[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[AndrewJTalon]

Jaune woke up the next morning to see Pyrrha emerging from the shower. She was wrapped in a towel, and as usual it was very tight on her. As usual, Jaune did his best to keep his eyes on hers: She was his partner, after all. And she was probably tired of guys leering at her.



Jaune: "Hey. You're up early."



Pyrrha: "I just went out for some early training. You were fast asleep and I didn't want to wake you. You had a rough day yesterday."



Jaune: "Yeah but... Well... It had a bright spot."



Pyrrha: "Oh? How so?"



Jaune: "I uh... I asked someone to the dance."



Pyrrha: "Oh. I'm sorry that Weiss didn't-"



Jaune: "Oh no! No, they said said! It wasn't Weiss, it was Yang!"



Pyrrha: "What? Yang?!"



Jaune: "Is... Is there something wrong with that?"



Pyrrha: "I... N-No, of course not."



Jaune: frown "Nobody's asked you yet?"



Pyrrha: "I... W-Well, um... No."



Jaune: "Ugh. They're all idiots! Any guy would be lucky to have you on their arm! They should praise the Tablebreaker for it! Jerks."



Pyrrha: pleased flush "You mean that?"



Jaune: "Absolutely! Hey... I'll help you, Pyr. You deserve to have someone take you to the Dance."



Pyrrha: "I-No, I don't really need-"



Jaune: "It's okay, Pyr! I'm going to help you. It's what a good partner should do, right?"



Pyrrha: "No, I-"



Jaune hugs her.



Jaune: "Don't worry. I'll find you the best date I can."



Jaune goes into the shower as Pyrrha stares after him forlornly.



Pyrrha: "... You are the best date I could find..."



Nora: "Seriously. Why can't you just tell him?"



Pyrrha: "No... I would never know for sure."



Nora: "Then... How about I break Yang's knees so she can't go?"



Pyrrha: "..." shakes her head rapidly "N-No! Of course not!"



Nora: "Oh! So you want to do it yourself?"



Pyrrha: "Y-NO!" sighs "Is there anyone else as bad at romance as I am in this school?"



Elsewhere...



Ruby: "Wha-What do you mean you can't take me to the dance?!"



Sky, cringing back in a hallway that Ruby cornered him in: "I-I just can't, Ruby!"



Ruby: "Is-Is it me? Am I not pretty enough or-?"



Sky: "No! You're very pretty, Ruby! Totally! And I liked gaming with you!"



Ruby: "So why?! I mean, my sister's going with Jaune so she won't get mad!"



Sky: "Yeah, during the dance. But what about after? I don't want her to punch my head off! I'm sorry Ruby, I like you, but I'm just not brave enough to risk your big sister kicking my ass. Sorry."



Sky heads off. Ruby pouts.



Ruby: "Hmph..."



Instead of crying though, Ruby comes up with a plan.



She messages Jaune.



Ruby: Jaune?



Jaune: Yes Ruby?



Ruby: I need you to make sure Yang is so lovey dovey and happy during the Dance that she won't even think of punching off my date's head!



Jaune: ... Okay... How do I do that?



Ruby: You had a girlfriend before! Just do what you did then!



Jaune: But



Ruby: Pleeasssseee?



She made sure to send a gif of herself with puppy dog eyes on full.



Jaune: ... I was going to do it anyway.



Ruby: Thank you!



Ruby beamed. Now to find someone not afraid of her sister who could take her to the dance!



Elsewhere, Whitley Schnee, visiting Beacon on business for his father, felt a shiver go up his spine.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Prunella Glocken: The Two-Faced Councilwoman

Basic Information

• Name: Prunella Glocken
• Age: 49
• Gender: Female
• Occupation: Councilwoman of Vale
• Inspiration: Cruella de Vil (101 Dalmatians)
• Appearance: Prunella has a striking presence with sleek, dark black hair with a white stripe styled in a sharp bob, reminiscent of her noble lineage. She wears tailored black suits with a dramatic fur collar, exuding wealth and power, paired with a white dress shirt. Her piercing blue eyes and sharp features give her a commanding, almost predatory aura, fitting her conniving nature.

Background

Prunella hails from the Glocken family, an illustrious Valean dynasty that once held noble titles before the kingdom's transition to a democratic council system. The Glockens adapted, shifting their influence into politics, where they've maintained a grip on power for generations. Prunella, the latest in this line, grew up steeped in privilege, learning early how to manipulate public perception to maintain her family's status. Now a late middle-aged councilwoman, she's a prominent figure in Vale's political landscape, known for her fiery speeches and polarizing stances.

Public Persona

Outwardly, Prunella positions herself as a progressive champion of the downtrodden. She vocally supports Faunus rights, often decrying the Huntsmen and Vale's military as tools of oppression against the lower classes. She frequently clashes with Ozpin, criticizing his leadership at Beacon Academy as elitist and disconnected, arguing that his focus on training Huntsmen perpetuates a cycle of violence. Prunella advocates for expansive social welfare programs, claiming they'll uplift the poor, reduce negative emotions, and thus weaken the Grimm threat. Her rhetoric resonates with many, earning her a loyal voter base among Vale's working class and Faunus communities.

True Nature

Beneath her altruistic facade, Prunella is deeply corrupt, vain, and melodramatic. She's obsessed with her public image, often staging theatrical displays of compassion—think dramatic tears at charity galas—to bolster her reputation. In truth, she's a master of deceit, using her social programs as a front to launder money through various charities and NGOs. These schemes funnel public funds into her personal accounts, all while she secures votes by appearing to care for the marginalized. Her vanity drives her to indulge in lavish lifestyles, funded by her illicit gains, and she revels in the power her position affords her.

Political Maneuverings and Downfall

Prunella's corruption makes her a prime target for manipulation. Cinder Fall, posing as an agent of a political rival, blackmails her with evidence of her money laundering. Believing she's merely outmaneuvering another council member, Prunella grants Cinder access to Vale's defense systems, thinking it's a minor concession to protect her own interests. Her shortsightedness and greed blind her to Cinder's true intentions. This betrayal directly enables the Vytal Festival terrorist attacks, as Vale's defenses crumble under Cinder's orchestrated assault. Prunella's actions, driven by her corruption and lack of foresight, play a key role in Vale's downfall, cementing her as an unwitting pawn in Cinder's larger scheme.

Relationships

• Ozpin: A constant political adversary. Prunella publicly undermines him, framing his methods as outdated and oppressive, while privately resenting his moral authority and influence.
• Rufus Winchester: While Rufus Winchester is a blowhard and hotblooded, there is no denying that as a former Huntsman he is a genuine about improving Vale's defenses and protecting the common people. Prunella attacks him as a racist and bigot, while resenting how easily he can still connect with the common man despite his noble lineage.
• Cinder Fall: Initially an unknown manipulator, Cinder exploits Prunella's weaknesses, using blackmail to secure her cooperation. Prunella underestimates Cinder, a fatal mistake.
• Vale's Citizens: She maintains a carefully curated image as their savior, but her true disdain for the "lower classes" she claims to uplift is evident in her private dealings.

Personality Traits

• Conniving: Prunella is a master schemer, always calculating how to turn situations to her advantage, whether through votes or illicit profits.
• Vain: Her obsession with appearances—both physical and political—drives much of her behavior, from her dramatic outfits to her staged public displays.
• Melodramatic: She thrives on theatrics, turning even minor political debates into grand spectacles to sway public opinion.
• Corrupt: Her moral compass is nonexistent; she sees her position as a means to personal gain, not public good.
• Shortsighted: Her focus on immediate benefits—like protecting her secrets from blackmail—blinds her to the larger consequences of her actions.

Story Purpose:

If Vale falling seems down to Cinder's plot armor, well, this can help with that. Making a corrupt Councilmember the reason that Cinder could get access to the Valean Defense Network and even the CCT helps worldbuild, gives Cinder more cunning, and helps show Salem as an intelligent threat. It also gives you another political character to use as either a recurring antagonist or a hate sink or even someone seeking redemption.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

On a lighter note, Prunella Glocken would be a regular adversary of Councilman Jaune Arc. Mainly because he misunderstood her intentions.

Prunella: "Now Jaune-May I call you Jaune?"

Jaune: "I guess."

Prunella: "You're brand new to politics! Your star has risen quite dramatically! But stars do need guidance to navigate, don't they?"

Jaune: "Yes."

Prunella: "And you need to be careful with who you ally yourself with. Or who you learn from. You need to embrace a larger viewpoint, so you're not led astray. Get everyone's viewpoint so you can be well informed! I can help you gain wisdom, so you'll be a fine Councilman."

Jaune: "Uh... I appreciate that."

Prunella: "Indeed, we could form a very close relationship."

Jaune: Wait... Is she coming onto me?

Prunella: "A very close bond that would benefit us both!"

Jaune: Oh Breaker she is!

Prunella: "You can always benefit from a woman with more... Experience, yes?"

Jaune: "Ahhh... Councilwoman Glocken, I'm very flattered. Maybe even curious. But I think that's way too fast for me! I-I mean we've just met!"

Prunella: "... Did you think I was coming onto you?"

Jaune: "Uhhhhhh..."

Prunella: "Well! It is flattering for me to still get a young man's attention, but I'm married... Unless you were interested?"

Jaune: "Um... No."

Prunella: scowl... All smiles "Of course! Just a little joke, ahahaha!"

Jaune: "Hahahaha! Haaa..."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The grand ballroom of Mistral's elite gala shimmered with opulence, chandeliers casting a golden glow over silk-clad nobles and clinking glasses. The air was thick with perfume, ambition, and the faint hum of Dust-powered ornaments. Pyrrha Nikos stood at the bar, her crimson gown hugging her athletic frame, her emerald eyes scanning the crowd with polite detachment. She was here as a guest of honor, her status as the Invincible Girl a magnet for attention, though she longed for the quiet of Beacon's dorms. A familiar, sleazy voice slithered into her ear, and her stomach churned as Jackie Arc slid beside her, his smirk as oily as his slicked-back blonde hair.

"Hey, Pyrrha, right? My cousin's partner?" Jackie said, leaning against the bar, his tailored suit slightly rumpled, a stolen glass of champagne in hand.

Pyrrha's smile froze, her voice tight with disbelief. "Jackie?! How did you get here—?"
Jackie's grin widened, his dark blue eyes glinting with smug pride. "I've got my means! Just said I'm related to the former Empress of Vytal! …And
borrowed a ticket. Ya know." He winked, as if his dishonesty was a charming quirk.

Pyrrha's grip on her glass tightened, her voice flat. "I'm leaving."

"Wait! Wait…" Jackie said, his hand darting out, not touching her but close enough to make her skin crawl. "Hang on… Listen. I know you're pining hard for my cousin."

Pyrrha's face flushed, her eyes widening, her voice a stammer. "Wh-What?!"

"Yeah!" Jackie said, his smirk growing, his tone dripping with false sympathy. "I can tell. I also know… He's just too damn thickheaded and dense. He'll never make a move. But…" He leaned closer, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial purr. "You've got me."

Pyrrha's expression went blank, her silence a warning as dangerous as a drawn blade. Jackie, oblivious, pressed on, his ego blinding him. "I'm basically Jauney, but I'm not stupid. If I was him, I would've made you my wife and started making like bunnies! So… How about it? You get to live out your fantasy, and I get what I want, too. What do you say, hm?" He leaned forward, his breath hot and sour. "Want to be with an Arc who won't disappoint you?"

Pyrrha's eyes narrowed, but a sweet, chilling smile curved her lips. Her hand rose, hovering beside Jackie's head, her fingers twitching as if itching to act. Jackie's smirk faltered, his eyes darting to her hand, then back to her face, hope flickering in his sleazy gaze.

"Yes! YESSSS!" Jackie whispered, misreading her entirely.

Pyrrha's voice was honeyed, lethal, each word precise. "If you don't get out of here in the next ten seconds, I'm going to use my Semblance to give you a grand mal seizure and make you die. Do you understand?"

Jackie blinked, his bravado crumbling, but he clung to delusion. "…So that's a maybe?"

Pyrrha's smile didn't waver, her voice dropping to a deadly whisper.

"Five seconds."

Jackie's face paled, his champagne glass slipping from his hand to shatter on the floor. He turned and bolted, shoving through the crowd, his stolen ticket flapping from his pocket as he fled for his life. Pyrrha watched him go, her smile fading to a weary sigh, her hand lowering as she turned back to the bar, signaling for a stronger drink.

The gala's chatter resumed, oblivious to the near-disaster, but Pyrrha's thoughts drifted to Jaune—dense, earnest, infuriatingly oblivious Jaune—and a small, genuine smile tugged at her lips, untouched by the shadow of his cousin's creepiness.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Spoiler

Type: Airborne Corvette
Manufacturer: Neith Armaments
Origin: Vale
Top Speed: 420 mph
Service Ceiling: 40,000 feet
Range: 10,000 miles
Length: 80m
Width: 94m
Height: 18m
Weight: 1,000 tons
Propulsion:
2 x Beltane P322 Dust reactor-powered turbofan engines
1 x Beltane G14 Gravity Dust Projector Systems
Crew: 5-10
Cargo: 30 tons
Troops: 20
Maximum Evacuation Limit: 40
Armament:
2 x Cappadocia 155mm Dust Round Cannons in mountings on the wings
2 x Redspot Multifunction Small Missile Launchers x 40 rounds each
2 x Winchester M88 30mm CWIS autocannon in retractable turrets (dorsal and ventral)
1 x Hard-Light Dust Pulse Emitter (Optional)
4 x Balor ASM-44 Anti-Ship Missiles (Optional)
Njord QSA-568A Jammer System

Brief: A sleek and efficient corvette, the Phantom is a prolific vessel with the Valean Defense Force. Fast, maneuverable, and fairly well armed for its size, it handles multiple missions from escorting Banshee-class carriers to patrolling Vale's borders to Grimm interdiction. It's aerodynamic shape gives it great range and maneuverability in combat with threat forces or Grimm, and carries enough firepower to threaten even large Grimm. Its sensor suite is also very advanced and the jammer system combined with its small size and advanced engines allow it to be fairly stealthy. Certain models in the VDF special forces are heavily modified with sensor jammers, sound suppression technology, and experimental Hardlight Dust EMP generators.

In concert with strike fighters from Banshee carriers and missiles from frigates, the Phantom provides close air support to Hunters and ground forces and can rapidly deploy small Hunter strike teams. It can also serve as a patrol vessel to engage bandits and pirates, and support strike fighters as a Forward Air Control platform. It does have some weaknesses though: It can only carry four anti-ship missiles in comparison to a frigate's 16-20 on external hardpoints, its range is not as great as a frigate or a carrier's, the standard model is nowhere near as stealthy as the special model, and its main guns are not on turrets, the ship must be turned to target them. It relies on the carrier it is accompanying for refueling of its Dust reactors, or must land at various bases.

All of that said, the Phantom is a popular vessel in the VDF and quite good at its roles.

Note:

Yes, it's the X-70B Phantom from Star Wars: The Old Republic. I thought it would be a good fit for a small combat airship for Vale.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Nora ducks behind Jaune after shooting a arrow at a random girl who just happened to be walking by

Jaune: "Wha- Nora!"

Arslan who was just minding her own business before being shot by an arrow looks up to see Jaune and thinks to herself "MINE!"

Jaune: "Arslan before you try anything, just know there's already three women who are trying to get me as well and they'll stop at nothing to destroy anything or anyone that get's in there way. So knowing that, you should probably... and she's already gone off to fight them. Sigh Good job Nora, now there's gonna even more property damage to clean up."

Nora: "True, but Pyrrha and Yang alone couldn't hold off Goodwitch forever. So this way those two get backup, and we get more time to save Renny from that no good flying orangenette hussie!"

Jaune: "Fair enough, but you're still grounded after this."

Momentarily, thanks to the fact Penny is not using her rocket boots at full blast, Jaune and Nora catch up with Penny and Ren.

Penny: "Nora! I am feeling such passion for Ren!" Squeezes him "Is this what they call 'love'?"

Jaune: "No! No, it's been magically induced because Nora's an idiot!"

Nora: "HEY!"

Jaune: "Did you not think of just ASKING Ren out?"

Nora: "Of course I did! And I said it! And did it! And it didn't work! So I had to escalate to using a magical set of bow and arrows to try and get him to feel how I do!"

Jaune: "Okay... Ren? If you'd be willing to be honest with your feelings please?"

Yang: "THERE HE IS!"

Jaune: "Maybe hurry? Like NOW?"

Ren: "Nora... I do care for you. But I'm afraid to take that step because I feel guilty."

Nora: "Guilty? For what?"

Ren: "For living while my friends and family died. And... If I lost you, what would I have then?"

Nora: "Oh Ren, you shouldn't blame yourself for something like. What happened was completely out of our control. The fact that we survived it was a miracle in it of itself."

Ren: "That doesn't change the fact that I lived while others more deserving than I did not. Why should I be allowed to have what they could not?"

Nora: "You lived, that's why. Believing that you are unworthy of having the life those people could have had is dumb. If anything you should be experiencing all that life has to offer. Do all the things they didn't, couldn't, and will no longer be able to do. I don't know why we survived whereas others did not, but I do know it would be a disservice to those people if we didn't use the gift given to us to try and live a life free from regret. You deserve to be happy Ren, to have a life, and though I won't force you to do anything, I think I can help give you it."

Ren: "... How?"

Nora: Grins cheerfully "By being with you, silly!"

Ren: "... Then will you be with me?"

Nora: "Of course I will!" Hugs him

Penny: "Oh... I am now feeling sad and jealous. How should I react?"

Jaune: "It's not real, Penny! None of the feelings induced by the arrows are real!"

Nora: "Nuh uh! They're totally real! It can't work with nothing! That's what the little magic man who gave me them said!"

Jaune: "In what world would some of the strongest, most attractive, and highly Intelligent women I know be in any way shape or form attracted to me!? At least to the degree that getting shot with an apparently magic arrow would get them to fall in love with me."

Pyrrha, Yang, Glynda, and Arslan blush at Jaune's statement about them, but are overall angry at his belief that they wouldn't be able to fall in love with him. Which also makes them all pause.

Jaune: "Okay so let's break the damn curse already!"

Nora: "Spell!"

Jaune: "WHATEVER!" Snaps the bow in half "... Did that work?"

Nora: "No idea!"

Jaune: "No idea?! You didn't even ask the guy how to make it stop?!"

Nora: "... Ohhhh... Shoot. I knew I forgot something!"

Ren: "You really should expect this sort of thing from her by now."

Meanwhile...

Whitley: "... Why are we making out?"

Ruby: "Is that a problem?"

Whitley: "... I suppose not?"

Ruby: "YAY!"

Blake: "Oh thank the Horned God, Cardin's off with that rabbit girl... Sun! Sun, are you-?"

Weiss and Sun are making out.

Blake: "WHAT?!"

Sun: "What? You said we weren't a thing."

Blake: "W-WE WERE!"

Sun: "News to me!"

Written with help from Red Dragon Empress

 

[AndrewJTalon]

It had been a very, very long day. Teams RWBY and JNPR staggered back to their dormrooms, exhausted, filthy, and in terrible moods.

Except for Nora and Ruby, who were quite chipper all things considered.

Ruby: "Wow... We totally saved a village from an oil tanker spill, guys! Wasn't that great?"

Yang: "Yes... Except for the part where the tanker blew up in our faces."

Ruby: "I said I was sorry! I didn't use just the right mixture of Dust!"

Nora: "But it sure was awesome to watch it explode, right guys? Right guys?"

Pyrrha: "... I'm not talking to you for a week."

Ren: sighs

Jaune: "No pancakes for a month, Nora."

Nora: "What?! COME ON! We saved the village!"

Jaune: "Yeah! And we got blown up instead!"

Ruby: "It wasn't that bad!"

Yang: "It was."

Blake: "It was worse."

Weiss: twitches as Jaune carries her "S-So... So much filth... So much dirt...!"

Jaune: "We're almost there Weiss, it's okay..."

Yang: "Why aren't you carrying me, your sweet, loving fiance?"

Blake: "Or me? Your actual fiance?"

Pyrrha: "Neither of you are his fiances, shut up!"

Jaune: sighs "Because she won't let go of me."

Ruby: "Weiss!"

Weiss: "So filthyyyyy!"

Jaune groans.

Jaune: "Guys, let's just get to the common room, take some showers, go to bed and-"

He opens the door to the common room. Both teams blink at the interior, which is shining and spotless. There are birds flying about, organizing things, while a few raccoons and deer sweep the floors. A beautiful blonde woman in a yellow dress with an apron over it is cleaning and singing.

Lilac: "Lalala, lalalala-Oh! Jaune!"

The beautiful woman walks up and hugs Jaune happily, never minding how filthy he is.

Jaune: "L-Lilac?!"

Pyrrha: eyebrow twitch "Who is this, Jaune?"

Jaune: "Oh, uh, this is my big sister Lilac. Lilac Arc."

Weiss: groans "Another one?"

Lilac: "Oh, you poor dears! Quickly now, quickly!"

The birds and mice and other creatures all fly up or scurry to the Hunters-in-Training.

Ruby: "ACK!"

Nora: "EEP!"

Weiss: "What?!"

Blake: "Huh?!"

Yang: "HEY!"

Pyrrha: "Wha-?!"

Ren: "Huh?"

The worst of the muck is wiped away by the critters, who run off to put their washcloths in a laundry bag. Lilac beams.

Lilac: "There, much better! Now, you all get into the showers! The baths have been drawn and the temperature should be perfect!"

Ruby: "Ah... Um... W-We all...Bathe together?"

Everyone goes bright red at that, save for Ren, who cocks an eyebrow.

Lilac: "Of course! You're all good boys and girls, and you should save water! But if you don't hurry, you'll miss dinner!"

A veritable feast is being cooked on the stove, and a rabbit is tending the pots carefully.

Jaune: smiles "Thanks Lilac. I appreciate it."

Lilac: "Awww! I'm always willing to help my cute, kind, strong little brother! Now go get cleaned up!"

In the bathroom... The girls all look one way while the boys look the other as they clean themselves up.

Pyrrha: "So, um... She seems very nice?"

Ruby: "Yeah! And her Semblance lets her control animals?"

Jaune: sighs "No, she's... Just like that. She's so kind and nice that almost anything will obey her."

Yang: "That's just ridiculous!"

Jaune: "Then why aren't we trying to peek at each other?"

A moment of silence.

Ruby: "Trying implies that I failed!"

Yang: "RUBY!"

Click to shrink...

They came out, clean and dressed in their casual clothes. A veritable feast was laid out on the tables. Lilac was standing there with a wide smile.

Lilac: "Oh good! Come on, let's eat!"

Ruby: "Where did your animal friends go?"

Lilac: "Oh, I told them they could go. They don't like spending too much time indoors." She picks up Zwei and cuddles him "Except for you, you cuddly wuddly little doggie woggie~! Yes, yes you do~!"

Yang and Ruby: scowl, mutter "Traitor."
Jaune: "Easy Lilac, easy."

Lilac: "Mm? OH! Sorry!" Hands Zwei back to Yang and Ruby "Didn't mean to make you jealous! He's really very loyal!"

Zwei: whines and struggles towards Lilac... Even as Ruby and Yang glare at him

They did sit down, Yang and Blake taking either side of Jaune. Even as Pyrrha sat across from him with Ruby. Weiss sat with Nora and Ren. Lilac began to dole out food, still whistling her happy tune. She sits at the head of the table and bows her head.

Lilac: "Let's say grace!"

Blake: "I'm not a believer."

Lilac: "Oh that's all right! Is it okay if I pray for you anyway?"

Blake: "I... Sure?"

Ren: "I'm a believer in Pathism."

Lilac: "Oh. Can I pray for you too then?"

Ren: "Yes?"

Lilac: "Wonderful! Anyone else?"

Nora: "I believe in pancakes!"

Lilac: "But dear, why believe in pancakes and not the one who makes them for you?"

Nora: gasp "I never thought of it that way! REN! YOU'RE MY GOD!"

Ren: "Not what I think she was getting at."

Nora: "Oh! You're right, Jaune makes me pancakes too! Hrrrrmmm... Miss Lilac? I have a theological issue!"

Lilac: "We'll talk about it after we pray!"

Nora: "Okay!"

Jaune: sighs

Lilac: bows her head "Thank you Heavenly Emperor for this meal, good friends, and wonderful company! And may Jaune and his friends triumph in the Vytal Tournament! But without anyone getting hurt too badly! Amen!"

They dug in...
Yang: "... Jaune? Did your sister teach you how to cook?"

Jaune: "Um... She did, yes. But I'm not as good as her."

Lilac: "Oh don't be so modest, Jaune! You'll get better! I can teach you!"

Ruby: "B-Better...?"

Weiss: deep breath "It's... Incredibly good."

Lilac: "Aw, thank you!"

Pyrrha: "Yes, it's wonderful!"

Blake: "It is extremely good. Thank you."

Nora: "Wow... Like hugs on my tongue!"

Ren: "Yes, it is very good."

Lilac: "You're all very welcome!" beams "Especially Jaune's wonderful fiances! I'm so glad you'll be joining our family!"

Weiss: "Wait-Fiances plural?!"

Lilac: "Yes! I mean, Nana Arturia said you were marrying little Ruby, and Great-Aunt Morgana said you were marrying Miss Nikos, and Mrs. Xiao-Long came by to yell and scream at Mom about you getting engaged to her great-granddaughter Yang, and Uncle Phillip told us that Miss Yoruichi said you were engaged to Miss Belladonna-So welcome to the family!"

Jaune: "I-Hang on-!"

Lilac: "Oh don't worry about a thing, Jaune! Aren't you lucky, four wives!"

Jaune: "N-No, we're not really-!"

Lilac: "Mom and Dad are going to be thrilled when they visit and meet all the parents!"

Jaune: "THEY'RE WHAT?!"

Ruby: gasp "I'm engaged too?!"
Pyrrha: happy gasp "I'm engaged to Jaune?!"

Yang: "Oh, well, um, eheh, yeah! Totally!"

Blake: "I'M ALSO PREGNANT!"

Jaune: "BLAAAKE!"

Weiss: scowls "... And why didn't anyone lie about me being engaged to Arc?"

Zwei: whines and climbs into her lap
Weiss: sighs and scratches behind his ears "At least you're here for me."

Zwei: "Arf."

Weiss: "I am not jealous..."

 

[AndrewJTalon]

Nick: "Son? You've come of age and now you're a man. And you now have shown signs of the Arc Family Curse. Just like your mother."

Jaune: "Curse?"

Nick: "The Arc Harem Lead curse."

Jaune: "What."

Nick: "Now... If you can manage the curse effectively, you could have a happy family of several wives and live happily forever after! If you can't? You'll have to fight for your life or die!" beams "Fortunately, your mom and my curses mostly cancelled eachother out! But we did still have to fight a lot of crazy people!"

Jaune: "Uh huh..."

Nick: "And one of them tried to murder your mom! I think she was after her though, not me."

Jaune: "She?!"

Nick: "Yeah! Did you know girls can kiss girls? It's awesome!"

Jaune: "I'm... aware? Wait... That time with that blonde woman with glasses, that tiger lady and Mom in cowkinis and you in a cowboy outfit in the barn-?"

Nick: "Yup! The curse still needs some relief every now and then!"

Jaune: "... I need to go be violently ill in the bathroom."

Nick: "Have fun!"