OverMaster's Little Crummy Corner of Sub-Par Writing

[OverMaster]

Revolutionary Girl Makie.

"So... you have a sword inside of you?!" Makie gasped.

Anthy nodded. "Yes, the Sword of Dios. It's only for my husband to use, however."

"I'm not your husband, I thought we'd covered that already!" Mai said from the kitchen.

Makie winced. "And... doesn't it hurt?"

"Of course not, it's made of pure spiritual energy as long as it resides within my chest," Anthy said. She paused, then added, "Well. Only a bit when I run."

Makie blinked, then reached over and squeezed Anthy's left breast. "Your chest doesn't feel sharp at all. Are you sure it isn't kept lower?"

"... you don't understand the concept of spiritual energy all that well, do you, Makie-san?"

Suddenly, Mai wasn't in the kitchen anymore and instead stood by Makie, glaring down at her. "What do you think you're doing to my bride, Sasaki-san...?"

Anthy smiled. "Ah, Mai-sama! You do care after all!"

Mikoto only pouted and frowned very deeply, an eyebrow twitching slightly.

 

[OverMaster]

"Oh, that's quite clever from Grandpa, actually!" Konoka said while she and Chachamaru passed the meals round the dinner table at the resort. Konoka, of course, was starting by serving Setsuna with a smile, making her guardian blush and lower her gaze. "Pairing you up with Natsumi-chan, one of the last few in our class not in the know, means you'll work extra hard not to be found..."

Ayaka nodded. "Yes, yes, I can see his logic..." she said, sounding oddly worried.

Asuna caught on to this. "Why that tone, Iinchou? Even if she finds out, what's one more in the class by now?"

"You still don't know Natsumi-chan all that well, do you, Asuna-chan?" Sakurako said, making sure to thank Chachamaru with a nod. "Well, you've never been all that close, after all. Natsumi-chan may look like, uh, kind of a pushover, but when she gets mad at you over something, she doesn't forgive easily. She's not like Madoka-chan, who won't ever hold it against you if you keep very important secrets from her for months!"

Kugimiya nodded while beginning to sip her soup. "Yep, that's me, the always forgiving pushover."

Now Negi looked quite concerned as well. "Is that so?" he asked.

"What did you ever do to Murakami, so you'd know that?" Chisame asked as well.

Sakurako laughed. "Not me! But Misa's chorus once butted heads with her club over a musical, and Natsumi-chan didn't talk to the three of us for nearly a year!"

"Oh dear. It sounds like she'd actually be upset at the whole lot of us..." Negi said faintly.

Ayaka rasped. "Shiina-san is exaggerating as usual, Sensei. Natsumi-chan is much more forgiving than that!"

"I still remember her wearing a long purple wig for her role of Jezebel after that," Misa grouched. "I've got to admit it, her imitation of my voice was spot on too... Anyway, Negi-kun, can't you take some time off for the second day and drop those people on Chao? I had plans for us!"

"What kind of plans?" Misora frowned, giving her a warning stare along Ayaka and Haruka.

Misa smiled and produced a poster from under the table. "I'm going to register Negi-kun and myself for the Miss and Mister Mahora, of course! We're sure to win, too!"

Negi blinked. "A beauty contest? Misa-san! Sorry, but absolutely not! I'm pretty certain a teacher couldn't take part in such an activity, and certainly not with a student!"

Ai looked a bit more downcast than usual then.

Itoshiki noticed. "We'd never win anyway, Kaga-kun. I look simply hideous in a swimsuit."

Ai sighed. "Sorry for even thinking about it..." she said.

"Let me see that," Saber said, taking the poster from Misa and reading closely. "Hmmm, this is interesting. Shirou, perhaps we should register ourselves?"

Shirou gagged on his soup, then sprayed it all over Keiichi's face. "What, what gave you the impression that'd be a good idea, Saber?! That's not like you at all!"

Saber slammed her fist on the table, now causing Keiichi's own plate of soup to splash him as well just as Chachamaru was starting to wipe his face dry. Morisato only exhaled patiently. "Desperate times call for desperate measures, Shirou! Since all other contestants in this War are cowardly quitters, we must draw them out by making our presence known in public, risky as it may be! Besides, if this is the King and Queen of Mahora, then I am born for the task!" After a moment, she added, "And I'm sure you may make a decent Queen as well."

Shirou facepalmed. "If the other Masters notice it, it'll only be to make fun of us!" he groaned. "Surely, nobody else could be that willing to do anything just to pick a fight!"

---

Illya put the poster down. "Berserker?" she asked very soberly. "What kind of swimsuit would you favor, speedos or trunks?"

"GRRWLF?"

---

"I don't see any regulations against teachers competing here, actually..." Haruna said as she went over the tiny print, adjusting her glasses.

Asuna perked up. "Ah, really?"

"Takamichi would never register with you, regardless," Itoshiki said.

"Shouldn't you be choking yourself on a chicken bone right now, Sensei?" Asuna replied, annoyed.

Haruna smiled, a glint in her eyes. "This is great! I'll make Nodoka and Kotaro-kun compete, and I'm sure they'll take one of the prizes! Now that should make that blockhead kid start seeing her as a woman already!"

"Oh, so you aren't making me register with you, Haruna-chan?" Rito asked, half relieved and half disappointed, as he reached over for the pepper shaker and instead groped Matoi's breast. Without a word, she stabbed his hand with a fork instead. "AIIIEEEE!"

"Nah, it'd be unfair to everyone else," Haruna said. "Lala-chan and I would have to register at once with you, and even if they allowed three-ways, who could even begin to compare?" At this, Lala nodded sagely. "By the way, Matoi-chan, you'd better not do that ever again. That's my Rito-chan's fapping hand..."

"That's okay! I'm a helper!" Konoka said happily, moving from her chair to heal Rito's hand.

"What's 'fapping'?" Negi asked.

"That doesn't matter right now, Boya," Evangeline said from the head of the large table, beating Chisame to the punch. "Anyway, Hasegawa is completely right in what she was about to tell you. You aren't going to compete in that stupid contest with Suzushiro, Yukihiro, Kasuga or especially Kakizaki, that'd be simply retarded..."

"Master, you're slipping into offensive alt right speech again," Chacahamaru said.

"Why that 'especially' when it comes to me!?" Misa protested.

Ayaka seethed. "Evangeline-san, I must point out that your role as our sponsor doesn't give you any rights over our private lives!"

Eva gave her a cynical look. "Says who?"

"Um, thank you, Eva... I guess..." Chisame said, then barked at Misora right when she was about to open her mouth again, "Be quiet, you! You're Church! What would Sister Shakti say if she saw you parading before everyone in a bikini?!"

Misora cowed back, eyes very round.

Evangeline chuckled cagily, wetting her bread on some sauce and daintily taking it to her mouth. "You are, instead, teaming up with me so I can prove myself as this campus' queen before leaving it behind."

"Yes, that is much-- Whaaat?!" Chisame said.

"Being born this handsome was a curse," Negi said in a very low voice to himself.

"What was that just now?" Skuld asked.

"Nothing, I was just murmuring nonsense..."

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Mortal Kombat.

Scorpion began walking towards him, surrounded by flames.

"Johnny Cage!" the ninja in yellow said. "You stand in my path to Sub-Zero! Hence, you must die... and no matter how much you beg, I'll show no mercy!"

The shirtless man grinned, lifting his fists. "Hey, that quote! Deadly Impact V, you almost nailed it as much as I did! What, do they show my movies in hell, too?"

The undead one laughed then, a chilling, inhuman laugh devoid of any mirth, as he swung his hook and chain around. "Are you serious? Those were ALL we were shown all day long!"

Cage dropped his smile. "Okay, now you've done it!" he growled, and charged at him.

 

[OverMaster]

Sign of Times.

Holmes doubled down, his hands gripping tightly on the bar by the side of the catwalk.

Ritsuka noticed this and grew even more concerned than before. So far, the Servant's unflappable serenity in the face of danger and disaster had helped her to cope with the apparent hopelessness of the situation after the attack on Chaldea. But now, all of a sudden, he had paled starkly, and his eyes betrayed dread and despair.

"Sir?" she asked, approaching him cautiously. "What is it? Have you... realized something is wrong, I mean, other than the obvious? I, I will be able to summon everyone else again, r-right?"

"Yes," Holmes said, with a cracked voice and fixed eyes. "Yes, you will! That's not it! It's just that I... I don't know if I'll be able to go on anymore!"

Ritsuka gulped. Had Da Vinci's death hit him that badly? "Um, I know you're suddenly loaded with a lot of new responsibilities, but I'll help however I can, and I'm sure the new Director will also do his best, and--"

"It's not that either! Curses, child!" Holmes threw his head back. "Haven't you deduced it by now?! I... I lost all of my drugs during the assault!"

"...!" Ritsuka said

Holmes hid his face in his hands and began weeping. "How am I supposed to cope with everything now...?!"

Ritsuka kicked him over the rail.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Spider-Man.

Gwen noticed a large portrait on a wall.

"Peter?" she asked. "Peter dear, who is this man?"

He sighed and smiled sadly. "Oh, that's Uncle Ben."

"Oh, of course. How many years ago was this?"

"The picture is from last year, one month before... you know," Peter said, lowering his head.

Gwen blinked. "But... he looks so young! He couldn't be that much older than forty!"

"Well, he was my uncle, after all, not my grandfather."

Gwen blinked again, then looked towards the kitchen.

Peter's skeletal, dissecated old mummy of an aunt was washing the dishes, happily swinging her flaccid butt.

"He had a type," Peter explained.

"Ahhhhh..." Gwen said.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Superboy.

The young man fought for his life against the alien invader. Their battle was raging across the Kent farm, each blow resounding like a discharge of cannon fire.

"You will die today, son of Jor-El...!" the massive man with the scarred cheek promised, blasting at the smaller powerhouse with heat vision. "So swears Zod...!"

Clark slammed his fist on his face again. The whole area trembled and shook, as if an earthquake had just taken place.

In the distance, a tall, lanky man with a very long beard stopped feeding his cows. He raised an eyebrow, looking at the epic fray taking place on the grounds of his neighbors, and sighed.

Calmly, the man walked into his farmhouse. "Hey, Ma, head for the basement!" he almost yawned. "That boy Clarkie's brought friends again...!"

 

[OverMaster]

Negima Genesis Evangelion.

Negi, Chisame, Asuna, Satomi, Ayaka, Misora and Cocone all stumbled naked out of the bathroom.

"AHHHH! Misato-san!" they cried. "There's a talking duck in your shower!"

Misato gave her guests a bland frown from where she sat sipping beer with Chamo. "You have a talking ermine, you know. What's so bad about Della?"

After a pause, she added, "And why were all of you bathing together anyway?"

 

[OverMaster]

DokiDoki! Super Tokimeki Dating Plan!

Shirou, Shiki, Itoshiki, Hyoudou, Rito, Keitaro, Ranma and Tenchi all faced a sitting Negi, who looked at them with curiosity. Itou also sat apart from them, at a corner, pouting and wearing a dunce hat.

"Negi-sensei, it's time," Shirou told him. "Valentine is approaching, so we're going to teach you how to establish a dating plan with several girls at the same time, and juggle them all successfully!"

He tapped on the complex diagram drawn on the blackboard with his pointer, and smiled.

Negi blinked. "Ah... Thank you, but why?"

"Why?" Shiki asked. "Isn't it obvious? So all of your girlfriends don't get mad at you and kill you or worse! That's part of what any of us must learn if we want to have a chance of surviving past twenty!"

"I'm here only to avoid the 'or worse' part," Nozomu felt compelled to say.

"That's very nice of you, but all of the girls are more or less okay with sharing their time with me," Negi said. "As a matter of fact, we're going out in a group date this weekend."

All of the men instantly flashed crimson eyes and stared venomously at him.

Damn lucky brat...!

 

[OverMaster]

Creative Input.

"Negi-sensei," Suzumiya Haruhi said, entering his office and dragging Chisame along by an arm and Madoka by the other. "We need to film your scene for the movie now!"

The boy blinked, looking up from the papers he had been reviewing. "I'm in your movie?"

"Yes, you are," Haruhi said matter of factly while Mikuru followed her in with a shy blush. A sighing Kyon came next, holding a camera, and Nagato Yuki closed the formation, dragging Misa and Sakurako along herself, then pushing them ahead so they stood with their classmates around Negi's desk. "Okay, Sensei, after they say the lines I've given them, you just say whatever comes naturally!"

"Will that be all?" Negi doubted.

"Yeah, yeah," Haruhi nodded. "Okay, let's start now!" she commanded as Kyon began filming.

Chisame took a deep breath and said very flatly, "Have you heard about the magical combat waitress protecting the mall?"

"Yeah," Misa said, her tone equally wooden. "I heard she's very powerful..."

"I heard she took a whole dozen of armed terrorists all by herself last week..." Madoka said with even worse delivery.

"I heard she's from another planet, just like Superman but cooler..." Sakurako said, making a point of just looking aside with no interest at all.

Negi paused, then looked at Haruhi, who nodded firmly and gestured at him to speak.

Negi smiled. "I heard she's very, very smart and cute!"

Mikuru blushed and swooned while Kyon sighed again.

"Okay, that will be all! Thanks for your time! You'll receive your VP tickets for the premiere this weekend!" Haruhi said, turning around and beginning to walk away. "Come on, everyone, we still have post production work to do..."

While passing next to Mikuru, she whispered to her. "Fine, there's your dumb scene as you requested! Now you owe me..."

For once, Mikuru thought it was well worth it.

 

[OverMaster]

Sorry, but your King is in Another Castle.

Shirou ran through the fields of Avalon.

The sun bore its bright, warm rays on him, and the joy in his heart matched them.

Finally, he would see her again. After all these years of struggle and hardship, he had found his way to her.

He kept on running.

Eventually, he began suspecting something. He hadn't actually found Saber yet.

He kept on running regardless, through fields that seemed to have no end.

And then…

He found a tower.

There was a note attached to its single, closed door.

He read it.

'Shirou: I was summoned to fight in the Grand Order for the sake of mankind past, present, and future. Sorry.'

'P.S. The key is under the doormat. Come inside and make me lots of dinner. –Artoria.'

Shirou sweatdropped. "This isn't the way I'd imagined this…!"

---

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Black Butler.

Ciel Phantomhive shouted into his phone.

"I'm going to sue you over false advertisement! The guy you sent is white!"

Standing before the young man's table, Sebastian Michaelis just rolled his eyes back in silence.

 

[OverMaster]

Senpai's Feelings.

Shirou stared at Setsuna as she stood, practicing her sword swings.

He never stopped staring, with utter fascination. Barely ever blinking.

Keiichi approached Konoka, who was happily setting a picnic banket near them. "Um, Konoka-san?" he said in a low voice, leaning closer. "Don't you... You know, mind this at all?"

"Oh, of course not, Senpai!" Konoka said with a smile, then called out, "Setchan! Let's eat, okay?!"

"Yes, Ojou-sama!" Setsuna said quickly, then left Yuunagi by a tree and rushed over to join her.

Shirou now kept on staring at the sword, just as mesmerized as before.

"See?" Konoka told Keiichi. "He's no threat!"

"Ahhhhhh."

 

[OverMaster]

Servants who Never Should be Summoned.

---

Berserker.

"I am Berserker!" the gigantic shark man shouted, grabbing Archer. "I'm a shark...!"

And he shoved the other Servant whole down his throat.

Rin stared in horror. Then there was a long pause, and she looked at Illya.

"Soooo... what's the punchline?" Rin asked.

Illya wagged a finger. "He is Berserker," she explained. "And he's a shark."

Berserker took a hand to his stomach. "Sharp things don't taste good!" he said before puking Kanshou and Bakuya out.

 

[OverMaster]

Mahou Sensei Negima! and all related characters and elements are the creation and intellectual property of Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

All other characters and franchises mentioned within this story are the property of their respective trademark and copyright holders.

---

Written on Stone.

---

Prologue.

---

The sky was crystal clear blue, and under different circumstances, Hasegawa Chisame might have marveled at how clean it looked. A fiercely bright sun presided over a tropical, humid land of wonder, stretching in all directions as far as the human eye could follow. Somewhere in the distance, a large, majestic beast roared.

The team was gathered across a small grassy valley, surrounded by high peaks that would keep any major predator at bay for the time being. There were a few trees in sight, around five if you counted the really small and twisted one by that fountain, but mostly, it was bare of anything beyond short, thick grass, which was perfect for the purposes of what Saber wanted to do now.

A few birds chirped and sang on the branches of the four large trees. The trees themselves weren't too different from those you could see in Mahora, but the birds were strange little creatures, more like tiny lizards with wings and colorful feathers. They had long, featherless tails they would swing around, and long, narrow snouts full of sharp teeth, instead of beaks. They never attacked anyone, though, so the youngsters just left them alone while going around with their own business.

Chisame sat, somewhat traumatized, in the middle of a large group of boulders that formed a throne of sorts. Not that the ponytailed girl fancied herself superior to the others like a queen, noooo, of course not, but it just felt, right, okay? It was more or less comfortable there, as much as it could be when one sat on rocks. At least it would beat sitting on that itchy grass full of bugs. She sighed, hugging her legs against herself and watching the others.

Saber finished fixing the ball. The ball was a football-sized solid mashup of tar tightly packaged within large leaves tied together with some of Itoshiki-sensei's rope. Saber definitely had some issues. The blonde set the ball down on the grass and said, "Okay! It is done! Now we only need to establish the goals and decide on the teams! Mine, of course, shall be called the Lions of Camelot..."

"Not the Knights of the Round?" Inugami Kotaro asked.

"That was that back then, and this is this right now," Saber told the black haired boy. Kotaro had taken his shirt, shoes and socks off, and seemed rather content wearing only pants and letting his tail hang free through a hole in their backside. "Do you have any experience with the sport?"

Kotaro grinned and gave her a thumbs up. "Why do you think I left school? They kicked me out because I was too good at it!"

"That doesn't even make any sense, but I'll believe you," the short blonde said dryly, and then looked at Negi Springfield. "What about you, Professor?"

"I played goalie a few times in Merdiana," the red haired little boy said. Since Kotaro had done it, he'd also stripped down to his pants, and Misa, Ayaka and Haruna stared at him, drooling.

Saber nodded. "You will be my goalie then. I will also pick Shirou, Haruna and Ayaka."

Kotaro looked at Yuuki Rito. "You're supposed to be good at football, right?"

"Right," the older, orange haired boy said, shirtless as well but wearing his shoes, and while not as finely toned as the two rivals, he still was far from being flaccid. Chisame had to admit he was good looking, even.

"Do you think you can play without tripping and falling on the girls?" Kotaro asked next.

"I can't make any promises," Rito had to admit.

Kotaro sighed. "You'll have to do. I pick Lala-neesan and Haruka-neesan too. And Asuna-neesan as my goalie!"

"Alright!" Kagurazaka Asuna cracked a smile. "This is gonna be fun!"

"Not me?" Akashi Yuuna asked.

"You'll be our benchwarmer," Kotaro promised.

"And me?" Sasaki Makie asked.

"You can be our cheerleader," Kotaro said.

"Why should I be the cheerleader when Misa-chan, Sakurako-chan and Kugimin are right here?" the petite, pink haired young woman complained.

"We don't mind, really," the short haired Kugimiya Madoka said blandly, waving a hand from the sidelines. "Knock yourself out, Makie!"

Emiya Shirou picked the ball up. "Are you sure it won't fall apart during the game, Saber? Let me Reinforce it..."

Kakizaki Misa settled down next to Chisame. "They really should be focusing on how to get ourselves back instead of wasting time with games, don't you think?"

"Mmm-hmmm," Chisame said.

The gorgeous, violet haired classmate raised a thin eyebrow at her. "Still sulking over the Internet, huh?"

"I don't want to talk about that..." Chisame growled.

"Hey, it's been hard on all of us!" Misa whined, giving a quick tug on her own skirt. "Life without Twitter is a torture! What do you use the Internet for anyway? Nobody in the class has you in their list of friends, do you even have Facebook?"

"I told you I don't want to talk about it..."

"You don't have to be like that!"

"I wish Ako were here, she'd make for the best referee," Yuuna observed, sitting down next to a pouting Makie as Miyazaki Nodoka stepped in at the middle of the makeshift court. "How much do you know about football rules, Bookstore?"

Nodoka looked at her, lifted a pointer finger, and said studiously, "I have read and memorized five different rulebooks on the subject, two of them written by notorious Brazilian specialist Roberto Hongo..."

"Right! Sorry, forget I asked!" Yuuna said, throwing her hands up. Then she looked around and wondered aloud, "Hey, where did Misora and Cocone go?"

 

[OverMaster]

But, are you Receiving Royalties?

"I must admit I'm impressed, Sensei," Ako told him. "I never imagined that your father would be so popular in the world of magic as to have a line of stores centered on his figure."

Her just returned teacher blinked, wearing his official Nagi Springfield shirt, sweatpants and baseball cap. A licensed Nagi bag hung from his shoulder, almost overflowing with Thousand Master dolls and rolled up posters. A replica of Nagi's staff was secured to his back along the real one.

"Huh? How did you know about the store chain, Ako-san?" he asked, pulling the Thousand Master lollipop out of his mouth.

"Just female intuition at work, Sensei…"

 

[OverMaster]

It had started a couple days ago, or rather, a few millions of years into the future.

The School Festival that never seemed to actually come about was right around the corner, just a week away, and so Haruna had seen fit to bring Nodoka, Yue and Kotaro into the cabin.

"This is an irregular procedure, I'm afraid," Karakuri Chachamaru said, standing on the front doorstep and still blocking their way in. "Master's instructions were clear, any new arrivals are to be consulted with her first, so she can reject them adequately."

"Come on, Chacha-chan!" Haruna said. "It's just the girls and Kotaro-kun!"

"This is not my property, Saotome-san, I'm just a retainer," Chachamaru reminded her. "I'm sorry, but if it were up to me, I'd give free access to everyone in the class..."

Yue sighed. "I knew it was pointless to come. Let's go back home, Nodoka."

"Keep thinking of the books!" Haruna said, and brought her hands together. "Chacha-chan, why don't you call Eva-chin here and tell her she can study the Clow Cards personally?"

"W-What...?!" came a tiny squeaky voice from inside Nodoka's backpack. "I never agreed to anything like that!"

The gynoid looked back into the cabin. "Master!" she called out. "Miyazaki-san will lend you The Clow in return for a stay at the resort...!"

"No, she won't!" Keroberos' voice cried. "Haruna is crazy! Shouldn't you know you can't pay attention to anything she says?!"

"Did they bring the annoying mutt along?" Evangeline's voice asked.

Kotaro frowned. "Yeah, I'm here, but if that's the way it's gonna be, then I'm leaving, granny! I don't-!"

"Ah, then let them in!" Evangeline said. "Boya needs a new punching bag for his training!"

Chachamaru stepped aside and bowed.

Kotaro grumbled while following the girls inside, Kero's cries of protest still erupting from the backpack. "I hope Mom's negotiations to get me outta this school pay off soon..."

 

[OverMaster]

"The reason why I called all of you here today," Negi exposed, placing an old watch at the middle of the large, square table, "is this."

They all looked at the golden watch, attached to a long chain but otherwise unremarkable looking. "Who gave you this?" Chisame asked.

"Chao-san gave it to me yesterday," Negi said. "Sorry I didn't tell you before. I didn't think much of it at first... but thinking about it later, I realized Chao-san shouldn't have been joking."

"Joking about what?" Asuna asked warily.

Negi sighed and shook his head. "She said that this watch, called a Cassiopeia, is actually a time traveling device."

"No, seriously?" Misora said. "And she just gave it to you like that?!"

"Yeah, she must've been kidding, no matter if she's Chao Lingshen, she's still just human... Right?" Yuuna said, then gave Skuld a pointed glare.

The fair skinned, long haired little goddess raised her hands and said, "Completely and all too human, I wouldn't possibly lie about that."

"Is this something you've been working on along her?" Evangeline asked, a subtle tone of threat ever so implicit in her words.

"No, this is Chao's project, all of her own," Skuld said. "She has had this machine long before I even came here."

"Chao had a freaking time machine and you never told us?!" Yuuna gasped.

Skuld huffed. "What is it to you? Are you entitled to knowledge on ever development of her laboratories just because you're her classmates?"

"Well, now we have this in our hands," Ayaka frowned at the innocent looking watch, "so we are charged with the duty of deciding what to do with it. Sensei?" she instantly defered to Negi, as expected. "Did she say this was a gift, or merely a loan?"

"She said that it was all mine to do as I wished, but that it wouldn't work until the Festival starts and it would stop functioning as soon as it ends," Negi explained, folding his arms thoughtfully. "Apparently, it relies on the extra flux of mana the World Tree provides during those three days to work."

Shiina Sakurako looked at Hakase Satomi. "Satomi-chan, did you know about it?" the cheerleader asked the bespectacled, shorter girl with the large shiny forehead. "You've worked with Chao for years..."

"Each of us has projects we keep in secret from each other," Satomi replied, failing to notice how this made Sakurako look slightly relieved for some reason. "I wouldn't put it under Chao's capacities, she's certainly well read on the subject and assimilated the news on the other Ala Alba's transdimensional displacement with remarkable ease. I'm not surprised she has experimented with temporal movement before."

"Let's destroy it," Chisame spoke bluntly.

A thin girl with much shorter black hair gasped, seeming to appear out of nowhere right behind her. "Chisame-sama, no! Please, think of all the wonderful possibilities! You'd be wasting an unique chance denied to the rest of mankind...!"

"Ah!" Kotaro gasped. "You were here?!"

Tsunetsuki Matoi nodded. "Yes, always."

"But I didn't even smell you!" a confused Kotaro protested.

"I have thought of the possibilities, Tsunetsuki!" Chisame told her senpai. "That's precisely why we must shatter it, bury the pieces, and forget all about it! Traveling through time? Man isn't meant to do that! Haven't you ever watched any sci-fi movies?!"

Negi shrugged. "It's not like it could take us anytime distant from ours, regardless. Chao-san said that, at most, it can take you a hour back, minutes more, minutes less."

"That's a crappy time machine!" Asuna said. "Not even to the Prohibition Era?!"

Negi exhaled sadly. "I was just as disappointed as you're now, Asuna-san. I really wanted to see dinosaurs..."

Shirou flinched slightly. "Be careful with what you wish, Sensei, the story of the Fourth War should've taught us that..."

"Why would you want to see the er of the gangsters firsthand?" Sakurazaki Setsuna asked Asuna.

"All those confident, hot blooded gentlemen in fine suits!" Asuna said. "Do you really need to ask?"

"Even if it's just a few minutes into the past, that's still an incredible feat, only True Magic users can break the bonds of time at all," Kero said, walking over to Cassiopeia and squinting at it, almost touching its surface with his face. "Unless, of course, this really doesn't work, and she's either lying or simply expressing a wishful thinking it will."

"Kero-san's got a point," said Hasegawa Sora, Chisame's freckled, college aged older sister. "To know it works, she must have tested it, right? And how could she do that if it won't work until the Festival?"

They all looked down at it again.

"Say," Rito broke the silence after a few moments. "This place is supposed to be overflowing with that mana thing, right?"

"Of course it is, that's why Saber feels more comfortable here," Evangeline said, slapping his accidentally wandering hand off her flat chest. "What does that have to do with- Oh, oh, I see. Yes, yes, for once you are correct..."

An evil smile crept up her thin lips slowly.

Chisame grimaced. "Um, we're still destroying it, right...? Evangeline...?"

 

[OverMaster]

Support.

"I still don't understand them," Artoria confessed. "They either didn't have anyone else back at where they come from, or they just don't care for them. In her case, I could come to understand, but why does he act the way he does then? He cares for complete strangers but not his birth people?"

"Ah, you're still new here, and also still growing used to feelings not belonging to a perfect king," Merlin said. "That they never mention their background, or seem to care about it, doesn't mean that it doesn't influence what they do right now, through our struggles and hardships."

---

"I need a hug," her brother said, with that small, haunted tone he wouldn't show in front of anyone else, not even Mash.

Ritsuko sighed and held her arms open. "Again? C'me here, you big dork."

Ritsuka edged closer, and the redhead hugged him, holding him tightly.

---

Merlin smiled. "I'm called the best support in Chaldea, and I can't debate that. But in her own way, that psychotic little Master is my better, I suppose..."

 

[OverMaster]

"What the Nifelheim do you think you're doing?!" Skuld yelled.

Misora, crouching down by a huge rock, looked up at her, standing there with Keiichi-senpai, Sora-senpai, Konoka and Setsuna. Cocone Fatima Rosa sat on the grass by Misora's side, barefoot and mouthing a very quiet, "I told you so."

Misora still held in her hand the smaller, sharp piece of rock she'd just used to carve on the boulder at superspeed. Now the huge rock read 'Fred+Wilma' at the middle of a heart struck by an arrow.

The incorrigible short haired prankster said the first thing to come to her mind. "I'm giving an archaeologist a heart attack."

"No, you're giving ME a heart attack!" the Norn screeched while slamming a foot down. "Are you insane?! Don't you realize how badly you can change the course of history with this?! You might even cause a timeline where you never were born, although that only could be an improvement!"

"Rude!" Misora said.

Skuld snatched the makeshift tool from her. "Give me that! I can't believe you're being so irresponsible!"

"Look, I know what you're trying to say," Misora said."It's like in that movie where they step on a prehistoric butterfly and change history, right? But—"

"A book," Konoka said.

Misora looked at her. "Excuse me?"

"That story started as a book, it only was adapted for a movie much later," Konoka explained. "Besides, I'm pretty sure you meant a paleonthologist rather than archeologist."

"Oh. Oh, that's right, you're Library Club too," Misora said. "What I'm trying to say is, they haven't ever found this rock, so what? We don't ever know if it'll survive that long! And if it does, they'll only find it after our time, so what's the problem? We aren't changing the past, just our future, and we do that all the time!"

Skuld sighed. "That's still only a possibility, true, but we can't leave anything to chance! The potential consequences are too dire to even risk them!"

"Sku-chan, we're already changing history anyway, as long as we're not supposed to be here to begin with, right?" Morisato argued. "I mean, we must have stepped on several insects by now, and if we have to stay much longer, we're going to run out of supplies…"

The goddess gave her contractor an upset look. "Do you think I'm not worried about that myself? But there's a difference between altering the environment out of necessity and only doing it for fun!"

"Fine, then let's just shatter the stone to dust, that way nobody will ever see this," Kasuga rolled her eyes back. "Spoilsport."

Skuld gave the boulder a long, pondering look, and then shook her head. "No. What is done is done, and we don't know if this stone is supposed to stand until modern times or not. Who knows, you might even be right and it could be destroyed before long, or erosion could just render your stupid gag unreadable. But we might risk damage to the timestream by destroying it, as well."

They began walking back towards the others. A large winged creature flew above them, briefly casting a huge shadow on them, and Sora shuddered, following its pass with her gaze.

"This place is going to drive me crazy," Chisame's sister confessed. "Those things are big enough as to just grab us and take us away…!"

"That's why nobody should wander away alone," Setsuna lectured, giving Misora a stern look. "Negi-sensei and I can fly after those reptiles, so in the worst case scenario, we can slay them and rescue you before you plummet to the ground."

Sora didn't feel any better regardless. "Chisame was right, hanging out with you guys is dangerous to anyone's wellbeing."

"Sku-chan, are you sure this is the Mahora area," Keiichi changed the topic, looking in all directions as they walked. "The landscape looks all wrong, even the mountains are different."

"The continents haven't even separated yet, Keiichi," Skuld said. "Japan is still part of Pangaea, and the shifts shaping the geography of the islands are still a few millions of years ahead."

"What is Pangaea?" asked Cocone.

"Oh, that's right, you're from the world of magic…" Sora said, adjusting her glasses. "Well, Konoka-san could explain it better, but basically, it is the single mega-continent that eventually split into the Asia, America, Africa and Europe we know today, right, Skuld-san?"

"Basically," Skuld allowed. "If I'm remembering my history classes correctly, the deities who would become Japan's protectors are currently sleeping Northward, in the mountain range by the sea. Since I can't build a decent time machine with the materials at hand and Cassiopeia doesn't have enough mana to duplicate the procedure that brought us here, we'll have to contact them personally and hope they are helpful enough."

"Right, that makes sense," Konoka hummed, waving at Makie and Yuuna as they arrived to the clearing. "Of course gods would exist long before mankind! Well, you guys probably didn't have a lot to do before there were any humans to pray to you, so your friends shouldn't think too much of helping us, Sku-chan!"

"I hope so at least…" Skuld grumbled. "Wait, are they playing freaking football right now? Seriously?!"

 

[OverMaster]

The Illiad, Reborn!

Achilles made an imperious gesture with his right hand.

"Tell the Master," he told Mash, "that I shall not fight until my conditions are met and he has summoned Patroclus!"

She turned around and began walking back towards the battlefield, grumbling. "This is what we get out of summoning someone whose legend is built around a refusal to go to war..."

 

[Akuma-Heika]

," Misora said."It's like in that movie where they step on a prehistoric butterfly and change history, right? But—"

"A book," Konoka said.

Misora looked at her. "Excuse me?"

"That story started as a book, it only was adapted for a movie much later,

Click to shrink...

Not recognizing this at all.

 

[OverMaster]

Ray Bradbury's A Sound of Thunder.

Technically it's a short story within an anthology book but that doesn't have the same ring to it.

 

[OverMaster]

A Scene from Crisis on Actually Infinite Earths.

"Aw, isn't he a cute! Goochy goochy goo!" Naruto cooed at the gigantic baby. "What's his name?"

"Naruto Smith," Rick scoffed.

Uzumaki blinked. "What? You yanking my chain, old man?"

"He's... not, actually, not this time," Summer said uncomfortably. "We named him after your show."

"After me?! Really?! Wow, what a coincidence! The multiverse sure is small!" Uzumaki smiled, then grimaced to himself. "It'd be wonderful if not for the part about my whole life being some sort of series for children..."

"It could be worse if you ask me," Rick said apathetically.

"So... who are his parents?" Uzumaki asked.

Morty and Summer blushed and looked aside in opposite directions.

Naruto waited, then asked, "What? You guys don't know?"

Kushina laughed and patted his back. "Oh, Naruto-kun...! You don't get hints easily, do you? Wait 'til we get to the Decadentverse and I'll explain it...!"

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Duck Tales.

"Golly, Mr. Mc Dee!" Launchpad laughed, straightening back on the pilot's seat. "That was a good crash, right? Ol' Betty won't be flying back, unless there's a really good workshop 'round here… Um, Mr. Mc Dee? Why aren't you yelling at me yet?"

He looked aside at the mangled, bloodied bodies splattered all over the cockpit, and cringed. "Aw, geez…!"

Webby's bow and some gore dripped onto him from the ceiling.

Much later, he walked away from an unmarked medium sized makeshift grave, four unmarked small makeshift graves, and a gigantic grave marked 'BETTY'. He stuck his hands in his pockets and whistled innocently, sweating a lot.

Naturally, Gladstone Gander ended up inheriting the whole fortune shortly after, somehow. He seemed rather willing to give Launchpad a raise, but for some reason he declined it and instead moved to Saint Canard.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Marvel Zombies.

"No... please! Don't hurt me!" the cornered man begged. "I'll do anything you want! I'll lead you to other survivors... I can do that! W-With my powers, I can just go anywhere!"

They squinted at him through the darkness, leaning closer, and then the rotting Wolverine sneered in disappointment. "Oh. It's just you."

"Huh?" the cornered man blinked.

The undead Spider-Man sighed and turned around. "I shoulda known. I knew he looked familiar, even from afar..."

Their prey-- or not, apparently-- gasped as he saw them leaving the alley. "Aren't you going to eat me?!"

"Eating you?" Giant Man looked back at him, over his shoulder. "How could we even do that?! You aren't even made of meat!"

"We are hungry, not thirsty!" Zombie Power Man flipped him the bird. "Get lost, loser!"

And then they were gone.

Hydro-Man just stood there, trembling, for a few moments. Then he went back home ignoring the screams of the dying, plopped down on his couch, and breathed heavily.

"What am I supposed to do from now on...?"

Eventually, he settled for collecting stamps.

He had all the time in the world now, for better or worse.

 

[OverMaster]

Unequally Infinity War: Epilogue.

Thanos smiled. "I wish for," he said, "half of all sapient life in this universe to disappear."

The Mad Titan snapped his fingers.

---

Negi sighed very sadly. "Okay, class, let's start with today's lesson. We must go on, and I'm sure that eventually someone will find a solution for this, probably involving convoluted time travel."

"You're much more of a dick than XEBEC you," Asuna said, sitting there with Chisame, Hakase, Misora, Ayaka, Natsumi, Misa, Chao, Satsuki, Yue, Zazie, Sayo and Haruna. "I mean, he completely broke down after just XEBEC me died!"

"He's still functional just because Chisame's still here," Misa huffed, arms folded and mouth pouting.

"Well, excuse me for surviving!" an irritated Chisame said. "Why don't you go read UQ Holder if you want to see my death so much!?"

"You take everything so personally," Misa rolled her eyes. "Besides, Asuna, he's nowhere as much of a jerk as Manga Him! Dude put you in a personality-erasing sleep lasting almost a century!"

"You don't look that troubled over your friends either," Asuna observed.

Misa threw her hands up. "I trust Sakurako's luck! Believe me, in five years she'll be back from a nice vacation wherever she went, and she'll be lording how much younger than me she's now, all day long, every day!"

---

Outside, Itoshiki sniffed and prepared his noose.

"Sensei, what's the problem?" Chiri asked him, standing by the tree with the rest of Class 3-F. "Against all odds, the whole lot of us survived!"

"And that's not normal!" a fairly pleased Nami smiled.

Itoshiki just clenched his teeth and hung himself again.

 

[OverMaster]

What if Skuld's Cousin Came to Visit?

The large, muscular blond man noticed something. "Skuld!" he called out. "This restless spirit hunting these grounds, is she a friend of yours?"

Sayo began panicking. "Oh, oh, oh dear! C-Can you see me!? Of course you could, I mean... I'm sorry, are you th-the god of death?!"

Skuld sighed and walked closer. "Yes, Thor, her name's Sayo..."

Thor rubbed his chin. "I see! Is her body buried nearby?"

Kazumi blinked. "What does that have to do with anything?"

---

By the unearthed grave, Thor placed a sailor fuku on top of the bones, raised mighty Mjolnir, and chanted, "By the name of Allfather Odin, Aisaka Sayo, be whole!"

Brynhildr squealed fangirlishly. "Big Brother is soooo cool...!"

Lightning crashed onto the hammer as he swung it down on the bones, and Sayo's flesh and blood regenerated body sprang back to her feet, squeezing the clothes against herself. "This, this is fantastic...!"

Negi slammed a fist on his palm. "Ah, of course! He would use to eat the goats pulling on his chariot, then revive them from their bones, as told in the epic of the travel to Utgard...!"

Skuld groaned as Kazumi and Sayo danced around. "Yeah, well. He'll always show off this way whenever he gets a few beers on him..."

Yuuna paused. "... damn it, I knew Dad shouldn't have ever cremated Mom!"

 

[OverMaster]

Written on Stone.

---

They sat under the stars now, by the crashed resort, gathered around a large campfire and eating the provisions they had just cooked.

"It's interesting, how the crickets sound just the same now as they will in the future," Yuuna told Makie while Skuld laid out her intended plan of action for everyone.

Makie blinked. "Eh? Why would they sound any different?"

Skuld made a loud sound with her throat to silence them, then kept on ranting for the team. "Now, when I take you there, you'll better be quiet the whole time and let me do all the talking. If Amaterasu asks you anything, answer truthfully but with as few words as possible. Actually, you just stay by the door of her temple and I'll go inside on my own. Well, it should be more like a cavern at this time period, but my point stands..."

"Skuld-san..." Ayaka said, looking at the sky.

"Yes, Class Rep?" Skuld said.

The aristocrat pointed upwards. "This isn't Japan's skyline. Even a few million years ago, it should be basically the same..."

"Eh?" Skuld said, following Ayaka's finger with her eyes. "That's absurd, why wouldn't we be in Japan...? Oh."

"Do you see now?" Ayaka asked, biting on her lower lip. "Let's see, if I remember Chizuru's lessons correctly, this should be part of the Western skyline, probably European or-"

"France," Skuld said faintly. "We are in what will come to be known as France."

Saber made a marked gesture of disgust, pulling back from her large cup of noodles.

Everyone then glared quietly at Evangeline, until Skuld asked, "Where did you exactly first establish your resort?"

"France, shouldn't it be obvious at this point?" the diminutive blonde asked back bitterly. "I've never moved it across time before, how could I know it'd take us back where I first created it? So what's the difference, we'll just contact some local Celtic gods! You are on good enough terms with the Celts, aren't you?"

"Why France?" Asuna asked. "I was under the impression you were Scottish?"

"I am!" Eva said irritably. "I just happened to spend a short time in France honing my magic, that's all! Not this far into the past, of course, so I still don't know why that freak reaction took us here and now..."

"So you had a French teacher for this kind of dimensional building thing?" Misa asked.

"I am self taught!" Eva barked in anger.

Skuld made a little raspy sound, glancing aside, something that only Keiichi, Makie, Chachamaru, Madoka and Konoka noticed. But none of them really wanted to point this out.

 

[OverMaster]

OverMaster Writes for Every Franchise in Existence.

---

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

"Your limo will be ready by weekend, Mr. Bunny, Sir," the chief of mechanics promised.

He chewed on his carrot. One of the mechanics quickly set an ashtray under the falling carrot bits to sell them in eBay. "Sure hope so, Doc. Sure hope so!"

"I guarantee, Mr. Bunny," the chief said. "I'll put my best man on the job. Roger! Hey, Roger, c'me here!"

"Roger?" Bugs blinked, looking at the figure stepping closer from the other end of the workshop. He smiled akwardly, wiping the thick grease off his hands with a cloth. "Roger! It's you! I hadn't seen you for, what, twenty years?!"

"Hello, Bugs," he nodded, with his actual voice, the calm, slightly weary real one, without the nervous lisping or the manic energy. "Just watched your latest movie, you were great..."

"Son of a Yosemite gun, Roger!" the other rabbit walked to him and slapped his shoulders. "What happened to you, man?! You just dropped outta sight and never answered any calls! I was half-thinking they'd Dipped you!"

Roger laughed blandly. "Oh, no, no. I just... retired, that's all. The times changed a lot, and I couldn't cut it anymore..."

"What are you saying, your comedy style's timeless! Look, I can put a word for ya, we're doing this revival for HBO Max, and I'm sure we can negotiate the details with Mike..."

He shook his head. "No. No. Thank you, Bugs, but... it's not even me, really. It's Jess, actually. She is... problematic, now."

The other rabbit fell silent before mouthing a quiet "... oh."

Roger looked aside and rasped. "You know me, Bugs. Without Jess, the job just ain't worth it. This is a good life, too... as long as it's spent with her."

Bugs couldn't argue, so he just shook his hand, exchanged a few more token words with him, and left for home.

Some old things, he pondered that night, were actually best left untouched.

It was for everyone's best.

 

[OverMaster]

I Raised a Teenage Writer!

Nabiki frowned at the manuscript Haruna had just handed her. "What's this?"

"A first draft of my autobiography," her daughter said. "I wanted you to read it."

"My services as a proofreader cost--" Nabiki began.

"Yue is taking care of that, this is just a family token of appreciation."

"Ah. Thanks. But aren't you too young to write an autobiography?"

"I've led an interesting life," Paru explained. "Besides, the sooner I start writing installements, the more sequels I can release to cash in!"

Nabiki smiled warmly. "That's my girl!" She blinked as Haruna gave her another, slimmer manuscript. "And... this?"

"The prequel."

Nabiki flipped through it. "This is porn starring Ranma and me."

Haruna nodded. "It's how I came to be! So, prequel!"

"All right, fine, but I am going to have to charge you for THIS one..."

 

[OverMaster]

Tales from Haruna's Childhood.

"I'm home...!" Akane sighed, leaving her shoes by the door and taking the dress jacket off her Ofice Lady suit.

Haruna-chan ran over to greet her happily. "Auntie, Auntie! I cooked dinner! Try it!" the child giggled, extending a large spoonful of soup towards her.

Akane leaned down and sipped. She raised an eyebrow. "This... This is great!" she said. "Did you cook it all by yourself?"

"Yeah, she did!" Ranma answered from the Dojo, where he was doing katas. "Kasumi taught her well, huh?"

Haruna smiled very sweetly. "I'm gonna be a great cook!"

Akane smiled back and patted her head. "I'm sure you will! If you'll excuse me, Auntie will put something comfy and then join you for dinner, okay?"

She made it to her bedroom, locked herself in, and pulled a notebook from under the pillow.

List of People I have to Top at Cooking:
Kasumi
Ranma
Kodachi
ShanPu
Ukyo
Cologne
Madoka-san
Homura-san
Makie-chan
Satsuki-chan
Akari
Ran
Konatsu
Konoka-chan
(Maehara) Shinobu-chan
Hinako-sensei
Rin-chan and Sakura-chan
Ryouga-kun
Kaede-chan
The twins
Miyake Shinobu
That weird stalker kid with the JIIIIIIIIIIIIII look
Narusegawa
Tohno Akiha
And her maids
Shirou-kun
Sasuke
The other Sasuke
Azusa
Gosunkugi-kun
Nabiki
The Gambling King
Tsubasa
Uncle Genma
The Joker

Akane wrote 'Haruna-chan' at the bottom of the list and sighed. "Someday...!"