OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Kino Makoto.

She smiled at him, and her smile was large and pure and vibrant. Even after all they'd just done, it was the smile of an innocent maiden, yet also one full of energy and strength.

"It's so good to be alive," she said.

He smiled back. He wouldn't ever have the heart to tell her that her revival was an absolutely unintended, unexpected consequence of their tampering with the timeline.

All the same, he couldn't be any happier that it had turned out that way, as well.

---

Stocking Anarchy.

"Negi," she told him very seriously. "You don't understand a woman's feelings, you don't like bathing, and you're awfully obtuse about getting romantic hints. You're also always busy somewhere else..."

He flinched at her description of him. "I... I'm sorry! There may be some truth to what you say, but I'll try to--"

She gestured at him to be silent. "Let me finish! You already have the basics of what I like in a man, so you can be my boyfriend if you only get morbidly obese, you start treating me actively bad, and you make a habit of scratching your crotch everywhere in public!"

"What?!" he said. "No, forgive me, but I'm not doing all of--!"

She silenced him by shoving a huge spoonful of chocolate pudding down his throat. "Now start eating!"

 

[OverMaster]

Fate Grand Order versus Emperor Joker.

Jeanne raised her standard.

"O Lord... I shall raise my flag once again for the salvation of this nation! Nay, for the salvation of this world! All things righteous have burned away. All that is holy has died. Within a mere second, our future was taken from us!"

The Servants gathered around her, facing their common enemy. She smiled brightly, her large eyes shining with determination.

"Hear me!" she shouted. "O, Heroic Spirits, mighty warriors who have gathered here! Though we may be rivals, we must stand together now! My True Name is--!"

The cosmically empowered clown raised a hand and vaporized them all in the spot. "Huh," he said after a moment. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that! Now I'll never know if Shiki can kill Servants..."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Fukawa Touko.

When the first episode was over, everyone began to congratulate her, and even the likes of Misa and Louise appeared to be sincere. Right when Nabiki was about to offer her services helping with the promotions, though, Touko suddenly just stood up and left the room.

Negi found her sitting on the roof, looking depressed into the nocturnal horizon.

"Touko?" He approached her. "What's wrong? Everyone loved it…!"

"Well, I hated it," she said bluntly.

"But… But why? It's true that it deviates from your books a little, but…"

"It's a perversion of my work," Touko said, biting down on her lip. "There's nothing of the spirit I struggled so hard to achieve in that thing! It's soulless, plastic, manufactured! Committee-made! They took my baby, quartered it and put it back together like a mockery of itself!"

He blinked. "But… But you approved of it, didn't you?"

Touko wiped a stubborn tear off with the back of her fist. "It didn't look that bad while they were developing and filming it, okay?! I guess the edition did a number on it, but it wasn't like it ever looked good! But my representatives had signed a contract! I think I'll fire them and replace them with Tendo-san!"

"I'm not sure that's the best of ideas," Negi had to admit weakly.

Touko bristled. "I was a fool! I gave creative control inch by inch, and now all I can feel is embarrassment! Disgust! Worse yet, this is going to reach much more people than my books or any books can nowadays, and it has my name on it! So I'll be remembered for this! A thing I hate with all of my soul! Where is the justice in this world?!"

Negi opened his mouth to comfort her, but was stopped by the mild surprise of a hand on his shoulder.

He looked back, to see Enoshima Junko standing behind him.

Junko shook her head. "No, Sensei. At least not for now, okay?"

She crouched down next to the despairing girl and hugged her tightly, pushing her head between her breasts. "Let me savor this…!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Kiryuin Satsuki.

She pointed and declared, in an imperious tone, "Matoi Ryuko! I know you have been partaking in homosexuality with Mako-san! Thus, there is no excuse for… for…!"

She stomped a foot down, opening a small crater on the floor. "Nonsense! There's no reason to bring that person into this! It's not like she is a rival, or anything meaningful, to me!"

Satsuki breathed deeply and tried another approach. "Ryuko! The Tohsaka sisters are doing it! So are Rem-san and Ram-san! And the Narutaki twins! And the Deviluke princesses! It is perfectly natural for--!"

"No, no!" the young woman shook her head to herself. "That won't do! We cannot compare ourselves to the likes of them!"

She rasped, then shouted, "Matoi Ryuko! I command--!"

She bit her tongue. "Noooo! I'm supposed to be better than that…!"

She sighed, then tried to put on a very unconvincing kind face. "Ryuko, dear sister, we should sit down and—Aaarrgh! No, no, I won't debase myself like that! I won't beg for it…!"
Then she stifled a bark of surprise when Ryuko casually entered the room.

"Hey, Satsuki," her younger sister said. "I know this is gonna sound really dirty and weird, but I'm too horny and everyone's away. Wanna fuck?"

Satsuki turned back towards her and clenched a grin. "That, that's scandalous, but I guess there's no helping to your lowly appetites…!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Anna of Arendelle.

"Atchoo! Atchoo! Atchoo! ATCHOO!" she sneezed in quick succession.

Rapunzel hummed from the other side of the table. "Let me guess. All night long with your sister, right?"

"Worff iff, ev'ry single sfffneeze," Anna said, energetically rubbing her reddened runny nose.

"ATCHOOOOOOOO!" came a huge burst of air from behind them.

A suddenly naked Rapunzel glared at a suddenly naked Anna. "You know it's a problem for everyone when you pass it to Negi, though."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Catarina Claes.

"-- atarina-chan!" she could still hear their voices. "Please, hang o--!"

She thought she was waking up, now. Her head ached a lot, and there was someone kneeling by her side, on the grass. Who was that? The boy? The boy, whose name she couldn't quite remember...

No, it was her friend. A-Chan, crying for her...

She tried to reach up for her, to wipe those tears off her cheeks with a thumb. A-Chan, always one to overreact!

But she couldn't move her arm, it felt too heavy. She wondered if that had to be anything to do with the strange dream. In the dream, she'd been helping out a whole lot of friends and then some bad guys showed up and attacked them. She had supposed it was a good thing since if bad guys attacked her it'd prove she wasn't a bad guy herself, but then one of them killed her.

A pale girl with black hair and dark, soulful eyes stood by them, although A-Chan didn't seem to notice. In her gut, the dying girl knew who that was.

"You have three choices, now," Death told her kindly. "You can pass on with me. Or you can return to one of your lives. But only one. Please decide soon, or I'll have to take you. I'm not my own boss, I'm afraid."

The monkey girl looked up sympathetically at A-Chan, and did her best to smile.

She was coming back to her senses, now. The dream was fading.

"Catarina!" Sophia wept, hugging her tightly. "It's fine! You're going to be okay...!"

Maria, Negi, Mary and Konoka stood close enough for her to see. Feeling better already, Catarina hugged Sophia back.

"Yes," she said. "I'm certain I'll be."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Yuuki Ringo.

"Sensei," his concerned main assistant told him, "are you sure about this? Even if the editors approve it, the readers will hate it!"

"Why should there be a problem?" Yuuki Saibai asked. "I'm not submitting it for the Jump. I'm having it published in one of the Seinen magazines. Whichever one accepts it."

"Nobody will accept it!" the younger man insisted. "NTR is hated by almost everyone!"

"Then I'll hand it over to an underground, whatever," the older man, already annoyed by now, waved a hand at him. "I just want to take it out of my system, okay?!"

The assistant paused. He glanced over to Zastin's men, who were busily toiling on the main series at an opposite corner of the studios, and lowered his voice at his boss. "Sensei, even if it's just an oneshot, the fandom will take notice. You'll be branded as another 'cuck artist'…"

"I'll publish under a pseudonym," he said, shrugging.

"Your style is very recognizable," he further warned.

"Fine! I'll tell you what, then. I'm going to publish it under your name. That way nobody will think anything strange about the style matching mine. Content, now?"

The assistant wasn't. "Alright. Screw the Japanese discretion; we're ecchi mangaka after all. This is about your divorce, isn't it?"

"What if it is…"

"Sensei," his voice became almost a whisper, "if you need it, I can take you to a good therapist. A foreigner, but a discreet man. Nobody will have to know, but please, don't do this to yourself…"

The other man smiled his gratitude. "Thank you, Ken-kun," he said. "But you don't understand. It's not that I'm harming myself through this. Rather, I'll hurt myself if I don't."

"Sensei…"

"I'm going out for a smoke," he sighed, getting up from the drawing board. "Don't beat yourself over this, kid! I'm not going to blow any deadlines. Hinata-san will be happy, as she should. That's all that matters, right? And you'll be paid at the end of the next week, just like always…"

"Sensei, that isn't what I—" the assistant still tried to argue, but by now he already was out the door.

Yuuki Saibai got to the roof and lit a cigarette up. He stared into the urban distance, smoking idly, and though back of the wife and children he'd never been there for.

"It doesn't matter," he softly told himself.

Men don't cry. And life goes on.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Fujimura Taiga.

"Good morning!" a visibly pregnant Taiga cheerfully told Class 3-A. "Since Negi-sensei will be busy with the Blue Mars Project for the next few weeks, the Headmaster appointed me as your replacement Homeroom and English teacher! Hopefully, we'll be able to finish this term before it's time for our maternity leaves, and he'll able to come back by then so we don't have to kill him…"

---


Tomoe Mami.

It had been a hard battle, but it had been won with a stroke of tactical brilliance and a magnificent Tiro Finale. Now the team celebrated the member who had made that possible.

Ayaka raised her glass of juice. "For Mami-san! Always with a good head on her shoulders!"

"CHEERS!" the other girls shouted.

Mami laughed, a musical and sincere laugh, with a hand on her own cheek.

"For Mami-chan!" Sayaka said. "Always ahead of all of us!"

"CHEERS!" the other girls shouted.

Flattered and blushing, Mami laughed again, this time more softly.

"For Mami-san!" Makie said. "Always with a cool head even before danger!"

"CHEERS!" the other girls shouted.

This time, Mami only smiled.

"For Mami-chan!" Minako said. "Always--!"

Mami interrupted her with a gesture. "Excuse me, could we stop with the toasts already, please? I don't know exactly why, but they're making me uneasy..."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Kobayashi.

"By the way, I'm just realizing that even after all this time, I still don't know your full name," Chisame told her. "Or at least, I don't remember ever hearing it. What is it?"

The older woman looked aside very uncomfortably, then grumbled a "Kobayashi Springfield..." from between slowly grinding teeth.

"What? No, no, I mean your maiden name!" Chisame said. "Wait a second, isn't Kobayashi your family name?!"

Kobayashi gave her a bland look. "What ever gave you that impression, Chisame-san?"

Chisame sighed in irritation. "I'm sure we're raping canon hard here...! Okay, what was your name before our wedding then?!"

"Kobayashi Tohru, of course! The husband gets the wife's surname if her family is wealthier than his, right?" Tohru said happily from the kitchen. "Actually, even now, her true full name is Kobayashi Tohru Springfield!"

"I suppose that's true..." Kobayashi allowed.

"That still doesn't answer my question! If anything, only raises more questions about your name!" Chisame complained, but the segment ended right there.

---

Darjeeling.

She put her cup of tea down and smiled beautifully at Chisame's query. "My full name? Why, Darjeeling Springfield, of course..."

Chisame facepalmed. "My own darn fault, for ever getting curious about these things...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Lulu Vi Britannia.

This frail, spindly young woman turned back to face the platoon of soldiers. All of their weapons were aimed at her, yet she only smiled.

One of her eyes shone purple, flashing across the dark tunnel.

"In the name of my Imperial Authority," she commanded in a loud, clear voice, "I order you, kill yourselves!"

They froze in situ at best, confused by her words. But a second after, they found themselves aiming their own rifles at their heads. They shuddered in horror, not understanding why they were doing it, but nonetheless unable to help what they were doing.

They pulled the triggers, and gore and bone splattered around in all directions as the young woman's smile grew.

Finally, fate had given her a tool for her revenge.

She would find the killers of her mother and give them what they deserved.

---

Lulu lowered her head. "That's why I can't be with you," she grimly told Negi, putting the Zero mask back on. "My hands are stained in blood, and my mission is that of a killer. And there's no place for a killer along with an innocent like you."

Standing behind the boy along Ivy, both in her Sailor Senshi selves, Harley hummed and hewed. "Um, yeah, about that...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Naba Chizuru.

"I can't believe it," Chizuru said weakly. "You really would do that to her?"

"For the sake of my sister, yes, I would," Skuld said. "To all of you if it were necessary. Should this come as a surprise to you? I never made a secret of my goal, or how far I'd go for it."

"Yes, the Festival should have taught us that," Chizuru said quietly. "All the same, Asuna-san's never been the kind to learn lessons. She still trusts you, for some reason, more than she trusts Chao."

Skuld looked down somberly. "Her mistake..."

Chizuru sighed. "And then again, I know how it feels, to love someone above all others, to the extent you'd sacrifice anyone for them..."

"That's why I'm telling you this," Skuld said. "Negi wouldn't understand, the way you do. No matter how obsessed he may be with his father, he isn't like us."

"I guess he isn't," Chizuru answered. She paused. "Use me instead."

Skuld raised an eyebrow.

"I did say I place Ayaka above everyone else, myself included," Chizuru said. "Asuna-san's loss would hurt Ayaka much more than mine would. I'm not that blinded by love. I'll do anything that hurts Ayaka the least."

Skuld tapped her fingers on her own cheek. "And why, pray I tell, would you be useful for this project?"

Chizuru took the brown contact lenses out, and stared harshly with her mismatched eyes.

"I knew that already, of course," an unsurprised Skuld said. "You wouldn't suffice, only the true Twilight Princess will do. If anyone from your lineage could be used, I'd just have resorted to your father long ago."

It was Chizuru's turn to lower her gaze in sorrow. "I see..."

And then she felt Skuld's hand squeezing her arm. "Please help me cope with this," the goddess asked. "I'm feeling like I'm tearing my own heart out."

In silence, Chizuru closed her eyes and hugged her.

Asuna, who was passing by the door, stopped and looked inside. "What brought this up, guys? Since when are you so close?"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Toga Himiko.

"Hey, this is where you come to hide from the cops and superheroes getting a clean bed, three meals a day and a shota dicking a week in trade for helping fighting other people, right?" the young blonde greeted Chisame casually. "Do I have to sign anything?" She held a large handbag up, sporting a few suspicious reddish stains. "Don't worry about helping with my luggage, this is all I carry whenever I'm on the run!"

Chisame frowned. "We really, really need to start enforcing higher standards."

Harley peeked out from the next room and smiled at the newcomer. "Oh hey, it's you! So you didn't just throw my address after all...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Nothing Comes In, Nothing Goes Out.

"How is La Brava's rehabilitation going?" Deku asked as they walked along.

Gentle shrugged his shoulders with a resigned sigh. "I'm afraid that she's fallen in with some bad companies threatening to bring her back into old bad habits."

Deku gasped. "You mean... criminals?! If there's some way I can help, I'll be glad to!"

"No, it's nothing you can help us with," Gentle said, opening the front door of their apartment and ushering Deku in. "You'll see soon enough..."

Gentle took him to the next room, where La Brava, her long red hair hanging loose, sat by a kotatsu with Komori Kiri, Hasegawa Chisame, Osakabe-hime and Caragiri Jinako.

"Oh, you're back," she looked up at Gentle. "Did you bring all I asked you for?"

He exhaled and extended the shopping bag towards her. "Yes, yes..."

Deku sweatdropped.

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Jean Grey.

"I'm just worried about what I'm going to tell Scott," she confessed, as they both rested after coitus.

Negi looked at her. "But you said he was dead."

"Yes, he is for now," she explained, "but we X-Men always come back from the dead. Colossus died after injecting himself with the Legacy Virus, Kitty exploded in outer space, Logan was pumped full of adamantium until he couldn't take it anymore, the Professor was infected by alien insectoids, Banshee drowned when New York was flooded, Storm was fried by a Sentinel, Iceman slipped in the shower that one time... and look at them, they're all back fine as ever! You know, I've been dead three times already, myself!"

Negi stared at her, horrified.

She frowned, looking into his eyes. "No, what we just did doesn't count as necrophilia! Not anymore than what you've done with Sayo, certainly!"

He yelped and took both hands to his head. "P-Please! No mind reading! We'd both agreed on that!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Komori Kiri.

"I'm depressed," the Senpai confessed to them. "We're NEETs. The lowest of the low in the eyes of society. Behind our backs, outside, people are mocking and insulting us right now."

La Brava's right eyebrow twitched. "What caused this crisis of conscience all of a sudden?"

"Senpai," Chisame told Kiri, "you are wrong. This is our era! The dawn of this post pandemic age only accelerates a process where we can do everything without ever moving away from home! Online jobs are on the rise, meant to replace most other lifestyles! The future is ours!"

Kiri looked blandly at her, La Brava, Jinako and Osakabe-hime, and then just sulked into an even deeper depression. "Now I feel worse...! We aren't unique anymore...!"

 

[OverMaster]

A Piercing Matter.

"Doctor Quack," Bunnie Rabbot said, entering his office without knocking, "sorry ta disturb yuh, but ah'd like ta know if—"

Then she gushed loudly, taking both fists to her chin. "Ooooo! Yuh just had yuhr first night wit' Sonic…!"

Sitting on a stretcher while Doctor Quack pulled blue quills out of her with a set of large pincers, Princess Sally gave her a less than amused glare. "Yeah. As a matter of fact, I just did. What gave it away?"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Rosarita Cisneros.

"I'll handle this," Roberta said, yanking the magazine from Fubuki's hands. "You go supervise the rest of the staff."

Fubuki doubted. "But, Roberta-san, as the chief of maids, I believe I should be the one who--"

Roberta gave her that cold, dead stare that rendered her glasses opaque, and once again Fubuki surrendered her authority without a fight. "I, I suppose you raise a good point, my duties also include looking after Taeko-san and the others so... they don't break anything..."

"Good. You do that," Roberta said, watching as Fubuki retreated, then cracking the magazine open and reading it. This time, the spotlight was on boy idol Diego Garcia Loveless and his bathing suit photoshoot in the Caribbean.

"I can't let them see the Señorita is enjoying this kind of pestiferous material," she groaned to herself, flipping through the pages. "They'd never respect her again..."

She raised an eyebrow while unfolding the centerfold with the blond boy lounging at the beach in a black Speedo. "Ave Maria Purisima...!"

---

"Oh, Ojou-sama's subscriptions arrived again!" Siesta said, picking the stash of bound magazines left at the door. "I think I'll take them to h--"

Roberta zoomed in and took them away. "Hands off! It is MY job to make sure all the literature Ojou-sama gets is educative and wholesome, as per Señor Yukihiro's wishes!"

Siesta eeped. "I, I, I was about to go clean the pool anyway!"

---

"Roberta-san," Ayaka said, calmly approaching her.

She paused in the middle of chopping the bushes with scarily large scissors. "Yes, Ojou-sama?"

"It hasn't escaped my attention that, over the last few months, the pages of my favorite foreign magazines have had the occasional long black hair stuck between them, hairs that are too lengthy to belong to Siesta-san, and too dark to belong to Fabiola-san..."

Roberta began sweating silently. "Ojou-sama, I... I, really, I just thought I should supervise the kind of entertainment you consume. Please forgive me, I know that's about my station, but..."

But Ayaka only smiled. "I don't have anything to hold against a fellow woman of fine tastes and exquisite culture!"

---

"... oh, so that's what brought this about," a naked Negi said, resting on the bed between Ayaka and Roberta.

Roberta ran a finger over his chest. "I know where Taeko keeps her camera. Should we have our own photo session, Ojou-sama...?"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Jeanne d'Arc.

Akira laughed, raising a hand as the dolphin jumped over her.

The noble creature drew a graceful arc through the air, contrasting majestically against the blue sky for a moment, then splashed upon hitting the water, spraying all over a jubilant Akira.

Then another laugh caught her attention, and she glanced aside.

Jeanne-san was lifting an arm in joy while floating nearby, and a second later, a gigantic hunchback whale leapt off over her.

Akira's eyes shrank to the size of dots.

---

"Why are you so gloomy?" Yuuna asked. "Didn't you have any fun at the beach?"

Hiding in her bed with the sheets pulled all the way up, Akira hiccuped. "I don't want to talk about it..."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

---

Uchiha Sakura.

The man stopped by the bedroom's door. He stared blankly at them.

Negi gulped.

"Well," the man said finally, lifting the bag of groceries he'd just procured from the kitchen. His expression had not changed at all. "I left some money under the vase at the table. It's a new table, right?"

Sakura nodded while Negi kept on sweating bullets. "Uh-huh. I got rid of the old one around Christmas, in a garage sale."

"Ah," the man said. "See you next year, Sakura."

"Bye, Sasuke-kun," she waved stoically at him.

The man left.

"That... That isn't a way for a husband to react!" Negi could finally yell, almost bolting up from the bed.

Sakura pulled him back down. "That's just the way he is...!"

---

Uchiha Sarada.

Sasuke peeked back in. "Ah, yes, by the way, Sarada-kun," he told the still paralyzed in fear naked girl with dark hair. "When you see the Hokage again, tell him I still think he's an idiot."

And he left once again.

Sarada was the one to bolt up this time, shaking a fist. "Dumb old man! You've just found me having sex with my mother and her child lover, what kind of dad are you?!"

Sakura pulled her down as well. "You're never going to change that man, no matter how long you both live...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Rakan's, er, Collective.

---

Theodora Basileia Helladis de Vesperisszimia.

Negi walked in. "Master!" he happily addressed Jack. "I heard about you and the Princess! I want to--"

A moment later, he was flung out through the window and into the next continent.

Theodora glared angrily at her fiance. "He only came to wish us well!"

Rakan huffed, picking his nose. "Better safe than sorry! You've seen what's happened to everyone else...!"

 

[OverMaster]

That's the (Christmas) Spirit!

"Christmas is just around the corner," Kotaro said.

"Uh-huh," Negi said, looking into his wallet. "It's going to be difficult, finding the money for everyone's gifts. Maybe Haruka is right, and a circle of friends THIS big is a mist--"

"Why are you so worried about that?" Kotaro asked him. "Let Santa handle it!"

Negi stared at him, shocked.

---

"He doesn't know Santa Claus isn't real?!" Negi asked, bewildered.

Kagome shook her head. "No. Wait, how do you know? You're still just ten!"

"He figured that out on his own because he's so much smarter than everyone else, amirite?" Chisame snarked.

Negi facepalmed. "Inugami-san, sorry to tell you this, but today, even four years old know that's a fabrication!"

Kagome glared at him for a moment, then sighed. "Anyway! Every time, I just hire an actor to come over and deliver his presents. Do you know a good actor who lives around here?"

"You mean you don't always hire the same guy?!" Misa asked.

"Oh, you know how fickle actors can get," Kagome said. "They either quit to get themselves real jobs or find themselves TV gigs, and they don't have the time anymore..."

"Let me see if I got this straight," Ako said. "Inugami-kun, despite having super smell and hearing, doesn't realize it's a different man every year?!"

"Santa Magic," Kagome said.

"..." the assembled Ala Alba and friends said.

"Well? Are you going to help us, or not?"

---

"Merry Christmas, Inugami-kun!" Santa said, waving on the way out. "See you again next year, ho ho ho ho!"

Kotaro waved back happily. "Merry Christmas, Santa! And a hapy New Year! Thanks for everything...!"

Santa hopped out the window, walked down the street, doubled a corner, and met Negi and friends two blocks away.

"Did it work?" Negi asked.

Natsumi took her false beard off. "Of course it worked, Sensei! I'm that much of a good actress!"

Saber tried to scowl, but it came more as a pout. "I still think I could have been a good Santa."

"You have no idea the bullet you dodged, this fat suit is killing me!" Natsumi complained. "Ah! I think I'm even chafing...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Moving On.

Illya pulled back and frowned as soon as she saw Kuro entering the bath. "You'll better not try to harass me again!"

"No, I just came over to get some soap to wash my hands," Kuro said, walking past the tub showing no interest, and grabbing a spare bar set by the mirror. "I've decided my Yuri phase is over, and I'm going to be completely straight from now on..."

THUD!

---

"Kuro, what did you do to her?!" Shirou insisted frantically. "Please, you've got to be honest!"

"I'm not lying!" Kuro despaired, while Sella and Leysritt attended a catatonic Illya on her bed. "I, I just wanted to play a prank on her, I never imagined the shock would be this bad!"

"Maybe the Snow White strategy could work," Leysritt said calmly as ever. "I'll go call Miyu-san..."

 

[OverMaster]

Time Spares no Ermine.

"Good afternoon, Chamo-san," Satomi said while entering the apartment, leaving her shoes by the door. "Has anyone called during my absence?"

Then she noticed the ermine was joyously frolicking and rolling on a huge mountain of lingerie. "And where did all of that come from?" the girl asked.

"Ho ho ho, good ol' Haruna-chan gave it all to me for free!" Chamo laughed. "Her family was cleaning up, and they found the secret stash her grandfather's grandmaster kept hidden...!"

"Ah, yes, her 'Grandpa Happosai', if I remember correctly?" Hakase hummed. "You do realize that, if he collected all of those garments anytime between his years teaching Saotome Genma and the date of his death, then the young women who once wore those should be on average between forty and seventy years now, don't you?"

Chamo and his smile froze.

Chisame walked in next. "Hey there, what's-- What's this?" She noticed a certain set of panties and picked them up, frowning. "Hasegawa Mari? Why does this have my grandmother's name sewn on?"

 

[OverMaster]

Who ya Gonna Call? Not Me!

"By the way, Skuld," Urd casually asked her sister. "Are you still afraid of ghosts?"

"W-What? No, of course not!" Skuld said. "Hah, get on with the times, Urd! I've matured a whole lot since last time we met, and—!"

Sayo appeared right behind her. "Ah! Does that mean we finally can become friends after all?!" she asked eagerly.

"GAHHHHHHH!"

Urd sighed. "And yet you can hang around the Saber? You do know what Heroic Spirits basically are, right?"

"That, that's different, I can't do this creepy thing to Saber!" Skuld protested, putting a hand through Sayo's head.

Sayo giggled. "It tickles! See? We're turning friends already!"

 

[OverMaster]

Family is Family, Business is Business.

"Mom, I have a big question to ask you," Haruna said.

"How big?" Nabiki said. "I need to know how much to charge you."

"Mom, please! If you screw this up I'll hate you forever! Listen, I know Dad's fertility problems are why I don't have any siblings, but then how was I even born?!"

Nabiki glared. "Do I need to spell it out? We tried and tried and tried until you happened."

"Yeah, as if the aunts wouldn't try even harder than you, and they didn't get anything!"

Nabiki shrugged. "That's how luck works out. What are you trying to say here, Haruna?"

She took a very deep breath. "Mom... lately, I've been learning a whole lot of weird secrets about everyone's families. Negi-kun had a secret sister the whole time, and so did Hakase, and even Misa has a couple, and..."

"Your father barely could sire you, and you're afraid he left bastards somewhere?"

Haruna hissed angrily. "No, I'm just wondering if I was born the way you guys told me! Things have been so weird lately, what, what if Dad actually gave birth to me or something?! Is he fertile as a woman? I mean, he doesn't even age while in that form!"

"It was the Drowned GIRL Spring, and your uncle Ryouga will always be a piglet even as an old man," Nabiki said indifferently. "Really, Haruna, don't you know your father after all this time? Do you seriously think he could stay a girl nine whole months even if he had the patience for it?"

"Then... you...?"

"Oh, shit, no no no no!" Nabiki waved a hand, disgusted. "Who would I have around here to cheat your father on? Kuno? Ryouga? Mousse? Gosunkugi?! Dammit, Haruna, I have some standards! I'd never bother to stoop as low as to give any of them the time of the day, just to be charged with over a whole decade of childbringing expenses!"

"Then... Then why to try it with Dad, so hard, for so long? Why would you even--"

And then she was hugged.

"Because for some reason, against my best judgement, I love him," her mother told her, "and I'd always love any child I could have with him. You were and will always be my best investment."

And the sex was great, but it was better not to confirm that to Haruna-chan of all people. She was, after all, younger and prettier and gifted with more stamina, now.

Haruna smiled and hugged back.

After a while, she said, "Since I went and engaged myself to the princess of a galaxy spanning alien empire, right?"

"Hey, I'd love you just the same if you had merely married a Prince of England or a sheikh...!"

 

[OverMaster]

"Negi-kun, come closer, please," said the old man, and Negi closed the door after himself, walking respectfully towards the large desk. "How have you been of late? Resting and feeding well enough, after all you've gone through?"

"Yes, of course, Sir," the young boy told Konoe Konoemon, Headmaster of Mahora Academy. "Thank you for concerning yourself so much."

"Well, you have been spending a lot of time with Eva-chan, so I have solid reasons to be slightly worried," the elder said, gesturing at him to sit down, which Negi did. "She's a good girl deep inside, but... you know how she is!" he sighed, throwing his bony hands up.

Negi smiled. "Oh, indeed I do, Sir!"

Konoemon rasped. "You won't ever tell her I told you she was a good person, naturally. Anyway, I'm glad you are feeling well, Negi-kun. Otherwise, I wouldn't feel at ease having to ask this of you."

"What is it, Sir?"

Konoe produced a small jar of candies from a drawer and offered some to Negi, who accepted them eagerly. "With the Festival just one week ahead of us, there would seem I have a slight problem handling the tourism from the other schools. Applications have reached a historical record, and for the sake of our relationships with the other schools, I cannot outright reject their students without risking an impasse."

"I see. How may I help you with that?"

Konoemon sighed. "Well, you have proved yourself to be quite able to handle and steer large groups of rebellious children, and apparently your fame has grown beyond our boundaries, so... several students from the other academies have asked for your assistance with the Festival."

Negi blinked. "Me? That popular? Sir, you couldn't possibly be implying that..."

The Headmaster nodded. "Yes, Negi. Actually no, I'm not implying it, I'm outright stating it. I'm sorry to disturb any plans you might have for the three days, but you have been appointed as an emergency tour guide for the Mahorafest."

---

Live for Today, Plan for Tomorrow.

---

Lesson One: What Happens in Mahora...

 

[OverMaster]

I See you Everywhere.

There was a picture of Kobayashi-san.

Older, yet flat Chisame-sama, its attached note said.

There was a picture of Jinako.

Older, fat Chisame-sama, its attached note said.

There was a picture of Narusegawa, the onsen manager.

Older, bitchy Chisame-sama, its attached note said.

There was a picture of Osakabehime.

Mythological ghost Chisame-sama, its attached note said.

There was a picture of Kirie.

Future loli Chisame-sama, its attached note said.

Kiri paused in her cleaning and pondered all of this. "Matoi-chan sure has added a lot of stuff since last time I was here..." she mused aloud.

Then a wall exploded, and Kiri turned around to see Tohru, forcing a grin and with a vein bulging on her head. "I heard someone was taking pictures of Kobayashi-san...?!"

 

[OverMaster]

Unequally Traditional and Unconventional.

"Welcome home, Sensei," Hakase greeted him at the door. "Do you want a bath? Dinner? Or--" she sighed wearily and pushed Chisame ahead, "Chisame?"

Negi blinked, looked up and down at Chisame, and said, "Chisame."

Hakase nodded before walking outside to go back with Sakurako. "You're married now, you know, you've got to start doing this on your own," she told Chisame on her way out.

Chisame grinded her teeth, still blushing. "I'm working on iiiiit...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Negi paused for a moment before saying, very seriously, "With all due respect, Sir, I'm afraid I'll have to question you on the reasoning behind that decision. Surely you always could come up with a believable excuse."

"I suppose I could," the old man said, "but that would make liars out of us, wouldn't it?"

"Sir, a certain degree of truth bending is often necessary to preserve the secrets," Negi reminded him. "I don't like it any better than you, but... I'll be honest, even if brutally so, now," he resolved, sighing and running a hand down his face.

Konoemon nodded with interest. "If you please, Negi-sensei."

"Since my arrival to Mahora," Negi said after breathing in, "I have pulled too many people into our world, when I should have remained completely undetected until now. I am not going to deny my fault in those incidents, and I'm infinitely thankful to you for not firing me yet. All the same, I already have too many... what should I call them...?"

"Followers?" Konoemon said innocently.

Negi let out a small frown. "That's... not the kind of word I'd have selected, but I defer to your wisdom, Sir. One way or another, I already have many more followers than I feel comfortable with, and I'm not sure I can or ever should take any more under my direct tutelage, on top of my primary responsibilities as a teacher."

"Ho-ho," Konoemon quietly said. "I hope Konoka-chan doesn't fall in the 'excess' range of those followers then."

Negi blushed and waved a hand quickly. "S-Sir! I didn't phrase that well! Of course I'm thankful for everyone in the team I am tutoring with Master Evangeline's help! I have no real complaints about any of them individually, it's just that, well, I shouldn't even have placed myself in this position to begin with, and you know that!"

Konoemon nodded slowly, folding his hands together. "Yes. I understand perfectly. And... I apologize for placing even more weight on your young shoulders."

He stood from his chair, folded his arms behind himself, and walked to a window, looking at the sunny campus suffering the first strokes of the sweltering incoming summer. "The truth is, Negi-kun, you just happened to be born in turbulent times. That's not your fault. Since the Second Impact, and then the Fourth Grail War, the world of magic speeds towards a future where we won't be able to keep the lid on anymore. I won't lie to you either; that greatly concerns me and, yes, to a degree, it scares me as well. I guess that you could say I, too, am a part of that past that doesn't know yet how to adapt."

"Oh, no, Sir, my ineptitude at keeping my secrets can't be excused by that! Takamichi and the others can keep doing it! Even Itoshiki-sensei has had his own secrets revealed only because of me! But I swear that from now on, I'll change, I'll be much better at it! I only ask you not to place me in more situations with students before I can learn how to act more discreetly!"

Konoemon raised a hand to impose silence gently. "Negi-sensei. If not for you, my granddaughter would probably be dead now."

Negi lowered his head. "She wouldn't have been put in risk to begin with if I hadn't insisted on going to Kyoto."

"It was only a matter of time. We cannot hide from what we are forever," the Headmaster reflected. "Sensei, smart as you are, I'm not sure you have understood this yet. The timing of this year's Festival couldn't possibly be any worse, since it came to be right at the middle of a Heaven's Feel that shouldn't even be taking place here."

"You are still in time to cancel it, aren't you?"

"That would only call further public attention on what's going on here, even with the best of fabrications," Konoemon said sadly. "I'd like to, but it also would be interpreted as a show of weakness by Honnouji."

"Let them think what they want," Negi suggested. "We know we are better than that."

"Negi, Negi, Negi," Konoe shook his head. "You don't know half about Honnouji, and what they are capable of, either."

Negi waited for an elaboration on this, but it didn't come, with the Headmaster returning to the original topic instead. "Other than Takamichi, who cannot be everywhere at once, you've already proved yourself as the best staffer I have to keep students safe and sound in the face of overwhelming odds. To keep these children safe, I'd rather risk letting them learn about us... even if I do hope you'll truly try to live up to that promise you've just made, concerning the improvement of your secrecy."

"But... What about Touko-sensei? Gandolfini-sensei? Mitsuru-sensei?"

"Have they fought Evangeline and Graff Wilhelm and survived it? Do they have the Sailor Senshi a quick call away?" Konoemon asked back. "Learning to place trust in yourself, and backing that up with your skills without succumbing to overconfidence, is one of the most important parts of becoming a Magister Mage, lad," he lectured the boy. "And as always, you won't be alone."

He pressed a button of the caller on his desk. "Shizuna-kun?" he asked. "Bring them in."

"Yes, Sensei," said a sweet feminine voice, and a moment later, the door of the office was opened and Minamoto Shizuna walked in, ushering two of the girls from Class 3-A in.

Negi recoiled mildly in surprise. He had been expecting Evangeline and Iinchou, perhaps even Chisame. Instead, he was now facing an unusually tense Chao Lingshen and a confused Murakami Natsumi.

"Chao-kun, Murakami-kun," Konoemon said. "Thanks for coming. I know you both had previous plans for the Festival, but I'm afraid we'll need your assistance with a few tasks during it, in tandem with Negi-sensei here..."

Clever old owl, Chao thought, now realizing it all and struggling not to smirk. As clever as you can be with the information you have, at least. But you might have just handed me right what I need to win...

 

[OverMaster]

Our Generation.

Cocone-chan passed by, closely following her senpai and sighing very quietly as she looked up at her. "Misora..."

Tomoyo-chan passed by, closely following Kinomoto and filming her. "Oh, Sakura-chan...!" she was cooing.

Futaba-chan passed by, hearts fluttering out of her head as she followed a merrily skipping Watanabe-san. "Poemi-chan...!"

Riko-chan passed by, adoringly following the new girl in the classroom. "Kanna-san...!"

Chiharu sipped noisily her drink, then punched Yamazaki in the arm. "You lucky dog don't realize how good you have it!" she said.

He looked at her. "Eh? What does that mean?"

"You got the last straight girl in our generation!"

"Ah, that! Yeah, I guess!" Yamazaki laughed. A pause. "Wait, what about Rika though?"

Chiharu snorted. "Eh, she got over Terada-sensei at last, but I guess her tastes haven't changed THAT much after all..."

---

Mafuyu-sensei looked at the perfumed envelope left on her desk, then began blushing and hiccuping in desperate panic.