evil ex-boyfriends."

"Ah?!" Negi said.

She frowned. "What, was I going to stay pining for Scott for years? Besides, like you're one to talk…!"

Then every window in the room was shattered from the outside, and several people jumped in.

---

Lina Inverse.

"This is my sister," Luna said, all but shoving the little girl ahead. "She's not much, but she should be an able enough attendant during your trip. She's good at running errands and whatnot."

The terrified tiny redhead stared at this tall, majestic vision of beauty and shivered under the gaze of her quiet mismatched eyes.

The blonde, after a moment of regarding her in silence, knelt before her and put a hand on her head. "What is your name?"

"L-L-Lina. Lina the Pink, ma'am, my lady!" she squeaked like a scared mouse.

The gorgeous busty woman smiled at her. "Don't ever allow your heart to falter, Lina. The travels ahead of us will be difficult, but you can count on me, and so, I assume, I can count you. I humbly submit myself to your care, my mage-in-training caretaker."

She actually lowered her head, and Lina felt, for the first time ever, what respect was like.

Her heart also felt so much warmer now, as well.

---

"Princess Arika!" Lina shouted.

"The Thousand Master!" Erza shouted back.

"Boy, you're stupid!" Lina growled. "You weren't there! You never saw what she could do…!"

"No, it's you who didn't get to see him!" Erza growled back, readying her fists. "His was the true power of a hero…!"

Watching over their latest shouting match, Misora sweatdropped, with Cocone sitting on her lap. "Don't they ever tire of that? What could turn them of all people into such raging fangirls…?"

---

Erza Scarlet.

The dust was still, slowly, clearing all around the shattered tower.

"Can you stand up?" the man asked gently, offering a hand to her.

The small redhead, not wanting to look weak, grabbed it and struggled to get up, trying not to wince at the sharp ache in her knees.

"Whatta girl!" he said, laughing a little. "What's your name, sport?"

"E-Erza…" she said, looking into his soulful brown eyes amidst the dust clouds.

"Well, you're free now, lil' Erza. I can take you back home, if you'll tell me where—"

"Why have you done this?" Erza asked, looking around her, at the wreckage. "What did they do to you?"

"Huh? Oh, that! Actually, they weren't doing anything to me, but they were bothering you and your friends, so I thought, why not to kick their butts while I'm here…"

"Why?" Erza repeated incredulously. "Why would we be worth the effort? I… I don't even have a home. I'm nothing…"

He looked taken aback for a moment, for some reason she still couldn't fathom, and then knelt before her, placing a large hand on her shoulder. "No, what a dumb thing to say! Of course you're someone! For starters, you are my friend, well, if you'll let me anyway."

And then Erza felt, for the first time ever, what respect was like.

Her heart also felt so much warmer now, as well.

---

"Princess Arika!" Lina shouted.

"The Thousand Master!" Erza shouted back.

"Boy, you're stupid!" Lina growled. "You weren't there! You never saw what she could do…!"

"No, it's you who didn't get to see him!" Erza growled back, readying her fists. "His was the true power of a hero…!"

Watching over their latest shouting match, Misora sweatdropped, with Cocone sitting on her lap. "Don't they ever tire of that? What could turn them of all people into such raging fangirls…?"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Ayase Yue.

"Have you heard?" Matoi said innocently. "In the time we were separated, the first, well, second thing Negi-sama did was getting himself a Pactio with Ayase-san."

"Yes, I heard, but what of it?" Hakase said, not deigning to look at her. "It was a completely predictable eventual outcome, knowing the nature of Ayase-san."

"Of course," the senpai agreed smoothly. "It's just that, well, I was just thinking of how yours isn't the biggest, shiniest, prettiest forehead in our... social circle anymore."

Now that did make Satomi look up from her book, stiffening in place.

---

"Oh, there you are, Hakase," Yue blandly said, entering the room. "I wanted to consult you on this device I found in Paru's ship, even Paru has no idea what- What in the world are you doing?"

Hakase stopped polishing her forehead before the mirror just enough to glance at Yue sternly. "I'm not going to lose!"

Yue blinked and began to walk backwards. "I think I'll go consult Skuld instead, but thanks all the same."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Yumizuka Satsuki.

A girl with twintailed brown hair and red eyes stomped into the room, grabbed Negi by an arm, and pulled him to herself violently. "Mine!" she growled.

Louise blinked, for once too confused to throw an angry fit. "Who... Who the hell are you?!"

"This is my route!" the stranger snarled. "Sacchin's route!"

Chisame blinked as well. "Sensei, do you know this madwoman from somewhere?"

Negi opened his mouth to speak, but the newcomer interrupted him with a fierce "This time I won't be denied my route! Try it and you'll die! Enough is enough!"

Everyone was too stupefied by this absurdly strange twist, and even Evangeline appeared to be somewhat wary of the new arrival for some reason, so they let her stay.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Nana Aster Deviluke.

There are moments in the life of every older sister where, usually gentle or not, they have to put a foot down and lay the law down.

"You're going to have to take her back where you found her," Lala said.

"But you said I could bring any pet I wanted!" Nana protested.

"That's not a pet, that's a threat recognized by every stellar system!" Momo said, cowering behind Lala. "It'll kill us all and overrun this whole city with nothing but death and destruction, and besides, it's horrible and stinks!"

Nana pouted, caressing the Xenomorph's head as it wrapped its tail around her and prowled in circles in her immediate vicinity. "That's rich from you, Miss I Brought the Black Mercy to Mahora!"

There was a sharp cry of terror from the bathroom. "GAHHHH!" Nao panicked for once. "What, what are all of these fucking eggs…?!"

Momo glared icily at Nana. "You didn't even neuter it!"

Nana laughed nervously. "I was about to do it, actually!"

Lala sighed, standing up. "I'm going for the extractor; I think I should have one in the garage. Meanwhile, Nana, at least put a leash on her, will you?"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Filia Ul Copt.

"Already?" Chisame hummed, looking down at the five eggs. "That was fast..."

Filia smiled and tossed her long blonde hair back. "It's one of the many advantageous parts of belonging to the dragon species! Unlike others, I won't have to hold back in the battle against Cosmo Entelecheia because of a pregnancy!"

"I'm just going to stand at the back handling the coordination and logistics," Chisame dryly reminded her. "Anyway, who's going to look after your eggs while we're all there?"

"Ah, that's also already taken care of!"

---

Jillas sat on the five eggs with a miserable put down expression while flipping through an old guns and ammo magazine.

"Why do I have the feeling I'm going to be doing this until they all hatch?" the fox man wondered aloud.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Arika Anarchia Entheofushia.

"My son," she said after a moment. "What have you done?"

He lowered his head in guilt. "I'm sorry. I had no idea you still were alive and that I'd bring shame upon you."

"It's not about me," she told him. "You should have thought of yourself and those young women."

"It's what I did. All the time," he argued, not really hoping that would be enough, since how could it be?

She paused again, then placed a hand on top of his head and gently pulled him closer. "What is done is done. I will not abandon my family a second time. Impossible as it may be, I will still help you all pull through this. This, I swear."

He sniffled with a mixture of sorrow and the most genuine joy, and hugged his mother tightly.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Amano Hikaru.

Her cellphone rang.

"Hello, Amano here, who's that?" she asked right after picking it up.

"Senpai, it's me, Paru!" a happy voice spoke.

"Ah, Paru-chan! How was your trip?" the bright eyed redhead with glasses beamed. "Because you're back already, aren't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, just came back, I just wanted to let you know I'll be dropping by the club tomorrow. And guess what! I got ourselves that male model we needed!"

"You did? That's our Paru! Yeah, I guess you'd be tired right now... Fine, see you then!" She then addressed the rest of the girls in the studio. "Hey, listen, everyone! Paru's bringing us that model tomorrow!"

"She is?" Fujiyoshi Harumi asked. "Didn't she tell you who it is?"

"Nope," the college aged young woman said. "Must be her brother, finally back from that overseas trip. She must've spun a guilt trip for him..."

"It's Negi-sensei, I'm sure," Kurihara Suzuka predicted from where she was drawing under the supervising eye of her older sister Hibari. "We're going to be in trouble over that..."

Biwajima Mayu laughed weakly. "Oh, oh, come on! Saotome-san wouldn't dare to THAT much...!"

"... are we talking about the same Saotome Paru?" Akagi Sena asked bluntly while sketching Patricia Martin in the nude along an attentive Tamura Hiyori.

"Oh, be quiet," Harumi told Sena. "You're just jealous because you never could rope your brother into it."

All of them shared a long, uncomfortable silence then.

"I don't want to go to jail over this, I really don't want to," Mayu said very quietly then, all earlier trust on Paru-san having collapsed on itself as quickly.

Hikaru held her hands up. "Oh, let's not make a drama out of this! If she happens to bring him, we'll just refuse and show him the door! It's just as simple as that...!"

"I have just remembered I have important things to do tomorrow at, um, the old folks' home," Sena announced.

"You're a voluntary in an old folks' home? Since when?" Hibari asked her.

"Actually, I've just decided I'm going to apply for a job there right now."

Hikaru reached over and pulled angrily on Sena's ear. "We all promised we'd sell our souls to manga together! Never deserting, no matter what...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Shirai Kuroko.

"It was a good patrol, Kuroko-san!" Negi said as he waved, beginning to take his own way. "I had no idea these could be so… well, fun! Let's do it again sometime, okay?!"

"Right, right!" the girl waved back as she saw him off. "But next time try to be harder on infractors!"

Then she heard a chuckle coming from a few steps behind her, and she frowned. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing!" Saten said,with her arms folded smugly. "It's just that I'd never seen you this chummy with a boy before!"

"Unlike others," Kuroko said coldly, "he isn't a jerk and he's always actually helpful. Am I supposed to be a jerk to him?"

"Oh?" Saten stepped innocently around her so they were face to face. "Are you sure it has nothing to do with him sounding just like Mikoto-chan?"

Arai flinched at the mention of that name from this person, but quickly recomposed herself with the same cold applomb.

"No, it's not that," she stated bluntly. "But it might have to do with how his heart is basically the same as Oneesama's. Now, if you'll excuse me or not, I've gotta see how she's doing."

And she just teleported away right on Saten's nose.

Saten stood there for a few moments, humming to herself. Then she shrugged her shoulders and began walking away.

"This school gets crazier and scarier by each day…"